Looking grim, Geoff organized a search party, and assigned drivers to all their cars. Max drove one, Sam another, Ernst, Klaus, and Geoff jumped in the school bus. And Didier managed to start their worst and most unreliable car. Two of the women went with them, and at the last minute, Christianna jumped into the passenger seat beside Max. They had agreed to fan out, and comb the area, stopping at every house to see if she was there. Knowing Fiona, Christianna felt almost sure that she had done something like that. She was a practical, independent woman, and she wouldn't have spent the night in a car stuck in the mud. She would have gotten to a house and knocked on the door. She felt sure they would find her soon enough. Everyone in the area was so friendly. She was probably sitting cozily by the fire in one of their homes, until the rain stopped or she could get a ride back to the camp.
Max said nothing as they drove up one road and down another. They saw the school bus after a while, and conferred with the others. No one had seen anything, and the people in the houses where they stopped hadn't seen her either, although they all knew who she was.
They were out for well over two hours, and Max was still driving diligently, as Christianna looked intently at the side of the road. And then suddenly Max stopped. Something had caught his eye. He said nothing to Christianna, so as not to worry her unduly. He got out, ran through the rain, and then stopped. There she was, lying by the side of the road, like a rag doll, naked, her hair matted, her face half in the mud, her eyes wide. Christianna ran up behind him and saw her, and was horrified by what she saw. Fiona had obviously been raped and murdered, stabbed dozens of times. It was the most horrifying thing Christianna had ever seen. Max pushed her gently away, and told her to go back to the car.
“No!” she screamed at him. “No!” She crouched in the mud beside her friend, took her own coat off and covered her, and gently lifted her face out of the mud and cradled her head, as she herself was soaked by the rain. Christianna was nearly lying in the mud, holding her, sobbing and screaming, while Max tried to pull her away and couldn't. A few minutes later the school bus drove by and he flagged them down. Everyone ran out and saw what had happened. Klaus and Ernst gently helped Max pull Christianna away. They radioed to the others, and someone brought a tarp. Christianna was led away, sobbing, and they gently wrapped Fiona, put her in the bus, and drove back to camp.
The rest of the day was a blur for everyone. The authorities were at the camp all day. They combed the area, but no one had seen anything or anyone. No one knew anything, and the local authorities insisted it had been done by marauding Ethiopians, which seemed unlikely to everyone in the camp. It was obviously some local madman who had gone undiscovered. It was the first violence they had ever experienced in the camp. Geoff went to the post office in Senafe to notify the family by phone himself. They were devastated, predictably. And even though Christianna begged them not to, Max and Sam went to the post office with Geoff to call her father.
His response was exactly what they had expected. “Bring her back. Now. Tomorrow. Today. Get her out.” They came back and told Christianna, but she was in no condition to leave, she was devastated by the death of her friend, and the agonizing way she had died. Conditions being what they were in Africa, Fiona's family had reluctantly agreed to have her buried there. They were still in shock, but it would have been complicated and expensive to bring her home. And she had loved Africa so much. It seemed right and fitting to bury her there.
Christianna wanted to talk to Parker, but she was too distraught to go to the post office with Sam and Max, and she didn't want to talk to her father. She didn't care what he said. She wasn't going home, at least until they buried Fiona. The scene around her was suddenly a jumble and a blur. Everything had gone so wrong, and now suddenly they were all afraid.
They buried Fiona the next day, with the entire camp still in shock. Word spread in the surrounding areas. There was a sense of outrage and horror among the locals, as well as among the workers in the camp. After her brief funeral service and burial, the residents of the camp huddled in the dining tent, crying and looking grim. There was no sense of an Irish wake, which she would have liked. Instead, there were crying, angry, frightened people, unable to believe that they had lost their beloved friend. Christianna and Mary hugged, sobbing. Ushi was inconsolable. Geoff and Maggie were shaken beyond words. It was a terrible time at the camp. And then suddenly the roof caved in.
Two days after they buried Fiona, there was another border skirmish, and within three days Ethiopia and Eritrea were once more at war. This time there was no conversation. Sam and Max did not go to the post office to call her father or discuss it with Christianna. Sam packed her bag, and Max waited outside while she dressed. There was no choice. They were going to carry her out if they had to. She insisted she didn't want to leave her friends. She had come to love this place and the people in it. Everyone gathered around her, and they all cried when she left. Geoff was in full agreement with Sam and Max. The others were all going to have to make their own decisions as to whether they stayed or left. But Geoff told Christianna himself that she had to leave. She had served them well, given richly of herself, and they all loved her for it. But as much as Sam and Max and her father did, he wanted her out. This was not her job, it was a piece of her heart and soul she had given, and he did not now want it to cost her her life. The other workers accepted the risk as part of their mission. Christianna's mission was very different. The time she had spent with them in Africa was a gift to them and for herself.
They all said tearful goodbyes, she made a last tour of the patients in the AIDS clinic to say goodbye to them, and Geoff drove them to Asmara. Once there, they stood in the pouring rain, and she clung to Geoff like a crying child. So much had happened, and she was so frightened for all of them. She felt like a traitor leaving them now. UN and African Union troops had been arriving in the area for days.
“You have to leave, Your Highness,” he said as though to remind her of who she was. “Your father would never forgive us if something happened.” She had been there for nine months, and she still wasn't ready to go home, and knew she never would be. Her heart was here, and a piece of her life she would never forget.
“What about the rest of you?” she asked as the plane landed.
“We'll see what happens in the next few days. It's too soon to say. We'll see what they decide in Geneva, and what the others want to do. But it's definitely time for you to go home.” In the end, this was their home and not hers. She hugged him tightly before she left, and thanked him for the happiest months of her life. He thanked her for all she'd done and all she'd given. He told her she was an extraordinary young woman and wished her well. He knew none of them would forget her, or her loving, selfless grace.
And then she, Max, and Sam got on the plane. She saw Geoff watching them as she looked out the window. He waved, and then ran back to the bus. Moments later, the plane took off for the endless flight back to Frankfurt, and then the short hop to Zurich, and finally home.
She sat staring into space for a long time on the flight, thinking of Fiona, and Parker, Laure before that, Ushi and all the children they had taught, Mary and all the women and children in the AIDS ward. She had left behind so many people that she had come to love. And poor Fiona left with her, forever in her heart. For once, she said absolutely nothing to Sam and Max. She sat on one side of the aisle, and they sat on the other. This time they had done their job. They would have carried her out, if they had to. With a war starting, there was no question in their minds, or her father's, where she belonged. Even Christianna didn't fight them this time. She knew she had no choice.
She slept most of the way to Frankfurt, and then looked out the window in silence. She was thinking of Fiona … then Parker … she called him in Boston the moment she got off the flight in Frankfurt, and told him everything that had happened, to Fiona, the border skirmishes, and the beginning of another war. He was stunned, as she sobbed.
“My God, Cricky, are you all
right?” He couldn't believe what she'd told him about Fiona. She had described how they found her, and as she told him she cried all over again. She sounded completely overwrought.
“I love you,” she said over and over again, unable to stop crying. “I love you so much.” She hadn't seen him in nearly two months. It felt like centuries after everything that had happened.
“Cricky, I love you, too. I want you to go home and calm down. Rest. And as soon as you can get away, I'll meet you in Paris.”
“All right,” she said weakly, feeling as though she couldn't live another day without him. It had already been too long, and far too many terrible things had happened. He sounded as badly shaken as she was.
“Just go home, sweetheart,” he said gently. “Everything will be all right,” he reassured her, wishing he could put his arms around her. She sounded as though she were in shock.
“No, it won't,” she sobbed. “Fiona's dead, Parker. It won't ever be all right for her.”
“I know,” he said, trying to soothe her, unable to believe what had happened. It seemed impossible to believe that lively, fiery, wonderful, loving Fiona was gone. “I know. But everything will be all right for us. I'll see you in Paris very soon.” But she just cried harder knowing that it would probably be for the last time. She couldn't stand any more goodbyes or losses. She had to leave him then to catch her next flight, to Zurich. And he was worried about her. She sounded awful, and badly shaken, but who wouldn't have been, after everything she'd been through. “Can I call you at home?” he asked cautiously. She had given him the numbers before he left, but told him not to use them unless he had to. She didn't want to arouse suspicions. But this time Parker wanted to check on her. He was seriously worried about her, with good reason. She had never been so upset in her life.
“No, don't. I'll call you,” she said, sounding nervous. Everything in her mind was a jumble. Fiona was dead. Parker was in Boston forever. Her friends in Senafe were going to be in a war zone. And now she had to face her father, when she didn't even feel ready to go home. In the space of seventeen hours, she had gone from one side of the world to another, she felt like a plant that had been ripped out of the rich African soil and had been suddenly uprooted. Liechtenstein no longer felt like home to her. She felt as though she belonged in Senafe. And her heart was in Boston with Parker. She was utterly confused, and as she and Parker hung up, she couldn't stop crying. She looked at Sam and Max, and they looked nearly as unhappy as she did. They had loved it there, too, but there had been no question in their minds that morning, and they had a single-minded goal. They had to get her out.
“I'm sorry we left like that, Your Highness. We had to do our jobs this time. It was time to leave.”
“I know,” she said sadly. “It went so wrong in the end, with Fiona and the breaking of the truce, and the border skirmishes. What will happen to all those people if they have to live through another war?” It made her heart ache to think about it, they were such kind, loving people. And she missed all her friends in the camp as though they were her brothers and sisters.
“It will be very hard for them if this war really takes hold,” Max said honestly. He and Sam had talked about it at length on the flight. The UN was trying to step in, but they hadn't been able to stop it last time.
“I worry about the people in the camp, too,” Christianna added.
“They'll know when to get out. They've been through this before.” But there had been no question that she needed to get out sooner than they did. Max and Sam were both well aware that if something happened to her, it would have been disastrous. The prince would never have forgiven them, nor would they ever have forgiven themselves.
She was quiet on the last leg of the flight, from Frankfurt to Zurich. She had nothing left to say. She was so grief-stricken she was numb. The loss of her friend, the absence of the man she loved, how hopeless their situation was, no matter how much they loved each other, and being torn from the place she had come to love for the past nine months—all of it together was almost more than she could bear. And now, in spite of the joy of seeing her father again, she felt as though she were going home to prison, to be trapped in Vaduz for eternity, doing her duty to her father and their country, sacrificing herself more than ever before. She felt as though she were being punished for having been born royal. It had become, and had always been for her, an intolerable burden. She felt torn between what she had been taught she owed her ancestors, her country, and her family, and what her heart longed for, Parker, the only man she had ever loved.
The plane landed in Zurich, and her father was waiting for her at the airport. He put his arms around her, and there were tears in his eyes. He had been so desperately worried about her in those final hours. He couldn't have borne it if he had lost her. He looked gratefully at Max and Sam for getting her out before something terrible had happened. The news reports he had been following closely had gotten worse since she left Asmara.
She looked up at him, and smiled, and he could see instantly that a different person had come home. She was a woman, and not a girl anymore. She had loved and lived and worked and grown. And as it had done to others before her, the beauty of Africa and all she had learned and discovered there had crept into her very soul.
They waved her through customs in Zurich as they always did. They never even glanced at her passport. They didn't need to. They knew who she was and smiled at her. This time she looked at them and didn't smile back. She couldn't.
She got into the Rolls beside her father, with his familiar driver, and the bodyguard in the passenger seat. Sam and Max were following in another car, with two other bodyguards who were happy to see them. They weren't as devastated as Christianna was. It had been a job to them, although they had come to love it, too. And they were also sad to be back. Their old familiar world suddenly looked so different to them, just as it did to Cricky.
Cricky said little on the drive to Liechtenstein. She held her father's hand in silence and looked out the window. It was autumn and the weather was beautiful. But she missed Senafe. He knew everything that had happened, or thought he did. He knew about Fiona, and of Christianna finding her. He thought what he was seeing was her deep shock over that. He had no idea that what he was seeing was her sense of desolation over losing Parker too. Even if she hadn't completely lost him yet, she knew she would. And even if they met in Paris, there was no way they could continue doing so, without creating a scandal, like one of Freddy's, and she wouldn't do that to her father. She couldn't. She owed him more than that.
“I missed you, Papa,” she said, as she turned to look at him. He was looking at her so tenderly that she knew yet again that she couldn't break his heart by betraying everything she'd been born to. So she was offering her own heart as a sacrifice instead, and Parker's. Two hearts for one. It seemed a terrible price to pay for duty.
“I missed you, too,” her father said quietly. She held his hand, and once they reached Vaduz, she saw the familiar palace where she had grown up. But it no longer felt like coming home to her. Parker was home. Senafe was home. The people she had loved there had been home. The people in the life she had been born to had all become strangers to her in the last nine months. She had come home a different woman. And even her father knew it.
She got out of the car quietly. The servants she had grown up with were waiting for her. Charles came bounding up to her, and as he put his paws on her and licked her face, she smiled. And then she saw Freddy, waving to her from the distance. He had come from Vienna specially to see her. And in her heart of hearts, she felt nothing. The dog followed her inside, and she heard someone shut the door behind her. Freddy put his arms around her and kissed her. Charles barked. Her father smiled at her, and she smiled sadly at all of them. She wanted to be happy to see them, but she wasn't. She had been deposited in a family of strangers. Everyone who spoke to her called her Your Serene Highness. It was exactly who she didn't want to be, who she hadn't been for nine extraordinary months. Sh
e didn't want to be Christianna of Liechtenstein again. All she wanted to be was Cricky of Senafe.
Chapter 14
Once home, Christianna continued to follow news of the situation in Eritrea with intense interest. She was worried about her friends. And the situation did not sound good. There were continuing border violations, and many people had already been killed. Eritreans were starting to flee the country again, as they had before. The war was slowly getting under way, and although she hated to admit it, her father had been right to force her to come home.
Her heart still ached over Fiona. She thought constantly about the laughter they had shared, how angry Fiona had been when she found out that Christianna was a princess, and she felt that she'd been holding out on her by keeping it a secret. She thought of all the good times they'd had together, and that terrible morning when they'd found her, and how horribly she had died. Christianna could only hope that the end had come fast. But even if in seconds, she must have faced such agony and terror. It was hard to get that hideous image out of her head, of Fiona, naked, like a rag doll, lying facedown in the mud and rain, having been stabbed again and again.
In both good and bad ways, Christianna had changed forever in Eritrea. She had loved every moment of it, the people she'd met, worked and lived with, the places she had seen. It was all woven into the fiber of her being, and now she felt more like a stranger here than there. In Senafe she had been herself, the best self she had ever been. In Vaduz she had to be the one she had resisted all her life. In fact, she had to give herself up almost completely to be there. She had to surrender to duty and history. And worst of all, in order to be who she was destined to be, she had to give up the man she loved. She couldn't think of a worse fate. It felt like a living death to her every day. She loved her father and her brother, but being back in Vaduz continued to feel like a life sentence in prison to her. She had to force herself to get out of bed every day and do what was expected of her. She did it, by sheer force and selfdiscipline, but she felt as though a piece of her died every day. No one saw it, but she knew it. She was withering inside.
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