Wizard for Hire

by Obert Skye

  “I don’t care,” Clark squawked back. “Just don’t let us die over—or in—it!”

  They came down off the bridge and drove farther into the heart of Portland.

  “I don’t believe this place,” Ozzy said with wide grey eyes. “It’s like a scene from a book.”

  “It is beautiful,” Rin added. “I can’t think of anyplace I like better than here.”

  “So why do you live in Otter Rock?”

  “I have commitments in Otter Rock. Besides, I don’t want to live this close to my sister. She can be unstable.”

  “You mean the sister we’re about to visit?”

  “Yep.”

  Rin turned onto a side street covered by a canopy of trees. The buildings grew smaller and turned from square ones with sharp corners to homes with round-edged roofs and interesting architecture.

  “Now, when we get there, we’re going to have to tell my sister the truth.”

  “Right,” Ozzy agreed.

  “Even though she’s not always the best sister, she’ll be cool . . . probably.”

  “Just get us there so I can get out of this thing and throw up some bolts and wires,” Clark pleaded.

  “Poof,” the wizard said. “We’re here.”

  Rin pulled the car into a small driveway and parked it behind a green car with an orange bumper sticker that said HONK IF YOU DARE.

  Rin tuned off the engine and looked at Ozzy and Clark.

  “I have a favor to ask.”

  “Is it something you should have asked in Otter Rock?” Ozzy asked. “Something you maybe should have asked before we were actually here?”

  “I’m not sure, but it’s not a big thing,” Rin promised. “It’s just that my sister, Ann, is a wompin, a non-believer. She thinks wizards aren’t real.”

  “So she doesn’t believe you exist?” Clark asked.

  “Not at all. I’ve showed her all the things that I think she’s ready to see, but as a wizard I know that some people just aren’t built for the truth.”

  “Right,” Ozzy said. “What’s the favor?”

  “Could we pretend that I brought Clark to life?”

  “What?” Clark asked. “No way.”

  “Can’t you just conjure up some creature or magical beast?”

  Rin shook his head sadly. “Oh, Ozzy. Magic is not a piece of clay you can mold. Unless you’re working with Spell-Doh. And we only need to pretend for tonight and tomorrow. My poor sister needs to see a sign to believe . . . and a talking metal crow is pretty hard to beat.”

  “I’m a raven.”

  “Right. So, what do you say?”

  “What was all that talk about honesty?” Clark asked.

  “It’s well known in Quarfelt that complete honesty is one of the most dangerous of gifts. It’s also one I haven’t received yet. I’m honest in almost all of my dealings, but when it comes to my sister . . . I could use a little help.”

  “Fine,” Clark said. “But if I do this, you owe me a favor. Also, no telling me to do anything I don’t want to do. I’m not your butler.”

  “I can agree to that, but what if she asks me to command you to do something?”

  “Don’t make it humiliating.”

  “Excellent. She’s going to eat her words about me.” Rin smiled wider than Ozzy had ever seen him smile before. “Ready?”

  The three got out of the car.

  “Maybe you should go under my hat, Clark,” Rin suggested. “Then I’ll let you out with a flurry for effect.” He lifted his pointy grey hat.

  Clark grumbled and flew to the top of Rin’s head. Rin set his hat back down, completely covering Clark.

  Ozzy followed Rin up a thin walkway to a yellow door. The wizard knocked three times and then took a step back.

  They heard the sound of something moving around inside, followed by the door popping open. In front of them stood Rin’s sister, Ann. She had deep black hair that was puffy on top and blue eyes that matched the color of her sandals. Her smile was welcoming like a warm meal. She was thin and wearing a pink skirt and a white blouse. Overall, she was much prettier, younger, and put together than Ozzy had thought she’d be.

  “Brian!” Ann said happily.

  “It’s Rin now, remember?”

  “Of course.”

  The brother-wizard and sister-fact-checker hugged in a way most movies hope to capture. When the embrace ended, Ann stepped back and looked at Ozzy. Her shiny eyes welled up just a bit.

  “You must be Ozzy,” she said. “Come in, my brother’s told me your whole story.”

  “He has?”

  “Sorry,” Rin whispered.

  “He called last night and I just couldn’t believe what you’ve been through. You poor boy.”

  Before Ozzy could stop her, Ann lunged forward and gave him a hug. As a fourteen-year-old boy, Ozzy was pretty certain that hugs were not for him. But being a fourteen­-year-old boy who had lost his mother years before and had since then experienced very little human contact, the hug was like a clean, clear lake discovered after years of wandering through a dry, dusty desert.

  “Now,” Ann said after the hug ended. “Is anyone hungry?”

  Ozzy wasn’t, but he nodded yes.

  “Good.”

  Ann waved them both all the way in and shut the yellow door behind them.

  The interior of Ann’s house was interesting, to say the least—and charming, to say the most. It was filled with unusual knickknacks like unicorns and Star Wars figures that were set up in different poses around the room. There was a jukebox in the corner and her couch had mismatched cushions. Everything was clean, though, and it did have a kind of wizard’s-sister feel. Ann led her brother and Ozzy into the open dining space next to the front room. She waved her hands and motioned for them to take a seat. Ozzy took a red chair on the side of the table and Rin sat in a blue chair at the head.

  “Can I get you two anything to drink before we eat? Warm almond milk, maybe?”

  “Is that something people like?” Ozzy asked her.

  “Not everyone—I’m just not sure how to be a good host to someone who’s been through such an ordeal.”

  Ann looked directly at Ozzy.

  “Do you have Sprite?” he asked.

  “I’m so sorry . . . this is a no-sugar house.”

  Ozzy looked around and wondered if she was talking about what the home was made from. If Rin was a wizard, maybe she was a witch with a tempting candy house, except her home was sugar-free to tempt all the little Portland kids who didn’t eat sugar.

  Ann noticed him looking around and felt a need to explain herself.

  “What I mean is that there’s no sugar allowed here.”

  Ozzy looked worried. “Is that the law?”

  Rin’s sister smiled. “It should be, but it’s not. I just don’t allow it.”

  Rin looked at Ozzy and rolled his eyes.

  “I’ll have water, if that’s okay,” Ozzy said.

  “Water it is.”

  “I’ll have warm almond milk,” Rin said.

  Ann walked off into the kitchen.

  “What’d I tell you? My sister can be a real pill.”

  “She seems pretty nice, and aside from the toys in her house, not at all like you.”

  “Um, excuse me,” Rin said, sounding offended. “I would never just open my toys and put them out like that. The value is in keeping them in mint condition. Did you see that first-run Han Solo just sitting on the coffee table? It’s barbaric.”

  “I wouldn’t know.”

  “Well, take it from a wizard—it is.”

  “Hey,” Clark said from under Rin’s hat. “When can I get out of here? My batteries aren’t as charged as they should be.”

  “Hold on,” Rin whispered defensively. “I’m waiting for the
right moment. It’s going to be a whole big reveal.”

  “I like the sound of that,” Clark said. “But could you hurry it up?”

  “Shhh!”

  Ann came back into the room carrying two plates of food.

  “Are you shushing me?” she asked.

  “No—I was starting to say sure and changed my mind.”

  Rin’s sister set the food down in front of her two guests.

  “This is something I just came up with. Enjoy.”

  She then went back to the kitchen.

  Ozzy looked down at his plate. He wasn’t a food snob by any stretch of the imagination. He had grown up eating nothing but fish and freeze-dried food and the few vegetables he grew in his garden. He’d even consumed a lot of canned goods that were years past their expiration date. No, Ozzy was not picky. But what was in front of him now made his stomach turn.

  “Is this food?” he asked Rin.

  The plate was covered with a gel-like substance the color of faded green furniture. Sprigs of some type of root vegetable stuck out of the goo and a square, flesh-colored cube was plopped in the center of the plate.

  “My sister’s a health nut,” Rin whispered. “Just push the stuff around and pretend you’re eating it. That’s what I do.”

  Ozzy dipped his spoon in the goo and took a lick.

  “Does she not use salt? It tastes like glue.”

  “She only uses seasonings she can grow herself.”

  Ann came back into the room with her plate and a pitcher of water. She filled everyone’s glasses and took a seat.

  “So . . . how is it?”

  “Delicious, thank you,” Ozzy lied.

  “Reminds me of Grandma’s farm,” Rin said.

  “Thank you, too.”

  Ann took a bite of her own creation and Ozzy could have sworn that he saw her wince just a bit. She finished chewing and spoke.

  “So, at seven you were left alone?”

  “I was.”

  “And you raised yourself without any help? How did you eat?”

  “Our basement was filled to the ceiling with boxes of canned and dried food. I think my parents were planning to not go anywhere for a while. I also planted a small garden and the house has water.”

  “But no electricity?”

  “No.”

  “You speak so well. How is that possible? I mean, I don’t want to be insulting, but I imagined you sounding more like Tarzan or the Jungle Boy.”

  “I think I speak like I do because I have tapes of my father talking and I listen to them all the time.”

  “Oh, that’s just so sad.”

  “It is,” Ozzy said, feeling no need to hide the truth.

  “You must have been so scared.”

  “Terrified. For so long, I thought it would always just be me. Sometimes I would see planes flying overhead, and the books I read suggested there was much more out there, but for the most part it felt like my world was the cloaked house and loneliness.”

  “The cloaked house?” she asked.

  “It’s what I call my home. It’s a cabin, but over the years vegetation has almost consumed it to the point that it looks like it’s part of the forest.”

  “Unbelievable. And now you’re trying to find your parents?”

  “I am.”

  “Green men took them?” she said compassionately.

  “Well, men wearing green.”

  “So terribly sad. And look at me, making things worse by keeping you from your food. Eat up.”

  Ozzy took a small bite of the blobby square. Luckily it tasted like nothing.

  “So good,” Ozzy said.

  “I love to cook. I think someday I’ll open a food truck. Ann’s Edibles.”

  “Will you serve this?” Rin asked, fidgeting with his hat.

  “I might. Now, tell me why you two came to Portland?”

  Ozzy wasn’t usually prone to just talking and talking, but by doing so he could avoid the meal that Ann thought was edible. He told her more of his backstory and about school and Timsby. He would have gone on, but Clark was itching for the big reveal. The bird sank its claws into Rin’s scalp, gently reminding the wizard to get on with it.

  “Aagghh!” Rin yelped.

  “Are you okay?” his sister asked. “Is the food too spicy?”

  “I’m fine—I was just having another wizardly premonition.”

  “Really?” Ann said sounding doubtful.

  “Yes, really. I feel the need to warn you that you should buy more sunscreen before the summer arrives.”

  “I have three tubes in the hall closet.”

  “You can heed my warning if you wish, or you can walk blindly into the future pretending you see more than you do.”

  Ann sighed. “So how is the wizard business these days, big brother?”

  “It’s just as it should be.”

  “And you still won’t consider going back to teaching?”

  “Ha,” Rin said. “I teach every day and every moment.”

  “That’s true,” Ozzy said. “Earlier he showed me how a drive-thru works.”

  “That’s why you two aren’t eating more,” Ann said. “I knew there was a reason.”

  “Sorry,” Ozzy said. “I didn’t know you would be serving food.”

  “No problem. I’m just so relieved that it’s not my cooking.”

  Clark did some more scalp scratching.

  “Yahhh!” Rin said. “I feel we should bring the conversation back to me. I have a strong feeling that you still don’t accept me for who I am.”

  “I accept you, I just don’t want to support something that won’t benefit your future.”

  “What? Everything I do benefits the future of mankind. If Quarfelt taught me anything, it’s that I have a duty to help every living creature. I think you still doubt my abilities.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Well, then maybe this will help.”

  Rin ripped off his hat to reveal Clark.

  “Abracazum!”

  It might have been a big reveal if the darkness of being under Rin’s hat hadn’t temporarily shut Clark down. So instead of a magical speaking bird gliding down onto the table, there was what looked like just a tangled mess of metal and wings stuck in Rin’s hair.

  “Are you kidding me?” Rin said, deflated. “Wake up, Clark!”

  “Is that some sort of bird toy?” Ann asked.

  “No. You’ll see.”

  The sun coming through the windows brought Clark back to life. He instantly began to thrash and struggle to get out of Rin’s bushy mop.

  “I’m stuck!” Clark chirped. “My talon’s twisted around your hair!”

  Ann screamed in surprise at the motion and voice of Clark.

  “What is that?”

  “It’s Clark,” Ozzy said. “He’s a bird.”

  Ozzy stood up and helped untangle Clark from Rin’s hair. As soon as the bird was free he flew around the room in a tight speedy circle.

  Ann did some more screaming.

  “Clark!” Rin shouted. “Behave!”

  The bird swooped down and landed on the table next to Rin. He looked at Ann’s startled face and took a gracious bow.

  “Clark, at your service, miss.”

  “Is it a toy or a drone of some sort?”

  “Excuse me?” Clark said.

  “No, it’s Clark. My wizard companion.”

  “It’s made of metal,” Ann pointed out.

  “And some leather,” Rin told her.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I’m a bird,” Clark said. “I can fly, talk, and think for myself. For example, I think your home looks like it was decorated by a child.”

  “Thank you,” Ann said. “That’s what I was going for. B
ut how are you moving around and speaking?”

  “Light. It touches my back here.” Using his right wing, Clark pointed to the silver strip on his back. “The rest is magic.”

  Clark turned and winked at Rin.

  Rin nodded in approval.

  “I’m not sure what you really are,” Ann admitted. “But you’re remarkable.”

  “Now it’s my turn to say thank you.”

  Clark flew around the room a couple of more times.

  “I don’t understand that,” Ann said while pointing towards the flying bird.

  “You heard the bird—magic,” Rin insisted.

  Clark glided in for a smooth landing next to Ann. She pulled back in her seat as if frightened.

  “I won’t bite.”

  “You can’t tell anyone about the bird,” Rin informed his sister. “I’m trusting you as family.”

  Ann nodded.

  “Now, could we use your computer?”

  Ann kept her eyes on Clark. “But you haven’t finished your food.”

  “The drive-thru, remember?” Rin said.

  “Right. I’ll store it in the fridge for later.”

  Ozzy and Rin passed their food to Ann. Ozzy had always wanted to have a refrigerator. The ability to keep food fresh and eat it later was very appealing. Now, however, he wasn’t so sure.

  Ozzy was given the guest bedroom to sleep in for the night. It was a small room with a bed that looked and felt like a marshmallow. The sheets were made with a magic that rivaled anything Ann’s brother had ever done. Like his attic room in the cloaked house, there was a single dormer with a single window. Unlike the cloaked house, this window was square and looked out over a neighborhood park. The window’s view was best when Ozzy stretched out on the bed and looked up at the dark sky.

  The stars looked so different than they did at home. There were fewer of them and they didn’t seem as alert and twinkling. Ozzy had spent many nights looking at the stars, wondering how they could connect him to his missing parents. Now, as he rested in a beautiful bed in a different spot on the globe, he could see that despite the differences, everything was somehow hooked together.

  Clark was standing on a wicker chair next to the bed. He clawed at the straw seat, trying to make a comfortable place to rest.

  There was a knock on the bedroom door.