Now That I've Found You (New York Sullivans #1) (The Sullivans Book 15)

by Bella Andre

  Yet again, his arms came around her. But this time he followed with a kiss that felt like the other half of his vow. “You won’t,” he promised.

  Rosa was so afraid to trust again. But Drake had been nothing but honest with her from the start. If he said Smith would want to help, and wouldn’t be put off by talking with a reality TV star, she needed to stop doubting him.

  Plus, ever since she’d seen the short clip of the entertainment “news” program playing on the TV in her motel room, Rosa kept returning to the word the lawyer had used: cyber-attack. She hadn’t been able to see past the shock, and the shame, at first. And she’d always assumed that online bullying came with the celebrity territory. She’d tried her best to minimize its effect on her life by making sure her PR team blocked the worst of them from her social media feeds.

  But as she thought more about what the lawyer had said, she began to see that this wasn’t just someone saying mean things about the way she looked or how empty they thought her brain was. So even though her mother had said they were going to sic their best legal team on the guy who’d taken the pictures, was there more that could be done?

  “Actually,” she said, her heart jumping fast in her chest, “I’d appreciate it if you’d talk to Smith again. But if he doesn’t want to get involved—”

  “He will.” Drake’s smile warmed her all over. “Although I think you should speak directly to him this time.”

  Her heart jumped even faster. But she knew Drake was right. She couldn’t ask someone to be brave for her if she wasn’t willing to do the same. “I just hope I don’t come off like a geeky superfan.”

  Drake grinned even wider, obviously pleased that she’d agreed. “Knowing him, he’ll eat it up. I’ll text to see when he’s available.”

  When he walked out of the kitchen to get his cell phone, Rosa dropped to the floor and put her arms around Oscar, glad for his warm, furry body against hers. “You really are a sweetheart, aren’t you?” she whispered. She had always loved dogs, but with her travel schedule, there was no way she could have one. Maybe if she started over...

  Her head immediately hurt just thinking about it. Especially if starting over would mean leaving everything she knew behind, including her family. Although if she imagined a future with Drake at her side, suddenly things didn’t seem quite so bad, or so scary.

  Was she crazy to let herself think this way? To dream about actually having a future with him? Should she be working harder to guard her heart, to keep her walls up, so that if they couldn’t make it work, it wouldn’t hurt so bad?

  “Smith is free now.”

  Before she could change her mind, Drake put the phone in video mode and dialed and got down on the floor with Rosa and Oscar so that she could see Smith on screen.

  “Hey, cuz. Good to hear from you again.”

  “Same here. I’d like to introduce you to my good friend Rosa.”

  Smith smiled, the million-watt movie-star smile she’d seen a dozen times over the years at the theater. “Great to meet you.”

  She opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. She’d met plenty of famous people over the past few years, but Smith had her star struck. “I’m such a big fan.” Ugh, she had promised herself she wasn’t going to be a goof, but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t believe she’d ever thought Drake’s family was normal. Movie stars and billionaires and pro athletes were about as far from normal as it got.

  “Valentina and I feel the same way about you.”

  She was stunned. “How can that be?”

  Smith laughed, a warm sound that reminded her of Drake’s laugh. Drake’s was sexier, of course, but boy, did the two men have a lot of overlap. “We’ve both watched your show over the years. When I’m out on the road and missing my own family, I enjoy living vicariously through yours for a little while.”

  Rosa was beyond shocked. Not only that he’d watched her show, but that he’d actually enjoyed it. Her heart squeezed knowing that her family had touched him in some way.

  “Thank you for saying that, and for even taking this call when I know how busy you are. I hate the thought of asking you for help—”

  “Don’t be.” His expression shifted straight from friendly to intense. “What happened to you is just plain wrong. If any of the women I love were violated that way...” He scowled. “I want to help, Rosa. Valentina and I have been thinking about how we can. I was actually just about to get in touch with Drake to run our idea past him. It’s better to run it directly by you, though.”

  Rosa felt so surrounded by unexpected kindness that she nearly dissolved into a big puddle of tears right there on the cabin floor with Drake flanking her on one side, Oscar on the other. “I’m sure anything you do would be really great.”

  “I’m aiming for a whole lot better than great.”

  Rosa had never acted or even wanted to, but she could see what a thrill it would be to work with Smith in any capacity. Like Drake, he was just so solid. So steady and confident, but without even the slightest cocky edge.

  “I’d like to release a public statement stating that I won’t work with any press—both online and in print—that continues to print the pictures. I’ll follow it up, of course, with a personal call or note to the biggest, so that there can be no question about where I stand on the issue.”

  “That would be—” Her throat had such a big lump in it that there was no way she could have spoken past it if Drake hadn’t been beside her holding her hand. “Absolutely amazing. But what about the movies you’re promoting? I’d hate for your stance on my behalf to put your business at risk.”

  “I’m not worried about my business, Rosa. But I am worried about the daughter I hope to have one day. We’ve got to make this world safer for her. This is just one small step, but hopefully it will move us in the right direction.”

  The lump in her throat finally won, tears spilling down her cheeks as she said, “Thank you.”

  “I wish I could do more.” And she believed he truly did. “I’ll call you if I feel I need to check in again before making the statement, okay?”

  She nodded, knowing better than to try to speak. After thanking his cousin, Drake disconnected, then focused on gently brushing her cheeks dry. When she had herself under slightly better control, she asked, “Is everyone in your family like Smith?”

  “We’re all human and can have our bad days, but yeah, Sullivans tend to be pretty great all around.”

  “He’s doing so much for me, going out on such a limb—it makes me realize that I need to start doing that too.” She was silent for a few moments as the realization of what her next step should be suddenly became clear. Her heart was pounding, but it wasn’t fear driving her pulse for once. “Instead of turning off your phone, do you mind if I use it? I’d like to do some research on cyber-attacks.”

  His smile made her heart race even faster for an entirely different reason. Rosa knew that what she was going to find online wasn’t going to be fun, but if Drake was her reward at the end of the tunnel?

  Well, then, she was starting to think she might be able to deal with just about anything that came her way.

  * * *

  An hour later, Drake took the phone from her and shut it down.

  “Why did you do that?”

  “Your expression has gotten grimmer and grimmer every five minutes. I can’t stand to see the light go out in your eyes.”

  “There’s just so much bad stuff that happens. Cyber-stalking, hacking, private pictures people post out of revenge after a breakup...”

  “Come here.” Drake took her hand and walked outside with her so that they were gazing at the ocean. He hoped she saw the way the light sparkled off the water, that she noticed the gulls swooping down to play in the surf and the squirrels chasing each other up and down tree trunks.

  “There’s good stuff too,” she murmured. “Thanks for reminding me.”

  “More good than bad, I hope.”

  She wasn’t looking at the
view anymore as she said, “So much good that I keep pinching myself to check that it’s real. To see if you can possibly be real.”

  The fact that she had started to think of what had happened to her as a crime rather than as her fault—and that she’d just trusted his family not to screw her over when it was damned hard to trust anyone at all after what she’d been through—felt to Drake like big steps in the right direction.

  One where she stayed with him and Oscar, making their lives warmer, brighter, and a hell of a lot more full of life.

  Drake framed her face in his hands and let himself take a good, long visual drink of her beauty before he lowered his mouth to hers and drank from her lips. The sparks that were always simmering just beneath the surface instantly flared, hot and wild.

  “You always know,” she breathed against his lips. “Always know exactly what I need to make everything feel so much better.”

  He had already begun to strip her clothes away when he felt a faint shiver move through her. Scooping her up, he took her back inside the cabin, telling Oscar to go lie down in the bedroom as he kicked the front door shut. He took her to the leather chair, then sat with her straddling his lap.

  “So do you, Rosa. So do you.”

  He took her mouth again before finally stripping away her sweatshirt, finding her bare and so beautiful it nearly stopped his heart just to look at her. He had to put his hands on her, his mouth following barely a beat behind as she arched closer so that he could lave both breasts at once with his tongue.

  “You’re so damned soft. Everywhere I touch.” The way she rocked into his hips hardened him to near bursting beneath the zipper of his jeans. “Everywhere I taste.”

  “Touch more,” she urged. “Taste more.”

  Every time, he promised himself he’d go slowly, be gentle with her. But it was the one promise he could never manage to keep, especially when he yanked her sweats down and found her bare.

  “Rosa.” He groaned her name into her mouth as he found her wet and hot at her center. “Come for me.” He stroked over her, plunged into her with his fingers. “Let go for me.”

  Her eyes went wide, her pupils so dark he swore he could see inside her soul for a split second before she shuddered through the orgasm beginning to whip through her. Hard and fast and, judging by her moans, damned good.

  “I can’t get enough of you,” she panted before she’d even come down all the way from her release. “Every time I think it can’t get any better, it does.”

  She was the one tearing at his clothes now, and he paused only long enough to grab a condom from his pocket before helping her get his shirt and jeans off. The second that protection was in place, she was lowering herself onto him, his heart hammering harder and harder with every inch he slid. Until they were finally, completely, perfectly connected.

  Emotion rippled from every part of her as she stared into his eyes. “If I could stay here forever with you...”

  Instead of finishing her sentence, she pressed her mouth to his and gave him a kiss so sweet that the three little words he’d been trying to hold back awhile longer nearly slipped out. But Drake knew there was only so much she could be expected to handle in one day. So even if he wanted much more—even if he wanted everything—it was enough for today that she’d at least agreed to talk to Smith. And that she’d done it with Drake at her side, rather than continuing to believe their relationship needed to stay hidden forever from everyone.

  Still, if he couldn’t yet say the words aloud, he needed to say them any other way he could. And he would make damned sure Rosa knew what she meant to him in every single moment—especially this one, where they were two halves of a whole.

  He reached up to put his hands on her cheeks, and their kiss spiraled hotter and hotter. Sweeter too, even as she held on to his shoulders for leverage as she rode him.

  His brain went dark enough to see stars as she took him deeper with each stroke. Moving his hands to her hips, he gripped tightly and thrust high, then again, and again, until she was sobbing his name against his mouth and spinning them both off into endless, perfect pleasure.

  * * *

  They were both still panting and holding tightly to each other when she asked, “Do you still want to paint me?”

  “Always.” He was surprised she even had to ask when he’d never held back just how much she inspired him.

  “Then paint me like this. Just the way I am now.”

  He couldn’t be hearing her right. He forced himself to pull back enough to say, “I meant it when I said I don’t want you to sit for me if you don’t want to.”

  “Maybe it doesn’t make any sense, but if you paint me without my clothes on, what you see will replace the other pictures I have in my head. The ones I’m so damned tired of seeing every time I close my eyes.”

  Of course he understood why she would want to reclaim her nudity—to make her body her own again. And he was dying to paint her like this, her smooth, soft skin flushed from their lovemaking.

  “I’ll burn them,” he told her, even though earlier he’d told her he wouldn’t even consider it. “After you’ve taken the mental pictures you need. So that you don’t have to doubt that anyone else will ever see them.”

  “Don’t you dare.” She looked over her shoulder at the paintings all around the room. “Your art deserves to live on forever, not to turn to ashes because I’m afraid someone might see them one day. I’m not even sure you should hide them anymore.”

  “Getting to paint you at all is already more than I could have hoped for.” He wanted to leap at everything she was offering him, but he also didn’t want her to regret anything she did or said during this roller coaster of a week. At the same time, his fingers were literally itching to paint her. Just like this.

  “Go,” she said as she moved to let him up and off the chair, then repositioned herself so that her legs were tucked up beneath her bare hips and her head was tilted against the back of the seat. “Start painting before you burst.”

  He pulled on his jeans, and as he picked up his brush, he realized the best part of painting her like this wasn’t having her gorgeous curves on full display. It was the sated, happy smile on her face as she looked into his eyes.

  A smile that he wanted to see every day for the rest of his life.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  A scratching sound woke Rosa the next morning. She was surprised to realize daylight was coming in through the drapes in Drake’s bedroom. Between his painting, her stitching, and all the crazy hot sex, she wasn’t sure what time it had been when they’d finally dropped into bed and slept.

  But just because they were living on a crazy non-schedule didn’t mean that Oscar was. And as the scratching continued, she realized the dog obviously needed to take care of business outside.

  Not wanting to wake Drake—he’d never made up any of that sleep he’d lost during his twenty-four-hour painting frenzy, and Lord knew he’d expended plenty of energy making her come again and again and again—she silently slipped from his arms. Pulling on his flannel shirt that was flecked with a rainbow of paint splatters, she buried her nose in it and smiled at having his scent all over her as she headed into the living room to let Oscar out.

  The big furball was waiting by the front door, his tail thumping as she walked toward him. “Aren’t you a patient boy,” she praised in a soft voice, giving him a quick stroke over his back before letting him out.

  For the first time in what felt like forever, the sun was out and shining, and though she was barefoot, she followed Oscar through the trees toward a patch of warmth. As she closed her eyes and lifted her face toward it while the surf crashed onto the rocks just beyond the forest, she felt good. Really good.

  Less than a week ago, she hadn’t thought this kind of happiness could ever be hers.

  She’d come to Montauk for a respite from her life and to figure out her next step. She’d expected things to stay rocky, but the more time she spent with Drake—one of the calmest, m
ost confident, yet humble people she’d ever met—the more she thought that maybe she was strong enough to deal with the fallout both from the nude pictures and from her desire to leave the show.

  Yes, her new strength still felt more than a little tentative and shaky, but she figured it was a start. Just as she was starting to believe that maybe she and Drake could find a way to make things work beyond their cabin refuge. After all, Smith had not only been really nice to her on the call yesterday, she also hadn’t sensed any judgment of Drake for hooking up with her.

  Just then, however, a cloud blew in front of the sun. And where she’d felt so warm just moments before, the cold suddenly seeped in beneath the flannel shirt and made her shiver.

  “Oscar,” she called out, “time to go back in.”

  But it was a woman who appeared from between the trees, instead of Oscar. A pretty blonde who was probably a couple of years older than Rosa. She was carrying a pie.

  “Hi, Oscar,” the woman said as he came over to say a quick hello to the newcomer. He thumped his tail against the woman’s leg a couple of times before loping off to chase a squirrel in his lazy way. The woman smiled after Oscar as she said, “I didn’t realize anyone was here with Drake. My grandmother hasn’t seen him in the store for a couple of days, so she thought it might be nice if I dropped by with this pie before they’re all gone. You must be his sister.”

  If only Rosa could get away with saying she was Drake’s sister, she thought, as the scene played out in what felt like slow motion. But there was no way she could hide her face, no way she could run from the scene barefoot, wearing only Drake’s shirt and nothing else. She could hear the clock ticking down on the horrible situation with each and every hard thud of her heart.

  Ten.

  Nine.

  Eight.

  Seven.

  Si—

  “Oh my God.” The woman’s eyes went wide with shock. “You’re Rosalind Bouchard. What are you doing here?”

  Rosa needed to say something. Anything to try to fix this. But both her brain and her tongue were so tied up with blooming panic that she couldn’t figure out how to get a proper thought through either one.