Chloe by Design: Measuring Up

by Margaret Gurevich

  Measure twice, cut once or you won't make the cut.

  Table of Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Dear Diary

  1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

  8

  9

  10

  11

  12

  Dear Diary

  13

  14

  15

  16

  17

  18

  19

  20

  21

  22

  Dear Diary

  23

  24

  25

  26

  27

  28

  29

  30

  31

  32

  Dear Diary

  33

  34

  35

  36

  37

  38

  39

  40

  41

  42

  43

  The Author

  The Illustrator

  Follow Chloe's Journey

  Copyright

  Back Cover

  This past summer was too amazing for words! Interning for Stefan Meyers in New York City was such an incredible experience. I learned so much about the fashion industry during my eight weeks there. I used to think it was all about designing, but there’s so much more to it than that. I know that designing is still what I want to do, but when I have my own label one day, it’ll be good that I learned the behind-the-scenes stuff too.

  The only disappointing thing about the summer was that I didn’t get to see nearly as much of Jake — my sort-of friend, sort-of boyfriend — as I’d planned. I thought once I was in NYC we’d see each other all the time, since that’s where he lives and goes to school. But being a working girl is a lot of pressure. We’re still friends and stay in touch, but now that I’m back home in Cali we see each other even less. (I know there’s nothing I can do about it, but it’s hard not to feel a little left out when I see my best friend Alex and her new boyfriend, Dan.)

  Speaking of feeling left out… I’ve been back home for almost a month now, and I still can’t seem to get back into the groove. I feel miles away from everyone else, even Alex. Everyone is talking about college this and college that, and

  I’m still adjusting to being back. People seem to find it hard to believe that I spent two months in the FIT dorms and didn’t see the campus at all, but it’s the truth. My summer wasn’t about touring colleges. It was about learning the fashion industry inside and out. If I could turn back time, I’d schedule a tour and learn more about FIT and Parsons when I had the chance, but it is what it is.

  Another weird thing since I’ve been back is Nina LeFleur, my number one rival — she’s actually been nice to me! Well, maybe not exactly nice, but at least not awful like in the past. Sometimes, she’ll even stop to make small talk about school and fashion. It doesn’t seem like she’s trying to mess with me, but it’s just one more thing that makes me feel like everything changed while I was away and someone forgot to give me the new script.…

  Xoxo — Chloe

  Today will be a good day, I tell myself as I hop out of bed. I’ve been feeling off for too long now, and it’s time to get back in the swing of things. I keep telling myself that if I just act happy, it’s bound to rub off and make me happy for real. (So far, not much luck with that.)

  I start with my outfit — cute clothes are always a good pick-me-up. I’m not in the mood for bright colors today. That means I need a fun, black dress that can hold its own. I choose a sleeveless suede shift dress in black that falls just above the knee. Its embroidered square pattern keeps it from being boring, and I can add a blazer or sweater if I get chilly. Now for the shoes. My black sandals that lace up at the ankle are perfect.

  “Liking the smile,” my mom says when I arrive downstairs for breakfast. “I’ve missed it.”

  I give her a quick hug. “Me too. I know I’ve been kind of a grump lately. I just didn’t realize how much I’d miss by being gone for two months. Not that I regret it. It’s just that everyone seems to have all their college stuff figured out, and they’ve hung out all summer. I don’t know exactly where I fit in.”

  Mom nods. “I get why you feel like that, but I know for a fact that Alex is thrilled to have you home. She’s practically moved in since you got back. Which reminds me — I need to buy more of those Doritos she likes.”

  Alex has been over a lot. But most of those times, Dan’s been with her. Which is fine, I guess. But when they’re both here, it means double the college talk. If I’m being totally honest, Alex and Dan coming over as a couple would probably bother me less if I had Jake around. But that’s not an option when he lives on the other side of the country.

  “Are you going to talk to your advisor today?” Mom asks. “Maybe get some info on colleges and deadlines?”

  I sigh. Clearly, college talk is unavoidable. “I don’t even want to think about application deadlines.”

  Mom smiles. “You can’t just pretend they don’t exist. And we need to figure out when and how we’re going to get back to New York City so you can tour both Parsons and FIT.”

  “I’ll be fine if we can just tour FIT,” I say. “It’s always been my dream school. And besides, it’s cheaper than Parsons.”

  “True, but Dad and I want you to make an informed decision. We want you to see both schools. FIDM too. That’s in-state and an excellent school.”

  My cereal has gotten soggy, and I feel my smile slipping away. Mom is right about me trying to put off college talk, but I just wish everything could be decided already. If it could be decided without my input, that would be even better. I hate feeling so overwhelmed.

  “We’ll have to figure out how to pay for airfare to visit FIDM too,” I mumble.

  “That’s right.” Mom kisses the top of my hair and gently lifts my chin. “We will. Your job is to keep your mind open.”

  “Okay,” I say. I force down my cereal and head to school. Let the Monday blues begin.

  * * *

  “What’s with the long face?” asks Alex at my locker later that morning.

  Clearly, being an actress is not in my future. I can’t even pretend to be perky if I’m not feeling it. “It’s Monday,” I reply with a shrug. I hesitate for a moment and then add, “Plus my mom decided to start off my morning by reminding me we need to tour colleges.”

  Alex bites her lip, like she wants to say something, and puts her hands in the pockets of her black overalls. She has the bottoms rolled up and is wearing a cute, long-sleeved striped T-shirt underneath.

  Even though I’ve seen Alex’s new look several times already, each new outfit makes me giddy. I love that she actually likes going shopping now. Which is what I wish we were doing right now. Instead, I’m staring at Alex’s worried face.

  I sigh. “What? Spit it out.”

  “You really want to know?” Alex asks.

  “No, but friends should be honest with each other, so speak.”

  “I guess I just don’t think it’s a bad thing that your mom brought up college tours,” she says. “I looked some stuff up online, and application deadlines are in January —”

  “You looked up stuff for me?” I interrupt.

  This is so Alex. When I first heard about Teen Design Diva auditions — which feels like forever ago — I was so overwhelmed that I couldn’t even look at the requirements. Alex was the one who went to the website and printed out all th
e information. She gave me the push and confidence I needed to apply. And don’t get me wrong, I’m still super grateful. But sometimes it takes me a while to wrap my brain around something, and my best friend’s pushiness can be a little… well… pushy.

  Alex blushes. “Too much? I’m sorry. I was just trying to help. You’ve seemed a little overwhelmed since you got back from New York. I just want you to be as excited about college stuff as I am.”

  I take a deep breath and count slowly to ten. I know Alex means well. But this is too much for a Monday morning. Not only do I have to make appointments for college tours and figure out paying for airfare, but this conversation has reminded me how behind in the process I actually am. I only have a few months to complete my applications and turn them in.

  When I don’t say anything, Alex puts her hand on my arm. “Chloe, I’ll help you make a schedule. Whatever you need.”

  I shake my head. I don’t want to think about a schedule right now. What I need is to not think. Not about this anyway.

  I shrug Alex’s hand away. “I need to get to class,” I say. “I’ll talk to you about it later.”

  Alex’s face falls, which makes me feel even worse. I know she’s trying to help, but I’m not ready for that kind of help yet.

  By the time I get home from school, all I want to do is flop down on my bed and read a fashion magazine. But the conversations I had with my mom and Alex are still running around in my mind. Maybe the only way to stop their words from invading my brain is to do something about it.

  I open my laptop and go to FIT’s website first. This seems like the best place to start. It’s always been my dream school, and I’m at least somewhat familiar with it since I stayed in the dorms there during my internship. Maybe I didn’t see anything besides the dorms, but it’s something.

  I click through the different sections on the website. The campus photos look nice, and the video showing students sketching outside makes me feel at home. The different students all seem to have their own style, which I love. It would be so boring if everyone looked the same. Some are wearing clothes that are simple and chic, like what I tend to wear. A student in a jersey dress and sneakers reminds me of Alex’s sporty style. There are kids in preppier clothes too, and I admire the outfit of a girl in a pleated skirt, sleeveless white blouse, and tie. Another student is sporting a more bohemian look that makes me think of the sketches I did while people watching in NYC over the summer. The girl is wearing a crocheted top that hangs loosely over embroidered shorts, and her hair is in braids that graze the layered necklaces she’s piled on.

  I watch the video a little longer and then click on the How To Apply tab. I groan when I see I have to write an essay about why I want to attend FIT. I wish I could explain myself in clothes. It’s so much easier explaining myself through my designs than through words.

  With that in mind, I click on the Portfolio Requirements tab. The first thing on the list is another essay. My heart sinks, but I feel better when I see the topic: Write about a hard time in a workplace. I can handle that. My internship at Stefan Meyers definitely wasn’t easy, so I’m sure I can find something to write about. The time I tried to cut corners on an assignment given to me by Laura, one of my bosses, could be a good example. Even now I shudder when I think about it. I did learn from it, though, and got another chance.

  I scan the page to see what else I have to do and start to get dizzy reading through all the project descriptions. I knew I’d have to submit a portfolio of some kind, but thought it would just be a collection of my sketches. Boy, was I wrong. One part asks for samples of my designs and another wants photos of stuff I’ve sewn. And then there’s a third task that asks applicants to create a fashion line for a pop star, imagining what he or she would wear on stage, out with friends, and lounging around.

  Relax, Chloe, I tell myself, taking a deep breath. One thing at a time. This is totally doable. You’ve got this.

  I print out the pages and stack the papers into a neat pile. Then I decide to take a break. That was enough for one day, right? I pick up one of my magazines and sprawl out on my bed, but I can’t concentrate on the photos. A voice inside my head keeps telling me I didn’t put a dent in this college thing at all. I flip through the pages of the magazine, hoping the outfits and styling tips will push the nagging voice out, but it doesn’t work. I need to feel like I did something today.

  Reluctantly, I put down my magazine and pick up an old sketchpad, flipping through until I find the sketches I drew for my Teen Design Diva auditions. They give me an idea, and I run to my closet. I can use some of the designs I sewed for the auditions for my FIT portfolio. The silk dress I designed for the first round of auditions was one of my favorites, but the stitching was really off, which means I can’t use it. That was before I learned how to sew silk properly.

  Light-bulb moment! I can email the Design Diva producers and ask them for photos of the designs I made while on the show. Having a concrete place to start for one part of the portfolio makes me feel better.

  I look through more sketches and see one of the outfits Alex wore when she came to see me in New York during Fashion Week. I remember how excited I felt when I first saw it. The fitted black T-shirt, distressed boyfriend jeans, and studded black flats were such a surprise from her previous fashion mantra of sweatpants chic.

  That gives me another idea — maybe one of the sections in my portfolio can be dedicated to Alex’s evolving look. After all, I’ve definitely influenced that, and I love sketching outfits for my best friend. I start to get more excited than nervous, and scribble down some notes on my ideas. Then I draft a quick email to the Design Diva people asking about the photographs I’ll need. Finally feeling somewhat accomplished, I close my laptop.

  But what about the other colleges? the annoying voice in my head nags again. I shoo it away. So what that I don’t have a pop star picked out yet? So what if I haven’t looked at the requirements for Parsons and FIDM? I can probably use the same sketches for all three applications. I’m not going to think about that now. Instead, I text Jake about my afternoon accomplishments.

  My phone pings almost immediately with a message back from him: Congrats on starting the maddening process!

  I smile. Jake always gets me. It is a crazy process. I decide to reward my hard work with some uninterrupted magazine reading. This is what fashion should be — fun and stress-free.

  “So we’re all getting a table together for this weekend’s fashion show, right?” Alex asks at lunch the next day. We’re sitting together with Dan, Alex’s boyfriend, plus a couple of her new friends, Jada Williams and Mia Sanchez.

  That morning, I told her about yesterday’s successful college research. Sometimes I just need that extra nudge to get things started. To Alex’s credit, she was all kinds of supportive and didn’t say anything about the fact that I only looked up one college.

  I didn’t say anything about her new style being part of my portfolio yet. I want to surprise her and also not make her feel self-conscious about the clothes she chooses. Today she’s wearing a pair of dark jeans, a lighter chambray shirt, and leopard-print flats. I make a note to sketch it when I get home.

  “Is that this weekend?” I ask. I remember Alex talking about the charity fashion show when I first came back from New York, but truthfully, I’d forgotten all about it.

  Alex nods. “Yeah, it’s going to showcase designs for Winter Formal.”

  Maybe that’s why I put it out of my mind. Formals involve dates. Who knows if I’ll have one? Jake might have finals that week or be busy. Or just not be able to fly here. His dad lives in California, but that doesn’t mean he can fly back from New York whenever he wants. I haven’t mentioned Winter Formal in any of our texts. Probably because I don’t want to hear his answer if it’s no.

  Jada laughs. “It’s probably not much compared to the New York fashion scene. But apparently, it’s a big deal here.�
��

  I cringe. I didn’t mean to make it sound like I’m too good for the stuff here. “I didn’t mean —”

  “Relax,” says Jada with a laugh. “I’m just kidding.”

  “Chloe takes things a little seriously sometimes,” says Alex. “But that’s why I love her.” She gives me a hug. “We balance each other out.”

  That makes me feel better, but not understanding Jada’s sense of humor is just another thing that makes me feel left out. Jada moved here over the summer from Connecticut. She seems really nice, but it was weird coming home and seeing Alex with a new friend I’d never met. She never even mentioned her when I was in New York. It’s hard not to feel a little jealous when they talk about all the fun stuff they did over the summer or laugh at inside jokes I don’t get. I know I’m the one who left for the summer, but sometimes it feels like Alex is the one leaving me behind.

  At least Jada and I have completely different styles. I’d feel even worse if Alex had found a total Chloe replacement, but Jada has her own East Coast thing going on. Her clothes are all pretty preppy, similar to the girl I noticed in the FIT video. Preppy always makes me think serious and buttoned-up, but Jada’s personality is the opposite of her style. She finds humor in just about everything. Today she’s wearing an argyle sweater vest over a short-sleeved blue shirt dress. It screams Ivy League. That’s good since Cornell, Princeton, and Yale are Jada’s top choices. (Believe me, I’ve heard all about it.)

  “A table would be great,” I say. “Any word on the styles they’re showcasing?”

  “Nope,” says Mia. “But I’m hoping for something a little out there and crazy.”

  I’ve hung out with Mia before, but she and Alex became really close over the summer. Mia’s style is more edgy than mine. Today, she’s wearing a V-neck tie-dyed sweater with bell sleeves over a distressed denim skirt. The tips of her dark hair have been dyed pink. I’ve seen them blue and green too.

  Dan takes a bite of his sandwich. “The parents are running the show, so I wouldn’t hold my breath.”