FIRST & ANYTHING

by Laura Avery

  “You’re a bad liar.” My tone was clipped, I was still pissed the fuck off. I moved closer to her and put my arm on her shoulder, digging my eyes into hers. “Stay away from him, Hannah, do you understand me?”

  Her mouth fell open and she pushed away from me. “Who do you think you are? I have news for you, just because the whole world bows down to you because you can throw a damn football doesn’t mean I have to!"

  Normally, I would find her outburst amusing but not now, not when I was already on edge enough to throw my fist through a few dozen walls. My father had gotten me riled up enough; I didn’t need to deal with her stubbornness on top of it, too.

  I closed my eyes and forced myself to breath before I leaned down and brushed my lips against the side of her ear gently. “Stay away from him, Hannah, I don’t share,” I roared into her ear with a husky whisper. I backed away from her and shot her a wink. “I’m only going to tell you once.” And then I turned my back on her, leaving her more confused than ever.

  But I didn’t give a fuck. Shit, it was even confusing to me. I just knew I didn’t want Jeff Jonas anywhere near her. He would eat a girl like her for breakfast, lunch, and dinner before leaving her in a broken mess all over the fucking floor.

  Hannah had a lot to learn about men, clearly.

  I was still reeling from the whole scene when I arrived back at the Football house a half hour later. I couldn’t explain why the whole scene had rubbed me the wrong way, the only thing I could figure was that my son of a bitch father had gotten me all riled up and then sent me off to take it out on Hannah.

  “Nate,” Luke said from next to me, concern lacing his features.

  “Don’t,” I said without looking at him. “Just leave it.”

  And that was the cool thing about Luke, unlike the rest of the people who considered themselves close to me, he actually fucking listened. I took the steps upstairs two at a time and slammed the door to my bedroom closed behind me. I should have felt like a scumbag for taking out my daddy issues on Hannah and then Luke but I didn’t, I didn’t feel anything besides fury.

  And if I was being honest I couldn’t remember the last time I hadn’t. Football seemed to be the only time I was free these days. Besides the random moments of relief I got when I was cumming all over some random chick. But even that was growing old. I was starting to feel like all pussy was the same; the top level of excitement and anticipation had been reached a long time ago. Don’t get me wrong, I loved women, and I loved sex. Hell, I loved it a lot. But nothing thrilled me anymore, nothing gave me the kind of high I had been chasing my entire life.

  I stomped over to the other side of the room and yanked my dresser open, starting to dig through my clothes. I just needed to take a shower and regroup, that was all. I was always wound a little tight after a visit from my father. He brought up a time in my life I wished I could forget. A night that had been haunting me for half of my life. Sometimes I didn’t know how I lived with myself, how I played the part of the state hero when all I really had to offer was a fucking joke.

  My fingers caught a hold of something soft and I looked down to find my fingers grasping onto Hannah’s panties from the other night so tight that my knuckles ached. I had almost forgotten about them. Normally, I wanted no memory of the nights I spent with woman. Hell, I wanted them gone just as fast as they came. Literally.

  But something had made me want Hannah’s the other night. She wasn’t easy like the rest of the girls around here I had been with. She hadn’t thrown herself at me, she had looked fucking terrified at the realization of what her body was feeling for me. I pictured the wide-eyed look on her face that night and glanced down at the panties again, turning them over in my hands.

  There was something about her I wanted…

  A victory.

  My cock twitched and instantly started to swell.

  Fuck.

  I slammed the drawer shut and fell back onto my bed, yanking my pants down before I grabbed the lube out of my nightstand and lathered myself up. My hand found my cock right away, wasting no time getting down to business.

  But I wasn’t picturing any of the girls I had fucked long and hard in my past. No, this run was reserved exclusively for the pale girl with the big eyes and creamy thighs. Surprisingly, it wasn’t the done up version of Hannah from the other night I was getting off to, either. It was the makeup-free, flat-haired, sweatpants version from earlier today that kept popping into my mind.

  I kept picturing the look on her face when her eyes went wide as I stroked myself harder and harder. The way she bit down on her bottom lip when I got too close to her. Ugh, the way her hands started to tremble when it was obvious I made her nervous.

  She was so pure. She was so innocent.

  Hannah didn’t carry herself like she had ever been with a man before but if she had it instantly made me want to kill him. I inhaled swiftly as I got closer and closer to the edge, her panties still clung tightly to my nonjerking hand and I grunted heavily before finally letting my load loose all over the place.

  I moaned and then collapsed back onto my pillow.

  Well; that sure got rid of some tension.

  But it was only a few minutes before the same feeling of emptiness crept back into my bones. Because the truth was still there like a pile of bricks in my stomach that could never be digested. It didn’t really matter how much temporary relief Hannah or her panties were able to give me because if she ever found out the truth she would hate me just as much as the rest of the world would.

  Almost as much as I hated myself.

  Chapter Six

  HANNAH

  “I still can’t believe what happened to you the other night,” Rachel said from next to me in the student café. Her face scrunched up into one of pity after she took a long bite of the apple in her hand. “I mean… I would have died.”

  I groaned and took a long sip out of the coffee that was in front of me. “Thanks for reminding me, really.” Rachel had been busy making out with some junior from the basketball team when my humiliation had taken flight the other night. Apparently, she only snapped out of her gaze when she heard the loud gossiping around the room about the spaz who had just thrown her drink on the star of the school.

  Rachel leaned forward, her long red hair hung in curls today around her face. “Oh, hey, I didn’t mean it like that.” She reached across the table and squeezed my hand gently. “Don’t worry about it, Hannah, really. I’m sure no one even remembers it. There’s like a trillion girls on this campus, I’m sure you’re the last one on Nathan Cumming’s radar.”

  I looked down at my hands guiltily. The truth was I hadn’t exactly told Rachel about what happened between Nathan and me yet. It’s not like I didn’t want to, she had been my best friend for years. If I was going to tell anyone it would be here. It just felt like saying it out loud would somehow make it more real.

  Besides, what could I say? I had made out with the campus superstar and then handed my panties over to him within minutes before running away like a five-year-old? I was sure she’d be less than impressed.

  Besides, I hadn’t even heard from Nathan since I saw him in the middle of the quad a few days ago. Since he took my number, scared off one of his teammates, and left me hot and bothered in my most private parts. I hated myself for checking my phone twelve times a day, almost as much as I hated myself for turning his words over in my mind every chance I got.

  Stay away from him.

  I mean it.

  I won't tell you again.

  I don’t share.

  What the heck had he meant?

  His words had confused me, almost as much as the look on his face when he had delivered them. There was a rage there I hadn’t seen before, a hunger and longing. It made me wonder how often he really wore the cocky easygoing mask that covered his face. There was something else under the surface, something dark and lonely. I had only caught it for a second but it was definitely there.

  I shook my head rapidly
. No, Nathan Cummings wasn’t my problem and he should definitely be the last thing on my mind. Clearly, whatever game he was playing was for sport. He didn’t care who I talked to or what I did. I wasn’t his possession, I didn’t belong to him.

  I wasn’t his.

  The thought made my thighs ache.

  “Hey!” Rachel snapped me out of my daze. “I mean it, no one even remembers it!”

  A huge bag dropped down on the table next to me with a thud. “Hey,” a deep voice said from over me as a guy with long legs and black hair slipped his legs into the chair next to me. “You’re the girl who threw a drink on Nathan Cummings the other night, right?”

  I tried not to blush and groaned at Rachel. “You were saying?”

  The guy next to me grinned, showing off a perfect pair of white teeth and heavy dimples. “Hey, I’m not hating on you for it, it was the most hilarious thing I had seen all week. I’m…”

  “We know who you are,” Rachel snapped. “Carl Lopez, freshman point guard from Florida. The only thing more impressive than your stats on the court are the ones you’ve managed to rack up with half the freshman class in such a short amount of time. What can we help you with, hot shot?”

  I tried not to show any type of reaction to Rachel’s outburst. It wasn’t her fault she was on edge. It was mine. Rachel was used to speaking up for me, used to making sure no one messed with me when she was around. I loved her for wanting to protect me since apparently I was too weak to do it myself but sometimes she jumped the gun, creating an issue where there wasn’t one.

  If Carl was offended he didn’t show it, grinning at Rachel instead. “Someone’s been keeping track of me.” He leaned forward and reached his hand across the table, letting it linger in front of her green eyes. “Always happy to meet my fans.”

  She huffed and looked away. “Hardly.”

  I sighed. “I’m Hannah, this is Rachel.”

  “Ah, the girl who put Nathan Cummings in his place has a name.”

  Huh, if he only knew what really went down that night, somehow I doubt he would be as impressed by me as he appeared to be right now. I pulled the hood on my sweatshirt up and tried to shrink in my seat.

  Before I had a chance to say anything he pointed to the stack of books in front of him. “I hate to break it to your hot friend but I’m not here to give you a hard time, I just need help with the English assignment.”

  “The English Assignment?”

  He nodded and grinned. “I got your name.”

  I groaned and threw my head down. Could this day get any worse? The point guard of our school’s basketball team had gotten my name? I hadn’t even known my name was an option!

  Rachel let out a loud laugh next to me and I shot her a death glare. “Well, then,” she grabbed her bottle of water and stood up, still laughing, “I better leave the two of you to it, I would hate to hold you back.”

  “Yeah, thanks,” I mumbled, biting my lip and turning back to look at Carl. “Look…” I trailed off when I realized how close he was to me. His eyes were green up close and his skin was so flawless he should have been in a skin-clearing ad. I cleared my throat and immediately moved an inch back. Only one other man had ever been this close to me before and it was Nathan.

  Nathan. I tried to push him out of my mind. Was I… Oh my God, was I feeling guilty? That was ridiculous. I cringed at the thought and immediately moved toward Carl again.

  Car frowned and leaned forward, pulling my hood back down. “Why are you trying to hide?” He glanced around the large café, taking in the pool of faces and lowering his voice as he moved even closer to me. “Does someone have it out for you around here?”

  I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped my lips loudly. This kid was harmless. “Let me see your release,” I told him. “I’ll sign it as long as you promise not to write anything too humiliating about me.”

  “Like throwing your drink in the face of the most valued asset on our college campus?” His grin was lopsided and cute in a little boy kind of way. I could see why girls would like him but he wasn’t manly enough for me. The thought of this kid making my blood heat up was unlikely. Which is probably why I had no trouble being this close to him.

  If only I could be as cool and collected when a certain quarterback was around.

  “Exactly like that,” I half laughed back at him.

  I was just about to reach for the paper when my phone buzzed under me from an unknown number. I grabbed my phone and slid over the unlock key, bringing the screen fully to light under my fingers.

  Unknown number: Carl Lopez, really? Guys a total douche.

  I was confused for half a second but then my heart started to race in my chest immediately. It had to be Nathan, who else would be texting me from a random number and have the confidence to hate on Carl like that so openly?

  Another text came through in my hand.

  Unknown number: He’s practically on top of you.

  Unknown number: Put some distance there, Hannah.

  My stomach fluttered tighter into my chest as I scanned the large space around us, looking for Nathan. Was he jealous? The idea was ridiculous yet thrilling at the same time. I liked the idea of him not wanting anyone else to have me, the thought that he might claim me made my tenderness ache.

  Unknown number: Now.

  I rolled my eyes and kept looking around me until I finally spotted him. He was sitting on the other side of the café at a large table surrounded by a bunch of other guys from the football team and a bunch of cheerleaders. His eyes were locked on mine and I felt a soft chill run up and down my spine. I forced my gaze next to him where a blonde was so close she was practically sitting on his lap. My eyes immediately narrowed, it was okay for him to sit next to anyone he wanted to but if I so much as looked at another guy I was in the wrong? Hell no.

  I shot him a bright smile and then moved my chair even closer to Carl.

  If he wanted to play, we could play.

  Unknown number: Funny.

  Unknown number: Move away from him, Hannah.

  Unknown number: Or I’ll move him away from you.

  I rolled my eyes in his direction, making sure he saw me. He was totally bluffing, just trying to get under my skin the way he always did. Well, this time it wasn’t going to work. Just because everyone else did what he told them to didn’t mean that I had to. I shot him one last pointed look and then ran my hand over Carl’s arm as I reached for the release at the end of his fingers.

  Carl’s eyes traveled to my arm, probably taken aback by the sudden contact. Hopefully, he didn’t get the wrong idea and totally humiliate me in front of everyone by rejecting me loudly. I wasn’t trying to hook up with him; I was just trying to prove a point.

  I shot him a sheepish grin. “Sorry.”

  “You’re blushing,” Carl pointed out.

  Unknown number: 3.5 seconds. That’s how long it would take me to close the distance between us.

  I shoved my phone into my pocket, deciding it was best to be done with the conversation and turned back to look at the basketball player sitting next to me. “I hate to break it to you but I’m going to be a pretty boring subject line.”

  Carl opened his mouth and started spitting something out at me but I barely heard him. I was too busy watching Nathan out of the corner of my eye. Or, more specifically, Nathan sliding his large body out of his chair and starting to close the distance between the two of us.

  I gaped at him, stunned. He had a look of determination on his face and his eyes were filled with annoyance and anger. Anger? At me? But, no, his aggression was sprung right onto Carl. I looked back and forth between the two of them. Jesus, was Nathan going to hit him?

  I jumped up before I had time to think about it and met him halfway, lunging my arms around one of his huge biceps and pulling him after me into the hallway, leaving a stunned Carl in his wake.

  “Have you lost your mind?” I gaped at him, still clinging to his arm for dear life as I lead him further and fu
rther away from the almost scene back there. I found a random door on the side of the hall and pushed him into it, closing it tightly behind us. “What is wrong with you?”

  Nathan smirked, the anger suddenly gone from his body. “What’s wrong? Don’t want your boyfriend to get his face rearranged?” He let his eyes drift up and down me slowly, taking in my entire body.

  I immediately crossed my arms over my chest. “He’s not my boyfriend and you know it!” I forced myself to look away from him. I hated the way my thoughts seemed to become hazy whenever I was around him.

  “Really? Cause you were giggling like a star-struck teenager.” He moved closer to me. “I didn’t realize that was your type, Hannah, isn’t he a little pretty for you?” He raised his dark eyebrows in surprise.

  I swallowed and scuffed, trying to hide how right he was. I hated the way he seemed to know what I was thinking without me saying it because he was right. Carl was too pretty for me, he wasn’t my type at all. He wasn’t controlling and dangerous like someone else I knew.

  “Maybe I like pretty,” I mumbled.

  He laughed lightly and pushed my hair off my shoulder. “You don’t,” he whispered in my cheek huskily. His fingers moved back and forth over my skin gently.

  I tried to keep my eyes open but they shifted shut anyway. When he was near me it was like my body slipped into another universe. One where I wasn’t in control at all, one where the only thing that existed was him and the hold he had on me. I had never felt such an intense connection with someone in such a short amount of time. My body had never identified with someone like that before.

  He slipped one of his hands down the front of my sweatshirt and slipped it upward so that his hand was resting on my stomach, just above my waistband. I inhaled deeply, trying not to let my breath catch in my throat at the shivers shooting in and out of my thighs.

  His fingers traced small circles across my bare skin. “A boy like him couldn’t handle a girl like you, Hannah.” His other hand crept up to my cheek and pushed a lock of my hair behind my ear, letting it rest on my cheek. “You need a man. Someone who knows just where to touch you.” His fingers drifted down a half an inch. “Someone who knows how to make you scream and moan in ways you never thought possible.” His lips were in my hair, grumbling softly.