by Cassie Cross
The admission actually takes Kaia’s breath away, like a punch to the gut. She’s not sure what she was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that. Kaia places her free hand on Jason’s knee, and rubs the pad of her thumb back and forth. She doesn’t want to breathe a word; she knows that condolences aren’t what he’s looking for from her anyway.
“I had an incredibly privileged childhood. My father was the CEO of a software company that he built from the ground up alongside my mother, when the two of them were straight out of college.
“My dad was more of an entrepreneur; he had a head for the creative side of things, the software development. My mom handled the business side, because Dad just didn’t have time for the details. That was where she thrived.
“They were both basically married to their work, and hired help to take care of me, so I didn’t miss out on the fun parts of being a kid. I had a driver who took me to and from all of my practices,” he explains in what seems like one long whoosh of words, like all he wants in this world is to get them all out and be done with it.
Kaia just sits there listening, holding his hand.
“One night on my way home from soccer practice, this car cut us off at an intersection.” He pauses, as he stares out into the room, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. “I can still hear the screeching of the tires as the car came to a hard stop.”
Kaia can tell the story is getting more difficult for him to tell, and there’s a pained look in his eyes that she can hardly bear to look at.
“Jason,” she whispers, reaching up and cupping his cheek. “You don’t have to-”
“Please,” he says desperately, leaning into her touch. “I have to get this out.”
Kaia nods. If that’s what he needs, she’ll make sure he gets it.
“The guy driving the car that cut us off, he got out and just…he shot my driver. He was a new guy, a replacement for a man who had just retired. I don’t even remember his name, and he died just because he took a job for my family.”
There’s guilt wrapped around every single word that comes out of his mouth, and all Kaia can do is sit there and hold his hand, offering him whatever support she can.
“The guy opened the back door, and dragged me out, screaming. He put a cloth against my face, and I…I woke up tied to a chair in the den of my house. He…”
Jason’s voice falters now, and Kaia doesn’t need him to tell her exactly what happened. She’s seen evidence of it all over his chest, and she’s kissed every one of the scars that hasn’t faded with time. Oh how she wishes she could soothe the scars she can’t see.
“He tortured me for what seemed like hours.”
Tears burn Kaia’s eyes as she runs her thumb over Jason’s knuckles. She can’t imagine. Can’t even fathom what it was like to live through that, and to still be living with after all these years.
“I could hear my parents screaming for me,” he says, looking down at where his hand is twined with Kaia’s. “They were being held in some other part of the house by another man.
“I nearly blacked out from the pain. All I can remember is the man that was holding my parents captive was yelling about money, and my dad kept telling him that he could have whatever he wanted, as long as he stopped hurting me.”
“Jason,” Kaia whispers, really not wanting him to go on. She can see how much this is tearing at him, opening old wounds that had closed over time. But still, he continues.
“The man who had them, he brought them down to see me just before…and I’ll never forget the look in their eyes when they saw what had been done to me. Lacerations, burns…they were all over my chest and back,” he says, his voice completely wrecked. He looks up at Kaia then, looking so lost and broken. “My mother couldn’t stop crying. One of the men kept telling her to shut up, but she couldn’t help herself.”
The tears are falling freely down his cheeks now, so Kaia reaches up and takes his face in her hands, and kisses them away. She lets her forehead rest against his for a moment, and the two of them are quiet, just existing in the same space.
Then she waits for him to continue, because she knows he will.
“Finally the police showed up,” he says. “The man who took me shot my parents, and then the cops shot him and his accomplice.” He swallows hard, then inhales in one quick sniff. “And I was still tied to that fucking chair, completely helpless.”
Kaia isn’t sure what she should do. She wants to wrap her body around his and take away the hurt, but she’s not sure if an outpouring of support like that will be received as pity.
The very last thing she feels for Jason right now is pity.
Compassion, respect, and love, yes, those are on the list. Pity isn’t anywhere on there.
Kaia moves closer, wraps her arms around Jason’s middle, then pulls herself closer into his side.
“I’m so sorry that happened to you,” she says. “And I’m sorry about what happened to your parents. I’m even more sorry that you had to watch it.”
She runs her hand comfortingly along the column of his neck, threading her fingers through the hair at the nape, hoping the small movement brings him comfort.
“I worry about that happening to you,” he says emphatically, his red-rimmed eyes boring into hers. “Kaia, these men went after me to get to my parents, to get them to give them money. And I’m terrified one day that will be you.”
Kaia understands that completely, and she’d be lying if she said there wasn’t a big part of her—a bigger part of her than she’d like to acknowledge—that wants to turn and run away. But the part of her that is falling in love with this man wants to stay right here by his side. She wants to show him that he’s worth the risk, and that her feelings for him are stronger than her fear.
“Is there a reason why you think it might? Some specific, known reason?” she asks.
“You mean, have I gotten any threats specifically about you?”
When he says it like that, an involuntary shiver runs up her spine. Kaia nods. “Yes, that’s what I’m asking.”
“No,” he replies solemnly. “I swear to god, no. I hired Paul and his team as a precaution when I decided I wanted to be with you. It was something that made me feel better about wanting it.”
“So, hiring a security team is what made you feel okay about getting into a relationship with me and taking me out of one-night-stand territory?” she asks, curious about what his thought process was here.
“No,” he says, with a fond shake of his head, his eyes still glassy with tears. “You did that. I told you; you were the first person in years who didn’t react when you saw my scars. And the more time I spent with you, the more time I wanted to spend with you. I couldn’t stay away. The thought of losing you in my life because of something that might happen seemed too great of a risk, but I thought that if I told you what I was worried about happening and why, that you’d run away screaming.”
“Because that had happened before,” she realizes, remembering the conversation she’d had with Jason a few weeks before, when he told her about the girlfriend he told the story of his scars to. “And that’s why you’ve spent so long keeping people at arm’s length.”
Jason nods. “I figured that if no one knew there was someone special—if there never was someone special in my life—then no one could ever use that against me. Hell, I even keep the woman who took me in after my parents died at arm’s length.”
“This is why we stayed in all the time. This is why you kept me out of the public eye.”
With pain in his eyes, he nods. “Yes. I know you were thinking that I didn’t want to be seen with you. And in a way that’s true, but not for the reasons you probably thought.”
Kaia thinks on that, quietly letting all the pieces of the puzzle that is Jason Turner slide into place. It must’ve been so difficult for him, willingly pushing away his support systems because he loved them too much to let someone use them to hurt him.
The thought is actually staggering.
&
nbsp; The desire to forgive him, to be something good in his life, is so strong she almost gives in and does it right then and there. But if she gives in now, then he might leave her out of some important decisions in the future just to protect her, and she doesn’t want a repeat of this ever again.
“I had a right to know what I was getting into regarding a relationship with you, Jason.”
“I know,” he says quietly, letting his head hang down in shame. “That’s one of the reasons I didn’t tell you, actually. Because I was worried that you wouldn’t want to deal with it.”
Kaia realizes that everything that happened to Jason at such a young age must’ve left him with a terribly low sense of self worth, given that he thinks that no one loves him enough to want to stick around. Thinking that he’s not worth the risk someone would be taking to be with him. Kaia wants to disabuse him of that notion as quickly as possible.
“Say I want to deal with it,” she offers. “Say you’re worth that to me. What then?”
He looks up, completely surprised. “What?”
“Think we can figure out a way to make sure that I’m safe? To get ahead of any kinds of threats that might be coming our way?”
“Of course,” he vows. “But-”
“And you won’t make any decisions about me and my own safety without talking to me first?”
“If that’s what you want,” he quickly agrees, trying to tamp down the desperate hope in his voice. “Whatever you want. My only condition is that the security stays.”
Given that she now knows more about what she might be facing if she stays with him, Kaia can’t argue with him wanting a security team to keep an eye on her. But she does have a condition. “If the detail stays, then I want you to introduce me to them. I want to know who’s doing the protecting, just in case.”
Jason looks so relieved, she could kiss him.
And she’s going to do just that, but she wants to make one thing clear first.
“If you ever do anything like this again, Jason…if you don’t consult me about my own safety, or you just unilaterally make a decision about me without getting my input, then we’re through.”
“I won’t do that again, I promise.”
It’s the answer she wanted to hear, but she’s still feeling skeptical.
“You won’t keep it a secret if you think telling me the truth will make me want to leave you?”
To his credit, Jason contemplates that for a moment, which gives Kaia a little bit of comfort. If he’d answered no straight away, then she’d think he was paying her lip service.
“I think yesterday made me understand that the truth will come out anyway,” he explains thoughtfully. “I don’t want to hide anything from you. We’ll consult with the security team if anything makes you uncomfortable. Together. I want you in my life, and you said you didn’t want to be a secret. I don’t want you to be a secret, but I need to make sure we’re very careful about being in the spotlight. If you’ll stay with me, Kaia…” he says, bringing her hands up to his lips. “I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”
She believes him. More than she’s ever believed anything else in her life.
* * * * *
In the early hours of the morning, Kaia is lying in Jason’s bed with her head on his chest.
“I want to ask you something,” she says, her fingers sliding across his soft skin.
“I told you, you can ask me anything.” He pulls her closer, and plants a kiss on the top of her head.
“When I looked you up on the internet after we first met,” she explains, feeling Jason’s muscles tense beneath her hands. “How come I didn’t find anything about what happened to you or your family? Surely there was news and police reports, but nothing came up at all.”
A long stretch of silence follows.
“I changed my name. I’m not proud of that, but I wanted distance from everything that happened. I didn’t want that to be why people recognized my name. I feel guilty about it sometimes, like I’m distancing myself from my parents, and I never wanted to do that.”
Kaia turns her head, and kisses Jason’s shoulder. “I don’t think they’d blame you for what you did, Jason.”
“I wanted to get as far away from that life as I possibly could, and changing my name seemed to be the first step.”
“What was your name? Is it okay to ask that? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I just thought-”
“It was Harrington,” he says softly. “My last name was Harrington.”
“It’s a beautiful name. Why did you decide on Turner?”
“It was my mother’s maiden name.”
Of course it was. Kaia felt like she probably should’ve guessed that much. “I’d love to hear about them someday when you feel like sharing.”
Jason’s fingertips trail up and down Kaia’s spine, leaving a trail of tingling heat in their wake. “I’d like that,” he says. “If it’s okay, could we do that another day?”
Kaia nods. “Whenever you like.” She knows he’s been on an emotional roller coaster over the past couple of days. It isn’t pressing information for her to have; she can let this breathe, and ask him to share some other time. There are more questions she’d like to have answers to anyway, like what happened to his father’s company, and why didn’t Jason follow in his footsteps.
But she can wait for that. She wants to give him some time.
“Are you still up for coming with me to the fundraiser on Saturday?”
“Yes,” Kaia replies. “Why?”
“There’s someone coming that I’d like you to meet.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Paul, Kaia, and Jason are standing in Jason’s kitchen early Saturday morning, steaming hot cups of coffee in their hands.
“We’re going to take you both through the back entrance, foregoing the red carpet and the photographers. I’ve got a few guys stationed throughout the ballroom to keep an eye out for any suspicious activity, and we’re going to do our best to discourage photographs.”
Jason raises an eyebrow. “Do your best?”
Without missing a beat, Paul replies, “We can’t keep track of photos people take on their cell phones, Sir. Best I can do is give them a talking to if I see them trying to take one, and dissuade them from posting it online.”
Even though he knows Paul can’t give him one, Jason was hoping for an absolute. A guarantee.
“We won’t let anything happen to her,” Paul assures him. He turns and looks at Kaia. “We’re going to keep you safe.”
That he believes.
“I know you won’t let anything happen to her,” Jason replies. “If I thought you would, you wouldn’t be here right now.”
Paul gives him a strained smile. “Fair point.”
“We have a meeting set up with my publicist first thing Monday morning,” Jason informs Paul. “A follow up to the one we had yesterday about controlling the narrative here, so random pictures of Kaia and I aren’t splashed all over the internet. So we can make sure we know what’s out there, and can keep her safe.”
“I understand, Sir.”
Jason nods. “Good. I’ll see you tonight.”
* * * * *
“That dress is gorgeous on you,” Jason says, as he watches Kaia carefully applying lipstick. He’s leaning against the doorway that leads to his bathroom, looking at Kaia’s reflection in the mirror. “Such a shame I’m going to have to throw it on the floor later.”
Kaia grins, her bright red lipstick in sharp contrast against her teeth.
“This is the nicest dress I own.” She pops the lid on the lipstick tube she’s holding, and puts it in her small satin clutch. “It cost me almost a month’s paycheck, and some respect will be paid.”
“I’ll pay for the cost of the dress if you just let me have my way with it. And then let me have my way with you.”
Kaia laughs. “Oh to be rich and not care about piddly little things like taking care of the expensive clothes I own.”
The flowing skirt would make it easy to hike up. He could slide his hands around the front, cup her breasts through the fabric, tweak her nipples the way he knows she likes.
He hardens at the thought, and knows that he won’t be able to keep his hands off her all night during the fundraiser.
Another version of him would’ve counted on escaping the festivities for a quickie in a coat closet, but this is their unofficial coming out. He doesn’t want someone to catch them fucking in some dark place like they’re some kind of secret.
No, he’s going to have her now.
He walks over to where Kaia’s standing at the vanity, and presses his body against hers. The dress is soft and silky beneath Jason’s fingers, but it’s no match for the delicate smoothness of her skin.
He slides his fingertip down Kaia’s spine, watching the play of her muscles as they tense. She rocks her hips back, rubbing against his rock-hard erection.
“Jason,” she whispers. She plants her hands on the granite countertop, and Jason leans over her, his chest covering her back. He nibbles at the skin below her ear. “We can’t,” she says, disappointment coloring her tone.
“We can.” He reaches around, and slides his hand beneath the silk panel on the front of the dress. The weight of her breast is warm in his hand, and she arches back into him when he rubs her nipple with the pad of his thumb. “We will.”
She looks at his reflection in the mirror, fire in her eyes.
“Lift up your skirt.”
She does as he asks, her gaze never leaving his. He reaches down, and slides his fingers through the warm wetness at the center of her thighs.
“Fuck,” he growls. “You’re not wearing any panties.”