Mr. Always & Forever

by Ashlee Price

  ***

  It seemed like everyone I had ever known was at the party later. I couldn’t remember half of their names but everyone seemed to know who I was. It was a bit overwhelming and the truth was I would have much rather had a dinner with just the family. There were too many people around and I found myself walking outside towards the barn. My horse was there and I wanted to see if he would remember me.

  Walking away from the music and towards one of many barns on the property, I heard humming the closer I got. I walked a little lighter and a little slower. I wondered who it was and a picture of Shannon came to mind. She looked like she would sound good. It seemed the woman was good at a multitude of things. Her cooking had been wonderful and she had a grace about her. It wouldn’t surprise me if she could sing birds out of the sky as well.

  I stopped in the opening, her silhouette against the side of the barn. I didn’t know the tune, but it had such a melancholy sound to it, I was drawn to it. It sounded like I felt. Getting closer, I stood at the opening for some time listening to her.

  Thunder had the same colored hair as hers, jet black. It was my horse that she was singing to and I wondered suddenly why she was out her as well. Was she trying to get away from all of the sound? There was something right to her feeling the same comfort as me with the animals.

  When she finally stopped, I wanted to say something, but the air was still ringing with her sound and it would have been wrong to disrupt the silence. She finished brushing him and it gave me time to take her in. She was shorter than I normally liked my women, but her curves made me look again. As she bent over, her long legs lengthened in her shorts and I made a sound that had her turning around.

  “Sorry I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

  “No, you just scared me is all. I didn’t see you standing there. He’s ready for a ride if that is what you were looking to do.”

  It was like she was reading my mind. I thought of a puppet master, pulling the strings of everyone around her. “That was exactly what I was looking to do. How did you know?”

  “If I had been away for four years, this is where I would be. So I just figured you might. The saddle is over there ready whenever you are. He has missed you.”

  “You read horse’s minds as well?”

  She just giggled a little. “Horses are so much simpler than people, aren’t they?”

  “I guess they are.”

  “Well, have a nice ride Joel.”

  “Where are you going?” She had started to walk away and I could feel the warmth in the place leaving with her.

  “Back in to serve dessert. You haven’t even had any cake yet.”

  I shrugged. “Come with me?”

  “Where?”

  “Anywhere.”

  “What about the party?”

  “What about it? Do you really want to go back there?”

  “No. Not really. Too many people all trying to talk at once.”

  “So just come with me. I need to ride around the property anyways.”

  “But it’s dark.”

  “You never ride at night?”

  “Fine, let me get my horse and I will meet you by the gates.”

  I was a little disappointed. I wanted her to ride with me, feel her large chest against my back. There was no discussion about it because she was already gone. Getting Thunder saddled and moving towards the gate, she was already there next to a large white horse. It suited her, the clash of hair and it made her stand out in the dying light around us. Soon there would be only the moon to guide us and the familiarity of the property. It had been a while, but not so long.

  “It’s a beautiful horse. What’s her name?”

  “Lightning.”

  “Why did you name her that?”

  “I don’t know. You should have seen them together. Lightning just seemed like a good name. It went together with Thunder and she has the white color of the streak.”

  My mind was in the gutter again and all I could think about was trying to remember which came first. I watched her get on with little effort. I was feeling rusty next to her gracefulness, almost awkward in her presence. It had been a while since I felt that way.

  “So where did you want to go Joel?”

  I didn’t have an answer. I more or less was just going to let the horse figure out where he wanted to go. I hadn’t had a plan, just to get away from the party in my honor and all of the people that wanted to know what it was like to be in the service. Or worse yet, if I had killed any people while I was gone.

  “I’ll just follow you.”

  Chapter 4: Shannon

  I just took off towards the outer reaches of the ranch. It was a bit larger than when he left, so I figured he would want to see the new land. There were a few new creeks and another training set up that had been put in. It was to be his from what Maddie had told me, so it seemed like the place to go. Joel kept close when the terrain became unknown. It had once been the neighbor’s, but now it was all Fisher land as far as the eye could see.

  He started to fall back and I realized that he wanted to stop for a minute. “Where are we going?”

  “The new training grounds that your dad bought from the Thompsons.”

  “This is our land now?”

  I shook my head and started back to a trot, waiting for him to catch up. There was a lot of ground to cover and it was already pretty late. Even though the sun was down, there was still a wet heat in the air that moving helped. “Come on, we got a ways to go and I am burning up.”

  He finally caught up and I could feel his gaze on me. If Amber knew I liked her brother she would kill me. Looking away, I quickened the pace, trying to put some distance between me and him. While I knew he was off limits, it made me want him nonetheless.

  Finally arriving, we slowed down enough so that he could take in the new gates and stables. There weren’t any animals over there yet, but when there was, it would be everything he needed. “So what do you think? Ray worked on this for months when he found out you were coming home.”

  I just wanted to plant the seed and it looked like it took. Smiling to him in the moonlight, his eyes sparkled back at me. “You ready to go somewhere else?”

  He nodded and took the lead. It didn’t matter where he was going, I wanted to follow. Joel was the quiet type, but his face showed a different side of him that I wanted to explore more. But at the moment, I was having a hard time keeping up with him. It was as if he was running from the devil himself.

  ***

  When we slowed down, I knew immediately where he was planning to go. It was my favorite place on the property, the place I tried to run to every chance I got. It only seemed fitting that he would go there as well. “You want to take a swim?”

  “I don’t have a bathing suit on.”

  “So, neither do I.”

  I bit my lip. He was already getting off his horse and pulling his shirt off. My throat made it hard to swallow. Joel had not made it back home unscathed, but it was hard to focus on the scars, when they were covering such a rippled chest. He was gorgeous. Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I got off my horse as he started to pull his jeans off. I wanted him to have nothing on underneath, but he finally revealed a pair of boxer briefs. He looked back at me staring and I looked down, trying not to give away my reaction. I was sure that he was used to women falling all over him and if I didn’t catch myself, I was going to be just as bad.

  He jumped into the cool water and looked up at me when he resurfaced. “Are you getting in?”

  I nodded that I was, but I still hadn’t moved to take any of my clothes off. I apparently was a little more modest than he was. I tried to tell myself that bra and panties were the same as a bathing suit, but it felt more intimate. “Turn around.”

  He didn’t want to, I could see it in his face, but he did as I asked. As I looked at his bare shoulders, I quickly pulled off my shirt and shorts. The bra was white, as well as the panties and there was a thought that they would turn see th
rough, but I was already too far to say no. I didn’t want Joel to think I was afraid or too shy, even though he made it hard to speak in his presence.

  As I got in, I could feel the cold water instantly cooling me off. It felt too damn good and I closed my eyes with a soft moan of pleasure. When I reopened them, he was very close. “Feels good doesn’t it?”

  I nodded my head. “Yes, this is one of my favorite places here. It’s always such cold water, no matter how hot it is.’

  I fought the urge to push back the dark brown strand of hair that had fallen into his face. “Are you happy to be home Joel?”

  He was, it was hard not to tell. Joel was already starting to look more relaxed then when I saw him a few hours ago. Maddie and even Ray seemed to be content that he was home. I hadn’t seen much of Amber, but I knew she was happy that he was home as well.

  “Yes, I forgot how good it felt in here on a hot night. The view has gotten better as well.”

  I tried not to blush, but it was hard not to. The way he looked at me when he said it made me shiver. Starting to move, I swam to the other side, and held onto the edge. My body felt like a game of tug of war. Naturally my body was drawn to the rugged man, but who he was made it impossible. He was my best friend’s brother and several years older than me. I didn’t have much experience with older men and what worked for guys my age, didn’t seem to work on him. I was left in this strange place where I just didn’t know what to do.

  My face was hot and I knew that no matter how much I wished it not so, I was probably beat red. At least I could hide behind my tan a bit. We treaded water and talked. I didn’t bring up where he has been, but tried to focus on his plans for the ranch now that he was taking over. He was going to be my new boss, which sounded like a good idea in the beginning, but I was going to have to work with him every day. It was hard to when all I wanted to do was jump into his arms and kiss him.

  It was about time to get out when we heard whispers. As they got louder, he grabbed me and moved towards the rock ledge, hiding behind it. I knew that it was Amber, but I didn’t recognize the man’s voice. “It’s fine. My brother is at the party.”

  “He would kill me if he knew that I was out here with you.”

  “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

  I looked to Joel and I could feel him tensing up. I peeked around and recognized one of his friends from earlier at the party. He was about to come out when I stopped him with a finger to his lips. I picked up a loose rock and threw it over by them. Amber got spooked as I hoped she would and they took their playtime somewhere else.

  When I looked back over at him, it was then that I remembered where I was. His body was hard against me and his arm was still holding my waist up against him. Turned towards him, our lips were so close to each other, I wished he would kiss me. My breathing had started to go a little faster and I leaned in a little, urging him to kiss me. When he didn’t, I moved the rest of the way, entwining my arms around his neck. I tried to ease the tension in his body, but I seemed to only make it worse.

  Pulling me away, “We can’t Shannon. I can’t.”

  He moved away, leaving me staring at his back and wondering what the hell just happened. It was the worst feeling when he started to swim away. I tried to hide my disappointment, pulling myself up and wringing out my hair. I was pissed a little and turned towards him to say something. I stopped when I looked at his face. There was darkness in his eyes that I knew must look like my own. But if he wanted me so bad, why did he just push me away? Joel was confusing, his signals all over the place.

  Joel finally moved towards me with his shirt in his hand. Handing it to me, I didn’t reach for it quick enough. He then just threw it over my shoulders. “What are you doing?”

  “I can see through that.”

  “I have a shirt on over it.”

  “I know.”

  I brightened more and looked at his barely clad body. His chest was still wet with the water from the quarry and I couldn’t help following a droplet down until it escaped into the waistband of his pants. “Thanks.”

  I took it off my chest and looked down. I could barely see a nipple, but his eyes were riveted back to the spot. Putting him out of his discomfort, I finally put it on and buttoned a couple buttons. It swallowed me whole and soon was just as wet as everything else from the wetness from my hair. It was trickling down my back and getting my clothes wet. “There, better?”

  Our eyes met and I wished I hadn’t said anything. How could he say so much without uttering a word? His depths were endless and when they were pointed at me, it was hard not to tremble inside. “You ready to go back?”

  I didn’t have a choice because he was already getting up on Thunder. I followed to not be left alone in the dark. He looked back at me once, but he didn’t slow down. I didn’t know if I was ever going to be able to understand him. But that kiss, no matter if I had to take it, was still burning my lips with the memory. There had been a few moments when he had kissed me back before he pushed away. That is what I couldn’t forget.

  Getting back to the stable, I put Lightning up and didn’t look once towards the one that Joel was in. I walked towards the sounds coming from inside, confused at the mixed signals from Joel. Finding Amber, we talked for a few minutes and I ignored her brother when he came in. He was everywhere I looked it seemed and I couldn’t bare another moment with him. So instead of staying any longer, I just walked home and called it a day.

  I lived with my dad in a small clapboard house on the property. There were several more like it, but I had come to think of it as home. It had been a good home and I was thankful for the Fishers. I kept wondering what would change when Joel took over. Maybe I wouldn’t even have a job too much longer.

  Chapter 5: Shannon

  I got up late the next morning. No one was there to wake me up and I must have forgotten to turn the alarm on. Scrambling to get dressed, I just threw on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt with the ranch’s logo on it. It was what I wore most days so there was little to no thought put into it. My hair was thrown up in a knot on my head and I just barely had time to wipe off the mascara from my face that I had forgotten to wash off the night before.

  When the first thing I seen was Joel though, I wished I had put something else on. I was still stinging from his rebuke the night before, but I was going to do my best to pretend like it never happened. It was a lapse in judgment, that is all it was. Or that is what I told myself anyways. It was more, but that is all it was going to be. He didn’t feel the same way that I did or if he did, something was holding him back.

  I tried not to look him in the eyes when I passed, but he stopped me with a light grip on my arm. “We need to talk Shannon.”

  “Let’s not, Joel. It was awkward enough last night. It never happened.”

  His face changed like he didn’t like my answer. I was mortified to even be having the conversation. “That was not what I was talking about. I can’t pretend like that never happened, but good to know where you stand.”

  I tried to say something, but it was impossible with the look that he gave me. I had already put my foot in my mouth, as well as running late and it wasn’t even noon.

  “I was hoping to talk to you about training. My mother said something about Ray not letting you, but you were interested?”

  The change of pace was mind blowing and I couldn’t keep up. “Oh well, you know how your dad is. He just thinks that males are the only ones that can. I can’t say that I agree with him of course, but I am happy to be here in whatever capacity that I am able to be.”

  “So you don’t want to become a trainer?”

  Was he serious? Of course I did. It was something that I had always wanted to do, but there was still so much to learn. “I do Joel. More than anything, but I will need some training first. I can still do my job now, but maybe you could let me work with one of the trainers too?” I was hopeful. Something I wasn’t often, but I really hoped that he would at least give me the
chance.

  “I was thinking more you stop doing your job that you do now and I will teach you everything I know. You will be on your own in a couple of months. I’ve seen the way you are around them, so I know it won’t take you long.”

  “That would be perfect!” My face hurt from smiling too big and I hoped I didn’t look like an idiot.

  “There is only one catch though.”

  My heart sank. There was always a catch, a storm cloud in the sky. “Okay, what’s that?” I didn’t know what he was going to say and it seemed like he liked making me squirm, taking forever for him to answer me.

  “You would have to move down to the bunkhouses on the new training grounds if you were to work with me. The more time spent around the horses we are training the better, so you would have to move a few miles away.”

  My mind went to the set up and how there was only one bunkhouse over there. He must have known where my mind was going, because he was quick to add enough to dash my hopes of romance. “I know there is only one down there, but I am having another one built and there are two beds, private bathroom. It would be all business Shannon. I can promise you that.”

  I sighed to myself. Of course it was only business with him. The one man that I was dying to touch me again, just wanted to keep it professional. It was the right thing to do, but it was also the last thing that I wanted to do. I wanted to push all of the propriety to the wind, toss out all of the reasons that we shouldn’t and just see what happened. But Joel was not that kind of guy, too uptight to just let things happen.

  “Okay Joel. I have been dying to get a chance, so thank you.” I wanted to add that if he ever wanted to wake me up in the middle of the night with nothing on that would be okay too.

  ***