Diary of a Vampeen: Vamp Yourself for War

by Unknown

  I knew they wouldn’t let me go alone so I looked over at Kellan for approval. I have no parents but I do have a lot of over protective friends.

  “She wants to go home,” Kellan relayed to everyone. They all passed looks amongst themselves having silent conversations. Gabi shrugged her shoulders and Kai seemed angry over the idea.

  “Only if you take Ramon, Ramos and Kellan,” Kalel stipulated. I agreed with a swift nod. “Good. Drink and we’ll gather your thinks and redirect everyone.” He gave a reassuring smile and left the room. I heard him shuffling about upstairs but ignored it. I drank several bottles of blood in complete quiet. Everyone around me was still but the atmosphere was tense. Kalel returned with two bags and a file of papers.

  “I’ll take those,” Kellan offered extending his hands towards the items in Kalel’s arms.

  “Sure.” He passed it all to him. Kellan came over to me, kissed my forehead and announced via thought that he’d be right back.

  “Are you going to be ok? I feel like I should be doing more for you,” Gabi flung into a verbal ramble of questions and statements like this back to back not giving me time to answer if I wanted to. I went to her and wrapped my arms around her. She hugged me tight finally getting the hint to shut up.

  I didn’t speak a word but went around to each of them with a hug; Kai and Kalel I added a kiss on the cheek to.

  “Keep your necklace on and call us if you need anything,” Kalel said patting my back. I again nodded and offered him a reassuring smile. I needed to do this.

  Kellan took my hand, waved bye to everyone and led me to the underground garage. He didn’t rush me. We walked as humans, slow and steady. He watched me cautiously the entire way. From time to time our eyes connected prompting a small grin from me. He’d done so much for me, sacrificed so much for me despite how awful I continued to be. His eyes narrowed harshly.

  “Sorry. I forgot,” I thought, not ready to talk yet.

  “Love isn’t based on merit babe. I’ll be here for you, always loving you even if you tried to burn me at the stake.”

  “That’s a bit harsh, but point made.” He snickered victoriously. I let it slide too tuckered to be a hard head.

  He walked right up to my repaired and barely recognizable car. I’d been chauffeured between houses and school the last few weeks usually by Kellan or Craig so seeing my transformed car was shocking. I only knew it was mine because of the license plate, but my coupe had been altered to the extreme. Seeing my eyes pop at my Mercedes, Kellan quickly explained.

  “We all agreed you needed better protection to prevent a repeat attack. Your doors only open with your hand, mine, Kai or Kalel’s; it’s been programmed. You have bullet and bomb proof windows. The aftermarket body kit has built in rockets if you need to get away quicker and launch darts to deflate the tires of anyone chasing you. Your side mirrors have tiny pellets that will shoot out at the push of a button on your steering wheel. There’s a satellite tracker so we can find you if you’re being chased and they added a second fuel tank so you won’t run out of gas if you are too.”

  Inside he showed me all the coordinating buttons and shield launches. They even installed an ultra-expensive mirror deflector that basically allows me to drive invisible to others. Vamps will see the wind whipping by and know but it would be difficult to keep up with me. They added a raised “exhaust” notch on the trunk and hood that fires laser flashes, which is what he called them. They were laser bullets though.

  It was all so over the top. I was appreciative but truthfully didn’t like it. It reminded me of how much my life had changed. My car now reflected that distinct difference. It went from speed racer fun and fancy free to white batmobile, stylish but dangerous.

  Kellan of course heard my thoughts on it and stopped showing it off immediately. He heard all of mine now, but his were only what he projected; unfair but I couldn’t change it.

  “I’m not sorry. I need you alive. And I’ll work on projecting all my thoughts,” he sulked. He started the car and pulled out. I saw the Hummer quickly follow. I assumed Ramos and Ramon were in it.

  “Kellan lightly squeezed my thigh before finding my hand. He kissed the back of it sending a chill through me. Despite everything I couldn’t help but smile. I’d lost a lot but at least I didn’t lose him.

  The emotional weight of returning home hit me when we pulled into the garage. Al’s car was in the driveway but it was my parent’s vehicles in the garage that triggered me.

  I ran my hand along the hoods on my way to the door. I stopped short to collect myself… Maybe I wasn’t as ready as I thought.

  Luckily I caught the lingering scent of bleach, Lysol and soft scrub throughout. I noticed everything had been scrubbed top to bottom. They knew my nose never caught their scent, but perhaps it wasn’t for my benefit.

  “Your aunt couldn’t take their scent. She cleaned it away.” I shook my head as I stepped across the threshold.

  Al was standing behind the island but he didn’t say anything. It was a good thing since I was overwhelmed by the space. I tried to keep the memories and emotions at bay. I preferred to be numb as I walked the familiar halls.

  I slowly observed every detail of my home the way I never had before. I saw the knick on the floor board I hadn’t noticed prior. I studied the intricate pattern of the imported sofa in the formal living room. I eyed the reflective coating on my mother’s prized china displayed in the cabinet in the dining room. I even entered the never touched guest rooms upstairs. I wandered my house, peered in every room and picked through every inch except my parent’s room. I froze in front of their closed door, my palm absently placed on the wooden panels. I lingered searching, trying to feel for an energy in their room. I found myself wishing it all to have been a dream; I envisioned my mother opening the door at any minute… but she didn’t.

  Exhaustion caught up with me. My emotions and memories caught up with me. I pulled myself away with a sigh, a sigh that cracked my barely beating heart, and retreated to my room. It too was pristine. Everything was spotless. It felt like they had been erased from every square inch. Erased from existence.

  I stood under the shower head detached from reality, staring into space, forcing myself to feel nothing. I went through the motions of washing my hair and body, shaving and rinsing. I dressed in my favorite Capri sweats and a tank. I didn’t even bother brushing my dripping hair.

  I opened the door and walked straight into Kellan. He appeared torn between jumping me and pacifying me. I knew him well enough to know he missed our physical connection. He’d been so patient with me never pushing for more in my weak state. He didn’t even kiss my lips once.

  “I wanted to so bad. I talked myself into believing it might shake you up,” he admitted. “The hardest thing I’ve ever done is watch you suffer knowing I couldn’t do any more,” he choked the words. My heart clenched. I looked into his emerald eyes and saw them glistening before it happened. I witnessed Kellan cry. He tried to hold it in, look away and be discreet, but I didn’t let him. I held his cheeks to the palms of my hands and diligently wiped each drop away. After a few minutes he collected himself and smiled softly revealing his adorable dimple. I traced the indention it created with my fingers. He grabbed my explorative hand and kissed my palm.

  “May I?” he asked properly running his pointer finger along my lips.

  “Yes,” I managed a small whisper. My voice sounded slightly hoarse after barely speaking the last few weeks.

  He didn’t hesitate. I barely had time to process his question before his lips were on mine. He was eager and aggressive in his touch yet sensual and patient. His hands went everywhere excited by the sheer ability to caress me again. We instantly connected.

  “You don’t know how much I missed this,” he thought as he moved us onto my bed. I didn’t reply. I let it hang; I let myself absorb the full meaning of his words with his touch.

  I awoke hours later to night. I heard conversation downstairs. I separated the voic
es to Aunt Claire, Mel, and Al. Second later Craig’s distinct accent filled the air. I looked around my dark room searching for him; it’s not like Kellan to leave me. But alas, he did.

  I sighed. I hopped up and sprung downstairs. Without Kellan, I’d have to talk. I scurried past the stunned group, opened the fridge and yanked out a water bottle. I turned around twisting off the cap as Mel apprehensively approached.

  “How are you Lex?” Her voice was barely above a whisper. I gave her a thumbs up, but she didn’t buy it.

  “Lex, you literally died for three weeks. You were dead to the world. You don’t just suddenly snap out of it perfectly fine and happy. I’m your best friend. Let me be that role. Let me help you.” She was between scolding and pleading as she spoke. I sighed, quickly moved past her to the sectional. She didn’t take it. She stormed over, officially on the angry, scolding end of the spectrum.

  “Do you want to talk?” she huffed. I shook my head no, but looked down at the bottle in my hands as I did so. Maybe it was cowardly but I knew she would give me hell for my actions. Though fully deserved, I wasn’t ready to hear it.

  There was silence for a moment before I heard the sniff. I looked up to see tears streaming down my friend’s cheeks. I dropped my bottle and squeezed her into a bear tight hug.

  “I’m sorry for snapping at you. I’ve just been so worried about you. You were the same after your gran died so it was expected but I still didn’t expect it,” she sniffled. I stayed quietly embracing her. “God Lex, I … I…,” she tried to pull herself together. She took a deep breath as I released her. I wiped away a few strays. It seemed now that I was on the road to recovery everyone around me was on a downward spiral.

  “I’m not mad at you. I don’t think a few weeks would be enough for me. I would be balling my eyes out in a corner somewhere still. You’re strong Lex. You just scare me. I was scared for you…” she stuttered through her ramble. I frowned. Should I still be mourning them? I was trying my best to move on. I didn’t want to talk because I wanted what happened to stay in the past. I couldn’t carry their deaths into my present. The best way to cope is not to think about it… for me anyways.

  Mel was finally able to control her tears a few minutes later. I glanced at the kitchen clock, 12:42AM; late for a human who needs sleep.

  “You need sleep. Girls day Saturday?” She nodded enthusiastically.

  “Alright then love. I’m off to take my main love home. A chip, chip, chiparoo to you for being up and at em’!” he smiled. He kissed my cheek and protectively led Mel to the door. Seeing the two of them, hand in hand, so happy had me beaming.

  “Sientate aqui mi amor,” Aunt Claire said patting the cushion beside where she now sat. I obliged. “Let’s find a good movie.” We caught the last part of the classic funny movie ‘The Long, Long Trailer.’ Even Al enjoyed it.

  “I don’t know anyone who doesn’t love Lucille Ball,” he chuckled.

  When 1:30 rolled around and Kellan still wasn’t back, I began to worry. A lump of fret built in my throat.

  “Where’d Kellan go?” I croaked, the fear nearly surfacing by this point.

  “I can’t tell. I’m under strict orders not to. He said he’d be back by two. So don’t worry yourself til 2:01AM,” she instructed.

  “I need some air.” I got up and headed towards the door.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she objected rushing to the door.

  “I’ll take the twins.” I knew that was my only shot at freedom. I needed it though. I needed space. I needed to feel the cold December air whipping through bare branches around me.

  She contemplated for a minute.

  “Where’s your cell?”

  “I don’t know…” I hadn’t thought about it. At least there’s one positive to blocking out the world for weeks: you’ll break all your technology addictions.

  “Take the twins,” she finally conceded.

  “Thanks.” I hugged her quickly. I threw on my tennies by the door and headed out.

  “Ramos, Ramon,” I called.

  “Yes Miss Jackson?” They appeared out of nowhere.

  “I want to walk. I have to take you with me,” I sulked, my lips a solid line of frustration. I hated that everyone doted on me. For once, I’d like to protect someone else.

  I found myself walking slow. I wanted to savor my time. And I have to give them props; it was like Ramos and Ramon weren’t even there. The good and bad was it gave me time to think about everything. Everything I wanted and didn’t want to think of was included. Unfortunately filtering doesn’t happen easily. It’s a strain to avoid a subject or memory. Like a restrictive diet, it’s hard to resist the untouchable yet easy to become obsessive over it.

  I turned back around backtracking a few miles from home. I had just come around the bend when I saw him, the one I’d been trying to avoid for so long: Mike.

  He was restrained and being held off the ground before I could blink. He didn’t struggle or fight, which meant he was either setting me up or he wanted something.

  “What do you want Mike?” I was hesitant to move closer but cautious that my back wasn’t covered.

  “I know who’s after you.” He was monotone, non-chalant yet cocky, very cocky. He had what I wanted and needed; he knew it.

  “Put him down,” I sighed. They dropped him. Had he been human he never would have caught himself.

  “Now again, what do you want?” He looked directly at me.

  “What have I always wanted?” His voice filled with desire, his body tightened. I swallowed hard, my face froze in a glare of denial. Me. He wanted me. I knew it, but didn’t want to say it.

  “I don’t know Mike. Just get to your point,” I huffed. Despite the temptation to kill him and rid my life of him once and for all, I held back. He knew what I needed to know at that point so he suddenly became valuable to me.

  “You Lex. You. I’ve always wanted you.” He spit the words in my direction angry to have to spell it out I guessed.

  “I’m with Kellan.” I was cold. I would never be with Mike. He had vengeful intentions. He would have successfully banged me up physically had I been human when he tried. I will never forget that. You don’t abuse the ones you care about. You protect them as Kellan has me. You fight against those who attack your loved ones, not harm them yourself.

  “I have everything he has now,” he smirked.

  “So.”

  “So if I killed him, would you consider my offer?” Arrogant bastard.

  I felt the serum surge into my mouth. I tasted the anger boiling from his words on my tongue. His words were what I’d needed though. How dare he threaten my little remaining family! How dare he prance around as if he has some hold over me! That’s when it clicked. That’s exactly what the assassins were doing. They roamed around nonchalantly while their actions, past and potential, weighed me down. They were controlling me and my life through this emotional reaction they sparked in me. No more. I couldn’t allow others to have such a strong influence in my life. I couldn’t allow them to impact every decision I made. I couldn’t walk around on eggshells forever, nor could I stand by silently waiting anymore. This was it. I had to take back control of my life. I had to run them all out of it.

  My hands bound into tight fists of fury as I glanced at Mike in all his pitifulness. He took notice.

  “Lighten up. I haven’t done it yet. Just weighing my options,” he winked. He had the audacity to wink!

  Like the rage that consumed me with Keira, it controlled me in this moment. I lunged, full force lunged at him. My spring was that of a mountain lion having observed his prey for hours, very calculated.

  We rolled on the ground, a fight of equal strength. Before he or I could do any damage, he was yanked off of me. Ramon and Ramos cuffed his arms. I hopped up in one quick graceful move. I removed my necklace and went straight up to my victim. That’s right, he was the victim now, not me.

  “Start talking,” I ordered.

  “N
ever. You’ve pissed me off!” he replied through gritted teeth.

  “Try again!”

  “Fuck you!”

  “Wrong choice!” I stabbed him with my necklace. The twins jumped back as Mike fell to the ground writhing in pain.

  “What the hell?!” he screamed when he was back on his feet.

  “You ready to talk?”

  “Sure,” he snickered. “Did you know the sky is blue, the grass is green and the sun yellow?”

  “I’m trying to be nice but you’re just pissing me off!” I yelled as my breathing escalated.

  “Welcome to the club,” he grinned.

  “Grab him!” I demanded. They quickly responded.

  “Whatcha gonna do? Taze me again?” He laughed a full, heartily mocking laugh.

  “Say goodbye Mike,” I warned.

  “Screw you!” With that I whipped my necklace around his neck and with one jerk sliced through. I looked away. I didn’t want to see. I didn’t think I could handle seeing death again so soon.

  “Finally! That jerk annoyed me,” Ramon said.

  “Dispose of him. I assume you both know how.”

  “With pleasure. About time we got some action!” Ramos commented.

  “I’m going home. Meet me there,” I announced as I replaced my necklace around my neck.

  So he was gone now; as quick as that. No more threats, no more stalking; he’s officially out of my life for good. I hate violence though. I hated the way I had to ax him. I’m not an angry person. Contrary I am a mellow vamp compared to my counterparts. Yet he brought out the worst in me. I don’t know if it’s good or bad, but I never would have killed him had he not threatened Kellan. I had been reset mentally. I have very little family left, and I’ll be damned if anyone harms them.

  I was still very upset when I walked through the door. It wasn’t my mood that gave me away though.

  “Where are the twins?” Al asked, searching behind me for them.

  “Doing what I told them.” I sat on the sectional and flipped the TV channel.

  “Why are you covered in dirt?” Kellan pressed eyeing me suspiciously. I didn’t think about it; I knew I couldn’t around him. I looked down at my brown smeared clothes and shrugged.