Not Dead in the Heart of Dixie

by R Kralik

  I told Mick to have Ian move all his stuff into Isaac's building and pretend the other one is Jeremy's or something. I don't have the time or desire to figure out lies and deceit over such a petty thing as wallpapering with currency. I hate this. This shouldn't even be an issue.

  I've asked Jeremy to put several “peep holes” in the plywood over the windows so we can spy on the soldiers out front. He's busy with the drill right now.

  I hear someone coming up the driveway and it sounds like the Silverado. It's probably Soo and Hisa either back to stay, or back to grab Merry and Valerie.

  I'll write later if I'm able. See ya later.

  12:30 PM...

  Soo and Hisa picked up Merry and Valerie and headed back to the boonies. I thought about asking Mick if I could go with them. Nah... I can't leave my house for strangers to plow and pillage through.

  I figured out a way to hang my computer in the closet. I used a black canvas bag with thin straps around the hanger and put my black winter coat over it. My laptop fits perfectly inside the bag, but I had to put the power supply in the coat pocket. We'll leave the extension cord from the generator strip and plug a lamp into it. Yes, I know it's a cheesy and simplistic hiding spot that even a five-year-old could find. Maybe that'll be the beauty of it? Fingers crossed.

  Whatcha wanna bet they come straight in here and go straight to my closet. I've taken a Xanax of the blue variety because I needed it. It's making me a little loopy but it definitely helps.

  Mick is standing watch out front, waiting for the Army to arrive. The men who remain on the compound are working on the fence. I had to get them out of the house. They were driving me crazy(er).

  Oh crap!

  I hear trucks at the gate and gunfire off in the distance.

  See ya later.

  11:50 PM...

  I've decided to write from the closet. It's hot in here and the air is thick with whatever fibers and dust happen to fall from hanging clothes. I can't keep my eyes off the doorknob. If that sucker starts turning, I swear I'll jump through the ceiling.

  Colonel Thompson arrived with his group around 12:45 this afternoon. The lead vehicles stopped at the gate and two armed soldiers exited the vehicle in front and stood at attention, waiting for someone to come down the hill and converse with them.

  Mick and Jason stood up from their watch positions and headed down the hill. Those of us inside the house peeked out the front door and through the holes in the plywood. It wasn't long before the remaining men came down from working on the fence and took a spot on the front porch to watch and wait.

  Only a couple of minutes went by before Mick and Jason opened the gate and allowed the lead vehicle to enter. They shut the gate behind it and crawled inside the rear doors. The black Escalade drove slowly to the top of the driveway and the driver put it in “park.” I thought that Escalade was mighty flashy for this “end of the world situation” we're having.

  Mick and Jason crawled out of the rear and waited as the driver and his co-pilot climbed out of the front. They were dressed in formal attire from covered head to shiny toe.

  One of the soldiers opened the door and Colonel T.J. Thompson crawled out. I mean, literally... he crawled out. He was dressed in camouflage from head to toe, sort of.

  His hat was askew, his shirt was halfway unbuttoned, and I could see stains in the armpits of his white t-shirt underneath. His boots were untied and he was laughing up a storm. He was either very sick, or very drunk, and I figured I already knew which one it was.

  Another soldier dressed in camouflage from head to toe climbed out of the passenger door. He stuffed Colonel Thompson back inside the Escalade and turned to glare at the driver.

  Whatever telepathic message he was sending got through. The driver ran back around, hopped inside, and backed the Escalade down to the gate as the second camouflaged man walked up the sidewalk and onto the porch with Mick and Jason close behind. Mick had that “I didn't see a thing” look on his face but I could tell he was ready to burst out laughing at any moment.

  Josie poked me in the ribs and said “that's a Major!” She almost seemed giddy.

  Mick and the “Major” were quietly talking, and I looked past them to see a huge amount of military vehicles pulling into the field and all along the sides of the road.

  It looked like what I'd imagined the inside of a bee hive looks like. There were dozens of vehicles and all of them were drab olive green except for the Escalade still sitting by the gate.

  The vehicles were loud, and the volume rose even more as stern voices began shouting orders. A few distinguishable words rode the breeze and made the journey up the hillside. I couldn't see the end of the line and was still searching for it when Mick opened the door and ushered the Major inside.

  The Major waited as Mick and Jason made their way in and closed the door behind them.

  None of us said a word. We were waiting for the Major to speak. I stepped up beside Mick and gave the Major my “go ahead” look.

  The Major asked that they be allowed to search the house and make sure there was no “unsavory characters” hiding out. They were “sure we'd understand.”

  When they got to my bedroom, I held my breath. They checked under the bed and opened the closet door. I was so nervous that I almost had to leave the room. I saw one of them reach into the closet and the veins almost popped out of my head and neck.

  The soldier reached in and pushed all our clothing to the sides. Then, he banged around on the wall at the back of the closet, the sides, and the ceiling. He stood back looking satisfied and gave the entire closet one last glance before he shut the door. He turned and walked out of the room.

  I fell on the bed and almost hyperventilated into my pillow. I realized that I've become much more dependent on this computer than I should be. I stood and went back to the living room for further instructions.

  The Major stuck out his hand and said “How do you do, Mrs. Kapper. I am Major Knellson” (he spelled it out for us). “I am second in Command to Colonel Thompson, who isn't feeling well this afternoon. I trust you've had time to read the documents and digest what you learned from our scouts?”

  I nodded my head and turned to lead him and anyone else who wanted to listen in straight to the kitchen table. Pop was already sitting there, and he motioned for Mick to take the chair at the head of the table. The Major didn't argue and stood behind the chair on Mick's left.

  Both men stood and waited for me to take a seat. Pop pulled out my chair and I plopped down on Mick's right. My heart was almost beating out of my chest as the Major sat down and the remaining chairs became filled with Josie, Ian, Rick, Rona, and Kevin.

  Major Knellson lifted his briefcase and placed in on the table in front of him. He pulled out a large orange folder, closed the briefcase, and returned it to the floor. The folder was left on the table. He opened the cover and my heartbeat was doing double time. “Shall we begin?” Major Knellson said. We all nodded.

  Major Knellson looked around the room, nodded, and turned the first piece of paper toward me and Mick.

  Suddenly, we heard gunfire from the road. Everyone jumped to grab their weapons except Major Knellson. He said “Don't worry. We always have HDI's from outlying areas try to follow us or invade camp. They're attracted by the noise. Depending on the number of HDI's in the area, you might hear weapons fire at any time, day and night.” Everyone sank down into their seats and glared at him.

  I thought to myself “That's just dandy! They not only invaded our space with a gazillion troops and vehicles, but they also brought every HDI in the county along.” We heard sporadic gunfire throughout our two hour conversation.

  Believe it or not, we had to read every document and then take a multiple choice quiz on what we read. I was shocked and felt that we were being treated like children.

  Major Knellson noticed my discomfort and explained that the quiz is intended to make certain anyone who signs the documents understands completely what they've just read. Aft
er we passed our “pop quiz,” we were allowed to sign the documents and pass them around the table for signatures from everyone there.

  The documents were short and to the point, leaving no room for loopholes on either side. They were written exactly as the copies the scouts had left.

  After the initial documents were signed, Major Knellson looked around the room and asked if everyone on the compound was present. Josie said that was “affirmative” and he gave her a soft smile.

  He asked for the name of the property owner and Josie named me and Mick without hesitation. No one spoke out or disapproved, so he wrote our names at the top of a large piece of paper and asked for the name of the group. “Kapper Hill Compound” Mick proudly said. I spelled it out for him. The Major nodded and wrote the name in large letters above the owner’s names.

  He pulled out a final document and passed it around the room instructing everyone to write their names, social security numbers, and places of origin. When the document was returned to him he counted the names and then counted out the exact number of medical permission forms from his briefcase. We were instructed to each read one, sign the medical forms, and hand them over to the doctors when we went in for our physicals.

  He stood and clicked a short series of bursts on his hand held radio. Five minutes later, we were making small talk when someone knocked at the door. “That's my men” Major Knellson said. Marisa went to the door and two formally attired soldiers walked in. Major Knellson introduced them as Private Gillespie and Private Devon. He told us that they would be assigning our medical appointments.

  Major Knellson kindly expressed his gratitude for our co-operation and saw himself out the door. I noticed several armed soldiers waiting on the porch to guide him back to the Escalade which was parked at the top of the driveway again. We haven't seen him since.

  Someone knocked at the door several minutes after Private Devon and Private Gillespie left. Mick went to answer it. There was a very handsome soldier who'd come to let us know that supper would be served at 6:00 sharp inside the compound at the base of the driveway, and that we were expected to attend.

  We all prepared for supper and headed down the hill. Gunfire still sounded sporadically in the distance.

  I sent a thank you up to Jesus that I could see where I was going. I noticed several tents set up inside the compound. Most of them are olive green and look like Officer's tents.

  There's two small, white tents with a red cross on the side and top. We all knew we'd get our physicals in those tents.

  I sent up a second thank you when I walked inside the large tent they are using as a cafeteria and saw the buffet spread they were offering.

  There was real fried chicken. I couldn't believe my eyes. There was also fish filets, roast beef, broiled chicken and just about every common vegetable you can think of. There was pasta and several different sauces to go over it. We ate our fill as sounds of distant gunfire came from every direction. By the end of supper I had almost stopped jumping with every shot we heard.

  We came back to the house as a group and our medical appointments began.

  Two doctors meant that two people could be examined at the same time. Jason and Marisa were scheduled to start us off and Mick and I followed.

  We're all on a 24 hour no caffeine order so they can test our pee tomorrow. Why? I have no clue. “It's part of your physical exam” I was told by an old battle-axe in a white lab coat. She looked shocked and irate when I grabbed a little specimen cup and squatted on the ground. I was about to give her what she wanted right then and there. “No, no, Mrs. Kapper” she said. “We'll perform the urine test tomorrow. You may get dressed and return to your home.”

  I thought to myself “Gee, thanks... you old $%^&*#.” She'd already had her hands all over me and I got the feeling she liked it. I was wearing a hospital gown that opened in the back and I was standing inside a flimsy tent, at night. It was well lit by the strongest solar lantern I've ever seen.

  The tent had flimsy flaps that lifted with the slightest breeze and I felt like I was lit up like an overweight Venus de Milo who'd come to life on a runway in Paris during some huge, naked event.

  Every time those flaps raised, it seemed like it took forever before they'd slowly resume their correct position and hide whatever was inside.

  I was fed up... and I was mortified that Mick wolf whistled during one of the “flap raising” events. Old Battle-axe was mortified as well. The look on her face almost took me away from my anger and into a fit of laughter.

  I stepped out of the tent as Battle-axe called Mick inside. When he was fully engulfed by the flimsy tent, Battle-axe bent down and tied the flaps to the center post. I was livid and stomped up the hill and into the house. Mick came in about 30 minutes later and adjusted the seat of his pants as he told me he'd been thoroughly examined.

  So far I've fallen in line and done what they ask of me.

  They didn't even ask about computers and only wanted to know if we had any communication devices. Josie quickly spoke and said that we didn't.

  I don't know if I'm being a bad girl and deserve punishment for keeping my computer a secret. I really don't care. This thing is my closest confidant and they'd have to pry it out of my “cold, dead hands.”

  I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, other than the fact that I'm going to the dentist and psychologist. I'm already dreading it and I wish these people were headed down the road away from us.

  I'm gonna hide my computer and crawl in bed with Mick.

  Bye for now.

  Monday, April 7

  There was a loud knock at the door around 6:00 this morning. It was a “messenger” bringing news that breakfast would be served at 0730 and Major Knellson had invited Mick and me to join him. I practically had to roll Mick out of bed to get him up and moving. Neither of us slept well. We heard gunfire all night. It seemed like there were a hundred separate incidences.

  It was already hot in the house and I stepped out back to read the thermometer. It was eighty-six degrees and, in my opinion, that is miserable. I came back inside, brushed my teeth, took a birdbath with cold water, and got dressed.

  Mick was dressed when I came out of the bathroom. He refused to brush his teeth until after breakfast. I told him I was sure that Major Knellson would appreciate that. He groaned and went in the bathroom to brush his teeth.

  We headed down the hill and I noticed that the camp was a little quiet. I figured that everyone was busy stuffing their faces for breakfast.

  When we walked in the tent, we were met by a “host” and led to Major Knellson's table. It was a metal folding picnic table. I'd never seen one before and thought it was fabulous. I asked Major Knellson if we could buy a few and he just laughed and told me I was “delightful.” Hey, I was serious.

  We were escorted by three soldiers who carried our plates and added to them whatever we asked. There was eggs, bacon, hash browns, grits, biscuits, oatmeal, pastries, toast, ham and egg omelets, and quiche. We were offered either water, juice, or decaffeinated coffee to drink. I loaded up on the basics and went back to my seat.

  Major Knellson made small talk with us throughout breakfast and we were serenaded with several more gunshots from the direction of the Masterson house.

  He didn't acknowledge the gunshots and continued talking as if nothing was happening, He asked if there was anything in particular we needed and couldn't get.

  I told him we needed animal food, canning jars, ammo, people food, medication, and lots of solar panels along with a solar expert to set them up. He said he can help us with everything but the solar panels. He does, however, have a soldier in the unit who is very familiar with solar setups and can spend some time with us. He can also provide us with several books on solar power. We'll take what we can get. Mick plans to meet with the solar expert after his medical appointments

  It wasn't long before the rest of our crew began filtering in for breakfast. Major Knellson's eyes lit up a little when he saw Josie walk in. H
e motioned for her to join us and she gathered her plate and sat down beside him.

  As soon as Josie was comfortable and settled in, Major Knellson turned to Mick and me and told us that he wanted to speak in private with Josie about her prior experiences. He said he was grateful to us for joining him. In other words, we were dismissed.

  We left our fancy Dixie paper plates on the table and headed out the door. Mick wrapped his arm around me and we came back up the hill.

  Jason came inside and told us that there were at least 50 soldiers working on the fence and they'd been there since 6:00 this morning. He said we wouldn't believe how much they've got finished. I headed in here to sit in my closet and type. Mick headed out to see what the soldiers were doing to his fence.

  My dental appointment is in 20 minutes, so I'm gonna hide my computer and brush my teeth again.

  My psychology appointment is right after that, but I don't have to pee in the cup for Battle-axe until later tonight.

  I miss Carisa terribly. See ya later.

  3:30 PM...

  I was sitting in the dentist chair this morning, getting scolded because I have two cavities and need to floss more often.

  The camp suddenly became loud and both myself, and the evil dentist, heard a lot of shouting and engine's firing up. I sat straight up in the chair and watched as he headed to the door of the tent. He was met head on by a young soldier who almost ran smack dab into him.

  He was told that the unit was on “code red” and he needed to prepare. He began throwing dental tools into canvas bags while screaming at me that there was gonna be a bomb and I needed to get everyone into the basement.

  I'm pretty sure my feet hit the ground only a few times as I practically flew up the hill.

  Suddenly, a very loud siren sounded and a few dozen soldiers began running down the hill and back to the camp.

  I was in a huge panic and began herding everyone into the basement, telling them what the dentist said as we went.