Cadeyrn

by Hazel Hunter

  “I love you,” Murdina called to him. “I’ll await you in the well.”

  She sank out of sight, rippling the water.

  Hendry waited for her to stand and end the ruse, but the seconds ticked by as he watched the placid surface. Suddenly bubbles burst through, but of Murdina there was no sign. He ran to the loch, diving in and swimming frantically until he found her. Even with the stones weighing her down she felt like a small bairn in his arms. He dragged her to the shore, where he blew his breath into her mouth until she coughed up the water she’d swallowed. He turned her on her side and held her until she could breathe freely once more.

  “You mad little wench,” he said, pushing the wet hair back from her pale face. Tenderly he cradled her on his lap. “You ken ’tis forbidden for us to love. We’re blood-kin.”

  “I dinnae care. I cannae sleep or eat for thinking of you.” She caught his hand and brought it to her lips. “Come with me to the well, please, Hendry. Only there can we be together.”

  He saw in her eyes the same wretchedness that dwelled in him, and that finally undid him. He pulled her close and kissed her wet mouth until she gasped with delight. Then he carried her to a mossy spot beneath the trees and took her maidenhood, as passionately as if they’d just been mated. That illicit act brought him the only joy he had ever known—and it had sealed their fate.

  They could not reveal to the tribe that they had become lovers—his mother and hers were sisters by blood—but they defied druid law and met in secret whenever they could. Murdina used her talents with herbs to make a potion to keep from conceiving, and concocted soothing draughts to help Hendry control his temper. In front of others they remained polite cousins, and their act proved so effective no one ever questioned it. Murdina refused to mate with anyone, as did Hendry, but few offered. In time their parents died, and at last they were able to live together. The tribe even approved. The headman thought it kind of Hendry to provide home and hearth for his spinster cousin.

  How they had laughed about the tribe’s ignorance as they made love every night in Hendry’s bed. They began to make plans to leave the settlement and live away from druid kind, where mortals would think them only a middle-aged man and his wife.

  “I shall love you forever,” Murdina would tell him. “Naught can ever come between us.”

  Naught had, until the Romans attacked the Wood Dream in the midst of their solstice ritual. If he and Murdina had not slipped away to make love, they would have died along with their tribe that day. Returning to find their slaughtered kin scattered across the glen had been as shocking as discovering the tribe’s wooden guardians had come to life.

  “I dinnae fathom this,” Murdina had said, clinging to his arm. “Why did the Gods spare us?”

  Hendry gazed down at the tiny corpses of two bairns barely weaned. Beyond them the hulking giants gouged at the ground, digging graves to bury the dead. “To make right a terrible wrong.” His power surged inside him. “The Gods shall show us the path.”

  So they had, until Bhaltair Flen had stopped them.

  In the quiet of the granary a sudden desperation seized Hendry, and he pulled Murdina into his arms.

  “I willnae permit him to take you from me.”

  He pressed her back into the grain, dragging up her night gown and jerking open his trews. As soon as Murdina felt him hard against her she clamped her thighs around his hips and urged him inside her.

  Being buried deep in her quim brought to Hendry the only peace he had ever known. Moving steadily inside her, he looked into her eyes and watched the fear fade into hunger for him.

  “Never shall I let you go from me again, sweeting mine,” he said, groaning the words as she shivered beneath him. “You belong to me, body and soul. You remember that, Murdina. You cling to that, and naught shall part us.”

  Their coupling grew rough and wild, and when they both shuddered to climax Hendry felt his own strength and purpose renewed. Gods, how much he loved this woman, and now it would be forever more. He’d have her every hour if she needed that to remind her.

  “I need only you beside me,” Murdina whispered, making him realize he’d given voice to his thoughts. “But take me again, Hendry. Take me until I beg you stop.”

  “Then ’twill be for eternity,” he told her, and kissed the delighted smile on her lips.

  Chapter Twelve

  LILY WATCHED CADEYRN add some wood to the brazier Emeline had fashioned from an old shield and some rocks. She still felt a little thick-headed from whatever had knocked her out cold at the portal, but it was fading. She still couldn’t believe Emeline’s claim that the Skaraven warrior had carried her for miles. But then there was the way he kept glancing at her—as if all Cadeyrn wanted was to get her alone and put his hands on her.

  She wanted that too. Just his glances made her whole body heat from the inside.

  “If we had some hot chocolate,” Rowan said as she used a stick to fish more of the roasted chestnuts from the brazier’s hot ashes, “and a turkey in the oven and some holiday tunes playing, this would be perfect.”

  “We’ve naught but very cold water,” Emeline advised her as she checked the inside of another stone dish before dipping it in the shield of slushy snow. “Cade, come and have some before Perrin gobbles the lot.”

  The dancer stopped cramming the roasted nut meats in her mouth to glare at the nurse.

  “I haven’t eaten for weeks, thank you very much.” She finished chewing and swallowed, sighing blissfully. “Oh, but they do taste wonderful, don’t they?”

  Cadeyrn crouched beside Lily to survey the remaining nuts. She peeled one of the cooled dark brown husks from her portion and offered him the wrinkly, pale nut.

  “Here. I’m full.”

  He took it from her fingers with his mouth, his lips brushing against her skin in a kiss only she saw and felt. “My thanks.”

  Since they’d come here everything he said to Lily sounded like an invitation to shag. Then again, every time she looked at him she was imagining him naked.

  “The water doesn’t taste anything like Christmas,” Rowan said, wrinkling her nose after taking a sip. “More like old rusty Roman shield.”

  “We could all use a wee bit of iron to build our blood,” Emeline said and then stood. She took in a quick breath and turned away from everyone. “Rowan, watch the fire. I need some air. Excuse me.”

  Lily caught a glimpse of the blush darkening Emeline’s cheeks before she stepped outside. The nurse had picked up on someone’s emotions, and they’d embarrassed her. Rowan and Perrin seemed happier than she’d ever seen them, so that left her and Cadeyrn.

  Gazing up into the warrior’s golden eyes, she saw the same yearning hunger that she felt. It made her beyond happy to have gotten the other women away from the druids, but now all she wanted was her Skaraven warrior and a nice, quiet, private spot.

  Cadeyrn looked from her to where Emeline stood outside and back again. Lily trailed her fingertips over her lips, still faintly swollen from his kisses, and saw his mouth curve. Then she stroked her hand along her arm, and saw his smile fade as his eyes turned a hot bronze.

  “I can’t believe how hungry I am,” Perrin said as she tossed some husks into the flames and reached for more. “It’s like I haven’t eaten for weeks.”

  “You haven’t,” Lily reminded her, feeling a little breathless. “Not that we had anything scrumptious to nibble on, but you barely touched a morsel.”

  “You ate like a pig yesterday morning, too,” Rowan said, and gave her sister a measuring look. “Right after you changed into that dress.”

  The dancer nodded. “I remember. As soon as I got out of my clothes my stomach started growling like crazy.”

  Lily glanced at Cadeyrn, who was frowning now. “Did Hendry or Murdina do something to make her hungry?”

  “If they did, I reckon ’twas the opposite, my lady,” he said slowly. “They might have bespelled her to no’ want food, mayhap to keep her weak.”

&
nbsp; “If they did, then why didn’t they hex the rest of us?” Rowan asked.

  “To control you,” Lily said before Cadeyrn could reply. “You’re the strongest and, I’ll wager, the least fearful.”

  “Aye, and you’ve had more chances to escape than any of us,” Emeline said as she rejoined them. “Ochd took you out to the woods alone just the other day. Why didn’t you make a try for the portal?”

  “I thought about it, but I couldn’t.” The carpenter suddenly looked uneasy. “I couldn’t leave behind my sister. I swore to Marion before she died—the woman who adopted us—that I’d always watch over Perr.”

  Perrin stared aghast at her. “Mother made you promise that? But why?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe because you’re totally clueless. Nothing bad ever happened to you before we got dragged through the oak time tunnel.” Rowan spread her hands. “What was I supposed to do? The old hag was dying. She’d have come back to haunt me.”

  They all knew the carpenter to be utterly devoted to her sister, but what she said made no sense to Lily. “Touching, but you might have used the portal to go for help and come back for us.”

  “You wouldnae go, Lady Rowan, or you couldnae?” Cadeyrn asked her.

  “It’s just Rowan, and I couldn’t go.” She sounded confused now. “I’ve wanted to. Even before we got here I thought about going off on my own plenty of times. Then I’d hear Marion in my head, and remember making the promise, and I’d forget about it.”

  “But you never said a word to me,” Perrin said, her eyes wide.

  Rowan shrugged. “No point.”

  “Well, that’s not happening anymore,” Perrin said firmly. “I don’t need a caretaker, and Marion had no right to ask that of you. When we get back home, it stops. You get on with your life and do what you want with it.”

  “Sure,” Rowan said smothering a yawn. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I could use some sleep. Cade, can we curl up around the fire? The embers should keep us warm until morning.”

  That put an end to the strange discussion. Cadeyrn gouged out four hollows in the dirt floor, and filled them with fresh pine needles and dried leaves he collected from outside. He then tore his tartan into four pieces and covered the mounds, making them into surprisingly comfortable makeshift beds.

  “I’ll stand watch while you sleep,” he told them.

  Once he’d left, Rowan curled up beside her sister and watched the fire die down until her eyes closed. Emeline used some of the melt water to wash her hands and face before she offered the last of it to Lily. She also tore one of her rags into strips and knelt down to tie Lily’s shoes back together.

  “When we reach the Skaraven we’ll ask to borrow some shoes for you,” Emeline said. “These need to be tossed in the rubbish.”

  “You know about me and Cade shagging, don’t you?” Lily asked as she tidied up. “And you know what he feels for me, too.”

  “Oh, aye.” The nurse stifled a laugh. “He’s what you Brits call completely besotted.” Her expression sobered. “You’ve no’ told him about what Coig did to you.”

  Lily endured a wave of nausea before she shook her head. “I didn’t know you could read minds.”

  “I cannae. But I’m a nurse, and I saw the state you were in when that bastart carried you to the portal in our time.” Emeline’s mouth tightened as she knotted the last rag strip. “I’m no’ one to give advice—I’ve never had a romance—but he should know what will happen to you here…and before you came.”

  “You can know all that from your power?” Lily asked, startled.

  “Some of it.” She grimaced. “I ken it’s none of my business.”

  “I think we’re long past pretending to be polite strangers.” Lily smiled a little. “If Hendry was telling the truth, which he almost never does, and we get away safely, the Skaraven will return us to the future. Well, you lot anyway. I may end up in a dungeon for snatching Cade.”

  “Talk to him, Lily,” the nurse said. “He deserves to ken the full truth.” She offered her a sympathetic smile before she lay down and closed her eyes.

  Lily felt tempted to retreat back into herself and tell Cadeyrn nothing. So, they’d shagged. That didn’t give him a front row seat to the story of her life, and what had been done after she’d been ripped from it. All he’d done was go along with her little ruse to fool Hendry–

  You keep yourself emotionally numb as a defense, her therapist had told her. If you convince yourself that you don’t feel anything for anyone, then they can’t hurt you.

  She didn’t feel numb anymore. Cadeyrn had gotten to her, unlocked a part of her that she hadn’t known still existed. She knew exactly when he had opened her heart, too: when he’d told her about the beating he’d taken for protecting a starving boy. He’d put his trust in that boy, and her, and had suffered because of it. He still didn’t understand why she’d done it. She wanted him to know that, to know who she was.

  It would take every ounce of her courage to trust him with all of her dark secrets. But if anyone could ever understand her, Cadeyrn was her man.

  Lily left the other women sleeping and wrapped herself in the torn length of tartan before she ventured outside. She felt a little as if she were walking toward the edge of a cliff. The storm had dropped a prodigious amount of snow on the hills and inside the crevasse, but the sky looked clear.

  When Lily reached the arch, she found the alcoves empty, only to jump as Cadeyrn leapt up from the steps leading down from the fortlet.

  He immediately came to her and put his hands on her shoulders. “Trouble?”

  “No,” she said, trying to smile and failing miserably. “What were you doing down there?”

  “Leaving a message for my brothers, that they might ken where we shall go on the morrow.” Cadeyrn studied her face for a moment, and then drew her inside the alcove out of the wind. “You should be sleeping.”

  “Says the man who’s been awake for God only knows. I need to talk to you about something…private.” She took off the tartan, shaking the snow from it before she spread it over the stone bench. “Would you sit with me?”

  “If I may?” When she smiled he lifted her in his arms and placed her on his thighs. “’Twill be warmer for us both.”

  Being close to him made her arms tingle with something she’d never before felt.

  “You do keep me cozy.”

  “You’ve no’ often been so,” Cadeyrn guessed.

  “No.” Lily wasn’t sure how to begin, and then the words simply poured out of her. “My father was quite wealthy and important. He was a big man, very tall and heavy, and stupendously strong, too. He expected everything to be exactly as he wished. When it wasn’t, he’d get angry, and that was often. Sometimes daily.” She felt sick, and paused until the sensation passed. “My father bullied and terrified me all of my life. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t afraid of him.” She stared out at the fallen snow. “He also beat my mother for twenty-one years, until she killed herself. After she died he started hitting me.”

  “Bastart,” Cadeyrn muttered under his breath.

  “Yes, he was.” She cleared her throat. “He was quite careful to keep anyone from finding out what he did to us. He told my mother that he’d kill us both if she told anyone—in front of me. I was five years old, and I still remember her expression. She believed him, and so did I.”

  Lily told him how her father deceived everyone, even their servants, into believing he was a kind and generous man. How in private he would take out his frustrations on her mother, who gradually became more depressed and fearful. How he began keeping Lily from her mother in order to have more control over them both. How it felt to grow up in a house where even the slightest mistake could result in a terrible punishment.

  “One of the women I worked with noticed the signs that I was battered. She convinced me to secretly go to another lady, a doctor who helps abused women. I couldn’t go often, but after a few years I learned that I didn’t have t
o live my life in constant terror.” She ducked her head. “It took a bit longer for me to gather my courage and work out my escape.”

  Cadeyrn stroked her arm. “What he did, ’tis why you dinnae trust men.”

  “I’ve never really known any men except my father. He kept me locked up in his mansion most of the time. He hired tutors and governesses to look after me. God only knows what he did to my mother while I was kept away from her. He stopped her from seeing me altogether, which I think is when she gave up any hope she had left.” She dragged in a stuttering breath. “One night she went to take a bath, and instead hung herself with the belt of her robe.”

  Cadeyrn pulled her close and held her until she felt steady enough to continue.

  “I got away, and took a job as a sous-chef on a ship. I’d only been free of my father for six months when Coig took me from my time. I didn’t try to fight him off. I watched him kill a man with one blow.” Her voice shook so badly she gulped. “I could do nothing, but it wasn’t because of my father. I was completely paralyzed. Coig squeezed too hard when he grabbed me, and—”

  “He broke your neck.” Cadeyrn touched her mouth with his fingertips. “I saw what he did to you in my dreams.” He slid his hand around her neck to cup her nape. “Night after night I relived it, there but no’ there. Helpless to stop that facking brute from hurting you.”

  Lily didn’t know what to think, so she pushed on.

  “When I came to your time, my neck wasn’t broken anymore. I could move again. Coig saw that and tried to throttle me, but another guard stopped him. Since then he’s been hurting me, much worse than my father ever did. It brought back so many horrid memories that I couldn’t bear…” She stared at her hands. “I couldn’t go through it again. Not after I worked so hard to escape one monster. So, I began plotting to get in the druids’ good graces and make them believe I’d help them find your clan. At first it was to stop Coig from hurting me, but then I knew what I really wanted.”