I'm Only Here for the Beard

by Lani Lynn Vale

  “What?” he snapped.

  “I want to ride your bike with you!”

  He was already shaking his head.

  “Sean, I’m not spun glass. You can’t treat me like I’m an infant who’s going to fall over and bump her head around every turn. Treat me like an adult! Please!” I cried out, waving my hand with the dust rag around as I spoke, causing dust particles to float in the air around us.

  He waved the dust away from his face.

  “Naomi…”

  I shook my head. “No. Just no. You either let me ride on the back of your bike, or I’m going to stay with my mom for a few days.”

  “You will not be going there alone.”

  I was done. So fucking done.

  “And, in case you forgot, Walton Whitley is in a medical facility with brain damage. He literally can do nothing to me. If I want to drive six hours to my mother’s house, I’ll damn well drive six hours to my mother’s house.”

  “We’ll go to your mother’s house this weekend just like we planned,” he growled. “And this has nothing to do with Whitley.”

  Yeah, right.

  I’d learned over the last four months what, exactly, Sean had done to the man that was my attacker. He’d punched him in the face for what he had done to me.

  Since he’d been what they deemed as ‘stable’ when he was in the hospital, he wasn’t wearing as many of the monitors as he had been. So, sometime after Sean had gone in there and punched him in the nose, the man had started to vomit. He’d suffered irreparable brain damage when he choked on his own vomit. Nobody really knew what had happened for sure since he’d been alone.

  I doubted that Sean had noticed that he was in any trouble when he’d left.

  Not that I would blame Sean for not helping the man, even if he had known.

  I wouldn’t have.

  Needless to say, the man was in a permanent care facility for inmates, and would be for the rest of his life due to his brain damage suffered from lack of oxygen.

  That, I knew, because I’d gone for a visit that Sean still had no clue about and had seen for myself that this man would never be a threat to me again.

  A man whose reasons for what he did to me I still didn’t know, and I probably never would.

  Chapter 25

  Life has never given me lemons. It’s given me anger issues, a love for alcohol, high blood pressure, and an extreme dislike of stupid people.

  -Sean’s secret thoughts

  Sean

  I was on my motorcycle, Naomi plastered to my back as happy as she could be, trying not to speed. I was hyperaware. I was freaked way the fuck out, and I didn’t want to be riding on my bike with her.

  Not because I didn’t want her to be there, but because I did.

  I liked the way she felt with her body plastered to mine. I liked the way her hair flowed all around us, filling my nostrils with the smell of her.

  And honestly, the way her hips were sucked up against my ass made me want to flip her around and fuck her.

  God, I was going to hell. I was seriously going to hell.

  She wasn’t ready. Not yet. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if she never would be.

  But when she dropped her hands to my lap, I nearly drove us off the road.

  I’d never, ever been so happy to see my father pull up beside me as I was then.

  He didn’t say anything to Naomi, but she moved her hands away and looked at my dad.

  I was sure her face was flaming.

  And as we pulled up in front of the clubhouse, two minutes later, I was trying hard not to laugh when I saw the pink tinging Naomi’s cheeks.

  It made me feel good that she knew what she’d done and that she still wanted to do it.

  Maybe not as badly as I wanted to do it, but it was progress nonetheless.

  “Boy,” Dad said. “You’re late.”

  I was.

  I’d had a fight with Naomi for fifteen minutes, then had to shower and change, before we headed over here.

  And that made us over forty-five minutes late.

  Luckily, we’d done a lot of the preparations last night, meaning today all we had to do was set the food out and get to cooking the briskets for the annual Dixie Wardens party that we hosted.

  Each year, all the chapters got together and had a reunion of sorts. Really it was just a reason to get drunk, eat food, and spend time with extended family. This year there we expected a bigger turnout than in previous years as more people had joined the club and some had married and would be bringing with them their extended families.

  So, there’d be plenty of new faces whose acquaintance I hadn’t yet made, and a lot of them were already here, mingling with the other members who were also here early.

  And though I knew they were all friendly, because they wouldn’t be invited by the rest of the club if they weren’t, it still made me nervous to let my woman go off in the midst of all of these unknowns.

  “Bye, baby,” Naomi said as she kissed my bearded cheek. “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”

  Then she was gone, and my father was laughing at me.

  “How about you go fuck yourself,” I growled.

  My father’s lips thinned as he tried to stop himself from laughing, but I knew he was doing it on the inside despite the fake façade on the outside.

  “Fuckin’ A.”

  Then I lost myself in the crowd, heading toward the back porch so I could help the boys get started on cooking the briskets.

  ***

  My heart was in my throat as I looked around the immediate area for my woman.

  “She’s over there.” That was Ghost.

  Ghost who hadn’t been the same since that night, four months ago, when he discovered his family missing.

  I looked over to where Ghost had pointed and felt my lungs start to work again.

  “Thanks,” I started forward, then stopped. “You okay?”

  He nodded his head, tipped his beer up to his lips, and took a deep pull.

  “Fuckin’ fantastic.”

  I didn’t reply, taking the words for what they were.

  A ‘go the fuck away.’

  The man had found his wife and child not even a few days after that terrible night that we’d found Naomi hurt, and she had moved in next door to the man who Ghost had told to move.

  We all knew it wasn’t a coincidence, and Ghost was fighting with himself on whether he should intervene.

  I figured it was just a matter of time before it all blew up, and Ghost either did something incredibly stupid or something incredibly smart.

  Either way, Ghost would get back what he’d lost, and the entire fucking club would be happy.

  Though, I noticed, he was staying out of sight tonight, and I had a feeling it had a lot to do with not wanting to be recognized by another chapter that was here tonight.

  Speaking of other chapters, I started toward a man who had one green and one blue eye and was busy chatting my woman up animatedly.

  His words were light-hearted, and I knew the man was happily married, but it still drove me absolutely nuts to see Naomi talking to some man who wasn’t me.

  “Sean!”

  My eyes went to Naomi’s face, and I relaxed slightly.

  “Thought you were in the kitchen, baby,” I said.

  Her smile was spectacular.

  “I was, but then I saw this man.” She gestured toward Trance. “I heard he has a litter of puppies.”

  My brows rose.

  “A litter of puppies that cost about four thousand dollars a pop,” I informed her.

  “Oh, no,” Naomi said excitedly. “Trance here tells me there’s a runt of the litter, one he doesn’t think will thrive in police work, and he offered him to me for free!”

  Bullshit.

  My eyes narrowed on Trance.

  There was no way in hell that Trance would get rid of one of his dogs, even one of the r
unts, for free.

  “Is that so?” I drawled.

  Naomi nodded excitedly. “Yes! And he said I could have him. All I had to do was come pick him up!”

  “Do you really think Butterfinger, the shithead, will allow you to have another dog?”

  Naomi nodded. “Yes. She plays well with others. Brady made sure of that.”

  I watched as Naomi’s features went soft as she thought about her old friend.

  Brady’s murderer was confirmed to be Walton Whitley after his DNA was found at the scene. Apparently, the old man had put up quite the fight.

  I smiled as I remembered the proud man.

  Brady had left everything he had to us. His house. His car. His substantial nest egg. Everything he had to give, he gave to us. We’d expected his money would go to his son, but we were wrong—it hadn’t. Apparently, they hadn’t spoken in a very, very long time.

  Of everything that Brady had left us, believe it or not, what I was most thankful for was Butterfinger.

  Though the bitch was a bitch, pure and simple, I wouldn’t trade her for a damn thing in this entire world. She’d saved my woman’s life, and she’d brought her back from the brink of despair and had generally been one of the best dogs I’d ever had the privilege of meeting.

  “Then we’ll get him,” I said resolutely. “Trance, we can stop by on the way home from Naomi’s mother’s next weekend, if that’s okay.”

  Trance nodded once, and I gave him a look that clearly said I would be paying for the dog.

  His lips twitched, and he likely would’ve said more had he not been called by his wife, who was having trouble with her struggling child.

  “Can you please, for the love of God, take this kid so I can help the ladies get dinner on the table?”

  Trance took the kid, he had to be about four or five now, and waved his wife on.

  “Go on, I got him,” he said. “Don’t forget to save me some of that bread you made. You know how fast it goes.”

  She gave him a thumb’s up and walked away without answering.

  “Guess that’s my cue, too,” she said, getting up on her tippy toes and pressing a kiss to my jaw. “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”

  I grunted.

  “That’s what you said last time.”

  She batted her eyes at me, and had she been slower, I would’ve caught her and told her just what I thought of that attitude of hers.

  But she was fast, and showed not one ounce of pain any longer from the injuries she’d suffered, flouncing away as she tossed me a smile over her shoulder.

  I was left, standing there, and watching Trance deal with his handful of a child, wishing that I could have that, too.

  But it wouldn’t be any time soon…if at all.

  ***

  My heart was still in my throat fifteen minutes later as I found my way to the secluded corner of the yard. Hoping for some peace and quiet as I tried to get my heart to let go of the past and move on.

  Not many people knew this was here since it was so dark and far away, and that was the exact thing I was looking for right then.

  I was startled to see one of the two chairs occupied, but I sat down anyway, tipped my beer to my lips, and drank.

  I wasn’t really sure how the hell we got to talking, but I found myself telling the stranger, though he was a familiar stranger who I couldn’t quite place, all about my fears and worries.

  “I can’t fucking breathe when she drives away from me,” I told this man who I didn’t even know. “Every time I watch her walk toward her car, I have a fuckin’ panic attack that she’s not going to come back.”

  The man grunted.

  “WW was a fucking douche. If he weren’t already close to dead, I’d kill him for you.”

  My brows lifted.

  “Who?”

  His smile was small, but there.

  “WW. The man responsible for hurting your wife.”

  I was too stunned over the fact that this man knew Walton Whitley to correct him on Naomi being my wife.

  “How do you know him?” I asked, stiffening slightly.

  The man offered me his hand.

  “I’m Dante, the owner of Hail Auto Recovery.”

  “Dante Hail. The president of the Hail Raisers,” I droned. “I know who you are.”

  “Unofficial president,” he corrected. “We’re not a true club, just recreational. That’s just what we’re called.”

  I shrugged. “Brothers are brothers, man. You don’t have to call the club a club, but you are what you are. If it walks like a dog, acts like a dog, looks like a dog, it’s a fuckin’ dog.”

  Dante Hail was the man that everyone in the room was talking about tonight. He was a friend of the Benton chapter’s president, Silas Mackenzie. And another member’s wife, Ruthie had been best friends with Dante’s wife. Until his wife had died about six months ago in a car crash, along with their two children.

  Dante had, apparently, gone off the deep end. Even now he was obviously not in the best of shape. Hence the reason for him being in the dark part of the clubhouse backyard, sitting with me for over thirty minutes before either one of us had spoken.

  “Walton Whitley was one of the longest standing employees that I had, but he was also in an accident about two years ago. Took his wife and kids.” His voice broke on the last three words, and I suddenly wanted to be anywhere but here.

  Dante, this big bruiser of a man, was utterly broken.

  “I can’t say that I would do the same if I found someone who looked like my wife,” he cleared his throat. “But I can see it now. I can see it, and I feel like utter shit. But I can see it.”

  “God. They had the same color hair. The same color eyes. The same fucking smile,” Dante’s voice cracked as he remembered.

  I said nothing.

  There was nothing to say.

  “Take it from me,” Dante’s voice cracked. “Don’t waste a second.”

  My heart caught as I heard the emotion in the man’s voice. Even though I couldn’t see him, I knew that he was on the verge of tears.

  I took his words to heart, though.

  The moment I got my woman alone tonight, I was done wasting time.

  I was going to have her back, and I was going to make her mine forever and always.

  Chapter 26

  Skinny girls shouldn’t be in charge of the thermostat. You need a middle-aged woman, thirty pounds overweight, with hot flashes named Bertha.

  -Rules to live by

  Naomi

  I looked at Sean warily.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  In answer, he wrapped his arms around me and placed a wet kiss on my mouth.

  Then he pushed me onto the bed and walked away from me, disappearing into the closet.

  “What…”

  He was back before I could ask him more, and in his hand was a black box that looked like a ring box.

  “Sean…”

  He dropped down to his knee in front of me, and I forgot how to freakin’ breathe.

  “Sean…”

  “Naomi, two years ago, I didn’t believe that I’d ever be here,” he said softly, looking down at the ring box that he had in his hand. “I’d been waiting to find the woman I was meant to spend my life with for so long, that I was starting to believe I’d never find her. I’d tried to give my heart away a few times, but no one seemed to want it. Now I know, though, that it was because all along it was meant for you. He looked up. “I didn’t know that you were out there, but you have the power to bring me to my knees. But now that I do know how my life can be with you, I don’t want to spend another minute without you being tied to me in every single way possible.”

  Tears started to burn my throat.

  “Sean…”

  “When you nearly died…when our baby was taken from us,” his voice broke. “I nearly followed you.”

  “Sean, no.” I lifted my
hand to cup his cheek.

  “I want to marry you. I want to have a family with you. I want to build our house, fill it with kids, and scream at them the way my dad and mom used to do to me.”

  A sob caught in my throat.

  “And I want you to be there with me, every step of the way.”

  I nodded, tears flowing freely down my cheeks.

  “Do you want my babies?” he asked. “I would understand if not after…”

  “Yes.” I placed a kiss on his mouth and pulled back, waiting to see what he said next.

  “Do you want to marry me?”

  I nodded my head.

  “Yes.”

  “Can we get married tomorrow?”

  I started to laugh.

  “Yes,” I said. “I can call my mom and Aspen right now. They’ll all come up here.”

  His eyes closed.

  “I love you, Naomi.”

  “I didn’t break, you know,” I said to him quietly.

  His eyes opened.

  “I didn’t break after we lost our baby, because of you. It was your strength, your love, that got me through. Yes, it still hurts sometimes, but I have you. There’s not a lot of room in here for pain, because you’ve filled it full with love.” I patted my chest, directly over my heart. “You fought off all my demons, and you replaced all my nightmares with hopes and dreams.”

  He held his arms open wide, and I launched myself into them.

  “Do I get to see the ring now?” I asked him, looking down at him from where I’d pushed him to the floor.

  He nodded and held up the box.

  I snatched it from him, opened it, and my breath caught.

  “It’s beautiful, Sean.”

  “It was my mother’s.”

  Tears ran uninhibited down my cheeks.

  “I love it.”

  He took the box out of my hand, slipped the ring from it, and then pushed it onto my finger.

  Where it would stay for the rest of our lives if I had anything to say about it.

  My eyes caught his, and I saw triumph in them before he hooked his hand around my neck, brought my lips to his, and finally, finally, kissed me like he meant it.

  Butterfinger growled from somewhere across the room, but I didn’t bother looking at her. This moment was mine and Sean’s, and I wouldn’t let her ruin it.