Secret

by Kindle Alexander

  “You don’t have to hide around me. I’m not going to judge you,” Tristan added, clearly trying to keep Dylan talking in order to fill in the holes to this crazy story.

  “How did you know about me?”

  “I wasn’t a hundred percent sure until right now. But the way you avoided my eyes at the strip club when I told you I was gay made me guess,” Tristan answered. “I can’t promise you enough that your secret’s safe with me. Based on what you’re saying though, I’m surely not the only one who knows.”

  “No. My wife knows.” Dylan ran his finger down the side of his glass, leaving a trail through the condensation gathered there.

  Tristan’s head tilted and his eyes narrowed as if he were trying to absorb that little bit of knowledge before he finally spoke. “This gets weirder and weirder.”

  “Not so much. At least I don’t think so. I woke up one day and I had three kids and a wife. Both of us were still in college and I was working my ass off trying to do what I thought I needed to do. We were broke as hell, but making it work. I just couldn’t lie to her any longer so we had a heart-to-heart. I told her I was gay. She eventually took it all in stride. She’s an amazing woman. We decided to raise the kids together, get our education, and when they grew up, we’d still be young and could go our separate ways, get on with our lives.”

  “How’s that working?” Tristan asked.

  “My youngest graduates in nine months. They’re all going away to school. Teri’s already spreading her wings. She’s on a cruise right now with a man she’s been serious with for a few years now. I’m just stalling, I guess.” Dylan picked up his 7 and 7 and took a long drink. Cate’s news that she’d be leaving almost a year earlier than planned and Teri getting serious with Mark made things a little more real for Dylan.

  “So you gave up your youth for your kids?” Tristan sounded incredulous.

  “It’s not like that. They’re good kids. I’m lucky to have them. I wouldn’t change that part of my life for anything,” Dylan reassured him. “Besides, they didn’t ask to be born. It wasn’t their fault I didn’t have the balls to be me. Teri’s a good woman; I live with my best friend.”

  “Okay, I understand that and really have no experience to speak from. Here’s another question. You’re uncomfortable here, I can tell. You don’t want anyone to know…” Tristan’s brows lifted and he leaned across the table. “If you haven’t told anyone else, who do you fuck?”

  Dylan remained silent. What could he say?

  “Oh man, no way.” Tristan shook his head. He didn’t laugh but Dylan could see him hiding the chuckle behind his glass as he drained it quickly. He lifted a hand to get Leo’s attention. “Drink up! You deserve to have a good time tonight. It’s part of our goal in bringing you guys here from Texas. And we’re dancing at least once before we leave.”

  “No, I can’t…”

  “The fuck you can’t. Leo’s right, I’ll make sure you get to your room safe. Drink up, have a good time. Besides, I owe this to you. It does my heart good to know you’re gay and you trust me enough to tell me. And so you know, every guy in this room wants to know who you are. They’re still staring. As for me? Straight guys and deeply closeted guys aren’t normally my thing, but you… Yeah, you’re sexy as hell. And now I’m glad I pushed, because I get to be here tonight with the hottest man in the room.” Tristan flashed that killer smile at him.

  Dylan remained quiet. Actually his brain was on overload and just downright fuzzy. Had he heard those words right? Was Tristan flirting with him? Tristan watched him and laughed straight out loud. “I’ll remember this quiet thing you do. It makes you mysterious and that’s hot as hell, too.”

  Leo came to the table with two drinks even though Dylan hadn’t finished his first one.

  “I’m fine,” Dylan said, rejecting the second drink.

  “Yes, you are, indeed.” Tristan winked, keeping his eyes trained on Dylan. He could feel the heat creeping up his cheeks at the compliment. God, he was such a dork. Guys like Tristan Wilder didn’t pursue guys like him. He was only being nice, probably because he had come off so fucking pathetic. He should have lied about the sex thing. “Leave the drink, Leo, and keep ‘em coming. We’re celebrating tonight!”

  The dance hadn’t been terrible, Tristan thought as he stepped away from the man who was bowed up so tight he could barely execute a proper sway. Last call had come and gone, almost everyone had paired up and left for the night and the few stragglers remaining in the club were well past drunk. It had been the only way he could get Dylan up and onto the dance floor.

  “Are you ready to go?” Tristan asked, beginning to regret his decision to bring Dylan here. Who was he to push his lifestyle on anyone, especially someone buried so deeply in the closet? Tristan didn’t wait for an answer. Instead, he left the dance floor, walking back to the table as the lights blinked on in the club.

  “Closing time,” someone called out from behind the bar.

  Tristan grabbed his tie, tossing the silk strip carelessly over his shoulder, and scribbled his name on the tab. He did some quick math for a tip, added more than what he should, and looked up. Dylan was a few feet away from him, standing alone in the foyer. The stark white light of the club hid nothing, and he was struck again at what a good-looking man Dylan Reeves truly was. Right now, Dylan had his head bowed, his hands slid deep inside his pockets, and he kicked at something with his foot. The line of that hard tight body was more pronounced, and Tristan wondered how he had missed that before. When they danced, that was when he’d noticed the deep ridges and valleys of his muscular torso and arms. He’d also felt the size of what Dylan had going on in those slacks. It was really the only physical proof he’d gotten all night long that Dylan was into him.

  “He’s a keeper, man,” Leo said from behind Tristan.

  “Mmm, I do agree. For someone else though, not me. It’s business.” Tristan picked up the payment book and handed it to Leo.

  “Nah, you need to hear me, dude. He only had eyes for you tonight. Everybody tried to get his attention. He’s about you,” the waiter replied. Tristan looked back at Dylan who was still kicking at something in the carpet.

  “He’s got a wife and kids,” Tristan found himself saying.

  “Yeah and so do half the guys in this place,” Leo replied. Tristan looked the waiter in the eyes for several long moments, contemplating what he just heard. Did he miss those signals? Unable to find an answer quickly, he patted the guy on the shoulder and turned to walk toward Dylan.

  “You ready?” Tristan asked, stopping in front of Dylan. He placed his hand on Dylan’s forearm to test the waters. Dylan moved immediately out from under the touch like he’d done over and over throughout the entire night. Yeah, Leo read him completely wrong.

  “It’s late. It’s been a while since I’ve been out like this in a bar,” Dylan admitted as he walked out the front door.

  “Me, too. The hotel’s a block or two from here,” Tristan added. Dylan stopped and looked down the street, his eyes moving up, looking at something in the distance. Tristan followed his gaze to the tallest high-rise downtown. The building with the bright red H encased in a circle, shooting up from the street and towering in the night sky. He had to admit, from here, the view was quite magnificent.

  “Is that where we’re staying?” Dylan asked.

  “The Hilton, yes,” Tristan confirmed.

  “I can walk. It’ll do me good to clear my head,” Dylan said. He wasn’t asking, more telling Tristan that he planned to walk the distance. Dylan went to the car, grabbed his suit jacket out of the backseat, and slid it on to his shoulders. “Thank you for tonight.”

  Tristan got the impression that the response had more to do with those Southern manners he’d heard so much about than truth. Dylan turned away and started walking toward the hotel. “Wait, I’ll walk with you. It’s not the best part of town.”

  “I got it. I’ll be fine,” Dylan called back, now several feet from him. “Goodnight.
”

  “Follow us,” Tristan told the driver as he tossed his jacket into the backseat. He had to jog a few steps to catch up. That seemed to surprise the man.

  “I’m fine. Really. Get in your car and go,” Dylan demanded, his steps faltering.

  “I’m not letting you walk alone out here. A walk will be good for me.” Tristan dropped his hands in his slacks and walked beside Dylan, matching his stride. “Did you have a good time tonight or did I overstep?” Tristan asked, changing the subject when it looked like Dylan was still going to argue this out. It took the length of an entire block for Dylan to finally answer.

  “It scares me a little.” Surprised at Dylan’s honesty, Tristan gave him a sideways glance.

  “How?” he asked. He needed to know exactly where that came from so he could conquer and ease that thought.

  “I’ve kept this secret for so long it’s hard to let anyone know,” Dylan explained, his eyes on the concrete in front of him with each step he took.

  “But you would soon enough. Your kids are growing up. It’s time for you to move on,” Tristan repeated Dylan’s words back to him. Dylan didn’t respond to that. “This quiet thing you do’s hard to gauge.”

  “I’ve always had to keep quiet,” Dylan answered, avoiding his eyes.

  “You’re a good-looking guy. You’ll find someone in no time when you finally come out.” Tristan bumped Dylan’s shoulder.

  “It’s not about that,” Dylan sighed.

  “It should be. You’ve lived your whole life alone—” Tristan started.

  “I’m not alone,” Dylan cut in.

  “Let me finish, you’ve spent your whole life alone, hiding a main part of who you are. It must be daunting to consider finally revealing yourself. You don’t seem like the player type. Once you’re out, someone’s gonna snatch you up.”

  Dylan laughed a little as they turned a corner to the hotel walkway. “I’m just an average guy. If I looked like you, I’d totally be a player.” Those unguarded words sent panic to Dylan’s eyes, and his gaze darted up, colliding with Tristan’s. He gave a genuine smile. He’d been told over and over that he was nice on the eyes. He didn’t really have a problem getting guys, but something about this man thinking he was handsome made him feel good.

  “Thank you for that,” Tristan said honestly, his smile still in place. Dylan remained quiet as they walked up the steps to the hotel. A bellboy opened the main doors.

  “Where’s the reservation desk?” Tristan asked.

  “Right over there, sir,” the bellhop pointed to an area in front of them. Tristan didn’t say anything more as he went to the desk and got Dylan’s room key.

  “Here you go. Thank you for going with me tonight. I hope I didn’t freak you out too much,” Tristan apologized as they walked toward the elevators.

  “You did, a little. But it’s okay. I can get to the room from here. You don’t have to walk me up,” Dylan said as Tristan punched the call button. An elevator opened, but neither man stepped away. For the second time tonight, they were standing almost chest to chest, staring at each other. Tristan realized then that he hadn’t made a mistake by taking Dylan to the club and perhaps the visit fueled the small amount of interest showing in Dylan’s eyes.

  “I know you can. I’m just finding I like to do these things for you,” Tristan answered in all honesty. That drew a hint of color to Dylan’s cheeks, but he didn’t look away.

  “I’m going up now.” Dylan hooked a thumb toward the elevator doors that were closing and Tristan reached out to press the up button again. The doors slid immediately open, but neither took their eyes off the other.

  “Since we won’t speak of this again this weekend, when you do decide to come out, I want to be first on your list of people you visit. Hell, I’ll even come to you. I bet you’re spectacular in bed.” Tristan grinned. He meant those words. But his confession drew nothing but silence from Dylan.

  “I’m going,” Dylan repeated, and this time, he took a couple of steps backward, throwing out an arm to keep the elevator doors from closing again.

  “Goodnight, Dylan,” Tristan replied, forcing himself to remain in place. No matter what he thought, Dylan’s hesitation wasn’t an invitation. He was curious and perhaps relieved that finally someone else knew.

  Dylan lifted a hand and stepped inside as the alarm sounded. Tristan was forced to watch as the doors closed, severing that momentary bond he thought he felt. He was proud of himself for not following. His body on the other hand vehemently disagreed. He forced himself to turn around and leave. Those few minutes by the elevator had been intense. He hadn’t realized that while he was under Dylan’s spell. He slowly made his way across the hotel lobby, thinking about that departing look in Dylan’s eyes. It hadn’t been an invitation. Right?

  That notion had Tristan faltering at the front door. Had he let Dylan slip through his fingers? No. Right? Not knowing what else to do, he walked out the revolving door and down the front steps to his waiting car. He pivoted on his feet, looking up at the high-rise. He wouldn’t know if he didn’t ask. He went back up the steps and through the turning door, palming his phone to dial Dylan’s cell.

  “Hello?” there was a question in that sexy voice.

  “Let me come up,” Tristan blurted suddenly into the phone.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Dylan replied. It wasn’t a no, just not a good idea. Okaay.

  “Then come home with me. I’ll get you back to your room in time to change before our meeting tomorrow,” Tristan pleaded, and he was met with silence. That had him smiling.

  “I won’t push you into anything you don’t want to do. I just want to spend time with you,” Tristan continued.

  “Do you have condoms?”

  Tristan’s head popped up at that question. Score! And then his smile faded. “Wait, do you?” If Dylan brought condoms, he wasn’t the virgin he claimed to be.

  “No, but we can stop. I wanna use them,” Dylan replied. Tristan heard the hotel door shut with a loud thump and started toward the bank of elevators.

  “I always do. No problem there,” he assured Dylan.

  “I’m on my way down.”

  “I’ll be waiting at the elevators.” Hell yeah, he was having hot Dylan Reeves sex tonight. Damn, that man was sexy. He was amazed at how quickly things were going from good to amazing. Who would have known?

  The pounding of his heart overrode the crazy panicked thoughts racing through his head. He pressed the down button on the elevator, and he honestly believed he’d have a heart attack right there waiting for the doors to open. The longer the elevator took, the more he started to panic. This night wasn’t in his life plan.

  But who would ever know? Thoughts of his very brief make-out session with his college roommate’s brother surfaced—he’d never told a soul about that experience. A stolen moment that never really amounted to much, yet taught him without question that he was absolutely a gay man. If he never said a word and was incredibly careful, no one would know about this either.

  Dylan groaned and shook his arms to dispel some of the nervous energy coursing through him. He’d promised himself long ago he’d wait until the children were grown to explore what he felt so deeply in his heart. If he went through with this, was he breaking his vow? He was a man who lived by honor. Rigid to a fault in his convictions… Those were Teri’s words not his. Teri had continually encouraged him to find someone to be with, but he’d always been apprehensive. Yet in just a matter of a few hours, Tristan had him rethinking everything.

  The elevator doors opened, and Dylan stood there, frozen in the deserted hallway, not budging until they closed again. His eyes shut and regret filled his heart when he couldn’t step on. He’d had fun tonight. He wouldn’t admit that before now, but he’d had fun. He’d enjoyed the evening so much he hadn’t wanted tonight to end. The single dance they shared had been awkward at first, mainly due to him being so uptight, but he’d tried to relax. Toward the end of the dance,
he’d managed to loosen up a little. Not completely, but his anxiety had diminished and he’d been pretty proud of that.

  Dylan’s hard cock pressed against Tristan while they swayed together on the dance floor. He had no doubt Tristan felt his arousal. And Tristan hadn’t been unaffected; he could tell that too with each brush of their hips. But that didn’t necessarily mean he was the reason for Tristan’s response. There were lots of men there watching the guy closely, but he liked those few grinds he got when they danced.

  His phone beeped. “Did you change your mind?” Tristan’s words appeared on his screen.

  Had he changed his mind? He forced himself to push the elevator call button again. Going with Tristan tonight did not mean he had to fuck him. He could put that limit on them when he got downstairs. He had enjoyed Tristan’s company, and with all the melancholy he’d been experiencing over the last week, he needed a friend. It was way past time to have companions for himself, just like Teri had suggested.

  Decision firmly made, he looked up when the elevator dinged its arrival. Distracted, he took a step forward, unprepared to see Tristan stepping out.

  “What do you want, Dylan? What do you feel?” Tristan asked quietly, keeping about a foot of distance between them.

  “I’m not sure. What if I’m not ready to take this next step?” Dylan whispered, searching Tristan’s face as the elevator doors closed behind him.

  “Then we won’t. It’s as simple as that. You call the shots, but I’d really like to kiss you.” Tristan’s voice lowered and his gaze dropped to Dylan’s lips. “I’ve wanted to taste your lips all night.” Tristan took a single step forward but didn’t touch him. That one simple act endeared the man to Dylan. Tristan had kept his word, letting him make the first move. Something occurred to him in that moment; since WilderNation made the reservations, he had to assume he’d been placed on the same floor with Rob and David. He needed to get out of this hallway before one of them caught him.