“Can I at least get inside first?” I ask, laughing and pushing the plate to the side so I can see.
“Oh, yeah. Right. Come on in, love.” She steps aside to let me in. I set my bag down, slip off my shoes, and turn to the plate she is still half-ass holding in my face.
“Looks really good, Gem. What is it?” And it does, but I can’t make out what it is exactly. Moving towards the table to sit, I grab the plate from her and prepare to eat this foreign meal.
“It’s something I have concocted on my own. No name for it yet. If it’s good I’ll put a label to it, and… I’ll tell you what’s in it.” She winks at me while getting her own plate and sitting across from me at the table.
Taking my first bite, my mouth explodes and in an astounding way. It is delicious! Probably one of the best meals she has made yet, and I am either more hungry than I thought or it’s just that good because I can’t seem to eat fast enough.
Speaking rudely with my mouth full of food I say, “Oh my god, Gem! This shit is amazing! You have to make it for my dad this week.” Gemma winks and continues to eat.
Clearing our plates, we both go back to our rooms and put on comfy clothes and then meet each other back on the couch and sit in silence flipping through channels, waiting for our food induced comas to pass.
“So…” Gemma says, clearly trying to get me talk about my lunch with Wes.
“It was wonderful.”
“You already told me that! Do I have to interrogate you for info? Again?”
“Right,” I say rolling my eyes and turning to face her. “It was fun, informational…”
“Informational? Really, Marlie?” she comments in obvious frustration.
“Would you let me finish?” I laugh and throw one of the couch pillows at her and she dodges it.
She huffs, “Yeah, but you need to be a bit more specific if you don’t want me interrupting you every 2.5 seconds!”
I laugh, “Fine!”
I replay the entire lunch up to the part when he placed his hand on my lower back.
“Did you try to punch him again?” She’s trying not to laugh at the fact that the first time we met and he touched me, I tried to punch him.
“No, actually I didn’t,” I retort.
“Well that’s progress.”
“Shut up.” I quip back. She closes her mouth, locks it, and throws away the key. I finish telling her the whole thing, and I mean the whole thing. Even the part about being turned on when I was leaned up against the wall and him being so close to me.
“Wow. That seems intense. Hell, I’m all hot and bothered just hearing about it.”
I grab the throw pillow I tossed at her earlier and hug it tight. “Yeah, well, nothing can come of it. I like him, a lot, but that doesn’t change the fact that I have a secret life very few know about. I can only be friends with him, Gem, you know that. Besides, I know I am not ready for a relationship. A friendship will have to do.”
“For now,” she adds rolling her eyes at me this time. That’s the same thing Wes said to me.
For now, I think but I know that I might possibly be in for a battle I can’t win. Which, if I am honest with myself, I knew just being friends with the guy was going to be a challenging task from the moment I laid eyes on him.
THE REST OF THE week goes by pretty smoothly, though, I have been more tired than usual. I’m going to chalk it up to the long calls and video chatting I have found myself having with Wes every night this whole week. It’s been amazing really. Wednesday after work he even came over for dinner with Gem and me. He stayed and watched a movie with me too. It would have been with Gemma, but that asshole got tired all of a sudden and slipped out. I knew what she was doing. She was anything but subtle about it. We both sat on the couch, though a safe distance away from each other. He was respectful of my wishes and made me trust him a bit more. When he was getting ready to leave, he leaned in to give me a hug, and I awkwardly stuck out my hand and shook his.
That night as I was falling asleep, my mind kept drifting off into thoughts that shouldn’t be allowed. I kept wondering what if I did let him hug me? Would that have been so bad? What would a full touch of his feel like? Then I started to regret my awkward, hand shaking, goodbye. I wished that I wouldn’t be so afraid to be close to men. Men that could hurt me the way I have been hurt before. And then it hit me; I have put Wes in that category - the category of being able to hurt me not just physically, but emotionally. I’m surprisingly okay with that. I have only known him for a few weeks and really got to know him more this week, but hanging with him is a lot easier than I had thought it would be. It’s comfortable. Then a small thought popped into my head. What if I could be with him? As more than just friends? But as quickly as that thought came, I pushed it far away. Hopefully far enough away for it never to appear again. I can’t let my guard down.
I won’t.
Not again.
EIGHT
“YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED?” Gem asks as we load the last of our things in the Armada. It’s 2 a.m. and we’ve both been up since midnight.
“Yep. Just need to lock up and then we can hit the road. Man, am I so excited to see my dad and brother. I can’t believe I was able to keep it a secret from him the whole time!” I ended up telling my brother about our visit because I wanted him to help me surprise my dad. We have it all figured out. We should get there by six this evening arriving at my brother’s house just in time to get ready to meet my dad at the town’s only bar and grill - Daisy’s.
ROLLING INTO MY HOMETOWN and I can’t help the smile stuck on my face right now. I spent the first twelve years of my existence in a small town along the Tippecanoe River. Small town life is great for a visit, but I’m a city girl. I love the fast paced city life. I am a mountain girl. Not a rows and rows of nothing but cornfields and soybean field’s kind of girl. This town has many special memories for me and has a place in my heart. As much as I love Denver, this place is still my childhood home. I come back at least once a year to stay at our family cabin on the river. The same cabin dad lives in now.
Pulling into my brother’s driveway out in the country and about twenty minutes of nothing but back roads outside of town, I put the car in park and get out. Before I even have the door shut, I hear my brother, Michael.
“Well isn’t that a fancy ride for a fancy jewelry maker.” he says walking towards us.
“All the better to run your ass over with,” I quip back at him.
“You’re looking fat sis,” he says, giving me a once over and then bringing me in for the tightest hug I think I ever have had.
“And you’re looking old and uglier than the last time I saw you. Tell me, how are you coping with that face? Still scaring the local children?”
He laughs into my hair, “You know it.”
“Not even here for five minutes and you guys are already at it,” Gemma chimes in, shaking her head.
He lets go of me and grabs Gemma by the waist, bringing her crashing into his chest, then dips her back. “Hello beautiful. I see you couldn’t stay away from me, like always. Tell me, are you ready to settle down and marry me yet?”
Gemma scoffs batting him away, “In your dreams, pal.”
Meanwhile, I think I’m going to puke.
I always thought Gemma and my brother might get together at least once, but Gemma has always insisted she has thought of him only like a brother and nothing else. Even if he is undeniably good looking, she would say.
Gross.
Michael is pretty much the male version of me. He has the same dark curly hair and blue eyes. We both have my mom’s nose, my dad’s ears and eye shape. The only real difference in us is that he is much taller than me and built, where I am shorter and lean. We have always been really close and like Gemma, he knows when something is up, but unlike Gemma, he doesn’t push the issues when I clearly don’t want to talk.
“So… dad still has no clue? He just thinks you want to go out to dinner with him?” I ask.
He nods, “Yep, he has no idea.” He checks his phone, “We only have about an hour. I am going to go get him in about forty-five minutes and bring him to Daisy’s and meet you girls there shortly after.”
I nod and go around to the back of my car to start unloading my things. I’ll be staying at my dad’s, but I want to get ready and freshen up here.
“You guys want a beer? I’ll bring the bags you want in and you can look around and see what I have done with the place since that last time you were here.”
“Sure.” Gem and I both say in unison.
My brother owns his own construction company and has completely gutted his house and renovated it. It looks beautiful with its cabin appeal and rustic man look to it. His house has four bedrooms. Two for guests, one for him and another he turned into an office. He lives out in the country, so he’s sitting on about nine acres of woods.
“Wow, he has changed so much to the house. It looks amazing,” Gemma says coming behind me as I am unpacking a clean outfit.
“Yeah, he sure does have the talent,” I say, looking around the room again.
“You about ready? I want to go walk through the woods before we go meet your dad. Michael just told me he made a nice path that leads down to a creek.”
“Yep, just need to change real quick, then we can go.”
Walking into the bar and grill, I scan the busy Friday evening crowd looking for my dad and brother. I see them almost instantly. My brother is facing me and my dad’s back is towards me. I start walking towards them, but I stop as I get an idea. I look around to see if there are any familiar faces working tonight. Sure enough, Penny, the girl I used to play with before we moved and one of the girls I occasionally drink with when I am back in Indiana, is up at the bar collecting some beers and putting them on a tray. I walk up to her and ask for a favor.
“Hey, what can I get for you?” I ask my dad, wearing Penny’s apron with her a pen and pad in hand.
He’s still looking at the menu when he speaks, “I’ll have the bacon cheeseburger deluxe, please.”
“Sure thing. But are you sure that’s the right choice to be making with your recent health issues sir?” I ask, not believing he hasn’t looked up yet. Gemma is behind me and I can hear her quietly laughing.
“Oh I think I can manage…” my dad begins when he looks up and sees me. For a second I think he has to register that it’s actually me standing there.
“Marlie!” he exclaims, practically knocking his beer over as he stands to give me a hug.
“Hey dad, how are ya?” I can’t help the tears forming in my eyes. God, how I have missed my dad.
“What the heck are you doing here?” he looks behind me and notices Gemma. “And Gemma! What are you two doing here?” he brings Gemma in for a hug with me.
“Surprise!” I squeal.
He looks over at Michael who’s smirking at dad, leaning back in the booth with his arms behind his head in a relaxed way.
“You knew about this?”
Michael shrugs.
“We wanted to surprise you,” I say as we all move to sit down.
“Well it’s the best surprise. I am so happy to see you. Both of you,” he tells us putting his arm around me after we scoot into the booth to sit.
We order our food from the real waitress and get caught up over some beers and good food. Hours seem to pass as we laugh and cheer to my coming home. And my dad, bless him, had everyone we knew stop to say hi to me.
Around eleven, my brother took my dad home. Gem and I stayed to close the bar down, talking with everyone I hadn’t seen in a year. It was nice because not once did I think about what I had to do next month or even Wes, who has been on my mind none stop. Well… that is until I drunk dialed him or more like Gemma drunk dialed him and put the phone to my ear when he answered.
“Hello? Marlie?” He asks, sounding like he’s sleeping. I don’t know what to do so I hang up. As soon as I put my phone down and shoot the most evil glare I can muster up at Gemma, who is laughing her ass off like a mad woman, my phone starts to ring again. I already know who it is, so I get up and quickly walk out of the noisy bar and answer the phone.
“Hellooo,” I sing drunkenly trying to play it cool, as if I hadn’t just hung up on him.
“Marlie? Is that you?” he asks confused, but now sounding more alert.
“Yep, the one and only,” I say playfully.
“Are you okay?”
“Yepperz, I am…” Hiccup
“Perfectly fine… buddy.” Hiccup.
“Are drunk? Where are you?” The concern is evident in his tone.
“Relax, tough guy. I am…” hiccup. “Having fun.”
“Why did you call?” he asks, definitely sounding fully alert and a lot less tired.
“Ahh, I believe it twas you that called me, fri-end. And speaking of friend… friend. I have figured out that we can no longer be fr-iends. You are too good looking to be my friend, with your green eyes and tats!” Shit. I know I am going to regret this in the morning, but right now, I don’t give a damn.
Not one bit.
“Oh really? So what are you saying then?” he asks, joining in on my playfulness.
“I am saying goodbye, Mr. Green eyes and Tats.” I hang up the phone and shut it off as soon as I hear it begin to ring again and throw it into my purse. Fuck, am I definitely going to regret this tomorrow but right now I need to pee and go get Gem so we can head back to dad’s; tomorrow we’ll be spending the day fishing with my dad and brother. I don’t want to be nursing a hangover while doing so.
I WAKE UP WITH a small headache lingering from the drinking the night before but nothing a little Advil won’t cure. I get up, take a quick shower, brush my teeth, get dressed and head downstairs to the kitchen to get some orange juice and an Advil. My dad is already up and sitting at the breakfast nook reading the paper.
“Morning dad,” I tell him as I reach into the cupboard to get what I need.
“Mornin’ sweetie. Did you girls have fun last night after I left? I didn’t hear you come home.”
Oh, if he only knew! “We did.”
I sit down across from him and turn my phone on to check my work email. Alex and Henry are doing the work for us part while Gemma and I are gone, though I told them to only work Monday and Tuesday and to take the rest of the week off. They deserve a break too. I try to make the workplace as equal as possible. Just because I am the boss doesn’t mean I treat them any differently; if Gem and I get to take a little vacation for a week, so do they.
My phone starts vibrating like crazy with incoming texts and voicemails. I know its Wes. I don’t need to look to know that. I quickly turn the ringer to silent. I remember getting drunk and telling him we can no longer be friends. I also remember calling him Green eyes and Tats last night. Why did I say that? I told him he was too good looking also. Fuck, I need to stop drinking and talking to him. But what’s done is done. Of course I didn’t mean it when I said we could no longer be friends, but I am too embarrassed from calling him Green eyes and Tats to answer his text and calls.
Yes, I am a coward.
“So...” my dad starts off casually from behind his paper, “any new men if your life?”
Wonderful. Why I do I feel like this has been a never ending topic in my life lately? My dad knew my ex, Carter, and I never really got the vibe that he liked him much. My mom liked him, though. When I broke up with him my dad didn’t say anything much about it. Just something along the lines of “Well… it wasn’t meant to be, and now you have time to find what is meant to be.” I wasn’t sure what he meant by that and still don’t.
My mom wasn’t around anymore, but I am sure if she had been, she would’ve tried to get me to talk about it. Whenever Carter and I would have it out, she would talk about past break-ups before she had met my father. There were only two since my mom and dad were high school sweethearts since their junior year. But those weren’t the same compared to what I went through, I’m sure. N
ot even in the same realm of first breakups or any breakup.
I refused to talk about it with anyone. No one knows about it or what happened. Well, except Gemma, but she was with me through it all. She… she saved me. Literally.
I take a deep breath, “No, I am not really looking for someone right now dad. I am just too busy with work and all.” I sip on my drink and wait for his reply.
He puts his paper down and looks at me. “Marlie, I am so proud of you and what you have accomplished so far in life, but truth be told, I am a little worried. Love is an amazing thing to have. To feel. I want that for you. I understand you are trying to create a name for yourself with your business, but sometimes I feel like that’s all you are doing. You need to take the time to breathe sweetheart; dating is a part of that. I am not getting any younger, you know.”
This is not the kind of talk I want to have my dad.
“I know dad, I get what you are saying, but really, I am fine with where I am at in my life. Honestly.” Gah! I feel like everyone has been down my throat lately about me being single. If they only knew how deep the cut goes with my past relationship, then they would understand, but I can’t tell them. I can’t. I don’t want to be pitied. I don’t want lectures. I just don’t want them to know.
Even though Gemma knows, she has started to push me into venturing out of my safe zone. So this whole talk with my dad is making me panic, but what’s nice about me, is that I have mastered the art of being un-readable; not showing my true emotions. Except with Wes. He makes all of my emotions run out of control and I don’t like it. I have worked so hard to keep the wall I have built around me rock solid, but walls crack and he has chipped mine.
“Okay Marlie. This old man won’t mention it again. I just wanted to let you know what I have observed. If your mom was around…” he starts, then trails off. Talking about my mom is really difficult for him. It is for me as well, but my dad lost everything when he lost my mom. She took a huge chunk of his heart with her.
Underground Secrets (The Underground #1) Page 10