Designed

by Alicia Renee Kline

  I should be good at doing this by now, but this page always gives me pause. I always feel like a broken record, thanking the same people over and over. So here goes.

  As always, thank you to my Matthew for being supportive in your own way. Because you didn’t totally mock me when I decided to try my hand at this whole author thing, I’m working on creating my own empire. An empire of what has yet to be determined. Thank you for realizing that this is a sickness and letting me indulge in my periods of #amwriting. I love you.

  To Olivia and Natalee, who alternate between rolling their eyes at me and being proud. Yes, I’m still writing. Just because I’m done with this one doesn’t mean that I’m going to quit now. The two of you were well worth putting these characters off for a few years. One day you’ll understand that just because you’re a parent doesn’t mean that you stop having dreams and fantasies. I’m glad that you’re both old enough now to allow me to work on reaching mine.

  To JoEllen, the best beta reader that I could ever ask for and a wonderful friend, too. Thank you for never tiring of hearing me spout off about self-publishing. And these characters. And my ideas for the next book. All while appearing like you’re never bored. Your faith in me and my work is staggering. You believe even when I don’t.

  To Shona, who I trusted during a leap of faith with the truth about what I really did after normal working hours. We’ve never met in person, nor did I expect you to buy my books, but you did and the rest is history. You, too, are always there with encouragement and laughs. And as you can see, Blake’s secret was not that she was a transvestite. Great minds must think alike, because my husband also placed his bets on that outcome.

  To the friends I’ve made along the way during this crazy journey - even though we know each other only virtually, I’ve gained so much knowledge from your experiences. I hope that one day I’ll be able to pay it forward by imparting some of my knowledge to a writer who is afraid to take the first step on their own self-publishing journey.

  To the bloggers that have taken a chance on reading and reviewing my books - thanks for having faith in an unknown author like me. Your kind words and reviews are much appreciated. There’s really no better feeling than knowing I’ve made fans out of people who had never heard of me a year ago. Some of you have even purchased the second book with your own funds after receiving the first for free in exchange for your honest opinion. There is no higher compliment that you could give me than that and I am eternally grateful for your support.

  To my readers, past, present and future - you are the reason that I keep doing this. I may be writing like no one will ever read this, but I’m glad that you are. Thank you so much for embracing me and my characters. It means the world to me.

  About the Author

  Alicia Renee Kline resides in Northeastern Indiana with her husband and two daughters. She swears that sea salt and vinegar potato chips and Vanilla Coke fuel her creativity. When she’s not sitting at her laptop dreaming up drama for the characters in her head, she works full time in the insurance industry. She’s also an avid reader, enjoying a little bit of everything but usually opting for something in the romance, chick lit or mystery genres.

  To learn more about Alicia and her characters, or to get your ebooks signed by the author, check out her website at aliciareneekline.com. If you’re feeling really adventurous, follow her on Twitter at @readaliciarenee. She loves to connect with her readers and welcomes your comments and questions.

  If you enjoyed this book, please consider posting a review to help others find it, too. Word of mouth is the best compliment that you can give an author.

  Titles by Alicia Renee Kline

  The Intoxicated Books

  Intoxicated

  Shattered

  Designed

  Changed (coming soon)

  A Sneak Peak of Changed

  Flashbacks suck. I say this even as I’m about to subject you to one, as an apology of sorts. I’m sorry. There. But you know how people want to be shown things and not told stuff? Besides, I wouldn’t want you to think that Will and I have been sneaking around behind everyone’s back for ages, because we haven’t. Here’s what happened and how I got where I was when Blake called to share her news.

  Having to be at work the next morning was a handy excuse for leaving your best friend’s house when the going got rough or the diapers got smelly, take your pick. Sadie and I had managed to peacefully coexist for the majority of the day at Matthew and Lauren’s place. I’d even held her for an hour or two, cradling her tiny body in my arms as she slept. Never mind the fact that Lauren had sat me down on the couch like a three year old first, making me hold still before she’d entrusted me with her newborn daughter. I couldn’t exactly fault her logic.

  The baby was cute; I had to give it that. She had a way of captivating her parents, but the effect hadn’t yet rubbed off on me. There were no maternal instincts coursing through my veins while staring down upon her angelic face. No biological clock ticking restlessly in the back of my head. At twenty-five, I had plenty of time for all that. Later. Much later. Maybe never.

  In any case, I’d done my duty and visited the happy little family at their house. I’d been a bit curious to see how the nursery had turned out, anyway. Blake had poured her heart and soul into that room and I’d been merely a pawn in her vision, armed with a paintbrush and a detailed list of directions. I liked the end result; the pictures Lauren had snapped on her phone and sent to me hadn’t quite done it justice.

  And of course, I’d wanted to see my friend. Part of me knew that my relationship with Lauren would never be the same again. It had already evolved into something different once, when she’d gotten engaged to Matthew. The changes had only compounded when she got pregnant during their engagement and then again when they’d actually gotten married. Suddenly, there was a line drawn in the sand between the two of us: she was grown up now and I was left behind, what with my barely over the minimum wage job as a bank teller and my unattached lifestyle.

  But Lauren and I were pros at handling change. We’d lived through it before when she’d gotten her promotion and moved from Indianapolis to Fort Wayne. Suddenly, she wasn’t my everyday lunch buddy at work. The distance hadn’t deterred us from remaining tight - no more than my hatred of her former boyfriend, Eric, had. We’d get over this bump in the road, too. And by “we”, I really meant “me”, because I was the one that had to adapt.

  So I bowed out when given the opportunity. Sadie had been fed and changed and had nestled down into her crib for a few hours of sleep. Lauren had practically run into the kitchen to start dinner for herself and Matthew. It was like the countdown was on - she had to do something for the adults before the baby woke back up. I knew that she’d happily make enough to feed me as well, but I felt kind of guilty intruding on her alone time with her husband.

  I fully intended to swing by one of the fast food windows conveniently located right off of the exit to the interstate and wolf something down as I sped down the highway on the two hour trek home. But then I remembered the gift card I’d won at work for my impeccable balancing record, good for more than I could eat in one sitting at one of those franchise grills that were always decorated to look like they were local. They could pretend all they wanted; they weren’t fooling anyone. Just like the bank didn’t fool me with their supposed gratitude at my ability to correctly count money. They were bribing me to stay without asking for a raise, twenty bucks at a time.

  Being a Sunday night, I was a bit surprised at the amount of cars in the parking lot when I pulled in. It wasn’t like I truly had anywhere to go and free food was calling my name, so I parked and committed myself to waiting. I planned on just grabbing a seat at the bar - it was less conspicuous that way. I didn’t particularly like to eat alone at places like these. It led to bad things; usually some guy who’d had a bit too much to drink would proposition me and then I’d have to put him in his place. Sometimes I was gentle. Most of the time I was not.

/>   I knew people stared at me. I commanded attention when I walked into a room. I deserved it even if I didn’t always want it. In my bare feet I hovered just below the five foot eight mark, and there weren’t many times that I didn’t strap on a pair of heels to accentuate my height. I was stick thin, but not like I needed to eat a hamburger. I had curves in all the right places and they were quite beautiful. Top that off with skin that looked like it had been airbrushed on, large brown eyes and a full head of flowing black hair and that was me.

  Just to look at me, people assumed that I was a supreme bitch. Sometimes they were right.

  But today, I was all sweetness and light as I informed the greeter at the door that I was just going to take a seat in the bar. I had my ID at the ready, knowing I’d be asked. Despite my attractiveness, it didn’t stop me from looking youthful and I got carded more often than not. One day I’d be flattered, but not this day.

  I stuffed my drivers license back into my oversized bag and took in my surroundings. That’s when I found him. That slightly curly mop of auburn hair caught my eye from across the room. He’d had the same idea as me - cozying up to the bar on one of the stools to hide the fact you’d shown up by yourself. I paused for a second, watching him from afar and confirming it was actually Will and not a doppelganger prior to making my move.

  In retrospect, I was really dumb to sneak up behind someone who regularly carried a gun and obviously knew how to use it, but I did it anyway. His eyes were laser focused on the television mounted on the wall in front of him so there was no need to act stealthy. Even so, I planned my route up to the bar carefully. My covert actions caught the attention of the bartender, who was just about to either welcome me or question my sanity until I raised my eyebrows and pressed my index finger to my lips. I then gestured over to my acquaintance on the stool and he seemed to get my message. Clearly he thought we were together.

  He must have been psychic.

  I held my breath as I came up behind Will, so close to him that I could smell whatever soap it was that he used. Then with a quick movement, I covered his eyes with my palms.

  “Guess who!” I whispered into his ear. The just washed scent was even more pronounced from this position and it wasn’t an altogether bad thing.

  His hands came up to grab my wrists, pulling my hands away from his face.

  “Hi, Gracie,” he responded.

  I let out a little squeal of disappointment that I hadn’t stumped him and he laughed.

  “Is this seat taken?” I asked, hopping onto the stool before he had time to answer. I placed my purse on the floor at my feet and rested my elbows on the mahogany slab in front of me. “So how the hell are you?”

  He took a big drink of his beer before answering. It was in one of those huge glasses popular at the in places to be, given a quirky name on the menu to compensate for the fact that you were being royally overcharged.

  “I’ve been better,” was his assessment.

  My face fell a little bit, my formerly bubbly mood quickly tempered by the fact that he was anything but. I searched my brain for the reasoning behind his discontent. For all intents and purposes we didn’t really know each other; we’d just been thrown together at Matthew and Lauren’s wedding and hadn’t seen each other since. But in that moment in time, I’d decided that I liked him. He was a friend of a friend, if that, and nothing more.

  When my eyes focused on the hand that clutched the frosty mug, I literally felt like slapping myself. The answer was right in front of me, given away by the indentation on his left ring finger. I’d heard rumblings of him being recently divorced or going through one currently, whatever. There wasn’t a need for a distinction. Either category would be enough to put someone in a foul mood.

  I requested a basket of chicken fingers and settled back into my seat. During the time that the bartender had been taking my order, Will had turned his attention once again to the television.

  “Want to talk about it?” I asked.

  He shrugged.

  “I’m a good listener,” I pressed.

  “So I’ve heard.”

  “It comes with the territory. I know a lot of fucked up people. I keep a lot of secrets. I’ve often said that that’s why so many people name their dogs Gracie - because I’m man’s best friend.”

  This garnered a small smile from him. Not exactly what I was looking for, but it was a start. For some reason I had an intense desire to make him happy. Maybe it was because he looked so youthful and innocent - it wasn’t fair that he should be depressed. He reminded me of a teddy bear, not exactly the guy that dreams were made of, but someone you just wanted to reach over and hug because he was too damn cute. Cute things shouldn’t be sad.

  “I appreciate the offer, but it’s getting late and you’re miles from home. My sob story’s too long for a discussion over a couple of beers.”

  I toyed with the food that I’d been brought, debating what to do next. The part of me that didn’t self-edit won out. It usually did anyway, so I shouldn’t have been surprised. But he was when I gave my suggestion: “Then let’s go across the street, get something stronger and take this party on the road.”

  I was referring to the grocery store across the plaza from our current location, open twenty-four hours and stocked with a vast array of adult beverages. He caught my drift, but with one phrase ruined my perfect plan.

  “You’ve forgotten that it’s Sunday in Indiana.”

  Damn. No carry out liquor sales.

  “Fuck,” I said in confirmation.

  “Lucky for you, I have some good stuff at home. I just didn’t feel like drinking alone.”

  “So you came to a bar, alone, so you could pretend that you weren’t?”

  “It seemed logical at the time.”

  “I guess it was, because I ran into you.”

  “Yeah. So you can watch me get sloppy drunk and then laugh at me later.”

  “I’ll join you. I’ll almost bet I can drink you under the table.”

  “Again, your plan is flawed. As an officer of the law, I can’t condone that behavior. I’m not going to let you drink and then go off to Indy. Have we not learned anything from our friend Matthew?”

  This, I was ready for. “You’ve got a couch, right?”

  His brow furrowed.

  “I’ll sleep it off for a couple hours and then head home. I’m a big girl, give me a little more credit than that.”

  He stared at me, his green eyes clearly considering telling me no. He rubbed the coarse hair of his goatee and debated some more.

  “Fine. I’ll only have a couple. I’d feel bad taking all your booze anyway. You can give me a field sobriety test before I head out.”

  Will sighed before relenting. “I’m sure I’ll regret this later, but okay.”

  I finished my dinner while he nursed another impossibly big, overpriced beer. While doing that, he gave me the rundown of his liquor supply at home. We decided to run across the street anyway and pick up a twelve pack of Coke to mix with the rum he remembered having. I told him I’d buy.

  Another thought sprang to my mind in the grocery store as we stood in line with our small basket of stuff. In addition to the pop, we’d gathered a couple of bags of potato chips. Nothing too elaborate. I’d thought of suggesting a half gallon of ice cream to go along with it, but figured that that was a stereotypical distraught woman thing. I wasn’t sure what guys did when they were down in the dumps.

  True to my word, I forked over the cash once the cashier rang us up and told us the damage. Will had just grabbed my purchases off the bag carousel when I scrunched up my face and proceeded with the next step in my plan.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked almost instantly.

  “I have to go to the bathroom.”

  My words were quiet, meek even, but he still rolled his eyes at me. Totally believable. I wanted to pat myself on the back, but that would have put an end to the ruse.

  “Can’t you just wait? My place isn’t that far.”
/>
  I gave him a look that clearly told him no.

  “Fine,” he huffed.

  “I’ll hurry,” I promised.

  Will headed towards the parking lot via the automatic doors to the right. I turned in the opposite direction, heading back to the general area where I’d recalled seeing the bathrooms when we came in. I snuck a couple of glances over my shoulder as I walked away. As soon as he disappeared from the store, I doubled back and moved quickly to my true destination: the pharmacy department.

  I found what I was looking for and grabbed the box off the shelf, feeling sophomoric as I hurried over to the self-checkout lanes. Really, the act of me buying condoms wasn’t meant as an omen - it was strictly a precaution. I remembered the wisdom I’d spouted off to Blake and Chris about how sometimes a little conversation and a good screw could make everything right in the world. I wondered if it would help in this circumstance, too. Besides, it wasn’t like I was going to proposition him or anything - if I didn’t end up needing them, I’d pretend I’d never bought them. Or I could leave them as a parting gift. Whichever.

  As I exited the store, I paused in the vestibule to stash the plastic bag containing my contraband into my purse. I knew I carried a huge handbag for a reason. He wouldn’t be the wiser.

  Smiling to myself, I strode across the parking lot to where he waited for me, leaning against the driver’s side of his Jeep Wrangler. I hadn’t pictured him to be a Jeep kind of guy, but now that I saw him with it I supposed it kind of fit him.

  “Everything come out okay?” he quipped.

  “Yep. So, lead the way.”

  We both got in our respective vehicles, him pulling out of the parking lot first of course. We stayed on the main drag through town and for a portion of the drive I knew exactly where I was. We passed Lauren’s work, the Italian restaurant that I’d been to a handful of times, one of the shopping centers that I’d gone to. No sweat so far. When my familiarity with the landmarks dissipated, I paid close attention to my surroundings. Even though we were still on the same street, the last thing I needed was to get lost on my way back home. GPS was handy, but it was no substitute for knowing where the hell you were going, especially in the middle of the night after having more than a few drinks.