Underground Secrets (The Underground #1)

by S. A. Sproston

  SIXTEEN

  TODAY IS MY TWENTY-FIFTH BIRTHDAY AND I don’t feel much like celebrating. I have thrown myself back into work harder than ever. I put a hold on the Chicago visit for now. The timing isn’t right. I can’t be focused on that when my life feels like it’s falling apart. Not to mention, I know I’ll be facing Carter, his uncle, and everything else that comes with them next month, or before. I am really starting to hate my life. I have been doing the only thing to keep my wondering thoughts at bay; I have been working my ass off and only focusing on that. It’s just like it was before Gemma’s birthday when I had decided to take it easy and work a little less. But now that it’s my birthday, Gemma insists on me getting out, even for a little bit. I don’t want to. She had all these plans for us to go and stay in a cabin in Idaho Springs and party, but since my dad died, the letters from Carter and Wes not being around, I don’t feel like doing shit. However, with Gemma’s persistence and telling me it would be good for me to get out, I gave in.

  So here we are, checking out this new bar that has opened up within the last couple of weeks. She’s perky and me… not so much. The only plus side to us going out to this bar is the booze. I’ll just drink my little heart out and love every numbing second of it. It’s a Thursday so I had hoped that it wouldn’t be busy, but I was wrong. It’s not as packed as Evo usually is, but it has enough people to make me want to curl up and hide.

  Growing up I had never really been much of a social person. I have out grown it somewhat, but now, I am back to being Antisocial Annie. I don’t want to deal with people.

  “Ooh, this place looks decent,” Gemma says, scanning the new bar.

  I agree and we find a table. I guess tonight is karaoke night. Lucky me. I’m sure Gemma will try and get me to sing too.

  After about an hour of being here and listening Gem ramble on about practically anything to try and get my spirits up, my heart starts to skip when I look up from my drink that I have been sipping heavily since I got it a few minutes ago, and see Wes at the bar. I don’t know what to do, but stare and wish I wasn’t here at this exact moment, or at all. Gemma sees him too and she goes to raise her hand to wave him over, but stops when she and I both notice he is not alone.

  Perfect. Good for him.

  I carefully watch as a tall, almost too skinny blonde, slides right up next to him, putting her arm around his waist then slowly removing it and inches her hand from his kneecap to his… uh yeah, his dick. I almost choke on my drink seeing that. Her platinum blonde hair is pin straight and reaches almost all the way to her ass. She is in a skin tight, florescent green dress. Something I’m positive she found in the kids section, since her tits look like they are one sneeze away from popping out and greeting the world; which, I’m sure are fake. Even from this distance they look rock solid.

  I watch as he leans in closer to her, which by the way, I don’t know how it’s possible, she’s practically dry humping him as it is. He whispers something in her ear and she giggles relentlessly at whatever it is he had just said.

  Slut.

  I look down at my purse and begin to dig into it.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Looking for my shades.” Bingo!

  “Why? We’re in bar and its dark outside.”

  “Because all of a sudden, it became bright as hell in here.”

  Just as I am about to place them on my face, Gemma knocks them out of my hand, causing them to land on the table and clink against my glass. “Oh, you stop it, Marlie!” she yells at me, but her voice is filled with laughter.

  I smirk at her. “What? I can’t help it if her dress is probably causing me permanent blindness. It’s for my safety really.”

  She laughs at me some more and not so discretely coughs out a, “Jealous,” at me.

  “I am not jealous of that,” I tell her referring to blondie.

  “Whatever you say, sweet cheeks.”

  I ignore her comment and look at them, still seeing the same thing. I want to throw up.

  I close my eyes and try to breathe. This isn’t happening. Here he is, the only guy since Carter, that has made me feel something, and I’ve gone and screwed it all up with my fuckedupness. Now I get to sit and witness him and Blondie pretty much screw on the barstool right in front of me.

  I open my eyes back up and it’s in that moment he looks over and sees me. Shit! I try to avoid eye contact, but it’s no use. He gives me that dark look that he is so good at. The one that says, ‘I’m bad and I’ll take you any way I want’, then has the nerve to smirk and look away and whisper something else into Blondie’s ear. She gets up and walks towards the bathrooms. He finishes his drink and orders another. I watch his every movement even as he gets up and walks over towards us.

  I can tell Gemma is panicking because her voice is a bit shaky when she asks if I want to leave.

  “Hell yes, I want to leave!” We start to grab our things quickly before Wes makes it over to our table, but it’s too late, he has already approached us wearing that damn smile he is always wearing. The same smile I would really like to smack off his face at this point. We both sit back down and wait out the pleasantries until we can leave.

  “Hello, Gemma, Marlie. What brings you lovely ladies out tonight?” He directs the question to both of us, but he only looks at me when he asks it.

  Hello, Asshole, I want to say, but don’t. I just stare at him trying to form other words I want to say. Something along the lines of, “You’re so fucking sexy, I could eat you.” and “Fuck off.”

  Gemma speaks while I’m still trying calm my shit. I’ve missed him. There, I’ve acknowledged it. “Oh, just out having a few drinks celebrating Marlie’s twenty-fifth birthday, but we were just getting ready to leave.”

  “Happy birthday, Marlie.”

  I am able to mutter the words, “Thank you.” but that’s it. Gemma continues the conversation for me.

  “What are you doing here, Wes? On a date?” Gemma asks with a hint of bitch in her tone.

  I am happy that she is being defensive on my behalf, but I shouldn’t be upset and neither should she. I mean, I am the one that ended it before it even started. Why should I expect him hold out for me? All it’ll do is make him miserable to wait for me to not be so screwed in the head. Sometimes I wish I would have told him why, but I know it was to keep him safe from any possible harm. So if he wants to move on with Blondie, then he should. But, it won’t stop me from not liking it.

  At all.

  Wes laughs lightly at Gemma’s questions. “Nope, just drinks with a friend.”

  I snort at his answer and Wes raises his brows at me. He begins to say something to me, but Gemma speaks before he can.

  “I see. So do all your friends rub your dick when you’re out having drinks? Or is it just the special ones?”

  Wes is mid drink and damn near chokes on it as she asks the question. I got to give it to Gemma; she can be bitter and straight forward at times. Out goes happy-go-lucky Gemma tonight and in comes defensive Gemma. She’s only doing this because she knows how much I was starting to like him and he just up and left. It hurt me, but I can’t blame him. For all he knows, I was being a dick tease.

  He looks back towards the bar, as do I and we see his friend leaning over the bar counter giving the bartender a good view of her tits. He looks back at me and not Gemma and tries to explain, “Nah, she’s just a little too touchy feely.”

  “Ah, I see.” Gemma looks over at me and says sarcastically, “Marlie, I must be missing out. Why aren’t you touchy feely with me?”

  I try to fight back the laughter tickling the back of my throat and it’s easy to do because Blondie walks up and smack Wes’ ass.

  “Wesley, what’s keeping you?” Blondie purrs in a peppy voice.

  This is almost too comical to watch. Wes is a confident man any day of the week, but right now, he looks embarrassed. He turns to Blondie, “These are my friends Marlie and Gemma. Today is Marlie’s birthday.”

  “
Oh goody! I love birthdays!” she extends her hand to mine and I accept it.

  Great, even her handshake is perfect.

  “Hello,” I say, in a not so enthusiastic tone. She doesn’t even notice.

  “Hi, I’m Kandi. Kandi with a K,” she says like it’s something special.

  I roll my eyes and she still doesn’t seem to notice my rudeness. Oh fantastic, she’s dumb. This should be interesting. I am instantly happier.

  “Hey there Kandi with a K. Why don’t you guys and join us for drinks?” Yeah, I’m going to have some fun.

  They both sit and we start chatting. I keep eye contact with Kandi and ignore Wes completely. “What do you do for a living?” I ask, not the least bit expecting her to be a doctor.

  She perks right up at the question, “An exotic dancer!” she exclaims with a giggle.

  “Of course you are,” I say with a big, fat, wide, smile on my face.

  “So, is Kandi your given name or your stage name then?”

  She looks at me momentarily confused, like she doesn’t understand the question. So I re-ask it in a simpler way. “Did your parents name you Kandi with a K? Or is that the name you use when you dance?”

  She understands the question this time around. “Oh, neither actually. My real name is Amber, but as a child my parents nicknamed me Candy because of my obsession with sweets. It stuck as I got older, but I wanted to be unique so I changed it to a K instead of a C and an I instead of a Y.”

  “Wow! How fascinating!” I tell her enthusiastically. I look over at Gemma who seems to be really invested in our conversation. I look over at Wes and he’s staring at me smirking. Of course he is- motherfucker is always smirking at me.

  She giggles at my fake excitement and I almost feel bad for this girl. She is clueless. She turns her attention back to Wes and skims her index along the ridge of his ear. “I still have an obsession with sweets don’t I Wesley?”

  I watch as she moves in closer to Wes and licks his ear in the same fashion she did with her finger. I want to roll my eyes, gag, and rip her arm off and declare him mine all at the same time. But I can’t, because he isn’t mine. I try to keep my face as passive as I can but it doesn’t seem to work. Gemma grabs my clenched hand from beneath the table and removes the napkin I have been strangling. She isn’t the only one who appears to notice that Kandi’s ear fucking Wes with her tongue is bothering me. Wes sees it too. His smile becomes brighter, while staring right into my eyes and I watch as he grabs Kandi’s hand and brings it below the table, his eyes never leaving mine. I’m no genius, but I can assume that he didn’t place it on her knee. It’s obvious he is enjoying making me uncomfortable. It’s really pissing me off.

  Kandi giggles some more and makes a small moan while her arm jerks up and down a little from below the table.

  “Good lord,” Gemma mumbles to me.

  Wes, on the other hand, is drinking his beer and acting like shit isn’t happening.

  I. Cant. Take. It.

  I get up and walk out, leaving Gemma and the two love birds behind. I get out the front door and lean against the building. I close my eyes and try to calm myself. I’m jealous. I can’t believe I am actually jealous of the fact that Kandi can put her hands all over him without any worries in the world. Me? I can’t even touch him without the fear of something horrific happening to him. It’s so messed up. I’m so messed up.

  I hear the door swing open and I already know it’s him without having to open my eyes.

  “What the hell do you want?” I open up my eyes and glare at him.

  “You left abruptly.”

  I left abruptly? This guy. This incredibly, mouth-watering, man, really knows how to piss me off. “Why do you care? Don’t you have a hand-job to get back to?”

  “I do care, Marlie. It’s you who seems to not care. You push me away every chance you get.”

  “Because I have to Wes! You don’t understand!” I am all worked up now and I’m screaming at him on the sidewalk in front of this bar. He grabs my arm and pulls me over to the alley between the bar and another building. His tone is low and I can tell he is using effort not to lose it.

  “You’re right, Marlie, I don’t understand, because you won’t fucking tell me.”

  “Fuck you!” I spit. He grinds his teeth and I don’t think I have ever seen him this mad before, or mad at all. It’s a bit scary and sexy. How can I want to punch and kiss him at the same time? Simple, I’m crazy.

  “If you would just tell me what is going on with you, I promise I can help.” He inches closer to me and he is now mere inches from my face and I can feel his hot breathe just below my neckline.

  “I can’t. You can’t. I told you when we first met that I have a fucked up past and fucked up present. You don’t want to be involved with me.”

  He steps back and brings his arms to the back of his neck. He paces a little bit and then turns back towards me. “It’s too god damn late, Marlie. I’m already involved.”

  “Really? Because I don’t think not speaking to me for fucking weeks justifies that!”

  He scrubs his face with his hands and counts to three. “Damn it, Marlie. I didn’t just leave and forget about you. I needed to calm down. I have feelings for you. Real fucking feelings and it scares the hell out of me. I don’t date woman. I fuck them. My actually wanting to be with you and take my time with you, freaks me the fuck out, okay?”

  “Feelings for me, huh? Is bringing that girl here tonight showing me you have feelings for me?” I can’t believe I’m even giving him a reaction about it. “Or how about when you were purposely throwing her in my face? Was that showing your feelings for me?”

  He laughs. He actually laughs at me.

  I slap him across the face.

  I watch as he his head whips to the side and a red handprint quickly forms on his cheek. I clench my fist to try and help alleviate my stinging palm, but it doesn’t help much. He doesn’t look back at me and I take this moment to walk away, but I don’t get very far. I never do with him. He grabs my arms and pushes me against the wall gently and holds me there. I try to push him off, but his hold is too strong.

  “Stop struggling and listen to me for one goddamn minute!”

  I stop moving a look at him with as much hate as I can muster up. “Let go of me, Wes. Nothing you say will change my mind. I hate you.”

  He looks pained the second those words hit his ears and I instantly regret the three words I just carelessly spit out at his face. I begin to apologize, but he starts to talk. “It was all for show. I did it on purpose.”

  “What?”

  “I was down this way when I saw you and Gemma walk into the bar earlier.”

  My face falls. “And...”

  “And I called up Kandi and asked her to join me. I knew how flirtatious she is and I asked her to come so I could try and get a reaction out of you.”

  “You’re an asshole.” I am still pissed. Who the hell does that?

  Regret plasters Wes’ face. “I know and I am so sorry, Marlie. I hurt you and I never wanted to do that. But damn it, I just wanted to make you feel for me like I do you.”

  His words echo in my head and I’m left speechless. I just stare at him, trying to find words. I can’t.

  He lets go of me and backs up, turning around so his back is too me. “I just wish you would tell me. Tell me why you won’t get close to me. Why you can’t be with me.”

  Shit.

  I don’t know what to do. Should I tell him? No, I can’t. But I want to so damn badly.

  After a few silent moments, I get the courage to say what he has been wanting me to tell him. I’m going to tell him why men scare me. Why I am so afraid to make that step of more than friends. I have been put through hell and back and here I have this man who I trust and have feelings for as well, telling me he feels for me too.

  So fuck it, if he wants to go down after I have warned him, then so be it. I am going to be selfish and I’m going to let him in.

  SEV
ENTEEN

  Wes

  I CAN’T BELIEVE I AM THROWING myself out there for her and she has said nothing. My back is facing her when she finally does speak. She’s starts to talk about the one thing I have been asking to know about since the day I met her.

  “When I was seventeen, I met a boy named Carter. He was the bad boy that everyone desired and was scared of at the same time. Everyone was right to feel that way. He wasn’t someone you took home to meet your parents. He was opposite in fact.”

  She pauses and I hear her take a slow, shaky breath. I go to turn around to meet her eyes, but she stops me mid turn. “No. I can’t do this with you looking at me.” So I turn back around and stay as still as I can. I don’t want to ruin her telling me.

  “I fell in love with him. Hard love. The kind of love that changes you. The kind that makes you do stupid, stupid, things. Our relationship lasted for over six years. It was great in the beginning or at least I thought it was. He opened me up to a whole new world. The kind you see in the movies. Ya’ know, the underground things that you don’t actually think happens in real life, but it does. And I loved it. Every single second of it. A part of me thought it was finally the thing I had been missing. I never felt like I had fit in and when Carter had introduced me to his life, his world, I craved it and felt whole. There were some things I couldn’t accept and Carter didn’t understand that. I wouldn’t say it tore us apart, but it definitely didn’t help. Eventually he succumbed to the really bad things and it took me a long time before I noticed. I was clueless and too in love with him to notice he was doing drugs. Heroin and cocaine. He had become distant and agitated. He became mean and that’s when I knew something was going on. I went to confront him about it at his place close to the warehouse he and his uncle operated together, and I caught him with another woman in his bed. I left and broke it off with him. But he wouldn’t let it go, he wouldn’t let me go.”

  She stops speaking and I can hear her start to cry. I want to turn around and console her, but I don’t want her to stop talking either. I don’t know what to do. Screw it. I make the decision to turn around anyways and it tears me to see her face. She looks so sad, and I hate that anyone has caused her to be this way.