Broken Promise

by Theresa Scott

  ''Fine batch of Badger brides!" complimented one man.

  It took some time to tell the story of how each bride had been caught. Star wanted to put her hands over her ears because, with each telling, the Jaguars became braver and finer and the Badgers became more pitiful and useless. Awed listeners asked so many questions about the cowardly Badgers that Star wanted to scream at them to go away. She opened her mouth to do so, and was promptly propelled away by Falcon.

  "Do not say anything, wife," he warned. "Now is not the time to start telling them stories about the heroic Darkstar saving her people. My people will not stand for it."

  Star raised an eyebrow. Ever since they had been married he had not missed a single opportunity to call her "wife." When she had awakened in his arms that morning, it was to the stares of the other Badger brides. He had called her "wife" then. Elk Knees gave an amused smile, Fawn giggled, and Pine Woman looked relieved and pitying at the same time. Sageflower and Chokecherry both looked shocked. And now here she was at his people's camp and he was still calling her "wife."

  Many of the Jaguar People were staring at her curiously.

  "Who is this one?"

  The man who asked had a pinched look on his face. "How was she captured? Whom does she belong to?"

  "She is mine, Marmot," said Falcon, placing himself between the inquiring man and Star.

  There was a note in Falcon's voice that Star could not interpret. "No need to concern yourself with her."

  A beautiful woman walked up to join Marmot. Her lovely face was further enhanced by a wide swath of white hair that grew at her forehead and swept back over her long black hair in two white streaks. Star stared, never having seen such a striking woman. On her back, the woman wore a thick hide and out of the top peeped a baby with bright black eyes.

  "Greetings, Tula," said Falcon.

  The woman sniffed contemptuously. Marmot puffed up his chest. "Do not speak to her. She wants nothing to do with you."

  Tula met Star's eyes. "Who are you?" she demanded.

  Before Star could answer, Falcon said, "My bride."

  Tula gasped and her eyes narrowed assessingly.

  Marmot scowled.

  Falcon grimaced.

  Star squirmed. Something did not feel right about this conversation.

  Tula glared at Star for several heartbeats. "Are all Badger women so ugly?" She sneered.

  "I am not ugly," answered Star calmly, though she did not feel calm inside. In a confused turmoil, she wondered, Why is this woman so hateful to me?

  Lips set in a stern line, Tula said, "Come along, Marmot," and marched over to assess the other Badger brides. The baby on her back turned and stared at Star.

  Marmot licked his lips. "Oh, but I do like Badger women," he said. Then, laughing at Falcon's reddened face, he hurried after Tula.

  "Who was that?" asked Star.

  "That wood rat of a man is Marmot, Tula's husband." Falcon's scar throbbed white against the surging red of his face. "And Tula is my former wife."

  Star blinked. He had not mentioned a wife before.

  "I do not want you talking to her. She is trouble," gritted Falcon. "I cannot have you speaking with her."

  "I have nothing I wish to say to her. And she does not talk kindly to me." Indeed, Star needed little encouragement to avoid the woman.

  "I do not want you talking to any of the other Jaguar women!"

  "So you have said."

  They must have much information about him, thought Star. I wonder what he is trying to hide?

  "Do not believe anything Tula says."

  "How will I hear anything from her if I am not talking to her?" Whatever he is trying to hide, it must be important, Star thought. But is it important enough to seek Tula out?

  She let Falcon lead her over to a place where the grass was flattened. "We will set up our tent here," he said.

  Star set down her basket and possessions. Falcon unrolled a thick, wide mat of many elk hides sewn together. "This is my tent," explained Falcon.

  He dug two deep holes and placed a stout,

  forked stick in the hole. Then he filled in the dirt until the stick stood firmly planted. He did the same with a second forked stick. Next, Falcon cradled a third stick across the two forks, like a crossbar. Together, Star and Falcon lifted the heavy, sewn elk hide and placed it over the crossbar. The two sides formed the tent walls. Falcon walked around the outside of the tent, weighting the tent flaps down with round boulders so that the tent would not blow away in a strong wind.

  When they were finished, Star stepped back to admire her work. A hunting scene was painted in red ocher on each side of the tent. On one side, the scene showed a falcon swooping down to attack a huge deer with many-branched antlers. On the other side of the tent, the scene showed a falcon flying off, a dead rabbit grasped in its deadly talons.

  Star shivered. She knew how the rabbit felt. "Did Tula paint the pictures on the tent?" she asked.

  Falcon shot her a pained look. "No. My mother did."

  "Ah. Your mother is a very good artist."

  "Yes. She was. She is dead."

  "Oh."

  Judging from the strained silence, Star decided not to ask anything more about his mother.

  "She died soon after my son was born." Falcon's lips were tight, as though he forced the words out.

  "Your son?" floundered Star. She stared at him. "You never said anything about a son." Or about a wife, either, she wanted to add.

  Falcon glared at her. "If I wanted you to know about my son, I would have told you about him."

  "Isis this your way of telling me? Is that your son on Tula's back?"

  "No!" He walked over to the back tent opening and draped a wide, tan-colored camel hide over it. Then he walked to the front end of the tent and placed a white, thickly furred mountain sheep hide over it as a doorflap.

  Star waited for him to speak but he said nothing more. Evidently he did not want to talk about his son. Perhaps she should talk with Tula ... or one of the other Jaguar women.

  Falcon did not know why he had told this woman so much. A swirling confusion of feelings invaded him as they always did whenever he thought about his son. Love mixed with guilt and disappointment and grief assailed him. Pain as though from a spear lanced through his heart and he gritted his teeth to keep from crying out. My son, he cried silently. My son! Ah, Hawk, I loved you so much... . Why would the Great Spirit not hear my prayers and let you live? Why were you taken from me?

  A terrible agony shook Falcon and he had to stop his efforts to drape the tent. If only his son had lived, if only the Great Spirit had answered Falcon's prayers. He had done everything a man could do to make his son survive. He had paid the shaman to sing strong chants over Hawk. He had fed him invigorating broths. He had hunted for the best, the strongest animals and fed the most powerful parts to his son: the lion's heart to make him brave and want to live, the elk's liver to give him strength, the fox's brains to give him the wisdom that Tula insisted he had. But none of itnone of ithad done any good.

  During the last days of his son's life when Hawk had fallen suddenly deathly sick, Falcon had been on his knees praying, begging the Great Spirit to let the boy live. And had He? No, He had taken the boy. Taken him away to wherever it was the dead went. Taken him and left a broken man and a bitter, distraught woman. Together they had destroyed what little was left of their love after their son's sickness had come. And now there were ashes in Tula's heart for him, and ashes in his heart for her, where before there had been only love. His son's death had taken everything worth living for in Falcon's life: his marriage, his son, his hope that one day his son would stand beside him, strong and healthy and whole. Everything, every one of Falcon's dreams for his life had been burned to ashes.

  That was what the Great Spirit had done by taking Hawk.

  Even Hawk's baby name was different from the other children's. When Falcon was a child, his baby name had been Hawklet and he had named his son after hims
elf. But though he had bestowed a powerful name upon Hawk it had done no good.

  Tula's insistence that Hawk was a special child, destined to be a great shaman someday, had not helped. When Falcon had watched Hawk fall down in a foaming fit, when he had looked at Hawk's twisted legs, and seen his scrawny body grow slowly year after year, Falcon had hoped

  that Tula would prove correct, that the Great Spirit did have special plans for his son, that He wanted Hawk to be a great teacher or healer for the Jaguar People.

  But it had not turned out that way, thought Falcon. He felt the bitter legacy of his son's death invade his throat. Tears! A grown man with tears over a son's death.

  What a weakling I am, he thought. I should be done with tears. I should know that tears make no difference. That there is no meaning to life. If there were, my son would have lived. And if there is truly a Great Spirit, He would have heard my pleas, my father's cries! He would have seen the love that I bore my child and he would have let him live. But He did not. So I know there is no Great Spirit. It is all lies that the shaman told me, that my mother spoke to me when she taught me to pray to the Great Spirit. All lies that my father showed me that day when we stood on the Canyon of the Doves and he told me that someday my strong, healthy son would look out across the land with me and see the animals and know the land. All lies! He gritted his teeth until his jaw ached and his scar twitched.

  His new wife was watching him closely, and he wanted to turn away from her gaze. He could not tell her what had happened. The pain was too raw.

  "Stay away from Tula," was all he could get out. He stumbled away, leaving Star staring after him.

  Chapter Eighteen

  A huge fire burned on a round, flat spot that sloped gently to the river. That morning, two Jaguar hunters had brought in the last of the six deer and there had been much shouting and laughing. Now the Jaguar marriage celebrations could begin!

  Star watched as men and women warmed themselves near the fire. The Jaguar women visited and talked with each other and sometimes pulled roasted roots out of the hot dirt pits they had dug and lined with leaves beside the huge fire. The Jaguar men clustered in small groups, also talking.

  Several baskets and platters of food were laid out in a neat line. There were baskets of dried blueberries, baskets of dried blackberries, and baskets of dried red huckleberries. There was a leaf-lined platter of freshly picked mushrooms.

  Split sides of staked salmon roasted at the edges of the fire. Mounds of bear meat and elk meat sat heaped on wooden platters. The delicious scent of steaming camas roots wafted through the air.

  Excitement throbbed in the drumming. Three old women beat skin drums using sticks cushioned with soft leather on one end. Two old men sang hunting songs. When they finished, a third old man slyly broke into a song about a hunting party that hunted only brides.

  Two little boys grabbed up handfuls of tasty, spiced bear meat from a platter, while a camp dog sniffed at roots set out to cool. A little girl ran over and chased the dog away from the food.

  Everywhere Star looked there was somebody laughing. People chatted excitedly. Happiness was rampantamong the Jaguars, that is, thought Star morosely. But among the Badger brides, whom she stood with, some were happy, and some were not.

  Star was not. She glanced down at herself. Once she had learned that the marriages were to be celebrated this day, she had forced herself to put on her new dress, the soft white leather one that her mother had made. But now the sight of the dress and her lovely moccasins only brought tears to her eyes. Many a winter night she had watched her mother sew the black and white porcupine quills on the dress. Many a night they had talked in quiet voices by the fire, planning her life, planning what they would do when she was married to Camel Stalker and Blue Jay was a grandmother.

  Star would live happily in the tent of Camel

  Stalker. Her mother, Blue Jay, would dote on her grandchildren, all three of them. Star knew she would sit on long winter evenings sewing tiny moccasins for her children's feet. In the summer she would take her children to the river to swim and play. She would tell them stories and sing them songs and guide them, as Blue Jay would continue to guide her.

  How carefully Star had planned her life! How confident she had been that she knew just what to do, just what man to marry. She had known exactly how she would live and just what would happen to her!

  And now here she wasmarried to a Jaguar man that she did not know and about to celebrate that same marriage with a feast among people she did not know. Her life was not working out at all as she and her mother had planned!

  Suddenly Star yearned for her mother. Tears filled her eyes. How she wanted to be held in her mother's arms and comforted! How she wanted her mother to know that her life had changed forever. Cruel memories of her dashed hopes and dead dreams flitted through her brain.

  Ah, but is my life so bad? came an unbidden thought. I have a strong, handsome husband. One who sends shivers through my body whenever I look at him ...

  "So. You have already married the Jaguar they call Falcon." Elk Knees's voice held an amused note that jarred Star out of her tortured thoughts.

  "He married me. I did not marry him!"

  "Oh? Is there a difference?" Elk Knees laughed openly.

  Star said nothing. Anger and embarrassment washed over her; she was irritated, too, that Elk Knees should find her terrible predicament so amusing.

  ''I will tell you something," said Elk Knees, coming closer. She set down the basket of dried berries she had been carrying. "First I must know, did you mate with him?"

  "What?" gasped Star. "How dare you ask me such a thing?"

  Elk Knees shrugged. "No need to be offended. It is of some consequence," she answered. "I merely wanted to know."

  Star turned away.

  Elk Knees blocked her path. "I ask you this for a reason, Star. I do not ask it to hurt you."

  Star met Elk Knees's eyes. Indeed, the woman seemed sincere.

  "What I wanted to tell you is this: once a man has mated with a woman, he wants her again and again. At least most men do."

  Star blushed and glanced down at the ground.

  "I see I have embarrassed you," said Elk Knees. "That was not my intent. My husband, before he was killed, could never have enough of mating. I wanted to warn you about that. It will probably be that way with your new husband."

  Star felt her cheeks grow hot.

  "It is best if you do not let him mate with you too often. That way he will not expect so much and you will have many opportunities to rest. It goes much easier for you."

  Star wanted to stop up her ears with her fingers.

  "Of course," continued Elk Knees, "once you are pregnant with your first child then he must leave you alone. And for the three years that you nurse the child, you will be free from his attentions."

  Star gaped at her. "Butbut it feels so wonderful... ." she blurted.

  "Wonderful? Girl, have you become crazed? It is not wonderful. Why, it hurts; they care little for the woman... ." She frowned. "Why do you shake your head?"

  "Because," murmured Star, "it was not that way for me. When he touched me, it felt wonderful. II wanted to melt into him."

  "Pah! We do not speak about the same thing, I think," said Elk Knees. "It has never been like that for me. I think you lie."

  "I do not lie, Elk Knees."

  The two women stared at each other.

  "A woman needs a man," said Elk Knees slowly. "I know that. She needs a man to hunt for her, to give her children, to protect her from fierce animals. But she must endure in the bedskins, not enjoy. That is the only part of marriage that I do not like. I want a Jaguar husband but I do not like"

  "Come! The feast is about to begin!" Pine Woman ran up, breathless with the news. "They are calling for us down at the fire!" She straightened her clothing and touched her hair. "Do I look pretty? I am going to marry Lance!" She hugged herself in delight.

  "Oh!" cried Fawn and did a little dance o
f excitement. Her body quivered in the smooth yellow doeskin dress she wore. A necklace of dried red berries bounced on her breast, and tiny white flowers peeked out of her shining black hair.

  Chokecherry and Sageflower regarded each other with dread. "I do not want to get married," moaned Chokecherry. Her black hair was tangled and a huge spot of grease darkened the middle of her leather dress.

  Earlier, she and Sageflower had been out gathering roots for the feast and Sageflower's bare legs were still muddy up to the knees. The two women clung to each other.

  Elk Knees gave Star a knowing glance. "Soon you will understand what I mean." Then she sauntered off after a capering Pine Woman.

  Star smoothed her dress one more time and slowly followed the others. Her heartbeat quickened as she remembered the feel of Falcon's lips, the touch of his hands.

  When she reached the fire and joined the other brides, she caught sight of Falcon and she gasped. He was clad in brown leather trousers. The leather thongs of his moccasins crisscrossed up to the knees. Over his broad naked chest he wore a black-spotted skin vest. Around his neck he wore a bear-tooth necklace. The teeth were huge, bigger than any Star had ever seen before, and she knew they must have come from a giant bear. Star marveled that Falcon had killed such a huge beast, for no one else but the hunter would have the right to wear such teeth.

  Missing were his knives at the waist and the spear he usually carried everywhere.

  On both his wrists he wore thick leather bands decorated with painted black falcon designs. Draped down one side of his hair, white against the shining black, was a line of feathers that fell past his shoulder.

  He had painted three slanted red lines of ocher on the smooth skin of each of his upper arms. She knew the ocher meant good fortune. It troubled her to see this sign of hope on the man that she was marrying. Did he have hope then for the marriage they had embarked upon? Such a notion did not fit with the man she knew.

  He was listening to something one of the men said and he threw back his head and laughed. She saw his strong jaw, his white teeth, his black hair that drifted past his shoulders. Suddenly she wanted him.