Blackness Awaits

by Karlsson, Norma Jeanne

  “Let’s go,” Kellerman commands and moves from the room at a brisk pace. He walks out the front door where Thomas has my SUV running alongside Cal’s. Thomas opens the back door of my SUV and stares stunned as Kellerman climbs in seamlessly barely jostling his family. The rest of us pile into the SUVs and take off to Overland Park Regional Medical Center. She’s just sick and needs fluids. There is no need to panic. So why am I shaking from head to toe like I do when I’m afraid I’m going to lose her?

  Kellerman

  Kid’s still out. We’ve been in the ER for an hour trying to figure out what’s wrong with her. She’s dehydrated so they started an IV and are running tests. Johnny’s passed out cold in his stroller (tank) thank God because he wore my ass out. All seven of us are smashed in this tiny room and refuse to leave until they can tell us what’s wrong with her. My mind is racing with worst case scenarios and I can’t make it stop. This has to be a horrible flu or food poisoning from hell. I can’t consider any other option. The universe couldn’t be so cruel as to hand her something else to battle in this life.

  She’s not puking anymore but that’s surely because there is nothing left in her. Kid’s been at it more than twenty-four hours. Her skin is sallow and lifeless, nothing like Kid usually is. The door to the ER room opens and we all come to attention. Doogie Howser (Dr. Jenkins) walks in (yes this is becoming something of a bad joke in my world between pilots and doctors) scanning the room with a question forming on his brow.

  “Is one of you Aaron Kavanagh?” Dr. Jenkins asks still confused as to why this woman is surrounded by men that all seem to have claim on her. All of our brows furrow in the direction of Kav.

  “I am,” Kav responds confidently while standing from the chair on the other side of her bed from me.

  “According to Miss Kelly’s chart you’re her power of attorney. Is that correct?” Dr. Jenkins asks tentatively not knowing who in the room may take offense to his statement.

  “That’s correct,” Kav again answers confidently more in attorney mode.

  “Would you mind if we spoke in private concerning Miss Kelly’s condition? You’re son can stay so you don’t have to disturb him,” Dr. Jenkins says clinically earning a low menacing growl from me. Before I can inform the good doctor of his grievous error the door opens again.

  “I’m sorry, Doctor Jenkins, but these men insisted on bein’ allowed back here. One claims to be the baby’s father and the other the grandfather,” a nurse says with a shrug before Karl and Butch push past her. Cal spits out a laugh while the rest of us try to hide our grins. Leave it to Karl to find a way to get in here that is impressive and entertaining. Butch’s face is sick at the sight of Kid. She’s like a second daughter to him and with one daughter in a coma I can only imagine what this view of Kid is doing to him. I grab his shoulder and squeeze as he takes the seat next to mine his eyes never leaving Kid.

  “What’s wrong with her?” Karl demands.

  “I was just going to speak with Mister Kavanagh regarding her condition before you arrived,” Dr. Jenkins replies to Karl looking sheepish.

  “Well,” Karl prompts.

  “Mister Kavanagh would you care to step out of the room for a moment?” Dr. Jenkins questions his baby-face becoming wary.

  “There’s no need. Feel free to enlighten all of us,” Kav says before retaking his seat and offering me an apologetic look. I don’t give a shit who has her power of attorney or whatever else, no one in this room would dare cross me right now.

  “All right. Miss Kelly is severely dehydrated and at this point we believe her vomiting and nausea may stem from hyperemesis gravidarum. This is just the onset for her based on your estimations that she has been healthy as of late. Can you tell me how many weeks she is?” Dr. Jenkins asks Karl.

  “How many weeks she is what?” Karl returns.

  “Pregnant?” Dr. Jenkins looks at Karl like he’s an idiot. Every eyeball in the room snaps to me and I freeze. She’s pregnant and there’s something wrong that I don’t understand, much less could any of us even pronounce it. Time for me to speak up.

  “Doctor Jenkins Shannon is my girlfriend and Johnny is our son. I’m sorry for the confusion, but I need you to explain whatever the hell you just said in plain English. She’s pregnant?” I ask pointedly.

  “Yes Mister,” he leaves the space for me to fill in.

  “Kellerman.”

  “Mr. Kellerman. How old is your son?”

  “Twelve weeks and four days. He was six weeks preterm.”

  “Were there any complications during or following the birth for Miss Kelly?”

  I don’t want to answer his question. I don’t know why, but saying Johnny didn’t come from Kid makes me sick to my stomach. I hold the doctor’s gaze for a long moment.

  “No. She didn’t have any issues,” Karl answers for me. It’s not a lie per se, and I feel relieved not to have to tell this doctor our very strange circumstances.

  “Well I’ve put in a call to a maternal fetal specialist to have a look at Miss Kelly. I’d like to do a quick scan just to check the fetus if that’s all right with you Mister Kavanagh?” Kav looks at me waiting for me to give the go ahead. I nod and squeeze Kid’s hand. She’s pregnant with my baby. But she’s really fucking sick too.

  “Can you explain what’s wrong with her again please?” I ask Dr. Jenkins quietly.

  “She appears to be suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum, HG. It’s extreme morning sickness. The severity varies on a case by case basis. At this point we need to ensure that she stays hydrated and the specialist will work out a nutrition plan with her. Once I’ve done the scan we’ll transfer her to a room on the maternity unit until we get her rehydrated and tolerating food and fluids orally.”

  For a teenager Dr. Jenkins is taking every weird thing in the room in stride. He doesn’t seem intimidated or horrified, though he’s giving Karl a bit of the stink eye.

  “Thank you,” Karl addresses the doctor. “Sorry for lyin’ to get back here but I needed to be with her.” Karl’s voice has an edge of pain to it and I understand completely. He didn’t know what was wrong with her and the staff was trying to keep him away. I would have told any lie I could have come up with to get to Kid if I were him.

  “I didn’t know they were having an affair until the baby was born,” Karl finishes with a fake sniffle. The whole room bursts into laughter waking up Kid and Johnny. I laugh so hard that the tears I’ve been holding at bay spill over as I lock eyes with the most stunning emerald jewels the world has ever known.

  Shannon

  Waking up to the cacophonous sound of laughter might be the greatest thing in the world. Opening my eyes to find a teary eyed Kel might be the sweetest since they appear to be happy tears.

  “Hey,” Kel soothes squeezing my hand.

  “Hi,” I croak my throat in pain from the vomiting. I must have eaten something really nasty to be this sick. I don’t think I’ve ever been this sick in my life. I feel better now though (good drugs?).

  “Miss Kelly?” a foreign voice calls from the end of my bed. I look toward the voice and find a teenager in scrubs addressing me. Are there no adults working in important roles anymore? I offer him a sweet smile and he blushes. I really wish I was eighteen again when these boys do this. Kel growls and I smile because he doesn’t realize that I have the jackpot of hotness in my bed every night. I still like messing with the young ones.

  “Miss Kelly,” the doctor clears his throat and tries to regain his composure. Inward shimmy of I’ve still got it! “I’m Shane Jenkins. Your doctor,” he stutters a bit realizing he didn’t do a bang up job of introducing himself professionally. I hear Cally and Finn snicker in the corner.

  “What’s wrong with me Doctor Jenkins?” I ask hoarsely. I could use a drink but I’m afraid I’ll throw up with just a drop hitting my tongue. Johnny starts to fuss and Butch grabs him from his pram. Butch is so good with the baby and I’m glad Johnny has a “grandparent” around all the time. The baby
settles immediately into Butch’s shoulder and I return my gaze to the young cute doctor.

  “I believe you’re suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum,” he informs me.

  “What’s that?” I ask hoping it’s not some rare incurable cancer because that’s just how my fucking luck works.

  “It’s extreme morning sickness.”

  “I’m sorry?” I ask disbelieving. Did he just tell me I’m pregnant?!

  “HG is what people often refer to as extreme morning sickness,” he repeats to me like I’m an idiot.

  I look at Kel and he’s beaming with pride.

  “I’m pregnant?” I ask Kel in a whisper.

  “Yeah, Momma,” he replies sweetly kissing my cheek gently.

  I look to Kavy, Sully, Cally, Finn and Nicky (Nicky fits in this line up of my boys perfectly).

  “I’m pregnant?”

  All four nod in unison with perfect smiles and Cally’s dimples to top it off.

  I look at Thomas.

  “I’m really pregnant?” I ask in a tone that says please wake me up from this dream.

  “You’re really pregnant,” he replies in his luxurious deep bass tone.

  I look at Karl.

  “You’re pregnant, Shannon. It’s okay to be happy,” Karl says soft and sweet.

  I look at Butch who is streaming pride from his eyes.

  “I’ll have to start workin’ out more to be able to hold two of these guys,” he says through his smile.

  I smile back and reach out to take Johnny from him. I want to hold my baby. I’m going to have two babies. Holy shit balls!

  “When am I due? Is the HG dangerous for me or the fetus? When can I go home? Can I continue to breastfeed?” I rapid fire questions at the doctor giving him a look that says get fucking answering. He smiles kindly at my crazy.

  “HG can be managed. We’re still not certain that’s what you’re suffering from. HG can be difficult to diagnose. I’ve called a maternal fetal specialist and she’ll be able to answer more about that and when you can go home. You can continue to breastfeed as long as you aren’t prescribed any medications that counter indicate. I was hoping you could help me out with the due date. Have you had menstrual cycle since giving birth?” Say what? I look at Kel with a questioning glance. He looks at our intertwined fingers guiltily. Kel didn’t want to tell the doctor our crazy background. I get it. This is not an easy story to tell and frankly there’s no reason for an ER doctor to know. He won’t be treating me or looking at my lady parts (I hope).

  “No,” I answer swiftly. I haven’t. I quit taking the pill as part of the lactation induction and Kel and I have been using symptothermal method for birth control as recommended by our lactation specialist in Seattle. Who knew you could prevent pregnancy just paying attention to your body? I guess I didn’t pay attention well enough if I’m knocked up. Whoops!

  “Well let’s do a quick scan and see if we can get you a due date before you head to your room on the maternity unit. Would you like your…friends to step out for a few moments?” he asks trepidatiously.

  “My family can stay,” I say strongly. I squeeze Kel’s hand and offer him a broad smile. I don’t feel sick at all. I hope the young doctor is wrong about the extreme morning sickness. I don’t want to be sick like I have been. Please let him be wrong.

  “And your family would be?” Dr. Jenkins is struggling.

  “All of them,” I reply pressing a soft kiss into Johnny’s fuzzy head. The doctor studies me for a brief moment and then leaves the room.

  “You’re such a hussy!” Karl laughs from the end of my bed. I burst into laughter as the rest of the room follows.

  “We’re gonna have to start construction on the extension next week. You two keep making a baby every nine months we’ll have to move to a compound and let Kid home school and sew all our clothes,” Kavy jokes with Kel.

  “You’re serious about extending the house?” I ask Kavy in shock.

  “Fuck yeah, Kid. I hired an architect and Kellerman hired a contractor last week,” Kavy scoffs at me. I told them to do whatever they wanted. Apparently, they did.

  “How big is the extension?” I ask realizing maybe I should have some details now.

  “Just about twelve hundred square feet off the back of the house. I’m thinkin’ we need to adjust now though,” Kel answers silently communicating with Kavy’s eyes. They so have man crushes on each other.

  “Was it a twelve hundred square foot stripper room?” I snark.

  “Only half was for the strippers. I put two bedrooms and a bathroom on the top floor,” Kavy answers with no waver in his voice. Fuck he’s serious.

  “You’re serious,” I say in disbelief.

  “Kid,” Kavy says harshly. “You really think I’d have a stripper room in our house where you and my nephew sleep at night?” Kavy’s offended. He’s never offended.

  “No,” I respond sheepishly. “You just sounded serious.”

  “I almost lost you a few months ago, then you lost Kellerman, then we all almost lost Johnny, and now you’re sick. Why the fuck would I bring strippers into the place where I keep you all safe? Give me a little fuckin’ credit!” Okay now Kavy’s just pissed. I pass Johnny off to Butch again and pull Kavy toward me. I don’t want him too close because I reek of vomit, but I need him near me.

  “Kavy, I know you would never endanger me or the baby,” I say firmly.

  “Babies,” he corrects me in a snort. I smile at him and cup his cheek forcing his gaze to mine. He’s not pissed. He’s scared out of his mind and leading with anger.

  “I’m okay, Kavy. Don’t freak out on me. Women get pregnant every day and have babies every day. I’m okay,” I stress firmly. I feel fine right now. Not nauseous in the least. Kind of hungry actually.

  “People are after you again and you’re sick,” he whispers and presses his head further into my palm. All eyes in the room are on us and I can feel Kel’s anxiety at my side.

  I brush my thumb across Kavy’s cheek before I sit back in my uprighted bed. I look to Kel who is just as freaked as Kavy and has been tryin to hold it in. Before I can assuage any of their worry Dr. Jenkins returns with a cart carrying an ultrasound machine. Butch stands up with the baby to make room for the machine yet allowing him a view of the monitor.

  “Can you roll your pants down a bit for me and raise your shirt?” Dr. Jenkins asks clinically while switching the lights off in the room and messing with the ultrasound. The men in the room have tensed like the young doctor just asked me to perform a striptease. These boys never quit. I do as the doctor asked and grab Kel’s hand to get him to calm the hell down. I hear the faintest growl at the back of his throat and roll my eyes.

  “This gel should be warm for you,” the doctor says as he squirts goo on my belly. And then he has the wand in his hand and starts moving it around. It’s just a bunch of white noise and black and grey on the monitor as he moves around clicking away at the keyboard. Then he stops and rotates his wrist just slightly before pausing.

  “There we are,” Dr. Jenkins says softly. “Here, Miss Kelly.”

  “Shannon,” I correct quietly focusing on the monitor to try and decipher what I’m seeing.

  “Shannon, see here and here,” he points to two blobs blinking on the screen.

  “Yeah.” I look for a long while and then it starts to hit me. “Twins?”

  “Yes. And probably the cause for your severe nausea and vomiting. Some women carrying twins have worse morning sickness than others but it usually fades by the second trimester.”

  I know he just said something important, but I quit hearing after yes. I look at Kel who looks a little pale.

  “Kel, you okay?” He nods slightly still staring at the screen. I look at my boys and family around the room and they’re all staring at the screen with the same scared as shit face that Kel has. I start to giggle.

  “It’s not funny, Kid,” Kavy admonishes me with a grin in his voice.

  “You’re all scared
of two babies,” I say through a louder laugh. They snort and humph at me as the doctor starts moving and clicking again.

  “I’m just taking some measurements here so we can get a ballpark due date for you,” he explains. I watch the screen and my flickering blobs. I’m going to have three babies. Maybe this isn’t funny. But I feel nothing but happiness so I keep my smile plastered on my face. Kel kisses my palm and I look over to him.

  “Hey,” I say tenderly.

  “Hi.”Kel’s face breaks into a face splitting smile.

  “Well from these measurements it looks like you’re due date is March eighth. Which puts you at about thirteen weeks, conception date around the fifteenth of June.” Dr. Jenkins furrows his brow at his math. That would mean I got pregnant only a few days after giving “birth”.

  “They didn’t waste much time breaking my heart again,” Karl sniffs from the end of the bed. WHAT? All my boys bend in half laughing as I watch in utter confusion. I’m left out of an obviously very comical inside joke. Dr. Jenkins looks beyond uncomfortable. He quickly hands me a few pictures with arrows pointing at the babies, hands me a towel to clean the goo off and pulls the machine from the room. As soon as the door shuts I’m on them.

  “Spill,” I command Karl.

  Kavanagh

  “Spill,” Kid orders Karl who is still laughing along with the rest of us.

  “The hospital Nazi’s wouldn’t let me back here so I told them that I was the father of your baby and Butch was my dad,” Kid’s eyes are huge but there’s a smile playing at the edges of her mouth.

  “I’m still a little lost,” Kid says trying to piece the rest together.