Twins on the Way
Page 8
Gavin still wanted her. As much as she wanted him. But he wasn’t happy about it.
At long last, he moved away. “I’m sorry.”
She was sorry, too. Sorry he hadn’t dragged her to the carpet and had his wicked way with her. Pregnancy hormones could be a blessing and a curse. Right now she wanted Gavin with every fiber of her being. For two cents, she would throw herself at him and let nature take its course.
But her pride got in the way. She was damned if she would let him think she was using sex to win him over. Either he trusted her, or he didn’t.
Her mood plummeted. She had gone from fear of rejection upon her arrival to joy at seeing him again to disappointment that he wasn’t prepared to believe her story.
“I’ll try to stay out of your way,” she said. Gavin’s antagonism laced with unwilling arousal was insulting.
He folded his arms across his chest. “I doubt that will solve anything.” He paused, frowning. “What would you say if I told you I believe you about the baby?”
“The baby is real,” she said, deliberately misunderstanding him. “You don’t have to believe me.”
“You know that’s not what I meant. This isn’t a joke, Cass.”
She inhaled sharply. “Believe me, I know that. I’m scared spitless.”
His expression tautened. “Is that how you really feel?”
She hadn’t meant to reveal weakness to him. “This isn’t what I wanted...what I planned for. My life has run off the rails in one big, dramatic train wreck. I don’t know anything at all about kids.”
“I think it will come naturally.”
“That’s a myth perpetuated by sappy commercials and greeting cards. Babies poop all the time and scream for no reason. They’re impossible to understand, and from what I can tell, their entire raison d’être is to drive otherwise functional adults to the brink of insanity.”
“Have you thought about giving the child up for adoption?”
His face was a mask. She had no clue where he stood on the matter. But hearing the option spoken aloud made her realize one thing beyond any doubt. “No. He or she, poor little kid, is my flesh and blood. For better or worse. I may suck at this, but I want to be the best mom I can be.”
His expression softened, and for a moment she thought she saw admiration in his gaze. “I’ll help you any way I can...even if I’m not the father.”
“Quit saying that,” she yelled. “You are the father.” Suddenly, several weeks’ worth of anxiety and fear caught up with her. Though she scorned women who manipulated men with emotion, she was completely unable to stem the flow of salty tears and the ugly, gasping sobs that shuddered through her chest and left her raw.
Her hands were over her face, so she didn’t see him come close.
“Shh,” he said, gathering her into his arms. “You’ll upset the baby. Everything is going to be okay. I promise.”
His quiet support only made her cry harder. She hated feeling so desperately inadequate. All her life she had been the A student, the perfect daughter, the kid other kids’ parents wanted their offspring to emulate.
She’d had a plan, and she’d worked hard to attain it. But now she’d lost her dream job, her home and her father’s blessing. And in the process gained a responsibility for which she was definitely unprepared.
This was what happened when you broke the rules. Some people were able to pull it off without consequences. But not Cass. She should never have believed she could walk on the wild side with impunity.
Resting her cheek against Gavin’s hard shoulder, her arms around his waist, she inhaled a deep breath and let it out slowly. He smelled the same as he had the night they met. A mix of aftershave and warm masculine skin and wildly erotic pheromones.
If he would hold her like this forever, she might try to squeeze out a few more tears. But the cataclysm had run its course. When she was reduced to sniffing and wiping her nose on the back of her hand, Gavin fished in his pocket for a soft cotton handkerchief, handing it to her without comment. The cloth was still warm from being close to his body.
He brushed the hair from her face. “You okay now, Cass?”
She sighed. “As okay as I can be. Nine months is a long time to be in limbo.”
“Don’t exaggerate,” he said, eyes dancing with humor. “Surely it’s only seven now.”
“Easy for you to say,” she muttered. “You’re not the one who’s going to swell up like a cow and have heartburn and need to pee constantly and—”
He put his hand over her mouth, halting her litany of dismay. Kissing her forehead, he rested his chin on top of her head. “You’re going to be the most beautiful pregnant woman the world has ever seen. Men are going to stop in the street to stare at your gorgeous breasts. And women everywhere will sigh in envy at your maternal glow.”
At last she chuckled. A weak laugh, but a laugh nevertheless. “You are so full of it.”
“I call ’em as I see ’em.”
“I’ll go now,” she said, pulling free of his embrace though she would gladly have stayed there forever.
“You don’t have to. You can stay and watch me work.”
“As lovely as that sounds, I’ll pass. What is it you do anyway?”
“My cyber defense company is called The Silver Eye. I access high-end clients’ servers remotely and try to breach them. When I succeed, I share the results and together we work toward a way to shore up their privacy and security.”
“You must be awfully smart.”
“It’s a longtime hobby of mine. The fact that I was able to make a business out of it was a bonus.” He glanced at his high-tech equipment and then back at Cassidy again. “What if I take you up to the hotel for dinner? China and candlelight and real linen tablecloths. You’ll love it.”
“It does sound nice.”
“Then it’s settled.”
She handed him his soggy handkerchief. “What time?”
He took it with a grimace. “My mother usually arrives around seven. We’ll eat with her if you don’t mind. She chews my tail if I don’t show up at least once a week...and I’m overdue.”
“Your mother?” The words came out on a squeak of incredulity.
He shrugged. “I’ll introduce you as an out-of-town friend. Your pregnancy is no one’s business but ours at the moment.”
“I’ve wondered when I’ll start to show.”
“Is there a formula for that?”
“Not really. It depends mostly on body type. And I’ve been sick so much I’ve actually lost weight.”
“I’ll make you a milk shake tonight before bed. We’ll fatten you up in no time.”
“Every girl’s dream,” she said, shaking her head at his cluelessness.
Gavin’s gaze warmed to intimacy. “Most men I know like curves on their women...something to hold on to. A soft place to rest.”
“For a computer geek you surely have a poetic turn of phrase.”
“Maybe you inspire me.”
They stood there in silence, each weighing the other’s motives. In his eyes she saw the need to protect himself with emotional distance. But his body language spoke a different dialect. Already, he had touched her, comforted her, imprinted himself on her skin.
The only thing he hadn’t done was kiss her. The omission seemed glaring. And regrettable.
Going up on tiptoe before she could change her mind, she captured his mouth with hers, pressing a kiss gently against his firm masculine lips. With her tongue she teased the seam until he inhaled sharply and opened to her, letting her in.
She was under no illusions. Her awkward, inexperienced seduction was neither graceful nor polished. But it did the job. Gavin growled deep in his chest and captured her nape in one big hand, pulling her close against his chest, shoving one hard t
high between hers.
“You’re a brat,” he muttered. But since his erection throbbed against the cleft between her legs, she didn’t put much stock in his criticism.
“I’ve missed you,” she whispered, arching her back so she could press her body even closer to his. “I didn’t want to, but I did.”
He nibbled a sensitive spot beneath her ear, making her squirm. “Why didn’t you want to miss me?”
“I had plans to take over the world. To be somebody. You were a temptation I had to resist.”
“Is that why you walked out of my hotel room?”
The trace of masculine pique in the sharp words told her he had been wounded by her defection. In the next second, she actually felt the change in him. The walls going up. The defenses snapping into place. Kissing her made him vulnerable, and that was the last thing in the world a man like Gavin Kavanagh wanted to feel.
“It seemed like the thing to do at the time,” she said, hoping he’d understand.
“And once I was gone, how long did it take you to find another man to take my place?”
After a split second of shocked silence, she backed away sharply, tears springing to her eyes. “You’re cruel and hateful and I don’t know why I came here.”
He scowled. “Maybe you couldn’t stay away from me. Maybe there’s no baby at all. Maybe that was a ploy to get into my house.”
Even knowing he was fighting an attraction he didn’t want, the accusation hit its mark. “Go to hell,” she said, her chest heaving in wretched hurt and anger. “I don’t even like you.”
“Yeah,” he said, his jaw rigid and his eyes stormy. “I don’t like you, either.”
Eight
Gavin wasn’t worth a damn after that. How in the devil was he supposed to carry on with business as usual when the siren who had lured him onto the rocks in Vegas presently occupied a bedroom right down the hall?
Even worse, now that he had tasted her again, he hadn’t a snowball’s chance in hell of pretending he didn’t want her. The need was like a tropical disease, striking without warning long after he had left the neon jungle. One look at her sweet face and mischievous eyes, and he was a goner.
Once again he allowed himself to consider the possibility that he had planted a child in her womb. Dear God. He should be pissed and angry and worried, but all he could latch on to was an emotion that felt a lot like euphoria. A baby. Was it possible?
He sat down hard in his chair and stared at the laptop readout in front of him. It might as well have been written in Sanskrit. The words and symbols danced across the screen, mocking his lack of comprehension. He was a man who could work for hours and never lose focus or concentration. His brain thrived on difficult puzzles.
But never had he faced a situation like this. For a moment, he saw his younger self behind bars, his fate and his reputation hanging in the balance. He’d felt utterly lost and alone.
Was he walking into another trap? Cassidy Corelli was not mentally ill. She had no need of his family’s money. Yet still his unease remained. He kept going back to that night in Vegas. Why had he responded to her so viscerally? Why did she set him on fire? Not being able to understand his reactions made him uneasy. Why did a young, attractive woman wait so long to experiment with sex? And why choose a stranger?
He wasn’t a whimsical man. He dealt in hard numbers and immutable equations. Over the past year or so he’d watched his brothers fall in love. In every instance, he could say without a doubt that his siblings had found mates who were perfect for them. Dylan and Aidan had reconnected with women from their pasts. Liam had discovered a female who didn’t let him take life too seriously.
None of them had initiated relationships based on a one-night stand and an accidental pregnancy.
Gavin had taken several psychology classes in school. Freud would say that there were no accidents. That perhaps unconsciously, Gavin knew when he made love to Cass in the tub that he’d forgotten birth control and didn’t care.
Was it true? Had Gavin wittingly contributed to the current situation? Or was Cassidy using that omission to coax him into believing that she carried his child?
What would have happened if he hadn’t had a plane to catch that morning? Would Cassidy have stayed in his bed? From all he could tell, she was ambitious and determined to pursue her goals. He couldn’t fault her for that. It was one thing they had in common.
But when she walked out of his hotel room that day, had she felt even a fillip of remorse for not saying goodbye? Or regret that she wouldn’t see Gavin again?
He didn’t claim to understand the fairer sex. They were complicated and mercurial and no two were alike. How was a man ever supposed to gain the upper hand?
In the current situation, however, Gavin was determined not to let himself be swayed by physical attraction. Keeping his distance from Cassidy was a matter of self-preservation. Even if the baby was his, there were numerous hurdles ahead.
Did he honestly want to consider a shotgun marriage to repair her relationship with her father and give the baby Gavin’s name? What chance did they have under those circumstances? Even the best of marriages failed at an alarming rate. He and Cass would be handicapped from the start. She would no doubt end up resenting him and the baby for destroying her dreams of working side by side with her father. And Gavin would always wonder if he was a means to an end.
He was tempted to believe every word she spoke, wanted to quite desperately, in fact. But if he dismissed his doubts and took her to bed again, what then?
Cassidy Corelli troubled him. He was vulnerable where she was concerned. And vulnerability was the enemy of control. The incident when he was in college had taught him to build a wall around his emotions.
If he were going to be able to navigate these next few weeks, then he had to stay away from her. No touching, no kissing and certainly no sex. He would make that very clear.
Convincing Cassidy was one thing. Convincing himself was going to be a whole lot more difficult...
* * *
Cassidy unpacked her things and tucked them into the drawers of a beautiful armoire. Gavin’s home was sophisticated and lovely, not at all what she had expected when she tracked him down at the end of a private mountain road.
Maybe she had been expecting a masculine cabin with hunting trophies on the wall or a cluttered residence with big-screen TVs and recliners and pizza boxes stacked high.
The truth pointed out how little she knew about him. He was a deep river with strong undercurrents. His home reflected his love for beauty and his predilection for solitude. High ceilings, arched doorways and large windows created pleasing spaces that radiated tranquility and offered peace and the chance for reflection.
Curled up on a cushioned bay window seat, she looked out into the forest. It was the kind of scene where unicorns and centaurs might wander by. Or even a knight on a fiery steed.
As a young girl Cassidy had lost herself in books. Because her father—in his grief—had removed all pictures of Cass’s mother from the house, Cassidy had often daydreamed about her mom. She had imagined the two of them weaving daisy chains and playing with puppies and stretching out on a quilt to watch cloud pictures in the sky.
Already, she found herself making lists of things she wanted to do with her baby. Books they would read together. Songs they would sing. Games they would play. God willing, her child would never have to grow up without a mother’s love.
It scared her, though, to think about giving up her dreams and her career. Did she really have to? Was there a way to have it all?
And what about Gavin? Would he ever be as determined as she was to give their little one a perfect childhood? Even as she spun dreams, she acknowledged wryly that parenting was not going to be all rainbows and lullabies. It would be hard work...and at times unrewarding.
Her
body was changing. Soon the evidence would be impossible to hide. What was Gavin thinking? Could he trust her without the test? Did he have any feelings for her at all? Or was she no more than an unpleasant disruption of his ordered life?
She would stay only until she had a chance to figure things out. And she would do her best to keep her distance as long as she shared Gavin’s home.
When it was time, she dressed carefully for dinner. If she was going to meet her child’s paternal relatives, she wanted to make a good impression...even if they had no clue what was going on.
The dress she had worn for travel was wrinkled, so she picked a sleeveless boat-necked top in black lace and paired it with a multicolored above-the-knee skirt in flirty silk. Strappy gold sandals made the look a bit dressier. The elastic waist guaranteed comfort if dinner didn’t settle well.
She was ready and waiting when Gavin knocked on her door at six-thirty.
His eyes widened when he saw her. She saw the muscles in his throat work. But he didn’t comment on her appearance. “Ready to go?” he asked gruffly.
She nodded, following him out into the hallway. He had shaved recently. The scent of lime tickled her nose in a pleasing fashion. His broad shoulders stretched the seams of a navy sport coat. The jacket, teamed with dark khakis and an open-necked white shirt, made him look like an ad for the successful young entrepreneur.
It was hard not to drool. She found herself wanting to strip away the trappings of conventional society and have him naked and all to herself for at least a week. Maybe then she would know where she stood.
While she was in her room dressing, Gavin had brought his car around from the garage in back of the house. Parked beside her nondescript rental was a sleek, fire-engine-red Porsche convertible, the top already stowed away.
She pulled up short. “Wow. This is yours?”
“Well, I didn’t steal it if that’s what you mean.”
Ignoring his sarcasm, she ran a hand over the sleek hood. “I am so jealous,” she breathed, reverently completing a circuit around the stunning vehicle. “This is what we should have had for our desert drive. I’m getting excited just looking at it.”