I place my hand over my dad’s, letting him know that I get what he is trying to say and that I understand he can’t finish.
“I miss her,” he says after a moment.
“I know you do. We all do. I get what you are saying and I’ll take it easy. Make more time for myself, okay?”
He sits back and looks at me. “That’s all I ask for,” he smiles and brings the paper back up to read.
Gemma chooses this time to walk out and greet my dad with a peck on the cheek. “Morning, Ed.”
“Mornin’,” he replies.
Gemma grabs a mug and pours some coffee. She leans on the counter, sipping her coffee that is cupped between both hands and gives me a look that says she was eaves dropping. I want to roll my eyes because I know how she works. I know what she is thinking. She sees this as a sign, where I see it as annoyance.
My dad interrupts the silent conversation Gem and I have going on, “You ladies ready to do some riding and fishing?”
“Of course we are! I can’t wait to catch big fish!” Gemma replies with more excitement then I can understand. She loves coming down here and fishing. For a girl who was raised wanting for nothing and has parents who are so prim and proper, she is so down to earth and doesn’t mind getting dirty one bit. Just like me, except for not having super rich parents of course. We never lived poor, but we never took trips all over the world just because we were bored on a Tuesday either.
“Great! You girls go get ready. I’ll call Michael to come and join us and meet you girls down there in ten minutes?”
“Sounds good.”
The family cabin is nestled right on Tippecanoe, so all we have to do is walk out the back and down a few feet and sit on the chairs and fish.
In my room, I stand at the edge of the bed looking at my phone. I had tossed it on the bed as soon as I walked in. Do I look and see what he said? Do I ignore it? This debate I am having with myself is hard because either I answer it and then have to spend the day going over his text and voicemails, or I ignore them and spend the rest of the day wondering what the hell he said in the texts and voicemail. Neither option seems good.
I choose to get it out of the way and read them.
You can’t just leave me hanging like that Marlie
Call me back
REALLY?
You are the most frustrating woman I have ever met
Fine, call me in the morning
Last thing. Green eyes and Tats, huh? You will have to tell me about that as soon as you pick up your phone, MARLIE EDWARDS! Good night
The last text was sent around 4 a.m., surely he wasn’t waiting for me to reply? Right? No, he wouldn’t have. He would be crazy to have done that. Particularly since I was in bed and passed the hell out by two-thirty. His texts do make me smile and also make me nervous at the same time. I have no idea what I am going to say to him when I decide to not be a chicken shit and finally talk to him. Ha! Maybe in my next life I will, But for now… nope. That shit isn’t going to happen.
NINE
I SPEND THE REST OF THE week with my dad, brother, and Gemma; boating, fishing and riding four-wheelers on the trails Michael has made at his place in the woods. I also have spent the rest of the week ignoring Wes’ calls and texts that have been blowing up my phone. I ended up shutting off my phone by Tuesday because I haven’t known what to say to him. Note to self, don’t talk to Wes after I have consumed large amounts of alcohol; or any at all.
It’s now Saturday and we’ll be leaving tomorrow afternoon, after one last lunch with dad and Michael. Gem and I are taking my dad’s canoe out and are going to enjoy the river off land today. Dad didn’t want to come and said that Gem and I should just enjoy the day to ourselves and I am sure there is really another reason for him not wanting to come and all sums to two words: Cubs baseball. My brother works Saturdays, so he isn’t going to come either.
We are going to put the canoe in downriver because we want to check out the spot where most of the people our age hang and drink beer. We run to the gas station first before we head out on the water. We get beer, water, ice, more beer, and munchies to put in the cooler; we plan on spending the entire day on the water before we have to return to reality back in Denver.
Walking out of the gas station I notice a tall, lean, sexy figure, leaning against my vehicle. I know who it is in an instant. Wes. But my question is… what the hell is he doing here? I stop dead in my tracks and look over at Gemma. I know it had to have been her.
“What the fuck?” I steam.
“Sorry girl, when you didn’t answer him all week, he started blowing my shit up. Besides, he was in Chicago and he’s my friend too. Unless friends isn’t what you guys are?”
I don’t say anything because she’s right. But what the fuck is he doing here?
“Thought so and so when I talked to him, I invited him down to enjoy the day on the river. Figured you wouldn’t mind,” Gemma says to me sweetly.
Oh, I am mad, but I am not really sure at who. Gemma? Me? Or Wes?
“Whatever. You did this on purpose you sneaky little bitch.” I can’t help but laugh at her crazy antics to get me to be with Wes. I know that is what she is aiming for. But man, I feel like I only just cracked the door open and here she is, knocking the door down and shoving me right through it. I know she means well, and her intentions are to help me get over my issues, but damn, this is a lot to handle. I can’t stay mad her, though. At least not today. I am supposed to be happy-go-lucky this week. I am just going to blow it off for now. Besides, even if I don’t want to admit it out loud, I am happy to see him.
Taking a deep breath, I walk over to Wes with a smile on my face. “Hey you.”
He lifts his shades from his face and smiles back. “I hear someone is taking a canoe out today and I’d like to join. I mean, if you’ll accept having Green eyes and Tats aboard that is.”
Oh, good god. He just had to bring that up didn’t he?
“Oh shut up, okay? I was drunk-”
“Adorably drunk,” he interrupts.
“Well, of course, that’s a given smart ass.” I quip back. “Come on then, I need some river, sun, and beer in my life today.”
Gemma and I get in as Wes takes our stuff and puts it in the back. She nudges me in my side as we wait.
“What?” I ask rubbing my side. She may have nudged a little too hard.
“Um… have you looked in the mirror? Girl, you’ve got a smile brighter than the sun on your face right now.”
“Fuck you.”
She laughs and crosses her arms. “You’re welcome.”
Wes hopes in the back seat.
“Where is your truck?” I ask.
“Over there,” he points to the left with a grim look on his face.
I look towards where he was pointing and notice the tiny little yellow electric car and I bust up laughing.
“How did you even fit in that tiny thing?” I ask, trying to picture him getting in to it.
“Don’t ask. It’s a rental since I flew into Chicago. That ‘tiny thing’ was all they had available.”
“It’s cute.”
“It’s ridiculous.”
I start my car and take off. I am glad my dad had decided not to come because I don’t want to have to explain our extra guest and have to answer to all of his inquiries. I have had enough of that lately from everyone.
We spend the first couple of hours paddling around the river. We laugh and joke and start in on the beer. After a while we head towards the spot where a good time usually happens. I can see several kayaks and canoes pulled up on land as we approach. We do the same and Wes grabs the cooler while Gem and I grab the fold out chairs. We walk several feet into the woods and finally reach the clearing where several, no a ton of people are drinking and playing games. It’s like a secret hideout, but for grown-ups and not that big of a secret. At least not for our generation of people.
It’s a huge circle of cleared out trees with a huge fire pit in the center
and old tree stumps as chairs surrounding it. To the left are three kegs and several coolers. To the right, are where the corn hole and beer pong tables are set up. In front of us, at the edge of the circle, are four swings made out of ropes with old logs tied at the ends for the seats. It’s a pretty sweet set up and I can’t wait to play.
As we’re setting our stuff up, some random drunk guy comes and practically tackles me to the ground, being an ass and not paying attention to where he was running. I fall on my butt and Wes is there instantly holding out his hand. I reach up take it and he pulls me up. “Thanks”.
“You’re welcome.”
He looks behind me and yells at the offender, “Watch it next time asshole!”
Still holding Wes’ hand, we stand there and hold each other’s gazes. My breathing starts to pick up because I am freaking out that I am not freaking out like I thought I would be holding his hand. I know it seems juvenile but with my past, it isn’t. It’s crazy to realize how far I have come with knowing Wes for only about a month. He’s slowly breaking down my walls, but it feels so much faster. He squeezes my hand and I can see something that scares me in his eyes. I just don’t know what.
I realize what is going on and drop my hand and step away from him. I walk over to Gem to help her with the chair she is struggling to set up, leaving Wes where he is.
This man gets to me. I can’t have him do that. Not only because of my past, but because I haven’t quite figured him out yet. There is something dark lurking behind those amazing green eyes. I am sure of it. I just need to figure it out.
I look over at Wes just as he is taking his shirt off. Fuck me running. He needs to put that shit back on. For his safety of course. You know ticks and whatnot. His body and tats are sexy as hell though. He has washboard abs and I feel like drooling a little.
Gemma catches me staring. “Man, I am sure all the chicks out here are going to be clawing at him.” she whispers a little too loudly.
“So what? They can have him. We’re just friends remember?” I say still not taking my eyes off him as he sprays himself with bug spray making his body look like it’s damp and glistening. Jesus! Someone put him in a damn box and lock him the fuck up. It can’t possibly be legal for someone to be that good looking.
“And it’s already begun,” Gemma says nudging me.
“What has?”
She takes her hand and waves it around.
Yep, she is right. Everyone, men included, are staring at Wes. There is a small flicker of emotion stirring in me that I want to push back. The green monster, jealousy. I have to let it go. I have to let it go. He is my friend, nothing more. I’ll just brush it off and do my thing. I reach over into the cooler to grab a beer.
“Marlie Edwards! Is that you?” a female voice with fake delight comes from behind me. I know that voice. Emily, my brother’s slutty ex.
I wonder if I don’t move, she’ll leave. But I know that won’t happen. I’m not that lucky. No one is. I turn around and slap on an even faker smile than she has plastered on her shitty face. I have always hated her. My brother was too wrapped up in her to see what a conniving person she was and still is. Finally, he caught her cheating and she still, to this day, denies it. She was always trying to play the “woe is me” card with Michael, and my gullible brother bought it every. Single. Time. I have no room to speak. I have had the same thing happen to me, but ten times worse. Still, this chick is certifiably crazy.
“Yep, it’s me,” I say, barely giving her a glance. My tone is just as fake as the smile I am wearing. For the most part, I wouldn’t normally fake pleasantries with someone I despise, but I know her, she’ll make a scene if I don’t play nice and I don’t want that. Not today at least.
The nut job has the nerve to grab me and hug me. Really?
I definitely don’t reciprocate the affection. She pulls back and looks me up and down. Probably judging every little flaw she thinks I might have. I take a huge drink of beer to help calm my nerves. She’s really trying to test me today. Just drink your beer Marlie, and think of your happy place.
“Oh, how I have missed you. Why haven’t we stayed in contact? We were practically sisters!”
I nearly choke on my beer with her ridiculous claim. “Um… no, Emily, we never were.” Gemma comes to stand right next to me. I’m sure she can feel my level of hate. It has to be beaming from me like a cartoon character.
Emily puts on a pouty face that I want to slap right off. “Oh come on, I know that you have always had a stick up your ass, but you don’t have to be bitter about your brother’s and my breakup.”
Her real face shows up now. Perfect.
“Really? Because as I recall, I have never liked you. And last time I checked, cheating on my brother with half the fucking county doesn’t require my staying touch with you.” I am fuming now. And I haven’t even noticed the crowd that has gathered around us.
“Oh, shit,” I hear Gem remark beside me and she steps back.
“Oh you’re just jealous, Marlie. After all, I heard you couldn’t keep your man. I am sure he left you after realizing what a hot headed bore you are.” She snips back at me, not even fazed at any of this.
Screw this patience thing. I’m not going to let the tart talk to me like that. She hit a tender spot and she’s not getting away with it. I start towards her, but a pair of arms wrap around me before I can grab ahold of her.
“Whoa! What’s going on?” Wes asks, as he keeps hold of my arm.
“This little thunder cunt is going to get her ass kicked, that’s what!” I shout.
Emily completely ignores me and I think that might piss me off even more.
She moves her attention to Wes, “Well, hello there handsome. Who are you?” Emily asks, but Wes ignores her turning me to face him. She stands there for a minute being ignored by everyone and I know that must bother her. She loves attention and bashes anyone who takes it away from her or who doesn’t give it to her. Always been that way. Apparently she can’t stand the silence and decides to say some more to me, “Fine, tell your pussy ass brother I said hello and you,” she points to me, “can fuck off.” And then she starts to walk always.
“Fuck. That.” I move around Wes quicker than he can stop me and go after her. I grab her from behind and slam her down to the ground, knocking the wind out of her and she gasps for air. I move to sit on her, pinning arms to the side and I hold them there with the grip of my thighs. She tries to buck me off, but it’s no use. I start throwing my fist at her perfectly fake face. I get about three good blows in before Wes and Gemma pull me off. I’m kicking and screaming like a mad woman trying to break their holds on me. It doesn’t work. Emily gets up quickly and runs away through the woods, holding her hands to her bloody face. Two people follow her and I try even harder to break free from Gemma and Wes’ grasps.
“Calm down, Marlie. She’s not worth it,” Gemma says gently to me.
She’s right. I close my eyes and begin to take deep breathes to cool my shit and relax my body. It doesn’t take long before I calm down enough not to attack her again. I instantly regret doing what I just did. Who does that? I am twenty-four years old and I just fought like I used to in high school. I should’ve just walked away. It’s not like she knew which button to push to make me explode like that. Even if she deserved it, it shouldn’t have come from me.
“I’m fine. You can let go of me now.”
They both look weary but let go. I walk over to our spot, grab a beer from the cooler and plop down in a chair. Emily has no idea what she was talking about. I would’ve ruined her for the comments about my brother. The fucking comments about Carter though, had me seriously considering murdering the twit.
Gemma and Wes keep their distance and leave me be for the moment. They don’t stray far, but keep far enough away for me to collect my thoughts. After a few minutes Gemma walks off to talk to some people nearby and Wes comes and sits silently by me. We sit in silence for about ten minutes when I break it.
“I’m sorry about all that. I lost my cool. That usually doesn’t happen.” I don’t look at him as I say it.
“It’s fine Marlie. But you have to not do things like that around me,” he says.
“I know. She has just-”
“No, what I mean is, if you want me to remain in the friend zone, you have got to stop doing stuff to turn me on. Not that you even have to do anything to get me turned on. Just hearing you breathe does it for me. But you getting all worked up and in badass mode like you just did, is by far the hottest fucking thing ever,” he rasps, leaning in dangerously close to me and placing his hand on my thigh. I fight so hard not to move it. Or not hard enough.
I don’t know what to say. Most men wouldn’t want to deal with my crazy and he doesn’t even know the half of it. And yet, he seems to welcome it. And, what he just said to me practically has me panting and wanting him. What if I just let go? Not fight it anymore? Looking at his lips. His luscious lips, that have haunted my dreams since the day I met him, are begging for mine to connect with his.
He must see the heat in my eyes as he reaches behind and grabs the back of my neck with his hand to bring me in closer. This is it, I am going to kiss this man and I don’t know what will become of it. But right now, I don’t care.
Just before our lips touch, a loud noise comes from in front of us and I jump up, knocked from the trance I was just in. Wes looks over in the direction of the crash. Someone has started the fire and threw and bunch of wood onto the pile making it loud and echo throughout the area.
Wes sighs and turns back towards me, but before he can say or do anything, panic sets in and I walk hastily towards Gemma. I am a coward. I know this. I can’t believe I came so close to kissing him. Whether or not I want him more than as a just friend, which it’s pretty clear by now that I do, I can’t do it. It would be messy and complicated, when my life is already a giant heap of chaos and I don’t need to add to it. But god, the way he makes me feel, it’s like nothing I have ever felt before.
Underground Secrets (The Underground #1) Page 11