The Test of Love

by Irene Brand

  “I assume all of the calories have been taken out of this, Mrs. Harmon.” With an impish grin at Connie, Joseph added, “I’ve been placed on a strict diet.”

  “You can use a few calories,” Beverly said. She patted Bill’s ample stomach. “We can’t all be muscular like Connie. Besides, she doesn’t always practice what she preaches.”

  “That’s no way to encourage my patients, Mom.”

  The half hour passed quickly because Joseph and Bill discussed Colorado’s ranching industry. Beverly had a knack for putting guests at ease, and people always enjoyed visiting the Harmon home.

  “Come back any time, Joseph,” Beverly called to them as they left the house.

  “If my diet at NLC is too restrictive, look for me at your door often.”

  As they walked toward his pickup, Joseph said, “Connie, will you drive? I hate to admit it, but I’m in so much pain, it isn’t safe for me to be behind the wheel. The pickup shouldn’t be any more difficult to drive than your van.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were hurting? We could have gone back as soon as you came to the house. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I enjoyed meeting your parents. It’s a surprise to learn I know your father. I’ve always liked him, but we haven’t been well acquainted.”

  “They’ve given me lots of love and security. Without their encouragement, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

  “I can tell they’re good parents.”

  As she drove the truck out of town, Connie said, “It might be good for you to see Dr. Alexander in the morning before we go walking. I can understand your joints being stiff, but you shouldn’t be in a lot of pain.”

  Joseph laid a warm hand on her shoulder, and Connie trembled at his touch. Hopefully, he hadn’t noticed. “Don’t fret about it. I’m to blame. I should have stayed in my room and rested tonight, but I still won’t admit that I can’t do the things I’ve done all of my life. And, of course, I had to leave my cane behind! I have a bad case of male ego. A night’s rest will do wonders for me.”

  When they parted at the door of Connie’s apartment, he said, “I had a good time, Connie, so it was worth the price I had to pay. The pain has lessened considerably since I didn’t have to drive home. I’ll be all right in the morning.”

  “I enjoyed the evening, too,” she said, although she wished it wasn’t so.

  At the end of two weeks, Joseph could walk two miles slowly on the easy trail, but still with a noticeable limp. He wasn’t easily discouraged, but there were days, when the pain was severe and his strength unequal to the task, that he shed tears of disappointment. During those dismal times, Connie said very little. He had to fight some battles alone. Beginning his third week, Connie started Joseph on the second trail, which required more stamina because it wound uphill part of the way, and the round-trip was three miles.

  At the end of each month, Dr. Alexander gave every client a thorough checkup, the trainer made a detailed report, and the staff members who’d worked with the client submitted a progress report to the board. After these individual evaluations, the patient met with the board members.

  It always thrilled Connie when someone she’d worked with for a month was evaluated, especially when there was a marked improvement, as in Joseph’s case. When he walked into the conference room without a cane, still with a slight limp, but with buoyancy in his step, Connie felt like shouting, but she prayed instead.

  Oh, God, why is he so important to me? I don’t want to love him. But Connie suspected that her greatest fear had already happened. How could anyone spend the better part of a month with Joseph and not love him? He had a keen mind and an engaging personality that drew people to him. Connie wondered how much the residents at NLC knew about the cloud hanging over Joseph, for without putting forth any effort, Joseph had become popular with the other NLC patients, as well as with the staff. He and Della were great friends. Eric had become as fond of him as if they were brothers. Kim had been Joseph’s champion from the first day, and she was aware of his past. If he was a favorite with everyone else, it was small wonder that he’d wiggled his way into Connie’s heart. She admired him especially when he was most vulnerable. Only Connie had witnessed his vulnerability—those times when he couldn’t walk any farther, when his leg hurt until he cried out in pain, or when discouragement plagued him.

  When Joseph sat at the conference table, Eric said, “Congratulations, Joseph. All reports indicate that you’ve made a lot of progress in the last month. Your recovery thus far is certainly above average.”

  Obliquely, Connie glanced at Ray. He was the only person at NLC who hadn’t accepted Joseph, but to give him credit, he had rated Joseph well on his gym performance. He didn’t continue to let personal bias influence his professional behavior. That was one thing in his character Connie could admire.

  Flashing a grin in her direction, Joseph said, “I’ve had a good trainer.”

  Pleasure brightened Connie’s face. “Thank you, but the credit has to go where it’s deserved. Unless the patient is determined, a trainer can’t do much.”

  “How do you feel about the program, Joseph?” Eric asked. “How do you evaluate us? Have we met your expectations?”

  “Quite frankly, I didn’t anticipate much when I came here. Dr. Melrose told me NLC was my last chance, and I was desperate enough to try anything. So, yes, NLC has more than met my expectations, and more important than my physical improvement, I can hope again—I have a confidence in the future that I haven’t had for a long time.” He paused as if to summon his courage. “And, Eric, much of that has come from attending your chapel services. My parents were conservative in their religious views, and I know the Bible well because I was required to memorize portions of it in my childhood, but I’ve sparingly applied biblical principles to everyday living. Being here at the Center has turned my whole life in a new direction.”

  Speaking of being vulnerable! Connie had never been so incapable of controlling her emotions. It was a good thing Eric chaired this meeting, for she didn’t want attention focused on her. What might her face reveal? If she wasn’t under the watchful eyes of her staff, she would probably round the table and throw her arms around Joseph. Knowing him had enriched her own life. To avoid looking at Joseph, she glanced to the left and met Ray’s cynical eyes. He knows! she thought.

  “We’re happy you’re improving, Joseph,” Eric said. “The board is in full agreement that you should continue your therapy, and it sounds as if you’re of the same mind.”

  “Absolutely! I intend to climb Faith Mountain before I leave—in more ways than one.” Connie sensed he was looking at her, but she wouldn’t meet his gaze.

  When the meeting adjourned, Joseph joined Connie and Kim as they walked toward the dormitory.

  “I’ll wait for Eric,” Kim said, and she slowed her steps. “We’re going to the dining hall for frozen yogurt. Want to come with us?”

  Connie and Joseph declined and walked on without Kim.

  Choosing her words carefully, Connie said, “You made me very happy tonight. Your personal testimony proves that NLC is doing the work I want it to do.”

  “Do we have to wait until I climb Faith Mountain before we celebrate? Let me take you out to dinner.”

  “We discourage social contact between the staff and patients. I wouldn’t set a good example by breaking the rule.”

  “Is that a no?”

  Smiling, she said, “For now. I thought you should know why I hesitate. It’s not forbidden, but it’s probably not a good idea.”

  “It depends on whose point of view you consider. Personally, I think it’s an excellent idea. Will you go?”

  Joseph’s coaxing voice weakened her resolve.

  “Against my better judgment. Tomorrow night is when I visit my parents. We can skip dinner here, eat in town and go to see them. Or I could telephone Mom, and we can eat with them.”

  “I’m selfish. I want this celebration between the two of us.”


  “We’re together most of the day.”

  “I know. It’s becoming habitual for me.”

  Though she felt she was capitulating too easily, Connie said, “We can leave at five o’clock.”

  When Kim came in an hour later, Connie sat on the bed in a cotton lilac sleep T-shirt, legs curled under her body, arms behind her head. Kim was radiant, and there was a soft expression in her eyes. How could her friend be so confident and happy, when Connie was so confused?

  “What happened to make you glow?” she said peevishly.

  “Eric asked me to marry him tonight, and I said yes.”

  Stifling her own frustrations, Connie said, “Oh, Kim, I’m so happy for both of you. Have you decided on a date?”

  “No, not yet, but we want to marry sometime this summer.”

  Kim must have sensed Connie’s dismal attitude, for she looked at her keenly. “I thought you’d be asleep by now.”

  Connie shook her head, and was shocked to realize she was on the verge of tears. She hadn’t cried since her grandmother’s funeral, so why was she weepy now?

  Kim sat on Connie’s bed. “What’s wrong? I thought you’d be on top of the world after the progress Joseph has made. He was surely impressive tonight and gave NLC a good evaluation.”

  “He asked me to go out with him for dinner tomorrow night, and I agreed! I can’t believe I’d ignore one of the Center’s guidelines.”

  “Oh, you’re the boss—you should have a few privileges. Don’t worry about it. Some of the rest of us may have broken a few rules you don’t know about,” Kim said with a smile. “Go and enjoy yourself.”

  Kim went into the bathroom, put on her pajamas, and when she returned to the bedroom, Connie hadn’t changed her stance. Kim got into the other bed, but before she turned out the light, she said, “Want to talk about it?”

  Connie’s lip quivered slightly. “I’m upset over the way I feel about Joseph.”

  “Be more specific. Are you in love with him?”

  “How do I know if I’m in love?”

  “I’m no expert on the subject, since Eric is my first love.”

  “Well, I thought Ray was my first and last love, but my relationship with him didn’t prepare me for the mess my emotions are in now. Joseph is in my mind constantly, and I want to be with him all the time. When our hands touch in a casual way, my pulse races. But it isn’t only the physical awareness, I just like, him—he’s pleasant company, and I’ll admit that I want to be more to him than his personal trainer.”

  “What’s so bad about that? We all like him.”

  “In the first place, after the heartache over that broken engagement with Ray, I decided I was through with men. Now, only a few months after I stopped dating Ray, I can’t get Joseph out of my mind.”

  “You’re with him several hours a day, it’s natural you would think about him.”

  “I’ve had other male clients who didn’t cause a ripple in my composure. Besides, considering the questions about his wife’s death, I should be cautious.”

  “Do you think he’s guilty of killing her?”

  Connie shook her head.

  “Neither do I. Has he told you anything about that?”

  “Very little, and I certainly won’t bring up the subject.”

  “I wish I could help you, Connie, but it’s a problem you’ll have to work out by yourself. Friends can sympathize and encourage, but there’s a limit to how far we can go.”

  “I know. It helps to talk out my frustrations, so thanks for listening. I like Joseph a lot, but I wish I hadn’t been so hasty to accept his dinner invitation.”

  Smothering a yawn, she fluffed her pillow and stretched out on the bed. “See you in the morning, Kim. Thanks for being my friend.”

  Kim grinned and turned out the light.

  Chapter Five

  Since she had only a few dressy outfits, Connie dithered most of the day about what to wear for her dinner date. She considered the new dress Beverly had bought for her birthday, wondering if the turquoise column dress was too fancy for the occasion. The scalloped sleeves were decorated with matching rhinestones and faux pearls. An elegant V-back fastened with loops and fabric-covered buttons drew attention to the long back slit. She was pulling the dress over her head when Kim came in.

  “Wow!” Kim said, emitting a long whistle. “That’s elegant!”

  Turning in front of the door mirror, Connie said doubtfully, “I don’t know, Kim. It might be too elegant. He may intend to take me to a fast-food place. I don’t want to overexpect.”

  “When Joseph sees you in that outfit, he’ll take you to a classy restaurant. Wear it!”

  With a sigh, Connie said, “I’ll have to—nothing else seems right. After wearing casual clothes most of the time, I’m uncomfortable in dresses.”

  “Let me style your hair,” Kim offered. She brushed Connie’s straight brown hair, used a styling iron to give her fine tendrils a bit of curl and arranged the hair behind her ears.

  “Wear those pearl earrings Beverly gave you for Christmas last year, and you’ll capture Joseph’s heart.”

  “I’m not sure I want to capture his heart,” Connie retorted.

  She slipped on a pair of white mesh slides, and took a light jacket from the closet. She stayed in the room until Joseph knocked at the door, hoping the residents and staff would be in the dining room when they left. Though she considered it a cowardly attitude, she didn’t want NLC residents to speculate on the importance of this outing.

  Even after Joseph knocked, she hesitated. Her appearance this evening was such a contrast to her usual casual attire that she couldn’t help being self-conscious. She took a deep breath and opened the door. What if she’d read more into his invitation than he intended?

  Joseph stared at her, speechless, for a minute. He wore a light-brown suit, matching silk tie, and a white shirt. “You’re a different person, but I like the transformation,” he approved, his drawl more pronounced than usual.

  “Mother bought this dress for my birthday, and I haven’t worn it. She’ll be pleased to see me wearing it.”

  “No more pleased than I am. I feel a little mean insisting on taking you out for dinner when it goes against your policy at the Center, but let’s consider this dinner a part of my therapy. You’re supposed to keep your patients happy, you know.”

  His affectionate, light tone eased her concerns. Time she spent with Joseph was gratifying, so as they drove toward Lakewood, she took pleasure in his company as she always did. He chose a restaurant Connie hadn’t visited, and the carpeted room with private booths, muted lights and soft music lent a romantic atmosphere to their dinner. Both of them ordered seafood entrées.

  After they finished eating, Joseph lingered. Her parents would be expecting her, but she hesitated to rush him. Her hand rested on the table, and he covered it with his.

  “Connie, how much did you know about me before I came to NLC?”

  “Not much. I’d seen you on television a few times.”

  “Have you heard anything about the legal problems I’m having?”

  “Just a little.”

  “Then may I explain? You know my wife died in the accident that caused my injury. It was a bad wreck, so that wasn’t surprising, for the doctors said it was a miracle I wasn’t killed, too. But when the autopsy showed that she probably died from a blow to the head prior to the crash, my brother-in-law held me responsible and demanded that the police make an investigation.”

  “He must have had some reason for the accusation,” Connie said slowly, voicing a thought that was often in her mind.

  “When I came in that evening, Virginia was lying on the floor, unconscious and bleeding from a wound on the back of her head. She’d been drinking heavily the past several months, and I supposed she’d probably passed out and fallen. Our phone lines weren’t operating because of the blizzard, and I couldn’t call 911, but I knew she needed help. I carried her to the car and we were on the way to the hospital
when the accident occurred.

  “The day before her death, Virginia had written a note to her brother, George, and I’ve thought about that note so much the words are etched in my memory. ‘He’s taken all my money and everything else I have. Now he’s threatening to take my life. I don’t know what to do.’ George jumped to the conclusion that she meant me, and he went to the police with his suspicions.

  “For several days after the accident, there was a policeman stationed outside my hospital room.

  “The authorities commandeered my ranch and IRS records, and my sister says they snooped around the ranch a lot in the first few weeks. They’re still monitoring my bank accounts, they check with my lawyers occasionally to see if I have any proof of my innocence, and pay periodic visits to the ranch. Every time they show up at the ranch, I’m afraid they’ve found some evidence that will incriminate me.”

  “If Virginia didn’t mean you, who else could have been threatening her?” Since he’d brought up the subject, Connie wanted to learn all she could about the incident. She’d wondered often, too often, about Joseph’s relationship with his wife.

  “I have no idea. Virginia had inherited almost a half-million dollars from her father. I don’t know what she did with her money, but not one penny of that inheritance came into my pockets. After she died, I learned that she’d been making large cash withdrawals from the bank for several months. The police might have arrested me if they’d found I’d gotten the money, but my bank accounts have always been sparse. They still think I’ve got it stashed away, and now that I’m getting well, they’ll watch every move I make.”

  “Her brother must have had some reason to accuse you.” A look of pain crossed Joseph’s face, and he released her hand. Connie added quickly, “Joseph, don’t get me wrong—I don’t believe you’re the kind of man to do away with your wife, but it’s a question many people might ask.”