The Rookie (Racing On The Edge #7)

by Shey Stahl

  “Oh.” You could tell this conversation was making him uncomfortable and although he smiled, he still seemed sad. Casten was a mama’s boy. Everyone knows that and this would destroy him if she couldn’t pull through. He loved her more than life.

  “So you think it’s a good idea?”

  “How big?” He asked leaning against the car with his arms crossed over his chest.

  “Fuck if I know. It’s Emma we’re talking about. Probably like concert size.”

  Just then we heard the door to the shop open and in walked my dad and Easton. Yes. Easton.

  Casten and I both dropped to our knees and grabbed Gray. “Holy shit! He can’t see me in here.”

  Of course I wanted to hear what he was going to say to my dad but spying on them? For real?

  “Get under here!” Casten said motioning under the car where he was laying on his stomach, Gray right beside him doing the same thing. I had a feeling she’d done this before. “They’ll see you.”

  “With a baby?”

  “Yes.” He looked at me like I was stupid.

  “Your ideas are always dumb.”

  “No. They’re not. I sometimes have brilliant ones.”

  “Yeah? Like when?”

  He thought for a moment and then shoved me under the car. “I just have them. Now shut up. Don’t you want to hear what he says to dad?”

  It was just like Casten to get me wrapped up into this bullshit. The last time I trusted that fucker I ended up in the back of my uncle’s truck halfway to Canada.

  He never thinks things through. But I did want to hear this.

  As we argued, Gray once again wandered away and we had to keep bringing her back under the car. How they didn’t notice her was beyond me. She was practically crawling around under their feet. Dad had to have noticed her. I know he did.

  My dad is straight forward with his drivers. Even with my brothers. He’s business before bullshit and has always been that way. You don’t get to his level by pussy-footing around things.

  “Are you in over your head?” he asked, leaning against the car we were under.

  Easton said nothing. I couldn’t tell where he was, only saw his feet until he sat down in a chair with a beer in hand. They both had beers.

  “I need to know if you are.” Dad said.

  “What are you going to do about it if I am in over my head?”

  “We need to pull you out of triple duty then.”

  Easton laughed, it was a cynical laugh, not one of amusement. “It’s not that easy and you know it.”

  “Yeah, I know, but I can’t have you fucking up every race you are in because this shit is too much.” Dad agreed, his voice low but soft. He’s trying to make sure Easton knows he’s thinking of him and not the business side right now. “And if you’re distracted, or not in it, you’re destroying cars and we can’t have that. Sponsors won’t have that.”

  I sometimes wonder if Easton would actually tell anyone, especially my dad, if he was burned out on everything. Part of me didn’t think he would. It just wasn’t him. He’d go until something broke, himself included.

  “It’s like we’re spying on them when they’re deciding our punishments when we were little.”

  I looked over at him. “Or in your case, last week.”

  He shook his head rolling his eyes.

  “Pull your head out of your ass, kid.” Dad eventually said.

  “Nice advice.” Easton said, bringing the bottle to his lips. “Your dad give you advice like that?”

  Dad laughed, taking a drink of his own beer. “Yeah, when I needed it.” I heard him sigh and then look at Easton again. “There’s a difference between a champion and a legend. One goes for glory and then name. The other goes for the win.”

  Easton stared at him, and then I felt Casten’s eyes on me. We both shrugged not understanding what he meant. Gray even looked at us and I swear, she shrugged too.

  “And the next order of business, what’s going on with you and Arie?” Yeah, my dad just went there but Easton had to know he was going to bring it up.

  “That’s our business.” Easton looked reflective for a moment. “I don’t see why you care.” He said, glaring at my dad.

  “Stupid fuck.” Casten laughed lightly.

  “I suppose it is your business.” Dad laughed. “But when it comes to my only daughter, and her crying on my shoulder, that’s my business.”

  I could tell Easton was pissed when he replied with, “Figures she’d run home and tell her daddy everything.” He turned and faced my dad, anger present in his words. “You heard one side of what happened.”

  “Okay, well then, what’s your side?”

  “I was drunk and passed out in my motor coach. Shaylee and Olivia came in and got in my bed when I was sleeping.”

  “Nothing happened?” Dad asked, giving Easton a look that said you better not lie to me. He wouldn’t if he was smart.

  “Not that I know of. But I can’t be sure. I don’t remember.”

  “I’ve had that happen before.”

  “What?” You could tell Easton was surprised by my dad admitting that.

  “Yep, happened to me in Vegas once. I was married at the time too.”

  “What did Sway do?”

  Dad shrugged reaching for another beer. “Laughed it off.”

  Of course she did. It made me feel like shit that I would never be as easy going as my mom was. Maybe that’s how she’s made this work with my dad for so long?

  “I feel like she was looking for a reason to leave.”

  “If you think she was looking for a reason, help her find a reason to come back.”

  “I don’t know how.” Easton set the bottle in his hand on the tool box and stood. “I gotta go.”

  “Give her time but help her remember where her heart is.”

  “I am. I did.” His voice was strained, as if he’s on his last nerve. “She leaves and now the word on the street is she’s spending time with Rager. How’s that fair?”

  “There’s nothing you can do about that but trust her.”

  Casten looked at me with one hand on Gray, his eyebrows raised as he mouthed, “Rager?”

  I shrugged it off like I didn’t know what he was talking about.

  “Believe it or not I’ve been there before. I’ve been so caught up in the adrenaline I forgot where I was going and who was with me.” Dad was trying to make him see his side. An unbiased side. “Women who are with racers have it hard. They’re constantly trying to find themselves in a sport that doesn’t offer much room for them.”

  Easton left after that but Dad stayed and sat there. I knew what he was doing, he knew we were under there. Gray sneezed right then and dad chuckled.

  Casten’s head dropped to the floor shaking it as Gray crawled out and climbed in dad’s lap. “She’s always giving me away.”

  He looked at us under the car. “You two never grow up, do you?”

  “That was Casten’s idea.” I defended dusting off my shirt.

  I went back to my house to get my phone charger and a few things to take with me to Kansas City tonight. That’s when I walked through the front door of my home to see Easton in the kitchen.

  We needed to talk but was I ready? He didn’t know that I heard everything he said and I couldn’t tell him that right now. It’d only piss him off.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, startled by his presence there.

  “What am I doing here?” His tone was tense as he stared at the floor, his arms crossed over his chest. “I fucking live here.”

  “I realize that.” I walked past him and into the kitchen to grab my phone charger off the counter.

  “We’re married, Arie!” He stopped me when I walked by him, his hand on my arm. “Did you fucking forget that?”

  “Did you fucking forget that? Because I sure as hell I didn’t.” My eyes remained on the slated stone entry floor.

  “This is bullshit. You’re not even listening to me. You wanted
to leave long before that. Didn’t you?” his voice was sharp, begging the attention I wasn’t giving him. “And when you saw them, you found your out.”

  “So this is getting blamed on me then? You have got to be kidding me!”

  He was right. I did. And I have no idea why. Maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s him. Or maybe, it’s both of us right now.

  “Or maybe it was your way of pushing me away.”

  Breathing a labored sigh, Eason said, “I don’t understand why I have to take all the blame in this.”

  “What does that even mean?”

  “It means this isn’t all my fault.”

  “Yeah? Well I wasn’t the one wrapped in a sheet with two guys whispering sweet nothings in my ear!” My hands started to shake, a sure sign I was about to get pissed. Looking at him it was clear the emotion was suffocating us both.

  “Yet you just walked away. You didn’t even let me explain.” His shoulders rose and fell with each labored breath. His expression bordered on painful, his eyes dark.

  “I saw you…there wasn’t much to explain.” I said, clearing my throat.

  “But you didn’t see me waking up thinking that was you, or me telling them to get out. You didn’t see me tearing apart our motor coach that night because you left. You didn’t see that because you didn’t want to.”

  “Why now? Why explain all this now and not the next day or even by calling me that night? You haven’t heard me or been mentally present, hell, even physically present the majority of the time, in our marriage in a long time.”

  With unsteady hands, he pushed his hair out of his face, obsessing over this like I knew he would. “Well, for one, you turned off your phone and wouldn’t talk to me. I fucking called you and texted you. Even came home after the race at three in the morning to see if you were here. And when you weren’t, I was pissed off. You just assumed I would do something like that. You wanted an out to go home and you found it. Admit it Arie, you did.”

  He was pissed and I understood. I did. But I was mad too.

  My hand was on the door when he sighed. “You running back to daddy or Rager this time?”

  He was trying to hurt me and he did. He knew it.

  I’ve never been so angry with Easton as I was right then. He was here under the pretense of working this out yet he was trying to make me hate him, then he could justify this. And I did hate him right then. So much.

  He was right to a certain extent. I did just assume and I did want an out.

  “You know what pisses me off more than anything?” he was standing in the entry way now behind me, leaning against the wall. His eyes seemed darker, his hair shaggier than ever before. I noticed his eyes a little more right then, tired and red. He wasn’t sleeping.

  I amused him with a response diverting my eyes to the floor again. “What?”

  “The fact that you’re acting like it’s all me. That this is one-sided fuck up.”

  “What are you talking about?” I turned to face him again.

  “You haven’t been happy for a while.”

  “Can you honestly say you were?” I wanted to know that. I did. He seemed to be forgetting his attitude this last year wasn’t the best either.

  “With you, yes, I was happy. It’s everything else I’m not happy with.”

  “You are the only one who can fix the ‘everything else’ then.”

  I didn’t say anymore and left. He knew where to find me

  Hayden, Casten, Lily and Axel and I went to dinner that night. I felt like the third wheel but at least Emma was there and we were planning mom’s party. We needed to do this for her.

  Everyone was throwing ideas out there and it was decided we would have a concert and food.

  Hayden leaned forward joining the conversation. “I can make like a titty cake or something.”

  Alley and Emma both perked up. “Now we’re talking.” Emma said, amused. “We could do a tit theme.”

  Axel rolled his eyes and I knew it was because he was uncomfortable with the titty talk. “Dad doesn’t want to have a party.”

  “Who cares? It’s not about him.”

  “True.” He agreed, leaning back as if he wouldn’t say anything else. Axel was such a push over. Something’s got him fired up but not many. He knew it was best to just agree.

  “We need to make the night special for her.” Emma said, her eyes sad and distant. “One night that needs to be all about her. All her favorites.”

  We all came up with a plan to talk to dad about what would make her happy. He knew her better than anyone else but it was for sure that this was going to be an epic night for her.

  Packing the track – This refers to track preparation before a dirt race. Track promoters will have maintenance crews complete a process of using a cultivator to break into the surface, put water on the track and then use wheeled vehicles to force moisture into the racing surface thus increasing grip.

  The next morning I had a text from Easton first thing when I woke up.

  I didn’t reply. I couldn’t. I was still mad. If I did reply, he wouldn’t want to hear what I had to say, believe me.

  Mom had numerous appointments while the boys went to the Midwest. Dad wanted to stay home with her and be there but she made him leave.

  Dad appeared around the corner, his knuckles bloody.

  “What happened to you?”

  “He got in a fight with one of my doctors and punched the wall.” Mom rolled her eyes and smiled at me. “Which is why he’s going to Jackson and you’re coming with me.”

  “At least he didn’t punch his face,” I pointed out, giving dad a grin.

  Mom pointed at me. “Yes, way to look at the positive side. I like the way you think.”

  Dad laughed but the gesture didn’t touch him in ways it usually did. “Are you sure?” He asked Mom. He looked scared.

  “I am. Arie’s with me.” The way she spoke it made me feel it. She took so much pride in that statement I wanted to never leave.

  Mom and I drove into Charlotte for her appointment where she said they were going over the surgery and what to expect.

  “Thanks for coming.” She said as we waited for the doctor to come in. We were in his office where family photos lined his desk along with awards regarding cancer research. “Your dad isn’t allowed in here anymore.”

  “Why?” My eyes continued to roam over all the photographs. I wondered if this was a doctor’s way of making you feel comfortable. A way to make you relax and let you know they had families too.

  “You saw his hands.” Mom leaned forward for a mint candy on his desk and unwrapped it slowly. “He threatened my doctor with bodily harm if he couldn’t guarantee that this shit would be fixed.”

  “Not surprised by that.” My phone vibrated but I ignored Lexi’s texting and looked over at Mom.

  “Yep.” She stuck the mint in her mouth and smiled. “He made it longer than I thought he would though.”

  “How long?”

  She thought for a moment and then chuckled. “Twenty minutes into my first appointment.”

  “Impressive.”

  The doctor came in right then, a soft knock announcing his presence. He smiled when he saw my mom and reached for her hand. “It’s good to see you again, Mrs. Riley.”

  “I would same the same to you,” Mom teased. “But I really wish we would have never met.”

  He laughed leaning back in his large leather office chair. He was an older doctor, a gray beard shadowed his darker skin.

  “And you are?” He reached for my hand.

  I leaned forward and shook his hand. “Arie…her daughter.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Arie. I’m Dr. Cage. I’ll be performing your mom’s surgery next week.” Dr. Cage looked down at his notes and then back at us with warm eyes. “Your husband and you have chosen a double mastectomy with reconstructive surgery, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “I think that’s an excellent choice for you.” The doctor looked around the room,
watchful of the door. “Where is that husband or yours?”

  Mom laughed, the sound whimsical and light. “He’s racing in Jackson.”

  “What are the risks?” I asked, unable to keep silent anymore. I had all these thoughts going through my head and I couldn’t keep quiet. I understood Dad’s frustration right then.

  “Well, it’s surgery. There’s always a risk there.”

  Mom reached for my hand holding it firmly in hers and winked. “I’m going to be fine.”

  She’s a fighter in ways only she knows. I know that.

  I hadn’t thought about it much these last few days but right now it was getting to me. Maybe it was being in this place and knowing why we were here and knowing that next week my mom was going into surgery. I started panicking.

  It was scary thinking of what could go wrong and what might. I understood why dad was scared. He was trusting someone else with this wife. Her life was in this man’s hands. His life was in this man’s hands.

  “How many of these have you done?” I asked again.

  Dr. Cage’s reassuring eyes found mine. “Many.”

  “So you’re confident?” My stare flickered from my mom to the doctor.

  “I am. Your mother is healthy and strong. I’m more confident that she will pull through better than I was with my own wife.”

  Though I never wanted anyone to go through this, it was reassuring he had treated someone close to him and she survived.

  Mom picked up the photograph of him and his wife. “How’s Beth doing?”

  Of course Mom knew her name.

  The doctor looked at the photograph and smiled sincerely. “Very well. Just finished her first marathon last weekend.”

  It was things like this that my dad needed to hear to give him the hope he needed. I think part of him heard cancer and thought it was the end. These days it didn’t mean that it was.

  “So we have you scheduled for June twenty-third?”

  Mom nodded and I noticed the date. The day after my dad’s forty-eighth birthday. I wondered how he felt about that but I knew they’d just be thankful to have this over with, and mom healthy. It’s all any of us wanted.

  The doctor stood. “Well, take it easy and I will see you next Friday, okay?”