Reckless

by Selene Charles

  Opened, sure, maybe Katy was going through her thing now. But unopened, that implied future need.

  Katy’s green eyes studied Flint’s face thoughtfully, as if waiting on some unspoken cue from her.

  What was she supposed to say here?

  I see you wearing a nightgown in my home at five in the morning on a Tuesday. Why? By the way, the house looks totally clean. Thanks. I think.

  “Why do you have tampons in my dad’s bathroom?”

  Katy’s lips parted just slightly.

  That probably wasn’t the best icebreaker, but she hadn’t invited Katy in. So...

  Lashes fluttering, Katy gave a nervous chuckle. “Okay. I guess I thought you’d want to talk about what happened, but if that’s bothering you right now, then you should know—”

  Pinching the bridge of her nose, she held up a hand and sighed. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that. I’m pretty sure I know why they’re here. To be honest, Katy, I’m totally freaking out.”

  Lips stretching into an understanding but grim smile, she nodded. “About what, hon?”

  Blowing out a heavy breath, Flint tried to find words that wouldn’t devolve into a fight down the line. She was angry. Though she wasn’t one hundred percent sure why. She was raw. But again, not really sure why. It was a bad idea to have a conversation right now, and like a chump, she’d never really known when to shut it.

  “About everything. About what I’m going to wear to school. About how far behind in classes I’m gonna be. And... and...” Her voice trembled as a tear rolled out of her eye.

  “Is that it?” Katy asked gently. “You sure there’s not more?”

  More. Of course there was more. Abel was still missing. Her grandmother had told her she was some soulless creature. The school had been blown to smithereens, which meant today she’d be forced to go to a new school in a new district, forced to meet new people...

  But she wasn’t going to spiral again.

  When Mom died, Flint had thought she’d died with her. For months she’d been a robot who got up, went to school, came home, and locked herself away in her room. Then one day she’d taken a look at her drunk father and realized that if she let herself waste away, eventually she’d be no different than him.

  If there was one good thing her mom’s death had taught her, it was that if Flint could survive that, she could survive anything.

  Plastering on a bright smile, she shrugged. “Nope. I’m fine.”

  “Flint, you don’t have to pretend with me. It’s really okay to not be okay. This is a lot and—”

  More than fed up with this conversation, she gave Katy a tight smile. “Look, I can appreciate the fact that you and Dad care. I get that. But I’m telling you I’m fine. And I will be fine. I don’t exactly want to be the new kid all over again, but I’ll get over it.”

  Another knock sounded at her door. “Flint? Katy?” her dad called.

  “Yeah?” Flint asked.

  “Breakfast is ready. Grace told me you’d need a good one, so come on before we have to head out for school.”

  Flint still couldn’t understand why she couldn’t just take the bus, but her father was determined.

  With a reluctant-sounding sigh, Katy stood and made for the door. “I just hope you know”—she paused with her hand on the knob—“that you can trust me.”

  “Trust you? Why didn’t you ever tell me who you really were? I thought you were the queen. Did you know Layla was the queen that day her guard bit me?” She crossed her arms, feeling an irrational surge of anger as she recalled the day Katy had slyly tried to pull Flint aside when she’d been alone in the trailer with her.

  “No.” She shook her head quickly. “I didn’t. But I suspected strongly the queen moved inside the circus. If I’d known, I would have knocked you out to get you out of there.”

  The way she said the words, with a heated vehemence, Flint actually believed her.

  “But you knew about my grandmother, you knew about me, didn’t you?”

  Katy twisted her lips. “Not you. Not that you were special. Grace kept that secret close to the vest. And all things considered, she was smart to do so. As to Grace being your grandmother, of course I knew.”

  Just then, Katy’s eyes darted downward to the tattoo now on Flint’s arm. There was no word of warning, no sound to betray her. Suddenly Katy was digging her fingers into Flint’s bicep, her green eyes blazing with intensity.

  “You’re marked.”

  Feeling naked, and not just because all she wore was a towel, Flint jerked out of Katy’s grip, rubbing her now-tender arm and frowning.

  Katy’s eyes still hadn’t budged an inch, and her fingers were flexing as though she wanted to reach out and grab her again.

  Taking another step back, Flint shook her head. “So what?”

  Finally, Katy looked up at her. “You’re fae.”

  She said it as though she hadn’t known, but she had, which totally confused Flint. “Yeah? And? You already knew that.”

  A visible shudder tore down Katy’s spine as she leaned heavily against the bedroom door. Her breathing had kicked up in intensity too.

  It was kind of starting to weird her out a little.

  “Katy, you should go. I have school and—”

  Katy’s green eyes were hard, cold, and unyielding, and Flint felt suddenly overwhelmed and sick to her stomach.

  “I don’t know what Grace has told you concerning the fae. Fact is, her allegiances have been divided thanks to this fiasco—”

  Flint’s nostrils flared. She might not know her grandmother as well as she’d like, but she resented Katy’s implication. “What are you talking about?” she snapped.

  “Fae don’t bond, Flint. It’s just a fact.”

  She could no longer feel her fingertips, and her ears were ringing. This couldn’t be true. If it were, Grace would have told her. There was no way this was true. “Why would you say that to me? I do bond. I have bonded—”

  Katy waved a dismissive hand. “History always proves itself. Over and over again. What happened to your grandmother wasn’t a one-time deal—it’s happened to many women in many different ages. I may not know much about the fae, but I do know that you’d have to be a heartless creature to do that to someone. And considering fae are soulless, it really shouldn’t come as a shock.”

  Up until this point, Katy hadn’t been her favorite person in the world, but she’d never been nasty either. And this... this was totally nasty.

  “Yeah, well you’re forgetting I’m three-quarters human. I might be soulless, but I feel things. I feel a lot of things, and I would never do that to someone.”

  Katy shook her head, giving Flint an “I dare you to deny the truth” look. “Every time the fae come into our world, that is what happens, that is what they do. You’re more human than most of them, so maybe you won’t hurt everyone around you. Yet. But you’re not done changing. When this is all said and done, you might not even care to know any of us anymore. You’re a black horse, Flint, and it terrifies your father what you might be turning into.”

  Flint shook her head harder, wishing she hadn’t heard any of this. Why was Katy being like this, so cruel? And why would her father tell Katy these things and not Flint herself? The betrayal sliced her heart.

  “I’m not a monster.” She fisted her towel.

  Katy’s lips thinned. “No, you’re just a fae. Nothing matters to you guys, you superior, smug, too-good-for-us fae.”

  Vibrating from her fury, Flint didn’t even trust herself to open her mouth and speak. How dare Katy come in here and talk to her like this? She didn’t know her. Didn’t know Flint, how she cared, how she loved.

  And she did love.

  She loved hard.

  Flint snapped. “Was it all a lie? Do you even care for my father?”

  The anger in Katy’s eyes softened for just a moment. “No, it’s not a lie. What I feel for Frank is very real.”

  Then, turning, she left the ro
om, and Flint couldn’t do anything other than stare at her bedroom wall with sightless eyes, terrified that the woman her father had decided to shack up with might poison his mind and turn her only remaining parent against her.

  She’d survived the death of her mother, and as absent of a father as Frank DeLuca had been at times, he was all she had left.

  ~*~

  Flint stared out the window as the rolling field of corn zoomed past her periphery. Numb inside. She wouldn’t be sure she’d even had breakfast this morning except for the fact that when she licked her lips, she tasted the zing of citrus.

  Her father’s strong fingers gently threaded through hers, lifting her hand off her lap and onto the middle seat between them.

  Thankfully Katy had taken her own car to work this morning. As if the very sight of Flint now offended her, the evil wench had kept her distance.

  “I love you, Flinty,” he said in a voice that sounded thick and gruff.

  Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she gave him a curt nod. Breakfast had been a nightmare to sit through. Katy hadn’t once looked her way, but her venomous words had rung like bells through her head.

  “I’m sorry I haven’t been real—”

  “Dad.” She turned to look at him head-on. “Do I freak you out now or something?”

  “No.” He shook his head and dropped her hand to take a left turn.

  Why were they headed to the circus? She frowned at the familiar gravel path they turned onto. If he kept this up, she was going to be late for her first official day back.

  “To be honest, Flint, it’s hard for me, okay? Knowing that someday you might not love me anymore—”

  “Did Katy tell you that?” she hissed. “Because that will never happen. I’m still me. I don’t know who me is anymore, but I’m still me. Katy had no right telling you these things.”

  His jaw clenched, and the silence stretched thick between them. It wasn’t her intention to make her dad hate Katy. For whatever reason, that woman made him happy, but she refused to let Katy poison her relationship with her father. This couldn’t be true.

  She wouldn’t accept that.

  “Daddy, I love you and I always will.”

  He gave a clipped nod, acknowledging her words.

  More quietly now, she switched subjects. “Why didn’t mom tell us the truth?”

  “I don’t know, Flint. I swear, she never told me any of this. Though now I wish she had, because maybe then I could have prevented any of this from ever happening.”

  She knew he had to be thinking of his desire to join Carnival Diabolique in the first place, of placing her in a situation where her heritage would be forced out of the closet. As much as he loved the circus, she believed with all her heart that he loved her more.

  If he could roll back time, he probably would. He had to be thinking about her pleas not to get involved with Diabolique. Because she was. But she wasn’t sure whether ignorance really was bliss. Knowing hurt, but not knowing seemed unimaginable at this point.

  He swallowed thickly as they rolled past the Carnival Diabolique sign. The gates were thrown wide, and Flint’s brows very nearly touched her hairline as she noticed several people milling about.

  All of them people she recognized.

  The fortune-tellers, a few of the flyers, some walkers, even the ringmaster, Adam, was present. And for once he wasn’t scowling. The one thing all the people walking around had in common was that they were all monsters. Or, as in the case of her father, a human in the know. She scanned the faces for the one she wanted to see most, but Cain was nowhere around and neither were the twins—Seth and Eli—his constant companions.

  Rhiannon stood beside the main circus tent holding a sign that read: Welcome home, Flint!

  She was dressed in her familiar circus attire of a tutu, tights, and spandex. And she wore a smile, but she didn’t look particularly excited, more like relieved.

  Blinking back the tightness in her throat, Flint scanned the fairgrounds. Normally she’d be hard pressed to catch signs of life in this place until at least the sun had set. Her nostrils flared as conflicting scents washed over her.

  Pine. Pizza. Greasy sausage. Sugary cotton candy. Ozone. Spring rains. Warm chocolate. Clean linen. Blood. Absinthe... and the list went on and on.

  Groaning, she pinched her nostrils shut, overwhelmed by the intensity of the smells. Stomach twisting with more than just a case of nerves, she closed her eyes.

  “If this is too soon for you, we can—”

  “Daddy, I just want to go to school. Just take me to school.”

  “This is school, Flinty. You’re”—he cleared his throat—“different. And facts are, your grandmother showed me that allowing you to continue to live in ignorance of everything isn’t an option. I love you, which means”—his jaw worked furiously from side to side as he parked the truck and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel—“I need to let you go.”

  “Daddy.” She grimaced, that had sounded so final. Grabbing his hand, she jerked on it until he took the silent cue to look at her. When he finally did, she scooted into him and wrapped her arms tight around his waist. “I love you too, and you have to believe me when I say I’m not going anywhere.”

  And finally she got the hug she’d desperately needed.

  “Oh God, baby, I’m sorry.” His voice shook with tears.

  “Just don’t shut me out anymore.” She sniffed, knuckling the tears from her own eyes. “Because I’m scared too.”

  Bloodshot eyes stared lovingly into her own, and he gave a jerky nod as his thickly padded thumbs brushed beneath her eyes. “Promise, little monkey.”

  She smiled. Little monkey had been the name he’d first given her at age five when she’d crossed a tightrope suspended ten feet off the ground, with no prior training.

  She’d always been different. Always special. She should have known. Maybe not the particulars, but she should have known that what she could do wasn’t normal.

  By the time they broke apart, she felt ten times lighter.

  Things hadn’t exactly been roses between her and her dad lately, but she was hopeful that maybe, just maybe, they were finally turning the corner.

  With a final kiss on her forehead, her dad waved and hopped out of the truck, heading toward the flyer’s tent with Katy swooping in to catch up with him.

  Just the sight of that woman caused Flint’s blood pressure to rise. She hated Katy. Maybe that wasn’t the PC thing to think, but she didn’t care. Katy was bad for her dad. She couldn’t prove it yet, but she would.

  Flint never noticed her friend creeping up on her until her door was practically torn open, and then soft, girly hands were latching onto her wrists. Rhiannon dragged her out.

  “Oh em gee.” Rhi laughed and choked back a sob, hugging Flint tightly. “I was so worried.”

  Flint rubbed Rhi’s back as the slight kanlungan trembled in her arms. Once, she’d only smelled ash on Rhiannon’s skin, but now it was deeper. Richer. Not ash, but soot mixed with ozone and a smoky hint of burning peat. It was kind of pleasant actually, made her think of a bonfire in the woods.

  Giving an embarrassed-sounding chuckle, Rhiannon finally stepped back, swiping at her tearstained cheeks, which forced Flint to stop thinking about fairy things.

  “You look awful.” The svelte blonde grinned cheekily, but Flint could hear the effort that pitiful joke cost her.

  “Where’s Janet?” Flint asked swiftly, looking around, trying to figure out which trailer she’d been taken into.

  “She’s not good, Flint. Really, no one is. Everything is just sort of screwed up right now.”

  She’d expected that, but she’d hoped otherwise. “Can I see her?”

  “Yeah, in a minute.” Rhiannon’s smile grew broad once more. “It really is good to see you, girl. Last time I saw you, you were passing out on the forest floor and looked about ready to give up the ghost. You look good.” She playfully punched Flint’s left shoulder.

  Flint
spread her arms. “Well, I thought I’d channel some Ja style this morning.”

  Desperate to not be caught dead in the princess attire, Flint had grabbed the only non-pink things she’d been able to find, which just so happened to be a pair of black spandex pants and a white three-quarters-sleeve top with chunky black lettering that read Normal is Boring. And instead of her typical Chucks, she now wore a bright pair of neon-green jogger’s shoes.

  With her flame-red hair caught up in a tight ponytail, she probably resembled a clown, but she hadn’t much cared when she thought she’d be going to a school with kids she hardly knew.

  Now she cared.

  The idea had been to get sent home because of inappropriate attire, however she seriously doubted anyone here would give her clothes a second glance.

  She tugged at her shirt, feeling all sorts of stupid.

  Rhiannon’s lips twitched. “You’ll do.” She slipped an arm around Flint’s shoulder. “If you want to see Janet, I can take you to her first, or we can just head over to the big top now, your choice.”

  The way she said it made Flint think she should probably give Janet some privacy. At least for a little while longer.

  “I guess we can just head to class.” She glanced around, looking for Cain and frowning when she didn’t find him.

  “If you’re looking for Cain, he’s not here right now. He and the boys are out doing another sweep of the woods. They’ll be back later today at some point.”

  Flint nodded, more than a little disappointed. “Okay.” Squeezing her friend’s hand until she looked at her, Flint asked, “How are you?”

  “Better than Janet, though that’s not saying much.” She tucked an ash-blond hank of hair behind her pale ear.

  Their footsteps slowed the closer they got to the tent.

  “Things are so bad now.” Her shell-pink lips tugged down at the edges, and her blue eyes shimmered with pent-up tears. “Adam’s pissed at me.”