She looked at Parker, not knowing how to say that to him, or if she should. But like a married woman, she felt she owed it to him to explain her circumstances, as best she could. One way or the other, Christianna was married to the throne of Liechtenstein, and even if she was not eligible for the throne herself, she was bound to it nonetheless, and everything her father and countrymen expected of her. She felt she had to set an example of how royals behaved. In spite of her own conflicts about it, she was a princess to her core.
“You look so sad. Did I upset you?” Parker asked her, looking worried. He didn't want to do anything that didn't appeal to her, too. He had been smitten by her for weeks, but if she wasn't open to it, even if disappointed, he would have understood. He liked her too much to do anything that might make her unhappy or uncomfortable.
“No, of course not,” she said, smiling at him, her hand still resting in his. “You made me very happy,” she said simply, and it was true. The rest was not as simple. “It's hard to explain. All I can say is that whatever happens between us will end here.” It was the only way she could think of to say it. “I want to be fair, saying that to you now. The person I am here will have to disappear when I leave. There is no room for her once I go home. Once back in Liechtenstein, this will never be possible for us.” He looked worried as she said it. It was too early for them to worry about the future after one kiss, but he could sense that what she was saying had far deeper meaning to her.
“It sounds like you're going back to prison or the convent,” he said with a troubled look, and she nodded, drawing closer to him on the log, as though to hide in his arms. He put them around her and looked deep into her eyes to see what he could find there. They were two deep pools as blue as his.
“I am going back to prison,” she said somberly, it was exactly how she felt about it. “And when I do, I have to go back alone. No one can come with me.”
“That's ridiculous,” he said, chafing at what she told him. “No one can imprison you, Cricky. Unless you let them. Don't let that happen to you.”
“It already did.” The day she was born. And the day five years later when her dying mother extorted the promise from her husband that he would never allow Christianna to marry anyone but a royal.
“Let's not worry about that right now, shall we? We have lots of time to talk about that later on.” Parker was already determined that if he fell in love with her, as he was already starting to, he was not going to let her slip away from him. She was far too lovely and unusual a person for him to be pursuing just a fling. He wasn't asking her for her hand in marriage, but he was absolutely certain that he wasn't going to let her run away from him, no matter what she thought her obligations were to her father and the family business. It made no sense to him. And rather than arguing with her about it, he pulled her tightly into his arms again and kissed her, as Christianna felt she was slipping into a dream. She told herself that she had warned him, she had tried to be fair to him, or even warn him off. But having done that, she abandoned herself to his kiss, and had no desire whatsoever to resist.
Chapter 11
The romance that began between Parker and Christianna was at first invisible, and then it grew, as they got closer and more intimate, passionate, and discreet. It wasn't just a sexual adventure for either of them. They were falling in love. In fact, by May, they had fallen. Hard. They spent all their off-duty hours together, checked in with each other several times a day, sat together at every meal. Living as closely together as they did in the camp outside Senafe, it was inevitable that the shift in their relationship came to everyone's attention within weeks, if not days.
As usual, Fiona was the first one to observe it. She knew Christianna well by now, or so she thought, and she had a keen eye for human interchanges. She had thought Christianna was quieter these days, and less communicative. At first, she was afraid that she was getting sick. Sometimes it started that way. She had been watching her closely for several days, out of concern, several weeks into the romance, when she saw the two lovebirds walking back to camp after one of their afternoon strolls, and both were wearing happy faces and guilty grins. Fiona chuckled to herself and couldn't resist teasing Christianna about it that night.
“Here I thought you were coming down with malaria or kala azar, the black fever, and I was worried about you … and all it is is a bit of romance. Well, well, my little Cricky, spot on! Good on you!” Christianna blushed at first and was about to deny it, but after one look at the knowing expression in Fiona's eyes, all she could do was smile.
“All right, all right … it's not a big deal. It's just something nice for now.”
“The way you two look? Not likely, my dear. I've seen people leave on their honeymoon looking a lot less goo-goo-eyed than that. If a lion had come after the two of you today, I don't think either of you would have noticed … or even a snake!” she teased, and she wasn't far off the mark. Christianna had never been happier in her life, but she reminded herself every day that eventually it would have to end. And besides, he was going back to Harvard in June. They had two months to enjoy idyllic bliss in the magical setting where it had started, and then it would be over. It was something Christianna allowed herself to forget when she was with him.
“He's so wonderful,” Christianna confessed, looking like a little kid. Fiona was pleased. It was nice to see people happy, and she was thrilled for her friend.
“If looks are anything to go by, and I trust my instincts on this one, he's just as crazy about you. When did that all start?”
“A few weeks ago.” They had had a particularly nice time the night before Laure left. The camp gave her a party, and she had left looking like a different woman than the one who had arrived. She had cried when she embraced them all as she left, promising to stay in touch with all of them, particularly Cricky, whom she fully credited with giving her the courage to open her heart to Antoine. “I don't know. It just happened,” Christianna tried to explain. She wasn't even sure she could explain it to herself. She was truly in love for the first time.
And Parker said he was as well. He said he had had one serious romance in medical school, and lived with her for a while. She was a resident when he was an intern, but within a few months they had both figured out it was a mistake and parted friends. According to him, and Christianna believed him, there had never been anyone serious in his life, before or since. With the work he had undertaken at Harvard, he didn't have time. And now, in Senafe, he was discovering love for the first time, and so was she. It was written all over her face.
“Oh my God,” Fiona said, looking suddenly thunderstruck, “is this serious?” The look in Christianna's eyes, and Parker's when she'd seen them together that afternoon, said that it could be.
“No,” Christianna said firmly, looking sad. “It isn't. It can't be. I told him that when we started, before we started, I have to go home to my responsibilities. I could never live in Boston, and he can't come home with me. My father would never approve.” There wasn't even the remotest doubt of that on Christianna's face.
“Of a doctor?” Fiona looked shocked. Her parents would have been thrilled. “It sounds like he has unreasonably high standards to me.”
“Maybe he does,” Christianna answered quietly, just as she had said to Parker in similarly veiled terms. “But that's the way he is. He has many reasons for how he feels. It's complicated,” Christianna said sadly.
“You can't live your life for your father,” Fiona scolded her, upset by what she'd said, and her willingness to accept it unconditionally. “This isn't the dark ages, for heaven's sake. He's a wonderful man, he has a terrific job. He's trying to save the human race from the scourge of AIDS, at one of the most respected medical and academic institutions in the world. How much better does it get?”
“It gets better than that.” Christianna grinned, the dark clouds suddenly gone from her face. “He is also an incredibly decent, wonderful person, and I love him … and he loves me.” She looked totally m
ad about him.
“Then what nonsense are you talking about it having to end here?”
“That's a different story,” Christianna said with a sigh, as she sat down on her cot, and took off her boots. Once in a while, she really missed wearing pretty shoes. She would have liked to wear high heels for him, but there was no chance of it here. “It's too complicated to explain,” Christianna said again, and went on rhapsodizing about him, as Fiona looked amused.
“It sounds to me like you'd better run away from home when you get back. I hear Boston is a very nice place. I have relatives there,” which was no surprise to Christianna since everyone the world over knew that most of Boston was Irish. “If I were you, I would go.”
“He hasn't invited me,” Christianna said primly, but they talked about a vast range of topics, including their respective plans when they got back. Parker hated hearing about hers. It continued to sound like a prison sentence to him.
“He will,” Fiona said confidently. “He looked totally besotted when I saw you with him today. And come to think of it, he's looked like that for a while. I thought he was just overwhelmed by the unfamiliar surroundings and the work. Now I realize it was you.” They both laughed at the idea. “So what are you going to do about it, Cricky?” She gave her a searching look.
“It's way too soon to worry about that now.” But they both knew that, for whatever reason, Christianna was putting up some kind of wall, not between her and the young American doctor, but between them and any future they might have. Fiona had no idea why she was doing it, but it was clear that Christianna was convinced that their love affair could go no farther than the time they shared in Senafe. And thinking about it made Fiona sad. She liked both of them a lot.
The romance between Parker and Christianna flourished. They spent hours together at night after they had dinner with the others. They walked, they talked, they told each other stories about their childhoods and their pasts. Christianna always had to modify hers somewhat, for obvious reasons, but above all she shared the essence of what she felt, and her every thought. They met early in the mornings for breakfast, grabbed lunch together on the fly. The romance was in full bloom in May, as the African spring ended and moved toward summer, and no matter how in love they were, neither allowed it to interfere with their work. If anything, they worked harder, happier than each of them had ever been in their life. Together they were a force greater than even the sum of their parts that could not be ignored or denied. Being with either or both of them made everyone else happy, and everyone agreed that both were exceptional individuals who brought something special to the camp. Where Christianna had kindness, grace, compassion, and a remarkable way with people, Parker had gentleness, intelligence, and an extraordinary expertise in his field. Both of them bright, each of them funny, they added both spice and balm to every group they joined. As Fiona said, they were the perfect couple, but whenever she said it to Cricky, there was a sad look in her eyes. Something was stopping her from thinking about or talking about the future. All she was able or willing to do with Parker was live in the here and now. He had learned to stay off the subject of any future time with her, or what they would do about seeing each other when they went back. They simply lived day by day, more in love with each other by the hour, and happy sharing their work and their lives in this remarkable place, with people they loved so much.
Their relationship remained chaste for the first month, and then finally both Parker and Christianna asked if they could take a weekend off together. People rarely left the camp during their time off, although there were some wonderful places to visit in the area. But most of the time people who worked in the camp ended up spending time assisting the locals in their free time in whatever way they could. Geoff said he had no problem giving them a few days off, since neither of them was essential to the camp medically. Christianna was a willing, devoted and loving, hardworking spare pair of hands. And although Parker saw patients with Mary and Geoff and offered diagnoses frequently, most of his work was directed toward research. Fiona would have been much harder to spare as the only midwife. Or Mary or Geoff, as the two camp doctors, or Maggie, the only nurse.
After talking to people and doing a little local research, they decided to visit both Metera and Qohaito, which were both within twenty miles of the camp. Metera was known for its remarkable ruins, which were two thousand years old, and Qohaito had equally beautiful ruins, from the Aksumite kingdom. In addition, in Qohaito, they wanted to see the Saphira Dam, which was also over a thousand years old. Eritrea was sitting on the remains of a number of ancient civilizations, many of which had been partially excavated, and some of which had still been only minimally revealed. It sounded like an exciting trip to both of them. And a wonderful first adventure, almost like a honeymoon. They were told about a couple of tiny hotels where they could stay, which sounded very romantic. Klaus and Ernst had made several similar trips when they first came, and highly recommended it to Parker and Christianna. The other two trips they wanted to make later were to Keren, north of the capital, and to the port town of Massawa, where they could go water-skiing in the Red Sea.
The only obstacle Christianna had to deal with before the trip was a brief secret pow-wow with Samuel and Max. She knew she was going to have a serious problem leaving with Parker, without them. They argued about it for two hours, and neither of her bodyguards would relent.
“Why can't you just tell him that we'd like to go on the trip?” Samuel said with a determined look. They had been like bulldogs so far, but she knew they had to answer to the prince. And it wasn't fair to ask them to keep her secret, but she was doing it anyway. They were well aware that if anything untoward happened to her, even accidentally, they would be fully blamed, and perhaps even imprisoned. She was asking a lot of them, although they hadn't told her father about the romance yet. They had agreed between themselves to say nothing about Parker to the prince. It was their gift to her.
“No!” Christianna continued to argue with them. “I don't want anyone with us, and neither does he. It would spoil everything.” And Metera and Qohaito were only a few miles away from the camp. She was nearly in tears, and already had been twice, but they were relentless anyway. Their necks were on the line.
“Look, Your Highness.” Max turned to her finally, realizing it was time to be blunt with her. Nothing else had worked so far. “We don't care who you go with, what you do, what your reasons are for the trip. That's your business, and Parker's, not ours.” Fortunately, they were extremely fond of him, but she was asking them to risk their jobs, and worse, perhaps her life. “We're not going to give your father any details about the trip. Just a touristic weekend. He doesn't need to know more than that. But if we don't come along, and something happens to you …” He didn't finish his sentence, but she got the point. What he was saying was entirely reasonable. Living with it as a twenty-three-year-old woman in love with a man, was not.
“Why do you have to tell my father that I'm going, or even leaving the camp? And don't call me Your Highness again,” she reminded him, and he nodded. “There have been no political problems in Eritrea in years. The truce with the Ethiopians may be uneasy, but no one has done anything objectionable or even frightening since we've been here and long before. Nothing is going to happen, I promise you. Parker and I will be fine. I'll call you if I can, and if I feel uneasy, you can join us then. But please, I am begging you, let me have these few days, for once in my life. Max … Sam … this is truly my last chance. Once I go home, I will never have anything like this again … I'm begging you … please …” As she looked at them imploringly, tears ran down her cheeks, and both men looked agonized. They wanted to help her out, but were afraid.
“Let us think about it,” Samuel said finally, unable to think clearly in the face of her distress. They both liked her enormously, and respected her, but she was asking them to violate the conditions of their jobs, and their entire reason for being in Senafe with her.
Christianna walke
d away in silence, deeply disturbed. Fiona saw her as she walked back to the tent, obviously in tears.
“What's wrong?” She was instantly sympathetic as she put an arm around Cricky's shoulders. “Did you and Parker have a fight? Did you cancel the trip?” She couldn't tell her what had happened, she just shook her head in answer to Fiona's well-meaning questions. She didn't say anything to Parker either, but she was obviously subdued at dinner, and he was worried.
“Are you all right?” he asked her gently, and she had to fight back tears again. But she couldn't tell him what was happening, and didn't want to share with him the likelihood that Max and Sam would probably come on their trip, and in essence, ruin it for them. She didn't have the heart to tell him until she was sure. But she was almost certain now that neither guard would relent. There was just too much at stake for them, and potentially for her.
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