Fine in Lingerie: Lingerie #11

by Penelope Sky

  Crow walked up to me, wearing the same stern expression he usually wore. Unless he was emotionally moved or particularly angry, he always looked the same, displaying a constant expression of indifference. “Griffin.” He extended his hand to shake mine.

  I paused for a moment before I took it. I shook hands with my biggest enemy, a man I’d vowed to kill just a year ago. Now I stood in his house, welcomed into his family. I held his gaze as I squeezed his hand.

  He did the same. “Can I get you a drink?”

  “Scotch.”

  He nodded before he turned to the dining room. “Come with me.”

  I followed behind him then glanced at Vanessa over my shoulder, where she was whispering words with her mother. It wasn’t until I stepped into the dining room with Crow that I noticed he hadn’t even greeted his own daughter, giving me all of his attention.

  He poured two glasses then handed me the drink.

  I brought it to my lips and let the alcohol coat my throat.

  He did the same before he set it down. “How was the drive?”

  “Fine.” It took twenty minutes to get there. It wasn’t like it was a long trip.

  Crow stared at me, looking confident but obviously pressed to have a conversation with me. “What have you been doing to keep busy? While Vanessa paints?”

  “Work out. When I’m not doing that, I watch her work.”

  He leaned against the table while he held the drink in his hand.

  Even after the two-hour conversation we’d had the other day, it was still awkward between us. Though we were a lot alike, we had nothing in common except the brutal past we both shared, along with the one woman keeping us bound to each other.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” he said to break the silence. “Lars is making a nice dinner. You like steak?”

  I kept the smile off my face, hiding my amusement at his struggle. He was desperate to make me feel welcome, and he clearly didn’t know how to do that, not like his wife. He never went out of his way to talk to anyone, not even his brother, but he was bending over backward to engage with me. “I eat anything—except Vanessa’s cooking.”

  He chuckled, a true smile coming over his face. “She’s a smart girl…but she never caught on to that.”

  “It’s fine. I usually do the cooking.”

  “You cook?” he asked in surprise.

  “Yeah. Chicken, fish, stuff like that. I was pretty much forced to when Vanessa and I got together. It was either that or eat pizza every night…and a man like me can’t eat pizza very often.” Vanessa pigged out and ate whatever she wanted, but she still had curves I loved to grab on to. For me, I couldn’t be this muscular without eating a lot of protein, and I couldn’t be this cut if I ate too much shit. It took a lot of discipline. The only reason we had cereal in the house was because Vanessa bought it.

  He chuckled again. “My wife learned throughout our marriage, but when we met, she wasn’t the greatest either.”

  You mean, when you kept her as a prisoner. Since Vanessa was around, I kept that insult to myself. There were a lot of things I wanted to blurt out, but since I wanted to make her happy, I was on my best behavior. But there would never be a time when I looked at Crow without feeling a twinge of pain in my shoulder. “How’s Conway?”

  He took another drink before he answered. “Much better. He’s moving around a lot more. They’re looking for a house before the baby comes, but since she’s due in a month, I’m not sure how likely that is to happen.”

  “So all the Barsettis are congregating here?”

  “Except Carter. He’s been busy lately with work, but he calls Conway to check in.”

  That was a lot of Barsettis for one postal code.

  He stared at me for a while, probably wanting to say more but unable to think of something.

  I refused to make it easier on him. I’d tried talking to him many times, especially at the winery, and I was always met with hostility. I should be the bigger man for Vanessa, but this was as big as I was willing to be. She should be grateful I was standing in that house at all, let alone drinking her father’s scotch.

  He studied me for a moment longer, his features slackening into a focused look. “There’s something I want to talk to you about. But I’ll wait until after dinner.”

  I didn’t care what he wanted to discuss. I didn’t want to stay in that house any longer than necessary, especially for another hour after dinner. Sitting with the Barsettis for an entire meal seemed impossible.

  Vanessa walked into the room. “Father? Uh, thanks for saying hi…”

  “Sorry, tesoro.” He set his glass down and wrapped his arms around her. “Just got sidetracked.” His hand cupped the back of her head as he held her, his eyes soft in a special way just for her. His chiseled arms tightened noticeably while he gripped her, his body stiffening protectively for her. It was like he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t appreciate the moment enough. “How are you?” He kissed her forehead before he pulled away.

  “Good. I’m hungry.”

  He smiled at her, a look of pure happiness on his face. “You always say that when you walk in the door.”

  “Because it’s true. All I eat is cereal all day.”

  “Yes, Griffin mentioned that,” he teased.

  She turned to me. “You told him I couldn’t cook?”

  I shrugged. “It’s not like it’s a secret, baby.”

  She smacked my arm playfully. “You—”

  I grabbed her wrist and yanked her into me, pressing my mouth on hers. I gave her a kiss, right in front of her father because I didn’t give a damn. I pulled away and fixed my authoritative look on her face. “You what?”

  She melted right before my eyes, not caring about her father either. “You…wonderful man.”

  I pulled her in for another kiss. “Good answer.”

  I pulled out the chair for her before we sat down to dinner.

  Vanessa did a double take, shocked by what I’d just done. I’d never been the kind of man that showed manners. I didn’t open the door for her, I didn’t pull out the chair before dinner, and I never gave her any indication I was a gentleman.

  But I had it in me…once in a while.

  She smiled before she took her seat.

  I pushed it in then sat beside her.

  Her parents sat down, along with Conway and Sapphire. Conway made small talk with me about Florence and his sister’s artwork, but he didn’t go out of his way the way Crow did. But Conway’s behavior was definitely an improvement over to the hostile way he treated me before.

  Sapphire was nice, like always.

  The women in this family were a lot more understanding, with the exception of Pearl. They were the kind of Barsettis that I liked, the kind that were logical enough to look past their hatred and see me as my own man.

  I’d been sitting there for less than a minute when the memory came back to me.

  This was the very chair I’d sat in. The very chair Vanessa handcuffed me to. I recognized it because of the cuts in the wood, the cuts the metal from my handcuffs had caused. The shotgun had been placed on the table, and Crow checked the barrel to make sure it was loaded. Both of the Barsetti brothers had stared at me with utter disgust. They called me trash. They called my mother trash. They said I was worthless then ordered me to get out of their house. I shouldn’t have expected them to react in any other way, especially with our history, but there was something I would never let go…

  The way he insulted my mother.

  My dead mother.

  I stared at my empty plate while the Barsettis talked among themselves. Bottles of wine sat on the table, along with burning white candles. Everyone helped themselves to the freshly baked bread in the baskets, along with the extra virgin olive oil and freshly churned butter. The smell of dinner wafted in from the kitchen.

  But my mind was a million miles away.

  I wasn’t an innocent person. I admitted I wanted to kill every single person in this room at one poi
nt in time. But I dropped that vendetta because I loved a very special woman. Crow could never drop that vendetta. It wasn’t until I took that bullet for him that he started to see me as a real person.

  As something more than trash.

  All I had to do was sit there in silence and let Vanessa visit with her family. I didn’t have to talk unless spoken to. When the food arrived, all I had to do was eat. I wanted to make Vanessa happy by allowing her to have both of us, her family and me at the same time.

  But I wasn’t ready for it.

  It was too soon.

  I pushed the chair back and rose to my feet. Everyone watched my movements, including Vanessa. “I’m going home. I’m sure your father can give you a ride back when you’re finished, baby.” I tossed the napkin on the table and turned away.

  Crow looked indifferent. Pearl didn’t hide the surprise in her eyes. Sapphire looked down at her plate, the intensity too much for her to address. Conway stared at his father, waiting for him to do something.

  Vanessa couldn’t believe what I said. “What’s wrong? You were fine ten minutes ago.”

  “I wasn’t fine ten minutes ago. I can’t sit here with your family and pretend everything is fine. Your entire family treated me like fucking trash until I took a bullet that almost killed me. All I ever wanted was you, but my love wasn’t good enough. I know I should leave the past where it belongs…but it’s too soon.” I didn’t want to look at Vanessa a moment longer, so I walked out. I knew my way through the maze of the mansion and let myself outside. It was dark out now, but the heat hadn’t dropped by much.

  Vanessa emerged a second later, her light footsteps hitting the gravel. “Griffin—”

  I turned around. “I didn’t mean to ruin dinner. Just go back inside.”

  She marched up to me, still looking beautiful even when she was upset. “You didn’t ruin anything. Just come back in—”

  “No.”

  Her mouth shut.

  “You know I’ll do anything for you. I’ve proven that already. I’m glad we’re finally together and your family doesn’t want to murder me anymore. I’m happy—really. But I can’t sit there and pretend none of that shit happened. I busted my ass for six months, but your family continued to insult me, continued to call my mom a whore who deserved to die a whore’s death. I understand they despise my father and always will. No contest there. But my mom was innocent. I was innocent.” I pressed my hand over my chest. “I’m just not ready, Vanessa. Spend time with your family all you want. I’ll live in Florence. I’ll move in down the street if that’s what you want…but I’m not ready for this. You know what chair I was just sitting in?”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, keeping several feet in between us.

  “It was the chair you handcuffed me to, the chair where your father pointed that shotgun at me.”

  “That was a long time ago—”

  “Maybe for you. Not for me.” My nostrils flared. “You’re mine now, and I’ll never let anyone take you away from me. But they did take you away from me…for a long time. I don’t believe in soul mates or any of that bullshit, but something tells me we’re supposed to be together. I know that doesn’t make sense, not with our history, but it doesn’t make it untrue. You’ve healed me in ways I can’t explain.”

  Her eyes started to water. “Griffin…”

  I hated watching her cry. It killed me inside. “I went through hell for those three months.”

  “I know…I did too.”

  “No, you don’t know,” I said coldly. “You don’t know how hard I fell. You don’t know how violent I became. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and then you were gone. I can’t sit in that fucking chair and pretend that didn’t happen.”

  “I’m here now. We’re together now.”

  “Only because I jumped in front of your father and took a bullet that would have killed him. Vanessa, that gun was pointed at his damn face. He would have—”

  “Stop.” She closed her eyes, the tears moving down her cheeks. “Please don’t do that…”

  I knew I would always share her heart with her family, especially her father. They would always have one half, and I would have the other half. I would never have it all, not even after what we’d been through. “It’s been less than a month since I was in the hospital. I need more time. I need more time to move past this.”

  “I understand.” She opened her eyes and looked at me again. “I never meant to rush you. You didn’t tell me any of this—”

  “Because I want to make you happy. I thought I could put up a front for a few hours…but I can’t. Not sitting in that damn chair at that fucking table.” I hated being this far away from her, hated watching the tears stream down her face without doing anything to stop them. I was the reason this was happening, and I hated myself for hurting her. The last few days had been spent fucking and being happy. The second we got here, the bliss was over. “I understand what your family means to you, so I’ll share you. But…don’t expect me ever to be close with them. Don’t expect me to be the man you’ve always dreamed about, a man who will be another son to your father. I know that’s important to you, but you have to deal with reality. That guy isn’t me.”

  She wiped at her tears. “You are the man of my dreams, Griffin. Exactly as you are, no matter how difficult it gets. Whether you love my family or hate them…you’re the only man that I want. I never meant to rush you. When you’re ready…if you’re ever ready…we’ll try again.”

  I stared at her, relieved that she was patient with me. It would be ridiculous if she weren’t. Her father was making an effort to move forward, and her mother was kind to me. But no matter what they did to start over, it could never erase the past. I couldn’t forget what happened…and I hadn’t forgiven them for it either.

  I moved into Vanessa and cupped her cheeks before I kissed her. It was a soft kiss, full of remorse and self-loathing. I wiped her tears away with my thumbs then kissed her forehead. I didn’t say a word before I turned around and walked to the truck. I didn’t need to tell her I loved her every time I said goodbye.

  Our love was so real that she always knew.

  “Griffin.” Crow’s deep voice came from behind me, his boots crunching against the gravel.

  I was trying to get away from the Barsettis, not engage with them. It would be easy for me to get in the truck and drive off, ignoring him like he deserved. But something stopped me. Something kept me from crossing that line.

  I turned around, seeing that Vanessa had walked back into the house.

  Crow walked up to me, dressed in all black like usual. He was slightly shorter than I was, and with green eyes like Vanessa’s, he reminded me of hers in some ways. They were both fearless and hard, but they also loved openly. He stopped in front of me and rubbed the back of his neck. “I heard what you said to Vanessa.”

  “Of course you did.” I leaned against my truck and crossed my arms over my chest.

  Crow ignored the insult. “I can’t apologize for the way I behaved before. I love my daughter and—”

  “You’ve said all of this already. You did your best, Crow. Give yourself a pat on the back and just let it go. I don’t like you—never will.”

  This time, he actually looked pained by what I said.

  “I didn’t mean to ruin your night. Honestly. Spend time with your family.” I turned around.

  Crow grabbed my shoulder and forced me back toward him. “You are family, Griffin.”

  I pushed his hand down. “Don’t touch me again. The only reason why I won’t cross the line and actually punch you is because of Vanessa. But don’t push me.” I leaned back into the truck again.

  He ignored everything I said. “You are family, Griffin. You are part of this family, and it would make us all very happy if you came back in and joined us.”

  “I don’t care about making you happy.” I turned back to the truck and opened the door.

  He pushed it shut.

  I
faced him. “You don’t think I’ll break your nose?”

  Crow didn’t flinch at the threat. “Then hit me, Griffin. We both know I deserve it. If that will make you feel better, by all means.” He dropped his hands to his sides. “Do it. I’m serious.”

  It was tempting. Very tempting. But it would break Vanessa’s heart. I would never do anything that would cause her that kind of pain. When I talked about that gun in her father’s face, it brought her to tears. “No.”

  “Come on.” He egged me on with his hands.

  “Hitting you is like hitting Vanessa. I won’t do it.”

  He dropped his hands. “Then what’s it going to take? How are we going to move forward?”

  “We can’t move forward,” I snapped. “There’s too much pain here. Vanessa will be part of our lives forever, and I will always take care of her. But it will always be divided. I’m not taking her away from you, and you aren’t taking her away from me. So let’s just be happy with that.”

  He stepped back and ran his hand through his hair, sighing through his flared nostrils. “You don’t get it. I want you to be part of this family simply because it’s what I want. Yes, I get to see my daughter whenever I want and have a close relationship with her. But all I care about right now is having a relationship with you.” He shook his head slightly as he looked at me. “We both have shit that haunts us. We both have done terrible things to each other. We’re both guilty of horrible crimes. We both need to let it go.”

  “I agree. But I’m not ready.”

  He moved his hands to his hips, his shoulders stiff with frustration. “I’m sorry for what I said about your mother. It was uncalled for…even then. I mean that.”

  I looked at the house, refusing to meet his gaze.

  “You’re right. She was an innocent person. It was low…even for me.”

  My mother was the only family I had. She’d been dead for nearly as long as I’d been alive, but she was all I had. I had to defend her. I had to defend her the way Vanessa defended her father. It shouldn’t make a difference if she was dead or alive. “She’s all I have. I don’t remember her very well, but that was the only time I celebrated a holiday or had a home…until Vanessa. I listened to you insult her because I was doing whatever I could to keep Vanessa…but I haven’t forgotten it.”