When the Elephants Dance

by Tess Uriza Holthe

  We reach the top of the rise just as the Japanese arrive where Palaka fell. We crouch down as an officer orders his troops to set up a post. They mean to block any entrance to the trail, but we have already passed.

  WHEN WE REACH our base camp, I inform the men of my decision to help my family. They look at me with confusion and disappointment.

  “You will kill us with this decision,” Macario says.

  “Why, boss? Have we angered you?” Innocencio shifts uneasily.

  Several of the men are angry. “We should kill you for deserting us.”

  “There will be no such talk,” Macario orders. The veins on his neck protrude from his anger. “Domingo has risked his lives many times for us.”

  “My conscience will not let me rest. I must return.”

  I turn the command over to Macario. No one balks at my selection.

  “Macario, this camp is no longer safe because of Tomas. You must move—”

  “I am in command now,” he says, looking off into the distance. I stifle the urge to insist they move this minute, but I have given over my right. I turn to bid the men farewell, but they will not look at me. They place their hands on their hips and look off to the distance. They speak quietly to one another, and I study their faces. I feel ashamed, but it is like trying to stop a waterfall with your outstretched hand. There is nothing to be done. I tell myself they are better without me, for I am divided.

  Nina waits with her rifle slung across her back.

  “I am sorry, Nina. I cannot live with the thought of leaving them to die in that warehouse. I must try to save them. They are innocents. They are what we fight for. You must stay. It is safer here for you. I have compromised the group. My thinking is unclear. But I promise, whether it is God’s will or not, I will come back to you. I have chosen you, and we will raise Bartoy as our son.”

  “I am coming.” Bartoy steps forward. He holds a pack of dynamite, the very one I saw at Kulaw’s hideout.

  “Me too, boss.” Innocencio steps out of the trees.

  “I have already told you I will come regardless,” Nina tells me. “I sent a runner to tell the Amerikano Holden that if he can spare any help in our direction in our rescue of this warehouse and its civilians, he must do so.”

  I nod and look away quickly. I have divided the group. “Then let us go to finish this one last thing.”

  AFTER ONE HOUR the sound of rifle fire opens up above us at our base camp. I stop and look stunned toward our camp. Two large explosions rock the ground even at our distance. We do not have that type of artillery. Innocencio and Bartoy gasp in alarm. Nina looks at me and takes a deep breath. Tears fill my eyes. I think of Macario and my men. I see their faces, and I picture them fighting with no hope of living through it.

  “Our camp has been raided! The Japanese have found us. What has Tomas done?” Nina asks.

  I stop to stare at the dark plumes of smoke. “The same thing I have done. We have let our concern for our families rule our thinking. I have led them all to the slaughter.”

  She reaches out a hand and places it on my shoulder. “Then we must go to Manila to save those who still live,” she says.

  WE RUSH ALL night without break and reach Manila at dawn. There is chaos, fighting everywhere. The four of us take cover on a hillside overlooking the warehouse. The ground shakes at various intervals, and bombers fly overhead, wave after wave. The sound of battle is deafening. I stay low, and soon our runner, Gregorio, comes out. The warehouse is not heavily fortified on the outside, but I see that there are many jeeps. Their commander has arrived. I send a prayer that all are still safe.

  “What is the situation?”

  Gregorio shakes his head sadly. “Sir, they have taken the men out in groups and shot them in the fields, there—” He points. “I could not tell at this distance if they were any of your people.”

  “We will set free those who are left. Their general has arrived?”

  “Yes, did you see the jeeps?”

  I nod. “Are there many of them?”

  “No, I have counted ten. There were more, but they have driven away to battle the Amerikanos.”

  “Only ten? We can take care of ten.”

  “They have machine guns, sir.”

  “We have dynamite,” Innocencio tells him.

  “Wonderful, but how to use it without hurting the others?” Gregorio asks.

  “We set off two here, and here—” I point to one end of the warehouse. “I have been inside, as have Nina and Bartoy. That is nothing more than a courtyard. It will kill but a few. Then all should come out there—” I point to the east end.

  “There are Japanese snipers everywhere. They are like flies. I cannot keep track of them. There was one there on that rooftop earlier, and one below, there, do you see him now? But the one on top, I have not heard from him for the rest of the afternoon. I do not know if he is dead, or if he only waits. How will we lay the dynamite?”

  “I will lay it myself,” I tell him.

  “I can help,” Bartoy volunteers.

  I look at him for a long moment. I cannot let my worry get in the way. Once you begin to worry, you are finished. “Good,” I tell him.

  “We will lay it, then hurry back here. Simple enough?” I ask Bartoy.

  “Very simple,” he answers as if he thought up the plan himself.

  “Innocencio, watch that sniper. He may give us trouble.”

  “He will be a dead man, sir,” Inno says.

  “Is everyone ready? They may come out shooting.”

  “We will be ready.” Nina nods, checking her sights and setting her chin. I feel a pain and pride in my heart just to look at her. We are the same, she and I. And when this is over, the four of us, me, the boy, Nina, and Innocencio, we will find a farm or a business together. We will remember the danger over a glass of beer and talk of it for many years after. When all this is over, Lorna can take our children and return to her family, and they will take her in and raise our son and daughter in wealth, and it will be as if I never existed. All will be taken care of.

  Bartoy and I descend carefully, and I check the rooftops for Japanese snipers. We run unharmed to the building. We get as close as we can, when suddenly three dogs begin to bark and a Japanese soldier walks out from the west end of the building. He takes aim and I shoot him. From the other end, the doors open and soldiers rush out. “Light it now,” I tell Bartoy.

  The boy lights the dynamite and throws it in the direction of the soldiers. I take the other and do the same. It is the wrong end, but there is no time to think. We rush to the hillside for cover, and Innocencio, Nina, and Gregorio fire down at them to cover us. There is a great explosion, and I stumble as I run. We make it to the middle of the hill when Bartoy begins to slow. I see that his ankle is injured. I grab his arm and we hurry up the hillside.

  We hide for cover, and Nina lets out a cry. “It is not his ankle that bleeds, the wound is in his hip.” The boy pales, and I see that he is in a bad way. The ground soaks immediately.

  “It is bad. The bleeding will not stop.” Nina curses and turns to fire on the Japanese soldiers as they hide behind their jeeps.

  I grasp Bartoy’s hand and tell him that I am here. He tries to smile; his breathing is labored. “It is not bad. Just press here,” I tell him. His eyes fade quickly and I am thankful. “Papa,” he whispers, “is it bad?”

  I cannot answer. The blood on his teeth puts me in a daze. My throat will not swallow at the sight of him. I do not see the young executioner that the others fear. I see only a boy without a father. I tell him, “I am here. Papa is here, son. Go to sleep.”

  “Papa, can I join you now? Why did you leave me?”

  I feel it hard in my chest, yet there is no time to feel. I had pictured him on the farm, back in school, as a grown man, later with a young wife. Stop this, think only of the battle now. I try, but my hand will not let go of his smaller one.

  “Bartoy, think of the farm. What was it you wanted? Coconut trees?
”

  “Yes.” He tries valiantly to smile. “I will plant the first one.” He lets out a ragged breath, and then his eyes stare blankly.

  My mouth falls open. “Bartoy, tell me again what kind of trees. Bartolomew,” I say sternly. He usually snaps to attention when I use that tone. I grab him by the shirt. “I have not spent enough time with you. I should have found the time to talk. Even if it meant just walking beside you. You must have been so lonely all those times.” I sob. “He is just a boy!” I shout.

  “Domingo,” Nina calls out.

  I look at her without seeing.

  “Help me!” she shouts, and I turn to join in the shooting.

  I stumble up to help her. There is still Nina; with Nina there is still much to live for. We shall name our firstborn Bartolomew. And it will be just as though he never left. Too bad about the boy, he was a good boy. I would have liked to see him leading a carabao on the farm. I would have liked to take him fishing. He will join his family now. Do not be stupid. You felt strongly for this boy. Allow yourself to feel a little of the sadness, you can only bury so much. Now is not the time, I think, shaking myself.

  We have killed six Japanese that I have counted. But there are more than the number Gregorio gave.

  “I counted only ten,” Gregorio repeats.

  I cannot keep myself from turning to Bartoy’s body. There is movement to my left, and I see a Japanese soldier crouched in the high grass, like a wildcat waiting to pounce. We raise our guns at the same time. A shot comes from Nina’s gun and the man falls.

  A soldier runs up to our hill with a grenade. He shouts something, then Innocencio takes him down. The explosive shatters in the dirt. A shot comes from the left again; the man Nina has shot has returned fire on her. She is lying on the ground, breathing in short gasps.

  “No!” I scream. I raise my rifle and finish the man. I run to Nina and take her hand. She struggles to focus. Her proud chin is dark with blood. I taste the salt on my lips from my tears. “Nina,” I cry. Her eyes roll upward, and she struggles to keep them on me. I bite my lip and hold her gaze.

  “Boss, boss,” Innocencio calls out, “I need your help.”

  I have to let go of her hand. But she is not yet dead. I have to let go. Let it go. Do it now. There are four more Japanese climbing our hill. It is as if they want to die. The Amerikanos must be winning. I take one down. Gregorio has been shot in the arm and can barely raise his rifle. I cannot see through my tears. I cannot keep from crying.

  Innocencio gives a curse, and I see two soldiers coming from his right and two more in front. He takes three down, the last shoots him through the arm, and then he is down. The soldier jumps on Inno with a knife, and I shoot him. I am paralyzed without Innocencio. The expert marksman down. It cannot be. Such a simple soul. If only we had stayed in the mountains. If only I had stayed here. I reach again for Nina’s hand, and she looks at me quietly, calmly. Her face grimaces as she tries to move.

  “This is to be our last fight together.” She chokes horribly.

  “Be still, Nina.”

  “Finish me, help the others. The warehouse,” she begs.

  “I will not leave you.”

  “Do not let our efforts be in vain. Please, Domingo.” Her words are slurred.

  I stare at her in horror. “Do not ask me to do that. I cannot!” I shout. “Get up. I will put you behind the tree. We will take you to a doctor. You must help me. Nina, we are to have a life together, remember? Do not leave me!” I try to pick her up. “I do not want to be without you. I will die!” I hear my voice like a child’s. “Please stay.”

  She stares at me, her breathing just gasps of breath now. She cannot even answer. Only the small pressure of her fingers on my hand tells me she is still holding on. I feel for my pistol and put my fingers to my eyes. I cannot do it. But I know I must. I grit my teeth, and my hands shake horribly.

  “Forgive me, Nina.” I close my hand slowly around my pistol and put it to her head. She closes her beautiful eyes. I look to the heavens, pull the trigger, and scream. I sob into her chest for a long time, oblivious to the sound of Innocencio’s cry for help. I don’t know how long I stay that way. For a while I struggle not to bring the pistol to my own head. Then slowly I remember her plea. It is as if she is still near, watching over me. Help the others. I kiss her hand, then drop it without looking back and run to Innocencio. He lies on his back and tries to raise his head when I approach. His chest is soaked with blood. He sees my gun and nods. “Do it, sir.”

  I am numb now. I cannot feel. My head feels submerged in water. Sounds reach my ears distorted. How has it come to this? When I only intended to help the others. My hand reaches out and I touch his shoulder. He is still alive. My mind screams, There may be hope for him yet! He is delirious. He thinks he is dying, but perhaps he is not. Maybe Nina was delirious. Maybe you could have saved her! Oh God, you killed her! Perhaps you can save him still. You’ve killed them all!

  “What have I done?” I shout.

  Innocencio reaches out and touches my hand. “Sir, please. Not your fault. Do not want to bleed. Do not want … slow death.”

  “Yes, Inno,” I choke, and bring the gun to his head. I close my eyes and fire. I hear my own ragged sobs. I have killed my people. I turn to Gregorio to see how he fares and perhaps to ask for forgiveness. He has witnessed the killings. He looks at my gun with terror, and in a panic he runs up the hillside, fearing for his life.

  I have led these good people to the slaughter with my indecision. Is my coming too late? Will it be the same for those inside?

  part 4

  A L E J A N D R O

  K A R A N G A L A N

  ~ THE BACK DOORS TO THE WAREHOUSE open with a kick from the Japanese boots. The double doors bang loudly against the wall. Everyone is silent. Something is happening outside the building. The soldiers have been running frantically in and out. Two soldiers appear, holding a body. We crane our necks to see whom they bring.

  “Alejandro, make room,” Mama tells me.

  We watch as the Japanese bring out Feliciano. They hold him by the armpits, with his feet dragging on the floor. They have kept him in the back room for the entire night. It was hard to pretend that nothing was happening. We could hear his screams the entire time. There would be short moments of silence, as if he fell unconscious, and then the screaming again.

  “Feliciano,” Ate Isabelle cries out.

  The soldiers twist their lips in disgust. “Now he will remember whose side he is on.” The soldiers throw Feliciano our way, and Papa and Roman catch him before he falls. His head falls back and his eyes roll upward. His arms fall around him like a puppet’s. They have taken off his shirt, and his chest is soaked with blood. Aling Anna is sobbing openly. Feliciano has dark bruises all along his face. His eyes cannot open from the swelling. He tries to lift his hands to his face, but I see that his fingers have been crushed. They bend in strange directions.

  Isabelle searches his body frantically for his wounds. “They have carved their flag on his body!” she screams. “Animals!” she shouts to the soldiers. They watch my sister with disinterest. Mama tries to hold Isabelle back, but she twists and turns. I crane my neck to see. There are deep cuts on his chest, his belly, and his back. They have carved the Japanese rising sun on his body in three places.

  “Stop it,” Mama says. She shakes Isabelle. “Be thankful he is alive. We will survive this. The Amerikanos are winning.”

  A man seated next to us raises his gaze. His eyes are weak colored, not the brown I see beneath the film. He breathes deeply and shakes his head. To Mama he says, “The Amerikanos are winning, yes, but the Japanese refuse to let go. They are ready to die with us. They refuse to leave the Amerikanos anything.” The man shudders. “Outside, the Japanese are making a suicide stand. They believe it an honor to die.” He points to the doors. “Outside they are executing the citizens. We will be next.”

  Aling Anna shakes her head. “What good would it do them to harm us? Yo
u have wrong information. Do not frighten the children.”

  The man looks at Aling Anna sadly. “Wipe the sleep from your eyes. They are killing us. I do not know why they keep us alive. I only know their intentions cannot be good.” He breathes heavily and closes his eyes. I want to ask him a question, but Mama shakes her head at me.

  The sounds of shelling rock the warehouse like an earthquake. The Japanese soldiers look at one another and talk quickly among themselves. Most of the Japanese have left for the fighting outside.

  “He is right,” Papa says. “The Amerikanos are winning. But they do not know we are inside; they are bombing our warehouse. We must escape this death trap.”

  “My God …” Mama clasps a hand to her chest. She and my sister hold hands, while Isabelle cradles Feliciano’s head in her lap.

  We look around the room to our only outlets. The three doors are guarded; two soldiers stand before each door. They watch us with stone faces, holding their bayonets before them, unmoved by the shells that rock closer and closer to our warehouse.

  “Why have they locked us in?” Mama asks.

  Roman stands and places his hands on his hips. “We must do something now. There are only two guards per door. Two against our two hundred. We can wrestle the guns from them.”

  “Ridiculous,” Mang Selso sniffs, and crosses his arms. “That man does not know what he speaks of. They will not execute us. The Japanese need us to bargain with the Amerikanos.”

  “Enough,” Tay Fredrico says to his son. “Selso, wake up. We must fight the soldiers. All of us, the women too. Roman is right, our only hope is to escape. Together we can fight them.”

  “I will not be the first to catch a blade in my belly.” Mang Selso shakes his head.

  Tay Fredrico addresses Roman and Mang Pedro. “I am an old man,” he says. “I will be the first to go forward. This door. I select this one. I see the sunlight creeping through the bottom. I want to bathe myself in its color. If it is to be blood red and gold, then so be it.”