by Shey Stahl
Hayden was most certainly not impressed by Dad and Spencer’s art work on the pool. In fact, she was pissed but you could tell she knew she had no room to complain about anything. When her and Casten got together they wreaked some serious havoc on my parents place last year before Gray came along. Yeah, best to keep your mouth shut otherwise there could be some other surprises in store from Uncle Spencer and my dad.
Tequila is my drink. It’s my comfort. Makes me mean as fuck but I love it. It also gets me thinking. And never in a good way. It’s like it tries to talk me into shit.
There I sat Friday afternoon drinking by myself. Didn’t even need the salt because I was crying so much all I needed to do was lick my lips and take a lime.
Most of my thoughts revolved around Easton. I’ll admit to myself that it may have been childish of me to walk away. I would never admit that because I had my reasons.
I’ve always been one to react, ask questions later, deal with the consequences. I get that from my dad.
He was staring at me right now.
“I thought you were in Michigan this weekend.”
“You mean Dover.” I looked up and then back to my shot glass. Beside it was a lime, salt shaker and a bottle of tequila. “Nope. I’m here.” And then I took the shot and pushed the bottle to him. “Want one?”
Dad looked at me, then the bottle. “It’s only eleven in the morning.”
“So? When does anyone in this family care about what time it is when they start drinking?”
He studied me for a moment. “Good point.” Taking a seat next to me, he reached for the shot glass. We took about two shots and then he laughed. “I feel like a bad parent right now.”
Casten walked in with Gray right then. She had shit all over her face, food and God knows what else in her hair. It looked like he hadn’t brushed it in days.
My stare went back to my dad. “No, he’s the bad parent.”
Gray smiled immediately when she saw my dad and tried to take his shot glass.
“No, no.” Casten said tapping her nose. “Mama would kill me if you got drunk before you turned two. And she’s not happy with me…” he looked at Dad. “Or Papa.”
It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if Gray had her first drink before she was two. I was actually somewhat surprised she hadn’t had a drink already given who her parents are.
My phone rang when Casten walked outside with Gray after that.
It never stopped ringing since I left Charlotte. He was persistent. I’ll give him that. He knew where I was but there was no way in hell he was showing up at my parent’s house.
Being drunk, I listened to the message. Only problem was I hit the speaker button so Dad heard the message. Whoops.
“Arie, just answer the fucking phone! You’re my wife and you’re not going to just shut me out.”
Dad stood and grabbed my phone from me and dialed Easton’s number.
I couldn’t hear what Easton said, probably thinking it was me, and then he stopped when my dad started to speak. “Okay, listen to me. You will not talk to my daughter that way. Ever.”
He waited, Easton said something else and dad responded with, “I don’t give a shit. When she’s ready to talk, she will.”
Well said.
“Something you need to tell me, Arie?” Dad said.
“Have another round, Dad, it’s five o’clock somewhere.”
Wave Around – If a driver is a lap down and the caution comes out, the lapped cars have the option of pitting, or not. If they chose not to pit, they are allowed to go to the back of the pack of the lead lap cars. Advantages are the driver gets a lap back. The disadvantage is he doesn’t pit. This is different than the “Lucky Dog” rule that allows the first driver a lap down, his lap back.
As Sunday rolled around, I was constantly searching for updates on Twitter to see how Easton was doing. I knew immediately he was struggling without me there. As if I needed the confirmation.
He got into a late race wreck with Sean and Asher that set him back to fourth in the championship points. Immediately I clicked on the post-race interview.
There he was standing next to one of the ESPN announcers who frequently interviewed him and he didn’t look happy. He was about to say something stupid.
“Easton Levi…you had a rough night in the 600 and it seems your luck has continued over to Dover. Can you tell us what happened during that late race wreck there with the fourteen and then two?”
My dad has always been cautious when he talks to the media about anything. He has to be. He’s been burned too much. Easton hadn’t learned that yet.
Easton wouldn’t look at the camera, instead his head was down staring at the ground. “Again, Sean just turned up into me. If you can’t drive you got no business being out here.”
“So you think he turned into you?”
“He did, and we took out two good cars during the process. I feel bad for Asher and I’m sorry. He had a good strong lead. Just as good as ours. My Simplex Ford has never been better.”
“What does this do to your championship hopes?” he asked Easton.
He finally looked at the camera, his eyes cold. “It just feels like everyone is against me in pulling this off.”
Then he walked away.
I sent a text to Jessie knowing I could trust her.
Shit. I understood he was a mess, but it wasn’t my job to fix this either. He needed to do that for himself.
I knew Easton wouldn’t be at the house since Jessie said he was at the team meeting right now. I snuck over to the house to grab some clothes. On my way to the JAR Racing shop Lexi was texting me.
When you text Lexi, you better get ready for an afternoon of texting. Lexi is always bored. It takes a lot to keep her attention and in turn she’ll just send you random text messages all day.
I couldn’t stop laughing. It was one text after another.
When I finally got to the shop, my stomach hurt from all the laughing. I showed Casten the text messages but apparently it wasn’t nearly as funny to him.
The guys were all gathered in the board room watching videos that Cole made over the last few weeks.
Cole was amazing at those videos and the angles he could capture. I liked the time lapse ones in the hauler or at CST Engines. They were the most entertaining.
Now if only Cole could stay off the drugs then he’d be good.
We were in the board room at the shop watching his latest creation when Casten laughed. “Why do they call it the board room?”
“Because everyone is usually bored in here?” Noah claimed, seeming amused with his statement. “Wow,” he pointed to the screen losing interest in Casten. “That’s cool.”
Cole has a way with the angles during a race that he’d capture off the GoPro. The view we had now was of Cody and Rager side by side at Lincoln and then a nice slide job Axel put on dad at Williams Grove. It looped directly into the guys pounding on the left rear of Tyler’s car after a flip in Lernerville. Then there were shots of the guys in the pits and Lane sleeping on the floor in the hauler.
He was capturing the lifestyle of them being on the road.
It’s not easy to travel with the World of Outlaws. I did it when I was sixteen. Went to every single race. It gets lonely too. Seeing these videos confirmed that.
It got me thinking how much I loved being on the road. Not the same road NASCAR paved for drivers though, that’s completely different if you ask me.
Sometimes the traveling gets to me.
I used to love to travel those first few years. But I was never truly in the spotlight like I am now. I can’t even walk onto the grid without people wanting to know what I’m wearing and stare at me. I hated that.
I didn’t stay long at the shop when Easton called. I let it go to voicemail again, only this time he didn’t leave a message. Part of me didn’t think he would after my dad yelled at him. Should I be disappointed that him not leaving a message or continuing with the onslaught of text messages m
eans he’s possibly giving up? Part of me needs him to fight for me, to show me that he’s still in this to win it and that racing isn’t everything. That I mean something to him still.
I drove back to my parent’s house that afternoon and planned to drown my sorrows with tequila again. Lexi kept texting me about becoming a lesbian and roller derby. See what I mean? You can’t text her because if you do, it’s non-stop all day.
She’s like Cole. She never stays on one topic for long. Neither does Cole. It’s like Lane is the only normal child between Alley and Spencer.
I will say this, Lexi is a good distraction from my problems at the moment. If you’re ever having a bad day, all you have to do is text her once and your problems are forgotten for the moment. I love her for it too because not once was I brooding because I was too busy laughing.
When I got to my parent’s house, Hayden and Casten were there with Gray, watching a movie.
Today they started remodeling their house. For good reason. Dad and Spencer destroyed it. But hey, they were at least paying for the damages. It was something like a forty-thousand dollar remodel but would be talked about for years and the pictures would last a lifetime. Casten refused to let them remodel the pool. He apparently thought the dick-jazzled pool was some kind of landmark now.
I noticed Gray first, on top of my parent’s counters walking around the edge trying to get to the jelly beans she knew they were always in the cupboard above the fridge. Mom stuck them up there to hide them from Spencer who never took the initiative to look in cupboards for snacks. If they were on the counter, he’d eat them. If he had to look, it wasn’t worth the effort.
I grabbed Gray off the counter and brought her into the living room where they were sitting. “How the hell have you two kept her alive?”
“Mostly luck. But I’m good with kids now. I’m kind of a pro. He’s good with kids because he is one.” Hayden said this with a straight face. Unreal.
Casten rolled his eyes looking over his shoulder. “That’s not accurate.” And then he noticed I was here, and smiled at me, and then Gray. “When we leave, daddy is going to touch mommy. Inappropriately. Maybe even make you a sister or brother.”
Hayden smacked Casten in the ear when they both stood up. “Don’t tell her that. Take me to dinner and treat me like a fucking lady.”
“How is cussing at her any better than inappropriate touching?”
“Shut up.” Hayden growled, scratching at her arms like she had a rash. Then I looked at her skin and laughed knowing exactly what happened.
“Why are you all orange?” I asked Hayden.
She glared. “Well it seems your fucking dad thought it would be funny to put self-tanner in all our soap bottles except for Gray’s.”
“At least he spared the baby.”
“Whatever,” Hayden rolled her eyes. “He’s still an asshole. I fucking hate this family and their stupid fucking pranks.” Then she turned to Casten. “Dinner. Now.”
They had a bag for Gray and looked like they were dropping her off. Looking around the empty house, I turned to them. “Who are you leaving her with?”
“We were just going to drop her off but no one was here. That would be bad parenting right there.” Casten gave me his best grin. The one he reserved for convincing people. “Can you watch Gray tonight so Hayden and I can have sex?”
“Uh, sure…”
They were out the door before I even said yes. Babysitting. I was babysitting.
Gray and I stared at each other when the door closed and I swear to God she rolled her eyes at me. Swear. To. God.
She looked like Hayden right then, same brown eyes and dark hair but all I saw was Casten’s chubby cheeks and grin. I couldn’t believe Casten had a kid.
Never would I expect Casten to be a dad. And a good one at that. He adored Gray, and Hayden. Treated both of them like princesses. Surprised the hell out of me.
Gray could do no wrong in his eyes. He used to make fun of Logan with Madison and then later with Lane when he had Abigale but never expected himself to be wrapped around a little girl so tightly.
I never gave kids much of a thought until Easton. Naturally. It wasn’t that I didn’t want them, it was that I couldn’t see myself being a mother. I certainly never thought Casten would be a dad either. Axel was a given. I knew early on he would want kids.
When Easton and I got married, he wanted to have kids right away. I was only eighteen, as was he, and I didn’t think we were ready at all. Thankfully I convinced him to wait five years. We were on year four now and it didn’t look like that was going to happen if things didn’t change soon.
When I told Easton last year that Casten was going to be a dad, he seemed a little disappointed that my hooligan brother was going to be a dad before him.
I will say Gray had a way about her that made you give in. Just like Casten. She’d inherited her daddy’s charm for sure and laughed just like him. She absolutely adored my dad though. If he was in the room, she wanted to be near him. Dad was a great father to me and my brothers but there was something about seeing him as a grandfather that made you smile.
“Honey, I’m home!” Rosa sang walking through the door with a bag of Cheetos in hand.
Rosa had been a part of our family since I was fourteen or fifteen, I don’t really remember. She also thought she was part of some unknown Mexican family too. You had to be fucking crazy to stay in this house with this group of people for any length of time.
“You’re watching Gray?” Rosa gave me this once over like I wasn’t good enough to be watching her. Forget that I was her aunt. That didn’t matter.
She didn’t need to know that I’d never actually babysat anybody’s kid before either. I was sure Casten hadn’t watched a child before having one and look at him, he and Hayden had managed to keep her alive so far.
“Yeah, so?” I finally said moving the tequila bottle away from Gray who kept reaching for it. I wasn’t drinking, but it was still there from last night.
I knew there was no doubt it was Casten and Hayden’s kid. Little lush had been eyeing my bottle all night like it was her milk.
Suddenly Gray pushed herself away from me. “Mamamama…”
I thought she was asking for Hayden and then suddenly she reached for Rosa.
“Oh my God! You taught her that, didn’t you?”
Rosa acted like she had no idea what I was talking about, but still smiled letting Gray take a handful of her hair.
I turned on the stool to face her. “You dirty liar.”
Rosa shifted Gray to sit her on her hip like she did this all the time. I was actually amazed Gray could walk since she convinced everyone with her smile to carry her around like a spider monkey. “I can’t help it if she wants me to be her mother.”
“I seriously doubt that’s the case.”
She said something in Spanish after that, or German, who really knew.
“Why are you here? I thought you were going out with Tommy?”
“Little fucker went out with Willie. Ever since Willie cut off the end of his finger Tommy’s been treating him like he needs to take care of him. Like he’s fucking handicapped or something.”
“Why?”
“He feels bad I guess. For dropping the hoist.” Then she sighed setting the bag of Cheetos down and reaching for the tequila. “I’m so mad. I really wanted some cream-sicle tonight.”
“Yuck, don’t say that.” I made a gagging sound. “Tommy is like my uncle.”
“Well he’s certainly not a role model type, is he?”
“Do you honestly think Spencer is?”
“Well. No. You poor child. You have no one to look up to.”
“Aiden is normal. And so are my parents.”
Rosa rolled her eyes. “That’s debatable. Aiden still wears socks when he has sex and your dad, well he—”
I cut her off before she said anything sexual about my dad. “How do you know shit like this?”
“Well, once a month I clean.
Well maybe once a year. Anyway, I hear things.”
“If you hear things then what’s going on with my mom?”
Rosa rolled her eyes. “Do you honestly think they’d tell me that?”
“No, you’re right, they wouldn’t.”
Gray climbed on the counter and reached for the tequila again. That’s when I realized it was like six o’clock. She was probably hungry.
“What do you eat kid?”
She pointed to the tequila bottle. “I bet you do.”
Rosa moved the bottle aside and revealed the box of puffy cookies I saw her with earlier. Groaning my head fell forward. “How did I let Casten convince me to do this? I have no clue what I’m doing.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll help you.”
Never believe a damn thing Rosa says. Ever. She’s a fucking liar.
I ended up texting Lily and asking what I should feed Gray. She said to give her chicken nuggets and applesauce. Apparently those were her favorites. Naturally, my parents had both.
So I served that up to her, included a few Cheetos and let her have it.
She was making all kinds of weird faces and stuffing her face full of food so fast she looked like a starving child in Africa. “Does she always do that?”
“What?” Rosa asked, looking up from her magazine. She’d found that Racers Edge magazine. “Damn Arie, your husband is delicious.”
I grabbed the magazine from her and tossed it in the garbage. “Eat that way. She acts like no one feeds her.”
“Um, well, I don’t know,” she looked at the garbage. “Why did you do that?”
“Because I did.” Then I smelled something incredibly foul coming from Gray. “Uh Rosa, where’d those diapers go?”
She handed me a diaper from the bag beside her and I handed her Gray, covered in applesauce and Cheetos. “Here…mama.”
“I can’t do that. I’ll vomit if I smell poop.”
I arched my eyebrow at her. “I don’t care. You taught her to say mama to you. Buck up.”