I'm Only Here for the Beard

by Lani Lynn Vale

  “We’re ready,” Tommy Tom said. “What do you want us to do?”

  That was the good thing about a club. They had your back, with no questions asked.

  One of our own called, and we dropped everything to make sure he didn’t have to face shit alone.

  Chapter 20

  If you have to talk out of your ass, at least stand up. I simply cannot tolerate mumbling.

  -E-card

  Naomi

  I was staring at the door, wondering what in the hell I was doing.

  The clubhouse was full—of women.

  Only two men remained, Fender, a man I hadn’t gotten to know that well yet, but he seemed nice. And then there was Jessie James. Jessie, I really didn’t know, but that was in deference to my man. I didn’t want Sean to think I was trying to make friends with him. Especially not after his previous girlfriend left him for Jessie.

  Really, I wanted to be anywhere but here right now, especially with what had been going on behind my closed door for the last thirteen minutes and thirty-three seconds.

  I knew the exact time because I’d been lying in bed, staring at the clock, wondering when Sean would call and let me know that he was all right when the party had started.

  Well, I called it a party…Ellen and Jessie might call it a ‘fight.’

  To-may-toe, to-mah-toe and all that fun shit.

  “Seriously, it’s like you don’t even care,” Ellen hissed. “You don’t care what kind of a mess you left me in ten years ago. All you care about is your own fucking self. You don’t even have the balls to pursue me. I left Sean for you. I liked Sean. But the minute you showed up, my whole freakin’ world changed. I couldn’t lie to Sean. I couldn’t continue to live that lie. I’ve loved you since we were freshmen in high school. That’s fifteen years, Jessie!”

  Whoa. There was more to this than met the eye.

  “You don’t think I know that, Ellie?” Jessie countered. “You don’t think that was the hardest decision of my life? Because, let me just tell you something. It was. I regret that mistake every single second that I fucking breathe. Seeing you that first day I pledged to the club, it broke me. I was holding on by a thread, and there you come, waltzing right back into my life when I was barely breathing to begin with.”

  That was deep. Really deep.

  And it sucked, because I was beginning to feel sorry for the two of them. Before, I’d hated them on principle, and now I was literally on the edge of the fence, leaning heavily toward sorrow and pity for the two people that had known each other in another life. One before Sean.

  Jessie had obviously been in there with his ‘Ellie’ way before even Sean realized.

  Poor guy never stood a chance.

  Not that I was complaining.

  If he had, I wouldn’t be in his bed right now, curled around his pillow and wearing his t-shirt because it smelled like him.

  My phone buzzed, and I looked down, grimacing when I saw that it was work.

  Again.

  Shit.

  “Hello?” I answered.

  “If either you or Sean don’t come in tonight, you’re both fired.”

  That was my boss, Steve. Good ol’ Steve.

  “I already told you that we’re both down with food poisoning,” I lied for the second time that night.

  Steve was a bastard. There was no fucking way in the world he would’ve just accepted ‘we’re not coming in.’ He would need a good excuse, and if it wasn’t good, then we’d both be docked points. And we were only allowed fifteen points before we were up for review. And if we accrued any more while we were under ‘review’ then there was the option that we may be fired.

  It was bullshit, and something that sucked, but it was what it was.

  “I’m sorry, Steve,” I started to say, but stopped when he interrupted me.

  “Cline and Maran were in an accident. Medic six is totaled. We need someone here, and it doesn’t matter if you’re throwing up. It’s only in the worst-case scenario that we’ll use the medic we’re putting you on. It’s the backup’s backup, and something we don’t want to use unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

  “Shit,” I whispered under my breath. “Sean can’t come. He’s too sick, but I can be there in about half an hour.”

  If I pushed it.

  I’d have to borrow one of the girl’s cars, or have them take me.

  Either way, I wasn’t going to leave him hanging.

  “Are Cline and Maran okay?” I asked worriedly.

  “Yes,” he said. “Shaken up. Cline has a few possible broken ribs, and Maran has a seatbelt bruise, but it could’ve been worse.”

  Yes, it could have. I’d been in something much worse when at the Kilgore Fire Department that had almost killed me while I was working an accident as a student paramedic.

  PD had saved me. If he hadn’t, I’d have been a flattened pancake who never had to worry about anything again.

  “You paying attention, woman, or do I need to fire you?”

  I gritted my teeth.

  “I’ll be there.”

  Then I hung up, because I didn’t like talking to Steve. Steve was a douche on a good day. Today, he was a used douche.

  One that I couldn’t stand and who Sean couldn’t either.

  Sighing, I got up and walked to the small overnight bag that I’d left here two weeks ago and dug inside, unearthing a pair of my work pants, a white wife beater, and a white shirt.

  Dressed for work, I opened my door as quietly as I could, thankful that nobody realized what I was doing. Because if they had, they definitely would’ve stopped me.

  Ellen’s dejected face was the first thing I saw as she headed for the door, and I stopped her by calling her name quietly.

  “Ellen.”

  She froze, looking at me with tears in her eyes, and smiled sadly.

  “Yeah?”

  “Do you think you could take me to work?”

  She eyed my clothes, then nodded as one single tear slipped down her cheek.

  “Yes, I think I can manage that before I go.”

  “Go?” I asked as I came up to her side.

  She didn’t reply, she just opened the door and headed outside to her car.

  She pulled open the door on her side, then popped the trunk.

  “There’s not much room in the back,” she said as she did. “It’s full of clothes and stuff.”

  I stowed my stuff in the trunk, but didn’t comment about the boxes I could see packed in the back.

  Instead, I walked around to the passenger door and dropped inside before giving her directions to my work.

  She started driving, and the silence started to grow.

  I let my mind wander, not wanting to care about this woman, but finding it increasingly harder not to do so.

  I’d started making grocery lists in my head. When I got to dog food, I froze.

  “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” I groaned. “Could we please go by Sean’s place? I left Butterfinger all by herself, and she needs to go out or she’ll pee all over the place, and then Sean will have a reason to get rid of her.”

  Ellen’s mouth twitched.

  “Yeah, I can do that.”

  We pulled into the driveway, and Ellen came to a stop next to Sean’s truck.

  I grinned.

  “I’ll take Sean’s truck,” I said. “Since we’re here now and all. You don’t have to wait.”

  Ellen smiled.

  “Sean wouldn’t let me drive his truck, you know.”

  My brows rose in surprise. I drove his truck whenever the hell I felt like it, and he didn’t give a shit.

  “Because he didn’t want you to, or because you didn’t want to?” I questioned.

  Her look was unreadable.

  “You got in there way deeper than I ever did,” she said softly. “And likely that was because I was already guarding my heart because of Jessie. Whatever the reason, I’m g
lad he found you. You two seem great together, and he deserves something fantastic.”

  With that, she put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway, leaving me there to contemplate the hatred that was quickly dissipating toward her.

  Shaking my head, I jogged up to the house, where I could already hear Butterfinger barking, and tapped in the key code on the garage door, causing it to open.

  I’d just placed my hand on the door knob and pushed it open when something hit me from behind. Something hard. Something so hard that I saw stars in the backs of my eyes.

  I crumpled to the ground, and Butterfinger came barreling out the door so fast and stealthily that the attacker who was in the process of hitting me again never saw her coming.

  The man cursed.

  Chapter 21

  Boobs are my favorite part of the day.

  -Sean’s secret thoughts

  Sean

  “What do you mean she left?” I growled. “You were supposed to keep all the women there at the clubhouse.”

  “I didn’t know she left. I was using the bathroom. Came back in to find Ellen gone. Didn’t think to even look for Naomi until thirty minutes later when she didn’t come down for the game the girls wanted to play with her.”

  “Did you check my place?”

  Jessie grunted. “On the way there now. Though the cops might beat me there.”

  “How long has she been gone?” I asked. “Who took her?”

  “Ellen.”

  One word had the power to make anger ignite in my blood.

  “And who the fuck told Ellen she could leave?”

  Jessie didn’t say anything for a really long moment, and I knew without confirmation that he was the one who caused her to leave.

  “She and I had a fight. She left when I was in the bathroom.”

  “Jesus Christ,” I hissed. “Find out where she is and call me back.”

  I turned back around, realizing that I now had the attention of all the men at my side.

  “What’s wrong?” Ghost rasped.

  He was edgy and twitching. And he was acting fucking wired, like something was about to happen that might very well change his life.

  “Naomi left with Ellen, and Jessie can’t find her.”

  “Well fuck,” Dad growled. “Do you want to turn around?”

  I shook my head.

  “No.”

  Though I was worried, I didn’t think it necessary to leave yet. We’d made good time to Louisiana, and now that we were here, I wanted to see whatever was broken that Ghost needed fixed.

  But when we arrived at the house, it was to find it entirely empty. No lights. No stuff. No car…no nothing.

  The house that had been so full of life a few weeks ago was now an empty shell. There was nothing there. Not even any trash.

  “Fuck, fuck, FUCK!” Ghost yelled.

  My eyes widened, and my gaze connected with Truth’s.

  Something passed between us, and I now realized that I had someone beside me who was just as worried about the man as I was.

  Fucking perfect.

  As if I wasn’t aware things could get any worse, my phone rang, pulling me back into the present.

  Fishing the phone out of my pocket, I placed it to my ear and said, “Hello?”

  “Fuck, man. There’s blood all over your garage. I haven’t been into the house yet, but it’s bad. You need to come back.”

  It’s bad. You need to come back.

  Those words echoed in my head for the next six hours.

  I didn’t stop. Not even for gas, which I needed.

  Badly.

  I was running on fumes as I pulled into the parking lot of the hospital.

  For expedience, I drove right up to the ambulance bay, parked my bike on the sidewalk that led to it, and sprinted inside.

  I’d gotten a call about thirty minutes in that had told me that Naomi had been found inside the house with the damn dog that hated me.

  Lucky for us that Naomi was aware long enough to get Butterfinger to calm the fuck down, or they would’ve had to tranquilize her to get her to stop protecting Naomi.

  The moment I made it into the ER, I was directed to a room by two nurses who knew exactly who I was. It was odd being on this end of the spectrum rather than being the one who gave the directions and information on a patient.

  “She’s in three.”

  I nodded at Rainey, one of the nurses and then walked to the curtained off area. The only curtain that was closed in the entire ER.

  The soft fabric of the curtain felt rough in my hands as I pushed it back slowly, and what I saw took my breath away.

  I bent over, my hands on my knees, as I tried to breathe to stop the vomit that threatened to rise up my throat.

  “Seanshine.”

  Her rasping voice had me straightening, and I walked on stiff legs toward the bed where Naomi was looking at me through one swollen eye.

  The other was swollen shut, and she was likely unable to open it at all.

  “Hey, baby,” I rasped.

  “I’m fired.”

  I blinked.

  “Okay,” I said. “Why?”

  I was trying to follow her train of thought, but all I could think about was the way her face and every inch of skin I could see was a smattering of black, blue, and purple.

  Even her fingers were bruised.

  And those fingers also were missing fingernails.

  The nausea grew.

  “Our lovely boss called and told me that the crew that took over for us was in an accident. That either I came in or we were both fired.”

  My mouth thinned at her rasped words, and I wanted to kill that mother fucker. Slowly, with my bare hands.

  “And you went in?” I guessed.

  That had to be the reason she left.

  “Yeah,” she nodded, swallowing hard when the movement caused something to hurt.

  Likely everything.

  She was quiet for a long minute while she composed herself, and then she turned and looked at me with apologetic eyes.

  “I didn’t mean to do this.”

  I moved, placing one hand on the side of her face. My fingertips barely grazed her hair, and she moved her cheek into my palm despite it having to hurt.

  “I know you didn’t mean to do it, baby,” I said. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

  “Butterfinger saved me.”

  I knew that.

  “Guess she’s allowed to stay.”

  A quiet laugh left Naomi’s lips, and then the curtain was drawn aside.

  “Sean.”

  I turned to find Tommy Tom, doctor’s coat on over his fucking blue jeans, standing next to another doctor who was new and who I hadn’t had the chance to become acquainted with.

  “Yeah?” I asked.

  He gestured for me to come out while a nurse took my spot.

  “She’s going to give Naomi some more meds to get her settled down and resting comfortably. She apparently refused anything until you arrived so she could speak to you coherently.”

  That made my gut knot.

  It also sounded exactly like something she’d say and do.

  The minute I was out of earshot, Tommy Tom gestured to the doctor at his side. “This is Dr. Mishvele.”

  I nodded at him.

  “She’s fine.”

  My brows rose.

  He held up his hand.

  “Despite the bruises, we believe that nothing is broken. She has some broken skin on her hands that were likely defensive wounds. The baby is all right, though we’re monitoring that closely just in case…”

  His words were lost on me as the words ‘the baby’ replayed over and over through my head.

  Tommy Tom, realizing I’d zoned out, smiled a knowing smile, and held his hand up for Mishvele to stop.

  “How do you know about the baby so Sean here can get his head wrapped around it? By the
look on his face, it’s likely he didn’t know about the baby.”

  Mishvele’s eyebrows lifted. “Blood tests confirm. Based on the hormone levels in her blood, I’m assuming she’s at least eight weeks, if not more, along.”

  My mouth dropped open.

  That would mean that it had to be the very first time we had sex that she conceived.

  At least that time we’d worn condoms.

  Jesus.

  “Okay.”

  I was so fucking dumbfounded.

  Had Naomi known?

  I immediately shook that thought off. No, she hadn’t known. If she had, I would’ve known.

  “Other than the outward appearance, she was a very lucky woman.”

  Lucky…yeah, if you wanted to call getting beaten black and blue lucky.

  “Thank you, Dr. Mishvele. Are they going to be moving her out of the ER soon?”

  He nodded, then rattled off a room number in a unit two floors up.

  Woodenly, I walked back into the room and dropped down on the side of Naomi’s bed as carefully as I could so I wouldn’t disturb her sleep.

  Then I stared at her for a few long minutes, my mind going a hundred miles an hour.

  It was about twenty minutes later that I was kicked out so she could be moved, and since she was going to a floor that didn’t allow visitors except during visiting hours, I wasn’t allowed to go with her until they got her settled into her room.

  Meaning I had time to fume.

  Chapter 22

  I don’t like who I become when left alone with a bag of Butterfinger minis.

  -Sean’s secret thoughts

  Sean

  I looked down at my woman.

  She looked so broken. Bruised and hurt.

  She was so still. I hadn’t heard her voice since she’d been moved, and I wanted to so badly I could taste it.

  I wanted to scream.

  I wanted to cry out, yell about the injustice of it all.

  I didn’t, though.

  Instead, I calmly bent down and placed a kiss on the one area of Naomi’s cheek that wasn’t covered in ugly purple bruises before I turned and walked out.

  My hands were fisted at my sides, and with each step that I took, my adrenaline started pumping.