“I said things yesterday I regret.” The tenor of his voice sent shivers down her spine.
“Me, too.”
“I know this baby will change both our lives.”
“There’s a good chance I’m not pregnant.”
“Okay, for arguments sake, let’s say you are. It wasn’t fair of me to act like I was the only one being…inconvenienced.”
Ouch. Not the word she wanted to hear.
“I don’t want any child of mine to be shuffled between homes. You had a hard childhood, but we aren’t your parents, Jill.”
“But—”
“We get along. We have a good friendship. Marriage wasn’t anything I planned on, but we both could’ve done worse.”
His words yesterday hurt, but these killed her. Slowly.
“Yesterday you said you’d never forgive me,” she said, her voice stronger than she felt.
“I know. I’m sorry. That was a stupid thing to say in the heat of the moment. I didn’t mean half of what I said.”
“Then why did you say it?”
He stepped back and brushed his hands through his hair. She didn’t miss the fact that they shook. “When the word marriage came out of my mouth—for whatever reason, I panicked.” He released a stream of air, resting his hands on his hips. “You know I’m not interested in marriage, but to add being a father on top of it, twenty-four seven…”
“We’re both scared.” She hugged her middle in an attempt to replace the warmth he’d taken with him when he’d moved away. If only she could break through his toughened heart and teach him to trust. To care. To learn not all women were greedy, spiteful, mean, and liars. They weren’t all Gina.
“You hide it better.” He grinned.
“That’s your opinion. My insides are a quivering mass.”
“What should we do, Jill?”
On the verge of grabbing him in a tight hug, she stiffened her stance. “Like I said yesterday, let me take a pregnancy test. This all might be for nothing.”
“You’re right.”
“I know I am.”
The corners of his mouth lifted, and his boyish expression made her heart stammer. “I don’t like fighting with you.”
Her skin heated. She didn’t want to fight, either. “I’ll get the test today. We’ll have answers by dinner tonight.” Jill gave him a small smile. The uncomfortable tension between them disappeared. Now they acted more like two unsure teens on a date.
He nodded, shoving his fisted hands deep into his front pockets. Head bent, a lock of hair fell over his creased brow, exaggerating his boyish charms further.
Her attraction moved up another notch. If she were pregnant…
Hope swelled. Maybe she’d have the time to teach Chet to trust her. Together they’d build a family. It could happen. With patience, it would happen.
And if she wasn’t pregnant…
Life would return to normal. She’d move on with her career—the career she once so desperately wanted, the one that now took a backseat to the mass of emotion she’d become.
What the heck are you thinking? Quit fantasizing about a man who will never have feelings for you beyond friendship—and lust.
Maybe living with Chet for the last several weeks had weakened her senses and made her forget there were other men on the menu. Just sampling one had made her forget the appetizer list varied. Less than twenty-four hours ago her life spun out of control at all the possible changes. Today she looked forward to change. Either way, she’d be fine.
Chet cleared his throat. “Jill, I want you to understand I won’t allow myself to regret whatever decision we make. We’ve proven—hell, we’re proving it now—our friendship is strong, and that’s a good basis to start out any marriage with. Not that I know, but it seems—”
“Quit rambling. We’ll talk later tonight.” She’d never seen him so uncomfortable or so jumbled in his thoughts. At least she wasn’t alone there.
“I just need to say a few things. After last night…well, I really messed up. I’m sorry.”
She melted. “Things were a bit stressed.”
“I can make you happy. If we have to get married.”
Have to get married. Have to…
“As for our sexual chemistry, I’ll leave that part up to you. We can have a normal marriage, in every way. Or we can both be discreet.”
This had to be the worst proposal ever. Her hopes of a moment ago were sprinkled with ashes. Why should she care? She hadn’t fooled herself into believing either of them—especially her—could count on anything more.
Had she?
Hell, even if she did fall in love with him, there was no chance of winning his in return. He didn’t want it. “Why are we even discussing this? Let’s see what the test reveals first.” Her words came out in a harsh rush.
“We’re discussing this because it needs to be discussed. Take the day and think this over. I know that’s what I’ll be doing. If you’re pregnant, then we need to decide how our marriage will work. Will we be together for real, or for our child’s sake?”
“Fine. Let’s get it all out in the open. What happens if we try the traditional marriage, committed and faithful? Until death do us part, just you and me, forever?” Her heart broke as she pounded each word into his psyche, demanding he understand the full impact of what he offered. “Then in a few years you meet someone, or I do?” She held her breath.
Her unrealistic, wishful self hoped her words would make him realize—realize what, Jill? That his feelings for her ran deeper than friendship? She scanned his face, aching to see a moment of awareness.
Nothing. They were as far removed from being a couple as she was from securing a loan from the bank in the next fifteen minutes.
“Neither of us can predict the future, but since we do have a strong friendship, I’d hope we’d be able to talk and come to an agreement.”
He didn’t care. If he’d felt even an inkling of what she felt, the thought of her with another man would be unsettling. She might not love him, but she cared for him enough that the thought of him with another woman bothered her.
She clenched her jaw, dumbstruck at her own calm. She would get through this, like her mother had when Jill’s father left with another woman.
“And what about my catering business?” She wanted to know more out of curiosity than anything else.
“Whatever you want to do. We can get the assistance of a nanny, wait until our child is older, hire staffing for your business, and you can oversee things from home…it’s up to you. Marriage is all about communication.”
Since when had he become a pro? “You sound experienced.”
“Years of watching two experts. My parents set a great example.”
“So if you have to follow anyone’s blueprint, theirs is the one?” At least he had something to go by. Her example of adult commitment, marriage, and love were grossly flawed.
“Exactly.”
She gulped down her anxiety.
“My mind’s made up. If you’re pregnant, we’ll get married. All the details about how our marriage will be…well, that’s your choice. I’ll go along with whatever you decide.” His tone didn’t broker an argument.
Not that she possessed the strength to fight him. “Can I think about it? Or is this another sixty-second deal?” She laughed, amazed at how normal she sounded.
“Of course. Mull it over. We’ll discuss any questions tonight at dinner.”
Not sure if she should hold out her hand so they could shake on it, she clasped her fingers together. This conversation, proposal, life-altering moment had all the markings of a business deal.
So much for marriage equaling white picket fences, flowers, and merry-go-rounds. Reality hit her with all the pain of a dull knife twisting into her heart.
Dinner and her answer, it sounded like a reality game show. Jill fought against the wind to open the glass-paneled door and escape the dry warmth of the small grocery. She stepped outside, jumping when the door
crashed shut behind her. Chilled air sliced through her thin shirt and she hugged the two paper grocery bags tight to her chest.
Tonight she’d make spaghetti with homemade meatballs, garlic bread, and a fresh salad. Pasta had always been her comfort food, and no matter the outcome of the over-the-counter pregnancy test—tucked in a separate bag between the salad fixings and loaf of French bread—comfort would definitely be on the menu.
She dared a peek at the angry gray sky and hunched down as the wind bit her face, driving drops of rain into her checks. Shivers raced across her bare arms as she rushed across the parking lot. When she reached her car, the rain grew heavy, and the sky went from releasing fat drops of rain to tossing them down in force. Her shirt soaked through and her hair plastered to her head.
Once inside the safety of her old jalopy, she brushed her wet fingers across her even wetter face and hair and sat staring out her windshield as the afternoon sky darkened further, making it appear as if night had already fallen. She squinted, unable to see the hood of her car through the downpour. She turned the key in the ignition once, pumped the gas, and tried again. Rain and her car mixed like cloudy and clear, but after two more tries she managed to turn the engine over.
She bit her lip, cranking up the heat as she slid into reverse. How come she’d let her stubbornness rule? She should’ve taken Chet up on his offer of using one of his cars. Her car stalled but started again. Jill sent up a silent plea to make it the short trip home.
Chapter Eighteen
“Piece of crap.” Jill thumped her palm against the steering wheel. Wind rocked her car and torrents of rain streaked down the windshield.
When the engine died, her power steering croaked, but she managed to pull the sputtering automobile off the road onto the gravel shoulder. An embankment plunged down into a thicket of trees on the passenger side.
Wind howled and a gust blasted the side of her vehicle. She held her breath as the swaying motion seemed to inch her closer to the ravine. Rusty metal creaked and groaned under the force, and she gripped the steering wheel.
She dug under her seat for the flashlight her mother always told her to carry. Her fingers met with air and she grumbled to herself because she’d used it a few months ago when the electricity went out at her apartment and had never put it back.
Darkness, hooded by an angry sky, surrounded her on the desolate country road, and Jill glanced over her shoulder in hopes of seeing headlights from another vehicle. A shiver raced over her skin, not from the cold but from her own morbid thoughts. Out here, she felt like the last person on earth.
Or an actress with top billing in a horror movie. Jill Adgate, starring in One Stormy Night. She shook off pictures of men with hook arms and serial killers wearing hockey masks. One too many scary movies over the years weren’t what she needed to focus on.
She tried again to start the car. Holding her breath, she turned the key, waiting to hear the engine of the temperamental rust heap fire. No such luck, it ground, then went dead. Swirls of steamy smoke shot up from under the hood.
Huddled against the well-worn leather seat, she rubbed her hands briskly along her upper arms, hoping for some measure of comfort. She pulled her phone from her purse, then scrolled down the contact list. One by one, each call went to voice mail. Even Mel.
“Come on.” She sat forward, turned the key in the ignition a second time, and pumped the gas. Nothing. Not even a spark. Her forehead bounced off the steering wheel several times as she groaned. This wasn’t in the plans for today.
Again, she went through her phone numbers, hoping she’d missed one. When she reached the end, she fisted her hand. She only had one option.
Chet.
She tossed her cell from palm to palm, stalling. Call Chet, sit here the rest of the night, or walk home in a raging storm. No choice thrilled her. Jill dreaded being stuck with him in a car, since she didn’t have the answer to the question on both their minds.
“Quit stalling.” And she meant it both ways. She needed to take that test and get it over with. But first she’d call Chet.
Less than forty minutes later, Jill sat tucked beneath a soft blanket, knees against chest, heels on the edge of her seat. Heat, cranked to high, blasted from the vents of Chet’s car. Pure, blissful heaven.
“It’s like a tropical vacation in here.” She sighed.
He chuckled and, through the dimness, she sensed him glance in her direction, though she stared straight ahead. Ever the backseat driver, she paid attention to the road in case she needed to point out any hazards that might jump into their path.
“Next time you need to go out, take one of my cars. I’d feel better knowing you were in a reliable vehicle.”
She couldn’t argue with that, though her pride wanted to. “I’ve been taking care of myself for so long—”
“—it’s just become habit.”
“Your psychic abilities freak me out sometimes.”
This time he laughed. The low rumble hummed along her skin. Even in semi-darkness, he oozed sex appeal. From her side vision, she peeked at him, not wanting to be too obvious.
My God, he was an impressive man. Dark and mysterious. Not like she never noticed, but in the confines of his car, with minimal light, it became more obvious. He focused straight ahead, face relaxed. Strong fingers moved with confidence along the steering wheel. In the soft red glow of the instrument panel, he looked like a superhero. One on a mission.
Rescuing a damsel in distress.
In this movie script, she’d play the damsel. Her knees weakened at the idea.
What would his superpower be? Maybe he’d fly, turn invisible, read minds, which he kind of already did. No. No, she knew exactly what his superpower would be.
She choked on her laugh, and he glanced at her and chuckled, too. Like he was in on her joke.
Yes, Chet Castle’s superpower would be the ability to disintegrate underwear from any female form.
“So, what was so important you had to go out on an afternoon like this? Didn’t we have enough at home to make a nice meal?”
She turned sideways in her seat to watch him. “We agreed on dinner tonight, and I wanted to make my special spaghetti and meatballs. The weather wasn’t nearly as bad when I left.”
“The news warned of it all day.”
“I know. Biggest storm of the season so far…blah, blah, blah.”
In the slivers of light that fought their way through the rain and the light coming from the dash, she could see his mouth turn up. Her body tingled. He embodied superhero strength, with a punch of power. She slipped her hand underneath the collar of her shirt to feel her bra strap. Yep, underwear still intact.
“You didn’t even bring a coat.” He shifted his attention from the road for a second and smiled at her.
“I didn’t think I’d be gone this long, or get this soaked in the process.”
He nodded, staying quiet, as if pondering the state of the world.
“I’ll have your car towed back to the house tomorrow. Unless you’d prefer the junkyard?”
“Hardy har har. You’re a funny man, Chet. To the house would be great. I know that finicky four-wheeled trollop. She’ll be running as good as new after a night of rest. But thanks.”
She leaned her head back, staring out the passenger window at the rain running down the glass. Her inner voice warned her not to get comfortable. When he cleared his throat, she braced herself for his next question, sure of what he’d ask.
“Did you buy a pregnancy test?”
His words broke apart the stillness in the car. She tightened her grip on her knees, jamming them against her chest. Her breath held until they topped his driveway, then circled around to the garage.
“It’s in one of the bags.” Her voice sounded raspier than normal, as if sand lined her throat.
He lowered his visor and the garage door opened. Once inside he shifted the car into park, the engine idled in perfect tune.
“Are you up to doing it now?
”
She cleared her throat. “I actually read it’s more accurate if you take it first thing in the morning. I mean, you can take it anytime, but…”
“You’re stalling.” Humor flecked his words.
“Pretty obvious, huh?” Her whole body quaked.
“Let’s do it now, get it over with. So we both know.” His tired voice tugged at her heart until his words sank in.
“What, you want to come with me?” That would be about the last thing she could handle. Chet standing over her while she peed on a stick.
He turned toward her, smooth leather protested his weight. “I’m not thinking of standing over you.”
Psychic abilities be damned, this guy had bugged her brain.
“How about I wait in the next room? Or is that too close?”
His prying eyes searched her face. She couldn’t put it off any longer. “Okay.”
He touched her hand, which lay frozen on the top of her knee. “Don’t you want to know?”
“Of course, but if we wait till morning, it’ll be more accurate.” One last stall tactic.
His hand stiffened against hers, then, just as quickly, he squeezed her fingers and pulled back. “It’s up to you.”
They sat in silence. To the point where the overhead light, which had come on instantly when the garage door opened, clicked off.
“You know what surprises me most about you, Jill?” He didn’t wait for an answer, which was good, because she couldn’t talk. “You’re a strong woman, most of the time confident, not afraid to take a chance—”
“Except when it comes to taking a pregnancy test.” She bit her lip. Her attempt at humor backfired. Neither of them laughed.
“I just find it funny that someone brought up in a home like you were, with parents who had a difficult marriage—”
“That’s sugarcoating it. Their marriage was a disaster.”
“I wasn’t going for blunt, but okay. Being raised in a home like that, how come you aren’t the one afraid of marriage and commitment? I’d think after all you saw and all you’ve been through…well, love, marriage, and kids would be the last thing you’d want.”
Bachelor's Special Page 16