Shape of My Heart

by LuAnn McLane

  “How fun!”

  “Yeah.” He grinned. “I thought constantly singing throughout the day was normal, and when I went to play with friends, I expected the same thing. I remember asking my neighbor why his family didn’t sing, and he looked at me like I had two heads. Later, I realized we were just kinda weird.”

  “Talent isn’t weird. And singing represents being happy.”

  “Ah, we were that,” he replied with an edge of sadness in his tone.

  “When did you know you wanted to be in a boy band?”

  “Never.” Shaking his head, he reached for his wineglass.

  “I don’t understand.”

  Jimmy took a sip of wine and then shrugged. “After we won some singing contests, my parents were approached by a talent scout. My dad balked at the idea at first, but Grady, being the oldest, pushed for the chance and my parents gave in, not knowing our careers would take off like a rocket. We were sort of in the right place at the right time to be the next big thing.” He stared down at his glass for a moment.

  “Do you regret it?” Maggie asked softly, thinking that the touring had taken them away from loving parents they would eventually lose.

  Jimmy looked down at his feet and then over at her. “Dad was only around at the very beginning of our popularity before he had the car wreck, so in some ways our career was a welcome distraction from the intense grief. Being super busy was a good thing, and it did bring my mom the joy she so richly deserved. I think making her happy kept us from going down paths that young celebrities often fall in to. But when her lupus got worse, we wanted to cancel our world tour and the last album. Mom wouldn’t hear of it and insisted that we go anyway. Looking back, I think she wanted us to have the financial security our fame was giving us. She made sure we all invested wisely.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

  “And now you have the lupus foundation.”

  “That’s true.” Jimmy nodded. “Grady started the foundation to bring awareness to a disease that’s difficult to diagnose, and frankly, that most people don’t even know much about. And our celebrity status makes raising money easier than if we’d never been in a boy band.”

  Jimmy’s answer made sense, but Maggie could still hear the sorrow in his tone.

  “Going from an insanely happy childhood to losing our parents was a total rug-being-yanked-out-from-under-us moment. We were deer in the headlights for a while there, but my mom had a great lawyer and CPA guiding us all the way. She’d worked out every detail.”

  “Still.” Maggie’s heart ached for Jimmy.

  “Oh, I know. Thank God we had each other and a solid upbringing that kept us from spiraling out of control,” Jimmy said, but then he shook his head at her. “Don’t look at me with sad eyes, Maggie May. I still consider myself supremely lucky. While my parents were taken from us way too soon, we gathered strength from their foundation of love and values. And I have memories to treasure for the rest of my life.”

  “An amazing attitude to have, Jimmy.”

  “I owe it to my parents to try to be happy.”

  “You’d make a great inspirational speaker.”

  “Thanks, but … stage fright, remember?”

  “I think you’d get over it, and you could connect with a young audience.”

  “I’m not sure I’d have the right stage presence. Now, Jesse? He could bring the house down. He was always ‘that brother’ in music videos and pictures. He had to do something to get attention.”

  “And that’s what your fans loved. You were amazing together but your personalities were all so different. Did you know that would be a factor in your success? Sorry for all the questions.” Maggie blushed. “It’s the writer in me.”

  “I don’t mind. Because we’re brothers, it was easy to figure out what roles we each would take in a boy band. And then our manager had us play our personalities up to the max.” Jimmy stacked a cracker with cheese and sausage and took a crunchy bite.

  “I always found it difficult to believe you and Jesse were twins. You barely even look like brothers. He’s got that surfer-boy look and was always the cutup. You’re right. He never seemed to be serious, even in the music videos.”

  “Yeah, that’s Jesse to a T.” Jimmy grinned. “And we couldn’t be more different in looks and personality.”

  “But you’re close. All of you. I could always tell, and I’m sure your fans could too. I think it’s one of the aspects that made Heartbeat so much fun. And successful. You were sincere.”

  “Oh, don’t get me wrong.” Jimmy tilted his head and grinned. “We give each other some serious grief, but in the end, we all get along. Love each other to the max,” he freely admitted. “I hate that Oliver moved to Tennessee, but I’m so glad he’s happy. I miss Grady, but he’s busy with the lupus foundation and with being a father.” He shook his head and chuckled. “Grady … a dad.” But then his grin faded a bit. “I sure wish my parents were around to see their first grandchild.”

  Maggie could hear the pain lacing his voice, and emotion clutched at her heart.

  “Grady kept our childhood home. It’s pretty much completely remodeled, but I can still hear my dad’s booming laughter sometimes when I’m there. Smell the chocolate chip cookies Mom baked. And we still own the music store in town. Have you been in there?”

  “No.” She’d wanted to go in I Heart Music when she’d driven past one afternoon, but hadn’t wanted to run into Jimmy.

  “Jesse and I still give music lessons, mostly to kids in Sea Breeze who can’t afford it.”

  “That’s awesome.”

  “My parents started that program way back when we were little kids, and we’ve kept up that tradition along with lending support to the high school band. We repair and provide instruments to kids who can’t afford them.”

  “Jimmy, that’s so wonderful. It sometimes seems that high schools care more about sports than about the arts.”

  “I agree, but we make sure it isn’t that way here in Sea Breeze. Jesse is actually more involved than me at the store, but we pretty much kept it just like it was when we were kids, in honor of my parents.” He gave her a sad smile. “Sometimes I expect my dad to come around the corner at the store, whistling a song. Telling a silly joke that would still make us laugh.” He closed his eyes for a second. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to go there either.”

  “No, don’t apologize,” Maggie said, surprising herself. She wondered if the wine had loosened her tongue or if she just felt more at ease. “Getting to know each other means opening up. That goes for you too. Okay?”

  “Not a problem. I was actually holding back on telling you some things because —”

  “You didn’t want me to know who you were when you thought I didn’t.”

  Plucking another grape, Jimmy shrugged. “Yeah, so I’m guilty too. I could have pressed the subject sooner. Just tossed it out there.”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  “I got the impression it would push you away. Maggie, please tell me that the boy-band thing will no longer keep you from me.”

  “I’ll try. I’m still wrapping my brain around this, Jimmy.”

  “This, meaning … us?” His gaze didn’t waver from hers, and she knew he was serious, hopeful.

  Maggie’s pulse pounded at the thought, but she gave him a slight, shy nod.

  “Ah …” Jimmy smiled. “Progress. See, I’m close to my brothers, but I tend to clam up and pour my emotion into my music. You have me wanting to open up to you too, even about the pain of losing my parents, something I rarely talk about.” His smile faded. “I’m a good listener, but with you, tonight, I want to share everything.” He held her gaze, seeming to convey that he wanted to get more serious.

  “You shared a lot when you opened the door.”

  Jimmy tossed his head back and roared with laughter. “That was unexpected. Damn, you’re good for me.”

  “I learned a long time ago to use humor as a way of coping. Granny Mags could have my mo
m and me in stitches even when things were pretty tough.”

  “Ah. I’d like to meet your granny Mags and your mom. Will they come to visit soon?”

  “When the weather gets cold in Cleveland, I’m going to insist they come for an extended visit. I wish I could just move them here, but Mom loves her house. But I miss them … and Granny Mags’s antics.”

  “Laughter is the best medicine?”

  “It was pretty much our only medicine, but yeah. And I think her humor helped her get through her pain too. So tell me more about the music store.”

  Jimmy grinned as if eager to share. “Jesse is a huge vinyl collector, so we also have a great selection of records, if you’re into that sort of thing.”

  Maggie smiled. “I don’t have a record player, but I’d love to own one. Granny Mags had a wonderful collection and I grew up listening to Sinatra, Motown, the Beatles—lots of oldies.”

  “Sweet! I’ll help you put together a kick-ass system. Jesse can get anything you want on vinyl.”

  “I love anything vintage.”

  “Then I’ll have to take you to his house. It’s like traveling back into a 1960s surf shack.”

  “Really? I adore old beach-party movies! I watched tons of them with Granny Mags and Mom. They’re both die-hard Elvis fans.”

  “Then you’ll love his place.”

  “It sounds amazing.” Maggie felt a rush of pleasure that Jimmy wanted to take her to his family music store and to meet his brothers. Still, she reminded herself, she had to take this one day at a time—she couldn’t freak out over getting involved with the boy of her dreams. But just as quickly as she had started to accept that maybe something could actually happen between them …

  “Maggie?”

  She looked over at him in the semidarkness. “Yes?” she asked softly.

  Jimmy stood up so quickly that he nearly toppled the tray of snacks. He took three long strides over to her. “This … Just this.” He pulled her up into his arms and kissed her—and it wasn’t some tender, sweet kiss. Oh no, he threaded his long fingers into her hair, tilted her head back, and explored her mouth as if he’d been away for a long time and they’d just reunited in a sweeping, epic movie finale. Unable to not respond, Maggie wrapped her arms around him and melted against him, kissing him back with a pent-up passion that exploded like the cork from a bottle of champagne. Her eager response seemed to fuel Jimmy’s ardor and he pulled her closer, kissed her deeper. The kiss went on and on, hungry, then sweet, slow, and undeniably … hot.

  Maggie’s body responded to his bare chest against the soft cotton of her thin shirt. She let her hands slide down his back, loving the smooth skin and the delicious ripple of muscle when he moved. She wanted to slowly explore him everywhere. Mmm … mercy, he could kiss like no other. Her brain flipped back to the sexy sight of his naked body (she had not only looked at his face, sorry, not sorry) and she wanted to tug his shorts off in one swift yank. And then …

  “Yap, yap, yap-yap.”

  Trixie’s high-pitched bark sliced through Maggie’s sex-fogged brain and she went statue-still. She pulled her mouth from Jimmy’s and, with a little moan, pressed her forehead against his chest.

  “I couldn’t wait one more second to kiss you,” Jimmy said in a husky tone, and she had the urge to shower his chest with kisses, taste his skin. Desire, hot and strong, had her inhaling a sharp breath.

  “I think Trixie wants some attention.”

  “I can’t take my attention away from you.” Jimmy’s chuckle vibrated against her forehead and he wrapped his arms around her in a sweet embrace. “Maggie, you can fight this chemistry, this friendship, this bond, whatever you want to call it, but it’s a losing battle. Like it or not, we’re drawn to each other in more ways than I can count.”

  “I’m still trying to get used to … you, and then you had to go and talk about your brothers. Heartbeat.”

  “Oh, speaking of my brothers, did I mention that Grady’s having a cookout next weekend? Would you want to go with me?”

  “What?” Wow, his chest smelled good. She wanted to give his warm skin a tiny lick.

  “Or would you like to head over to Oliver’s to hang out at his tiki bar sometime this week? Play some records? Lounge by his pool?”

  Maggie moaned. Of course she would … but no!

  “How about taking you with me to Tennessee when Heartbeat does a benefit concert for my mom’s foundation? Most likely in the fall. I’m told it’s gorgeous there that time of year.”

  “You’re taking giant leaps.”

  “I can’t stop myself.”

  “I don’t know …”

  “Will you be touring, giving talks anytime soon?”

  “No, I’m still writing the next book, so not so much for a while.”

  “Well then? Is that a yes?”

  “To which one? You’re doing some serious mind-blowing here.”

  Jimmy laughed. “So you’re interested?”

  Maggie’s heart pounded so fast she had to cling to Jimmy. “Yeah, but—”

  “But we haven’t gone on a real date yet? I know. I’ll fix that. Oh, and you haven’t cooked me the dinner you owe me yet. I know that too. Get ready for your calendar to be filled.” He pulled back and grinned at her. “Pencil me in everywhere.”

  Maggie looked up at him. “I thought you were the quiet, shy Heart brother.”

  Jimmy gave her a light but lingering kiss. “Apparently not. When it comes to you, all bets are off.” He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “This being-out-of-my-comfort-zone thing feels damned good. So, what do you say?” he persisted.

  “To what?”

  “All of the above?”

  “Slow down, you’re making my head spin. Have you forgotten I’ve been hiding from you?”

  Grabbing her beneath the arms, Jimmy spun her in a circle. “Not anymore. Squash that nonsense.” He spun her faster.

  “That’s worse!” she shouted, but laughed.

  “Good. I want to keep you a little off-balance, keep things interesting,” he said. Without warning, her feet left the ground.

  Maggie gave a shriek of surprise that alerted Trixie that something big was going down. “You’re serious about the off-balance thing.”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Yap!” Trixie cocked her head, as if unable to discern whether this was normal human behavior.

  “Where are you taking me?” Maggie asked, breathless, excited, and totally turned on.

  “Anywhere you want to go and to do whatever you want to do.”

  “Wow.” Maggie looped her arms around his neck. “I get a wish list?”

  “Yes, and I will grant you every one of them on it,” Jimmy promised in a husky voice that made one very sexy wish slide into her brain. And then another, and another …

  “Take me to my place,” she said in a smoky tone filled with suggestion. “And grant my first wish.”

  “You got it.”

  “Trixie will be more comfortable there.”

  “As you wish.”

  “If that’s a Princess Bride reference …”

  “Yep.”

  Maggie sighed. Oh man, she was such a goner.

  “Did I just score more points?”

  “Slam dunk.”

  “Sports reference?” Jimmy raised his eyebrows. “This keeps getting better.”

  “Granny Mags was a sports nut. Loves the Cleveland Cavs and the Browns and Indians, so I learned the rules or I would have been bored stiff.”

  “Ah, so you’re rather well-rounded.”

  “I suppose,” she said, and then chuckled. “Especially my butt.”

  “You’re perfect,” Jimmy said as he walked toward his door with Trixie trotting after them.

  “Far from—” she began, but Jimmy stopped in his tracks and silenced her protest with a long, hot kiss that would have buckled her knees if he hadn’t been carrying her.

  Maggie had never run a marathon, but she pretty much thought this was how
hard her heart would be beating at a finish line. Well, if she made it to the finish line. If she were running, something, like a clown perhaps, would likely be chasing her. When fear had the nerve to sneak in, she kicked its butt. Bam! Get outta here.

  But this time, Maggie embraced the sizzling excitement of being swept up in Jimmy’s arms, especially since he carried her with such ease. And hot damn, he kissed like no other.

  Maggie didn’t know where the night would take them …

  Okay, who was she kidding.

  She had her growing wish list ready.

  And she knew just where to begin.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  I CAN FEEL YOUR HEARTBEAT

  When they entered Maggie’s condo, Jimmy’s pulse pounded much the same way it did before the opening of a Heartbeat concert. Anticipation collided with a touch of fear that accompanied each beat of his racing heart. Unlike the last time they’d nearly spontaneously made love, this felt right, and he was more than ready for this next step in their relationship.

  Maggie’s head remained resting against his shoulder, but Jimmy could feel the rapid rise and fall of her chest. From what she’d shared with him, he knew this was a huge leap of faith for her, and he wanted this to be a night she’d never forget. While he never took sleeping with a woman lightly, making love to Maggie felt like a whole new level of emotional responsibility.

  “Where to?” Jimmy asked, not wanting to be so presumptuous as to head straight toward her bedroom.

  Maggie lifted her head from his shoulder. “Well, first, you can put me down, you sexy beast.”

  “Sexy beast, huh?”

  “Yes, and since you’re always shirtless, I think I’ll start calling you Tarzan.”

  “Well, it is a jungle out there. And I did rescue Trixie from a snake, but I might have to draw the line at wearing a loincloth.”

  “Hmmm …” Maggie tapped her fingertip to his nose. “I seem to recall a promise to fulfill my every wish. My deepest desires.”

  “Did I say that?”

  Maggie arched an eyebrow. “Having second thoughts?”