by Zeenat Mahal
“I’m happy you’ve found something that interests you. It makes me happy to see you happy, Zoella,” Fardeen said, smiling.
She walked away with a small formal smile and Fardeen felt his heart dip. Patience, he reminded himself. Give her time. He left for his office thinking that things had to improve from there onwards.
They didn’t.
Later that day Fardeen’s lunch appointment was a drag. As the client droned on and on about his case, his gaze wandered around the packed restaurant and did a double take as he caught sight of a willowy, chicly clad woman, oozing sexy. She seemed to be the heart and soul of a table at the other end of the restaurant. She laughed every few seconds and all the shabby looking men at the table were vying for her attention. She was quite happy to flirt with all of them and share the sunshine she seemed to exude. He hadn’t seen her this animated and happy since the day she’d married him.
He couldn’t concentrate on his meeting after that. His gaze kept going back to Zoella’s table and he felt an unfamiliar chafing like anger or irritation at her behavior. She should be laughing like this with him. But did she? Oh no, that was too much trouble. He had a sudden vision of the cold Zoella that he’d been living with and the contrast was too much to bear.
The rest of the afternoon in his office was a continuation of the same mood and he snapped at every little thing. Was he losing her? First she asked him for a divorce out of the blue, then she went and did something to her hair so that she looked even more beautiful if that was possible, and to top it all, she was out flirting with every Tom, Dick and Harry she could find.
Except him. Anyone but him.
Zoella’s sunshine and laughter didn’t belong to him because she didn’t feel anything for him anymore. He’d killed that love in her that she had offered so sweetly and innocently. But he was going to get it back. How long would she be able to resist him, he thought with a smile, and a modicum of calm returned. When he reached home, Zoella wasn’t there. He waited impatiently. He called. She didn’t bother answering. Finally, she returned with Swaba, holding a medley of bags from various stores.
“Had a good day?” he asked, irritation obvious in his tone.
The laughter died on her lips. His mood snapped. So that was how it was going to be, forever after?
“Maybe you should try and spend some time with your husband for a change?” he growled.
Swaba melted out of the room. Zoella stared back at him with a serene expression, her eyes clear and hard on his. Why couldn’t she smile that way with him? He wasn’t the beast anymore, couldn’t she see that? He wasn’t making things better for his cause he realized, so in a quieter tone that did little to hide his ire, he said, “I saw you at lunch today. Who were all those men?”
“Teachers from school. It was just a school reunion.”
Her voice was still calm and collected. He felt like a fool. He’d never been jealous in his life before. He had seen other people there, but it hadn’t registered.
“Swaba was there too,” she said.
Even more embarrassed now that he hadn’t even noticed his sister, he said, “Nonetheless, men are…”
“Beasts?” she suggested with quiet irony.
“Different. I was going to say different, but thanks, that was insightful.” Then he added, “Men interpret things in ways that women don’t, so just be careful next time that you’re not giving out signals that might be misinterpreted.”
“Oh, I know all about men and their little misinterpretations. You taught me well.”
Every time he got evidence of the hurt he’d caused her, he wanted to take her in his arms and love her. The thought had his blood pumping and he pulled her towards him, whispering her name like an entreaty, “Zoella, please…”
Just then, his mother walked in and he stepped away, embarrassed. He heard Zoella’s amused laughter and throwing her a dirty look, bounded up the steps, away from his mother’s eagle eyes.
“Fardeen,” his mother called but he didn’t stop. “What’s so funny?” Ami asked.
Zoella shook her head and managed to say, “Oh, nothing worth mentioning.”
Fardeen heard her and swore to himself he’d make her eat her words.
SEVENTEEN
Zoella’s confidence increased with every hurdle she crossed at her new job. After her first few screen tests, she was placed as the anchor for a ten-minute clip between the news. It was supposed to focus on anything that was current and hot, from fashion to scandal to anything that was newsworthy. Zoella’s first assignment had her hyperventilating. She had to interview a very hot, very big, cricket star.
She was so nervous, she nearly cried.
“Zee, calm down,” said Professor Ghani. “Make me proud.”
With that, he sent her off with the cameraman, a young man who’d been doing this part-time for two years, apparently. He kept grinning at her, giving her the thumbs-up sign. By the time it was done, Zoella felt like a new woman. Not only had a cricketing legend flirted with her off-camera, and maybe a little on-camera, she had not made any mistakes and it had gone through smoothly.
Professor Ghani said she was a natural at it. She made people want to talk to her, he said because she had such a calming aura. She came home nearly bouncing on her feet with joy. Swaba was ready with popcorn and her whole family was waiting in the lounge with the big projection-screen down and ready. Feeling suddenly unsure again, Zoella gave a nervous little laugh.
“It’s not that big a deal. It’s just a ten-minute thing during the newsbreak. You made popcorn? Crazy.”
“Don’t you dare sell yourself short, Zee. My best friend’s going to be a star.”
“It’s a new channel. Nobody even knows it exists.”
“We’ll see about that, Zee. Come now, grab a chair,” said Salaar.
Sighing, Zoella sat down, grateful that Fardeen wasn’t there. Just as she thought that, he entered the room and raised his eyebrows at the full house.
“What’s this?” he asked.
“Zee’s first appearance on TV,” Salaar replied.
“What?” Fardeen asked in surprise.
“Yeah, Zohra’s making history,” he joked.
Swaba laughed, and Zoella, elbowed him in the ribs.
“I’m already very nervous, you goose.”
“Shhh,” said Ami, “it’s on.”
There she was. Zoella put her hand on her mouth and scrunched up.
“Wow, you look…” Salaar began.
“Shhh,” said Swaba.
Zoella’s voice came across to her in a surreal re-run of the most challenging thing she’d ever done. Well, almost.
“Thank you so much for talking to Mashriq, Shahid.”
“Happy to,” replied the dashing cricketer with a smile.
“You’ve been a superstar for so long, but have you noticed that your status has changed from just being a cricketing superstar to one of our most fearless representatives on the international front?”
Shahid laughed and said with a twinkle in his eyes, “Is that your opinion?” Then he sobered saying, “I have my nation to thank for it. If anyone feels that I’m fearless, I have to say it’s something that I’ve learnt from my nation. We’re a resilient people who fight against odds and still find the strength to go on. I just do what all Pakistanis are doing at one level or another.”
Zoella smiled again as she heard his response. Oh, he was so sweet.
Fardeen watched his wife on-screen smiling like a love-sick puppy at the sports star, and he swung his eyes towards her, sitting on the sofa and wearing the same puppy-like devotion on her face and staring at the TV. Irritated, he said, “Bull! Say that once you win the World Cup for us, you…”
“SHHHH,” everyone yelled.
Fardeen got up, seething. He left the room. What the hell was that? He liked Shahid. He was one of his favorite sportsmen. Yet, all he wanted to do right now was to smash his face with his own effing bat.
Zoella entered their roo
m ten minutes later, still glowing with all the praise and appreciation.
Fardeen snapped, “So this is the new job? This is why you did all this?" He asked gesturing at her hair. “You had a date with a superstar?”
The glow on her face dimmed. Perfect! He took a step forward but stopped at the look on her face. Crap! Her eyes flashed fire, her cheeks glowed again, but it was a different kind of glow.
“Yes, I did. Next week, I have a date with a disabled Paralympic. The week after that with Edhi Sahab. And the week after…”
“Zoella, I…”
Damnation! What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he take her smiling at another man? First that Simon character, who was, Fardeen had to admit without prejudice or bias, the ugliest man he’d ever seen. As for Shahid, he was a married man and she was a married woman for God’s sake.
Why was he even thinking like this? So what if she laughed and smiled at other men? He had to stop behaving like a jealous Romeo every ten seconds. It was not a good feeling. Unfortunately, he didn’t seem to have any control over it. Why couldn’t she smile like that with him?
She turned around and tried going back the way she had come. He grabbed her arm to stop her.
“Don’t,” she warned.
“Zoella, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Don’t you get tired of saying that? Why don’t you say what you mean then?”
Fardeen stared back stumped. Was this the time to tell her then? Admit to his jealousy and love?
“Fardeen, just let go.”
She sounded bored. Distant. As if she had no expectations from him. He had to have her in his arms. He felt so desolate. He pulled her to him and gave her a disturbingly long, searing kiss. She wasn’t going anywhere. Just the thought of losing her made him ache.
He pulled away and said gruffly, “I shouldn’t have…”
She shrugged and said, “Forget it. I already have.”
Thinking he could cheerfully murder her, he let go of her. She was getting really good at gutting him. That he was willing to live with, but no way was she going to get a divorce.
He said in a reasonable tone, “Zoella, we decided that we were going to work at our marriage, and…”
“Remember our little bargain? You weren’t supposed to get physical. Now you have to…”
“When the hell did we get physical?” he asked stunned. He’d forgotten all about that agreement. She wasn’t going to take that too seriously was she?
“You just kissed me?” she mocked.
Damned if he was going down on a technicality. Raising an eyebrow, he said, “Are you serious? A kiss doesn’t count. That’s not getting physical.”
“Ah! What a load of…” Exasperated she looked at him and then said shortly, “It is in my book.”
Feeling surer of his ground, he said drily, “Well, then get a newer edition. I think yours is outdated. And if you’ve forgotten what being physical means I could remind you. No trouble at all.”
Zoella tried not to give in to the urge to smile.
Seeing her wrestling with her smile, he continued with his banter, surer of himself now, feeling lighter than he had in months.
“A kiss is just an introduction frankly. It’s more like hello. It’s the kind of thing one should do every hour or so. Nothing to get so finicky about.”
“Fine!” she said and stomped off, still trying not to laugh, which of course made him ridiculously happy.
Deep down, she didn’t want a divorce. She didn’t.
EIGHTEEN
Zoella had an interview lined up with a big-shot lawyer. She and her new friend Iqbal, the cameraman, drove to the lawyer’s offices. They waited outside his chambers. It was a very posh office, all burgundy leather and wood. Very classic. She was looking at everything admiringly, when the door opened and Fardeen walked out. He didn’t see her at first, since he was talking to his companion, “…so we’ll have it wrapped in no time. Trust me.”
Then he turned and saw her. His face broke into a smile. “Hi. What a pleasant surprise. Come on in.”
“Er…I’m here to interview Mr. Feroze? This is supposed to be his office. He’s representing a woman, who was almost burnt alive by her in-laws. It’s a very high profile case these days. We had an appointment.”
Zoella suddenly quieted. It was all going very wrong in her head. She turned towards the cameraman, “Iqbal, you said it was Feroze Khan, right? Mr. Ghani made the appointment, with him, right?”
Fardeen laughed.
“What are you laughing at?” Zoella was almost in tears at the misunderstanding. She couldn’t possibly be here to interview him?
“Nothing, just that in school a lot of teachers called me Feroze for some reason. I wonder why?”
“You’re not Feroze.”
“So glad you agree,” he said smiling, obviously enjoying himself.
Zoella stewed. She should’ve known. It was a burn victim’s case, he’d been doing pro bono cases since his accident and it was Feroze…
“It’s because of Fardeen Khan. Feroze Khan is his father,” Zoella said, conjecturing out loud.
“And who might these people be?” Fardeen asked gamely.
Giving him a look that told him he was deemed a Martian thanks to his ignorance, she said, “They’re actors. Bollywood royalty.”
“Huh?” he said, inclining his head adding, “You do have a thing for linking me with royalty, don’t you?”
“Fardeen,” she warned.
Blasting her with his devastating smile, his eyes dancing wickedly, he asked, “So, are we having that interview or not?”
“You knew, didn’t you?”
“Of course not. I’m not such a big Bollywood fan.”
His eyes caressing her, he gave her a slow meaningful smile. He was making it so hard to be sensible. He was dazzling her with his charm and his undivided attention. Her resistance was wearing thin and he so knew it.
“That’s not what I meant,” her voice was a bit husky. She cleared her throat.
“No? Ah well, time’s a wasting.” Turning to his peon, he said, “Dilawer, tea, biscuits, sandwiches, whatever you can get easily, without breaking anything that’s rattling around in your skin.”
The bag of bones that got up with alacrity at the command cackled and giving Fardeen a challenging look replied, “I’m ninety, bacha. We’ll see what you look like at ninety, you softie.”
Fardeen laughed and said, “You won’t be around I hope, Dilawer. That’s too much work for me at ninety.”
The scarecrow called Dilawer laughed again and went off swaying on his rickety legs. Zoella turned towards Fardeen, eyes full of disdain.
“Wow.”
“What?”
“He’s ninety.”
Looking amused, Fardeen shook his head saying, “Yeah, I know. Doesn’t look a day older than seventy.”
Seeing that he’d missed the point completely, she repeated, “He’s ninety, and you’re making him work?”
Fardeen paused, his eyes flickering. “So ready to believe the worst of me aren’t you?” Turning he called over his shoulder, “Come on in.”
They entered his office, and the delicious smell of wood, leather and books welcomed them.
“Dilawer doesn’t want to retire. He’s got twelve daughters. Ten are married. Two, are still in school. No one else will have him. He needs the wages, and his pride.”
He shrugged.
Feeling her heart melting, Zoella deliberately taunted, “Aw, what a prince charming you are, Fardeen. I wonder why I never saw it before.”
“And here I thought you saw nothing else,” he said smiling.
Another man entered. He was younger but obviously a lawyer, wearing the usual black attire.
All business, Fardeen said, “Zoella, this is Feroze, my associate. He knows all about the case and he’s the one you’ll be interviewing. Feroze, meet my wife.”
They exchanged hellos and salaams.
“You actually hired a man called Feroze while you’re…that’s just…it’s ridiculous,” she whispered.
“I told you, I didn’t know. Any way what does it matter?”
“It’s…it’s just ridiculously funny.”
He laughed, and said, “Then join me, won’t you?”
She gave him a reluctant smile that managed to reach her eyes.
He said softly, “How I’ve missed that smile.”
She looked away.
“Hey, did you feel that?” he asked almost shocked.
“What?” Zoella whipped her head around, perturbed.
“Don’t tell me, you didn’t feel that?” Fardeen asked.
“Feel what?”
In a theatrical whisper, he said, “None of God’s little creatures fell dead because you shared a smile with me. The sun didn’t vanish. The earth didn’t implode. The curse must be broken.”
Zoella gave him a hard stare.
Still smiling at her with a mischievous glint, he said, getting up, “I’ll see you later.”
Fardeen walked out with a small smile still lingering on his lips. Feroze had told him about the request that had come for the interview. Usually they didn’t do that sort of thing. But when he heard that it was Zoella, he’d decided to go against his usual stance. He was going to do everything he could to soften her towards him. Surely, a slight boost to her career by his efforts, would do that? As he walked out of his office, leaving her with his assistant, he couldn’t help laughing as he recalled her explanations for the misunderstanding in names. God, she was funny!
***
As Zoella interviewed Feroze and he informed her of how many women her husband had helped in the past two years, her heart was melting like chocolate in summer. Even when he hadn’t been here, he’d left instructions and a generous fund to continue the work he’d started.
On her way out after, she saw Fardeen chatting away with other lawyers. He smiled when he saw her and excusing himself, came over to her.