The Ghost of You

by Tori Fox

  I made it a mile.

  One mile.

  One mile until I was ready to crash on the ground. I am happy there is no military-style endurance test in my detective exam.

  And that’s where I am now. Two miles from home, hunched over out of breath, and Brutus cowering under a tree.

  Not to mention that warm weather we were having the last two weeks has disappeared. It was a nice brisk fifty degrees when I left for my run but with the rain, the temperature is dropping. Or maybe it just feels that way because I am soaking wet.

  I pull on Brutus’ leash ready to attempt another mile when I hear a car pull up next to us.

  “Do you usually go for a run in the rain?”

  I turn around to see Anna on the side of the road, her window rolled down. “Only when it’s thundering,” I joke.

  She smiles. “You need a ride?”

  “Brutus might. I’ll keep running. Like the cold,” I joke.

  She smirks. “Get in, dummy.”

  I pick Brutus up because he still doesn’t want to move himself and put him in the back seat of Anna’s car. I open the passenger door and sit next to her. “Sorry about the wet dog. I’ll pay for a car wash for you.”

  “Don’t worry about it. This car is a piece of shit anyway. I keep putting off getting a new one because I don’t want to put my money toward a car payment. I’ve got other things to save for.”

  “Oh yeah? Like what?” I ask as she pulls away.

  She looks over at me confused, like she didn’t realize what she was saying. “Huh? Oh nothing really.”

  I know when someone is avoiding a question so I let it go.

  “So why were you running in the rain?”

  I push my hair back as water drips down my forehead. “Brutus decided he wanted to go for a long run, four miles one way. Until he decided he didn’t want to run anymore. I had to carry him. Made it half a mile and it started raining. Started running and somehow ran with his fat ass a mile until I felt like I was going to die.”

  I look over at her and see her holding in a laugh. “What?”

  “I’m sorry,” she says, no longer holding in her laugh. “But why would you think Brutus would run that far. He’s a bulldog.”

  “He’s part rottweiler.”

  “Still doesn’t make him a runner.”

  “Should’ve gotten a hound,” I mutter.

  We pull into her driveway and I notice her outside lights are on and mine aren’t. None. My house is dark. I know I left lights on. “Shit.”

  Anna looks over at me and then looks over at my house. “Shit. Is your power out?”

  “Looks like it,” I say as I get out of the car.

  “How is yours out and mine isn’t?”

  “Breakers split between our houses. They changed them in the summer when that mansion at the end of the road got remodeled,” I tell her as she walks around the car to my side.

  “Huh.”

  I let Brutus out of the car and he keeps shaking.

  “He okay?” she asks.

  “Yeah, gets anxiety from the thunder. Usually turn the TV on or music and he is fine.”

  She toes the ground in front of her, a hoodie pulled tight over her head keeping her dry. “Do you have a generator?”

  I shake my head.

  “Well, I have a fireplace and power if you want to come over. Brutus is welcome.”

  I can tell she is nervous asking me, though I have no idea why, we’ve seen each other naked. Not that it was on purpose.

  “You sure?” I ask because I’m not sure she is.

  She peeks up at me through her long lashes. “Yeah. I’ll even make you some tea. Give you a towel.”

  I follow her inside. My mind fighting to keep this moment between us PG. I can’t keep letting these thoughts in my head control me. She must be ten years younger than me. And not what I need to get involved with. I need a one-night stand. One and done. Something to get this lingering need out of my system for a bit. And it will be too awkward to do it with my neighbor.

  I don’t want to sit anywhere because my clothes are soaked, so I stand awkwardly in the entryway waiting for her to grab me a towel.

  Brutus doesn’t give a shit and flops down right on the rug in her living room.

  She walks out with a towel and a pair of men’s sweatpants. “Um, do you want to shower? It might warm you up a bit more.”

  I didn’t even realize I was shivering. “Uh, sure. Hopefully we don’t make a habit out of using each other’s showers.”

  Her cheeks flame and I internally kick myself for saying it. It was supposed to be a joke but I get she might have taken it in a sexual way.

  I grab the towel and head into her bathroom, forgoing the awkward conversation. I shower quickly using her lemon shower gel she had left in my shower last time. I dry off with a towel nowhere near as nice as mine, reminding me she still has one of my towels. I pull on the sweats she left me and can barely squeeze into them. I look at the t-shirt she gave me and know it won’t fit. I decide to leave it off and adjust myself so you can’t see the outline of my dick in the sweats.

  I walk out of the bathroom and find Anna leaning over in front of the fireplace. I don’t have the right pants on for this. She is wearing tiny denim shorts and her ass is peeking out of the bottom. The floor creaks and she stands up.

  “Hi. Got the fire going.”

  That’s when I notice she took her hoodie off and is wearing a tight tank with a corset-like middle. It’s pushing her tits up. And because she was leaning over it looks like her nipples are about to pop out.

  Her hands go to her chest as her eyes follow mine. “Oh my god. I forgot I was wearing this.”

  “What are you wearing?” I grit out, trying to keep any sound of need out of my voice.

  “Oh this, I—ugh, well my friend Seraphina gave it to me.” She looks around the room anywhere but at me. “I’m going to go change.”

  She rushes past me, and I hear her cursing in her room. A few minutes later, she stumbles out in striped pajama pants and an oversized hoodie. She walks into the kitchen and pulls two cups out of a cupboard as soon as a kettle starts whistling.

  She hands me a cup. “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome,” she says, her eyes playing the same game mine were earlier, coasting over my body until they get stuck on my dick. Luckily, I’ve managed to keep it soft but these pants are not forgiving and I can tell she can see the outline of it.

  I cough. “Should we sit in the living room? Warm up by the fire?”

  Her eyes snap back up to mine. “Yeah. Absolutely,” she says over-energetically.

  I shake my head at her as she walks past and sits on the couch first. I sit on the opposite end, propping one arm on the back of the couch and one leg on the cushion.

  “So how was your night?” she asks awkwardly.

  “Wet.”

  She flattens her lips and nods. “Right.”

  I can tell she is having trouble finding a way to make conversation. “What about you? The bar busy?”

  She shrugs. “More or less. Not like last weekend when I made a killing. But I still made out well. The outfit helped.”

  “I’m sure it did,” I say, thinking of the man that left her house Sunday afternoon, a flare of jealousy overcoming me.

  She blushes again and I wonder why it’s just not a permanent fixture on her face. “Shoot. Umm, this conversation just reminded me that I didn’t put my tips away. Do you mind if I go do that? I’m kind of meticulous about it.”

  “Not at all.”

  “Thanks.” She sets her tea on the coffee table and grabs her purse from the foyer. She hustles to the sunroom in the back of her home. I look over at Brutus who is snoring away on the floor. I should head back home but being in here is comforting, unlike the home I am supposed to be building for myself.

  I wonder how she does it. I can tell something happened to her. I can see the same sorrow in her eyes I look at in the mirror every day, yet someh
ow she seems to have moved on, lived. Where I am stuck in the same place, doing the same thing every night.

  She walks back into the living room and sits back down. “Sorry, I go a bit crazy when I don’t put it away. You never know if someone is going to break in. Hate having all that cash around.”

  “Good thing you live next to a cop,” I say with a wink.

  She looks up from the mug in her hand. “Yeah, good thing.”

  She yawns and I take it as my cue to leave. I finish my tea and stand up. “You’re tired. I should get going.”

  “You don’t have to go. Honest. I like having the company.”

  Maybe she isn’t doing as well as I thought she was. “Well next time one of us needs to use the other’s shower we can do this again.”

  She smiles at that. “It’s a date.” That blush returns to her face and her hand goes to the necklace I always see around her neck. “I mean it’s not a date—it’s just a—thing.”

  “Right.” I grin. “Oh by the way, my brother is having a thing tomorrow night. A kind of housewarming party for his studio.”

  She lights up. “He got it? It all worked out? I remember you talking about it.”

  “Yep, he closed on it at the beginning of the week. He moved quickly on getting it ready for a party.”

  “I have to work tomorrow but I got scheduled for the early shift. First cut. So if I can leave early, maybe I’ll stop by.”

  “He’ll be happy about that.”

  She smiles at me and takes my cup from me. “I’ll put this in the kitchen and walk you out. You sure you want to leave?”

  I scratch the back of my head as I hold in a yawn. “Yeah, I need to study.”

  “For what?”

  “Detective exam.”

  “That’s exciting,” she says over her shoulder as I follow her toward the kitchen. I stop in the bathroom and grab my wet clothes before heading back to the front door.

  I wake up Brutus as she meets me in the foyer.

  “Thanks again for the ride. I would probably still be hoofing it.”

  “Or drowned.”

  I chuckle. “Definitely a possibility.”

  “Well, have a good night, Noah.”

  “You too, Anna.”

  The bass of the music is driving me crazy. I am too old for this shit. I don’t even know what the fuck we are listening to. Mason plays a mix of rock, bluegrass, and folk. I have no idea what this is, but the vibrations throughout my body are making me nauseous.

  I make my way to the front door to get some fresh air but Carson stops me.

  “Leaving already?”

  I shake my head and sip my beer. “Nah. This music is giving me a headache.”

  Carson starts cracking up and I look at him strangely. “Dude, don’t tell Mason that. This is some new project he is working on. Thinks it’s going to be the next big thing since dubstep.”

  “I was able to tolerate dubstep. This just sounds like an elephant got stuck in a cement truck and it’s flopping against the side and then the truck caught on fire.”

  Carson raises a brow at me. “That is quite the description. Maybe I should have you handle some of my opening statements and closing arguments.”

  I punch him in the arm and head outside. I breathe in the crisp air as fall settles on Asheville. The leaves are beginning to change and the shift of summer into fall always brings me a sense of relief. Summer lasted far too long this year. Summer is reckless, wild, unpredictable. Fall is a sure thing, something you can rely on, the changing of the leaves, the drop in temperature allowing you to turn on a fireplace, the security of coming home every night as the chill is too much to go out and explore in.

  Claire left me in the summer.

  And for five years I’ve gritted my way through summer. The memories of our lives become fresh every time the weather changes in the spring. The heat of summer rising earlier and earlier with the sun. We would spend our summer days taking out our Scout into the mountains, weekend trips to the coast, dancing to old movies in the park. Now when I think of summer, I think of dark homes and empty spaces.

  But the smell of fall air brings calmness back. I feel in control. I feel alive again.

  I’m about to head back into the party when I hear my name. I turn around and see Anna walking down the street in a pair of tight jeans and a puffy jacket.

  “Hey.”

  “I know it’s really late but I thought I would see if the party was still going on.”

  I run my hand through my hair. “Yeah, it is. You got out of work early?”

  She shrugs. “Not too early, just an hour. I was off at midnight.”

  I look at my watch and see it’s just past eleven. “You walk here?”

  “It was only a few blocks.”

  “It’s not safe on these streets at night. A lot of drunks. And a lot of guys on the prowl.”

  “Okay, Detective,” she says with an eye roll.

  I shake my head. “Still just a cop.”

  “For now.”

  I like how she has faith I’ll pass the test. I smile as I hold the door open for her and follow her inside.

  “You step outside for a few minutes and come back in with a sexy woman. Maybe I should try that.”

  Anna looks at me, and I sigh. “Anna, meet Mason. Mason, Anna, my neighbor.”

  “Ahh the one I told him to invite. Definitely not Mrs. Wilson,” he says as he looks her up and down.

  “Who’s Mrs. Wilson?” Anna asks.

  “My other neighbor who Mason thought I was inviting.”

  Mason shoots me a look from behind Anna and I know that look. He thinks she’s hot and he wants to bang her. And I am fine with that. They are closer in age, have more things in common. I am just a man who is longing after his ex-wife.

  He holds his arm out to Anna. “Come with me, Anna. I’ll give you a tour of my studio. Get you a drink. I heard you are into music.”

  I watch them walk away and let the pang of jealousy hit for a second, then let it pass but not before calling out to my idiot brother. “Yo Mase. She has teeth,” I say as I put my fist near my mouth.

  He flips me off and continues to walk with Anna.

  “What was that all about?” Carson says from behind me.

  “What?”

  “Mrs. Wilson?”

  I laugh at that. “Well you know how Mase feels about blow jobs. I said I was going to invite my neighbor. He thought I meant Mrs. Wilson. I told him at least she can take out her dentures.”

  “Man, I would pay to watch that.”

  “Gross, dude.”

  “So Mr. Brooding Cop, what’s going on with you and that girl?”

  I look in the direction they went. “She’s my neighbor.”

  Carson sips his beer. “Looks like you were a little jealous when Mason walked off with her.”

  “No way. She’s too young for me. We just know each other from living next door.”

  “But you want to know her better?”

  “There isn’t anything there, man. We have awkward conversations and awkward moments. Nothing there.”

  “What kind of awkward moments?”

  I don’t feel like telling him, but I do anyway. He finds it amusing that we saw each other naked.

  He grips his chin and stifles a laugh. “Yeah, man. That is awkward. But you sure it isn’t just you?” He nods toward the back of the room and I see Anna laughing with Mason, like they are old friends. “They don’t seem to be having an awkward conversation.”

  “Mason could have a conversation with a tree.”

  “You sure you’re not jealous?”

  “Not at all.”

  I finish my soda and throw it in the trash just as Carson’s girlfriend walks up to us, wrapping her arm around him. “You ready to go, babe?”

  “Of course,” he answers, leaning down to kiss her briefly on the lips. He is head over heels for this girl. I think he is moving too fast as they’ve only been together for a year and they already live
together, but the rest of my family just says I’m bitter because of Claire.

  “You two kids have fun tonight. Don’t get into too much trouble,” I joke.

  “Thanks, gramps,” Carson says as he claps me on the shoulder and heads out the door.

  I decide to forego my rule of one beer and head to the back to grab one more. I had my first one hours ago when I first got here, not even sure why I am still here, so I know I’ll be fine having another.

  Mason walks up to me as I throw my beer cap in the trash. “Breaking the rules? Drinking two beers? What’s happened to my brother?”

  I ignore him.

  “So that girl is interesting.”

  That perks my ears up. “How so?”

  He leans against the wall and sips a beer. “You don’t know anything about her?”

  I shrug. “She’s my neighbor. She works at a bar and a yoga studio.”

  “Wow, you are really good at getting to know someone.”

  I drink my beer and glance over at Anna. “I don’t see a need to get to know her. She’s my neighbor. That’s it.”

  “Yeah, but you want her to suck your dick.”

  I look over at Mason. “Do you always have to be so offensive?”

  “Says the guy that told me to get my dick sucked from a grandma.”

  “It was a joke.”

  Mason studies me, and I look straight back into his eyes. I love my brothers; I really do, but they need to stay out of my business. All of them are always getting in my face about my life. And I might know about their lives but I don’t judge them and I don’t try to sway a decision.

  I don’t tell Mason that he needs to be more careful with his hookups and partying. He might be great at business but it’s easy to fall down the wrong path. I don’t let Carson know that I think his girlfriend is only with him for his money. I keep my mouth shut when it comes to Hunter and the reason he moved away. The family thinks it’s for his job but he moved for a woman, a woman who still won’t give him the time of day. Asher needs to control his cockiness, it’s going to get him into trouble one day and if it’s after he passes the bar exam, he won’t be a lawyer for long. Everett is the only one like me, quiet, reserved. We all know why he left and we all wish more than anything that he will move back home, but I know he is too broken to ever step foot in North Carolina again.