The Ghost of You

by Tori Fox

  I wrap my arm around her shoulders as she lets out a deep breath and throws the last of the daisies into the water.

  “I never even found out who it was. Who was able to give him what I couldn’t? I guess it doesn’t matter.”

  She grabs the rings around her neck as a few tears fall. “I hate myself for getting angry with him. If I hadn’t, maybe we could have talked it out.”

  “You can’t be angry with yourself for his death.”

  “I know. But it’s always easy to think about what could’ve been. Who knows, maybe he would have left me either way.” She pauses as she throws the flower stems into the creek. “I think I am mostly angry at him for destroying it all. Our wedding, our future, our music.”

  As I listen to her talk suddenly everything makes sense. Why she hates winter, the rings around her neck, the new daisy tattoo every year. I am a fool for thinking we could do this. Have a relationship. This right here is the reason we can’t. She hasn’t moved past losing her fiancé. She won’t be able to move on until she gets closure and I am not sure she ever will. She told me she wouldn’t be like Claire but how can I trust that to be true?

  I can’t put my heart on the line again. I can’t risk losing everything again. And with every day I spend with her my heart falls more and more.

  These feelings I have for her are strong. Are they strong enough for me to get through this with her? Or will she end up leaving me too when she can’t move through her own past?

  “You are the only person who knows by the way. No one knew about the affair. I couldn’t find it in myself to tell anyone. Let our friends and family know he was a liar and cheater. So I kept it a secret. From everyone.”

  “Anna—”

  “Don’t tell me I should have opened up about it. It was already hard enough. It was easier to shut everyone out.”

  “I know that more than anyone. I did the same with Claire. I didn’t want people to see our failed marriage.”

  “Maybe you were what I needed to let it all go. It took me up until I met you to play music again. God, I wasted seven years. Seven years I should have spent playing music, finding myself. Not being hung up on a man who didn’t love me when he left. A man that didn’t find me worthy enough to love.”

  I turn toward her, pulling her chin so she will face me. “Don’t regret that time. Don’t be mad over things you can’t change. Maybe that time was what you needed to be better than you were before. But don’t ever think you aren’t worthy enough to love. You amaze me every day. Your heart is so filled with love. You show it to everyone that is around you. It’s in your music, it’s in your words, it’s in everything you do every day. And I want nothing more than that love for my own.”

  Her eyes glisten with tears as she searches my eyes, searches for the deeper meaning behind my words. “Are you in love with me, Noah Taylor?”

  Am I in love with her? I know I’m falling, but love?

  “You don’t have to say it. Just show it.”

  So I do. I press my lips to hers in a kiss that speaks more than words ever could. And as I push into her mouth, kissing her with reverence, I know I am letting her into my heart. A heart I never thought I could let anyone into. Let my fears be damned. Because loving Anna, that is worth every risk.

  She crawls on to my lap, deepening the kiss. Showing me that she loves me without having to say it. “You make me want to let go, Noah. You make me want everything I was too scared to admit I wanted,” she says against my lips.

  I pull her further into me, needing her to be as close to me as she can get.

  We hear the groan of the decrepit bridge we are on a little too late as we both fall into the shallow creek with a laugh.

  “I thought you said it would hold.” I laugh as I wrap her in my arms in the cold water.

  “I thought it would!”

  I stand up, only half wet, and pull Anna up with me. She wraps her arms around my neck, pressing her lips to mine, even as we stand in the cold creek. “I am falling for you, Noah Taylor. You are the song to my soul.”

  I can’t answer her. How do you put anything into words after that?

  Instead, I kiss her with a fierceness I didn’t know was in me as I lift her into my arms and carry us out of the creek, out of the woods, and out of her past.

  23

  Noah

  “You are smitten.”

  I shake my head as Mason tosses me the basketball.

  “No, bro, I think that is love. Look at that face,” Carson jokes as he tries to block my shot.

  “If you are trying to distract me, it’s not working.” I sink the ball into the net.

  Hunter cuts in as he throws the ball to Carson. “We don’t need an answer from him to know he loves the woman.”

  For the last two months hanging out with these two has been atrocious. Constantly messing around with me to get me to admit my feelings for Anna. But I haven’t. Because I still haven’t said the words to her. She hasn’t said them to me either but every day I feel like she might. I can see it in her eyes. I know she is in love with me.

  And I want to love her but I am keeping one last guard around my heart just in case.

  We take a break from our basketball game. We all agreed to come up early for Sunday dinner since the four of us hadn’t hung out since Thanksgiving. Anna got asked to pick up an extra shift at work so she couldn’t make it. And I know that is why my brothers are hounding me now.

  Mason sits next to me and chugs his Gatorade. “Anna told me she is finally going to see her family.”

  Anna has been hanging out with Mason at least once a week, writing music and learning more about producing in the studio. Mason knows about her strained relationship with her family. I don’t know if she told him or if his friend, Dee, told him. But her sister got engaged on New Year’s and she got invited to the engagement party. She struggled for weeks over it and I finally convinced her I would take her. I told her it was cashing in on the favor from Thanksgiving. She let me know it wasn’t a favor and if she was going to see her family she would want me there for support.

  “We are leaving on Friday. The party for her sister is Saturday. But I somehow convinced her she should see her family in private first.”

  “That’s a huge move for her. From the little I know about her past.”

  I nod. “She scared as shit. But she has to do this.”

  Mason looks off in the distance. “Did she tell you about Nashville?”

  I look over at him curiously. “What about it? I mean, I know that is her goal eventually.”

  “There is a songwriting camp in the spring. I told her she should apply for it.”

  This is the first I am hearing about this, but I agree with Mason. “She didn’t tell me.”

  “I figured as much. That girl is so fucking talented. I swear she could write a number one single in her sleep. But she is so hesitant about putting herself out there.”

  I know her past holds her back. She doesn’t want to be on stage like before but even letting people hear her music takes a few arm twists. I know that bastard ex-fiancé of hers had a lot to do with it. The fight they had before he died put a thorn in her side. And she is too scared to pull it out.

  “I’ll talk to her.”

  “I can’t see her not being accepted, Noah. They only take twenty people. Even if ten thousand apply, I know she would be one of them. Dee agrees too.”

  I rub the back of my neck. She is too stubborn sometimes to see her talent. And over the last few months she has let me in, let me hear her magic. The first time she sang a song to me, I had chills down my spine. Her voice is haunting, raw, unlike anything I’ve ever heard before. She deserves to be on a stage. But I know that isn’t her future. “You know how she is, Mase.”

  He stands up and grabs the basketball next to us. “You are changing her, man. Making her see who she could be. Don’t stop. I like this wild side of her. And let me tell you, whatever it is you are doing to her to boost that creative spark
she has. It’s gold, man.”

  I let Mason pull me up before we join my brothers to finish the game. “I know, I know. She’s magic.”

  “If you grip that bottle any harder, it’s going to explode,” I tell Anna as we drive the two and a half-hour drive to her hometown. She has an unopened water bottle in her lap and she has been white-knuckling it for the last hour.

  “I’m so nervous.”

  I look over at her and she looks pale. Not her usual bright and cheery self. Not the woman I can make blush with a few choice words. She is scared and nervous and everything in between.

  I pull off the road at the next exit and pull into the back of a gas station.

  “What are you doing?” she asks nervously.

  I don’t say anything as I get out of the car and walk over to the passenger side. I open her door, unbuckle her seat belt, and pull her to face me, stepping between her legs so I can get as close to her as possible.

  I take her face in my hands and kiss her slowly. My hands fall into her hair, pulling her mouth to mine. Her body slowly relaxes with each swipe of my tongue. Her hands let go of the water bottle in her lap and wrap around my waist. Her ankles wrap around my thighs, pulling me even closer to her.

  Eventually she pulls back and whispers against my lips. “I’m scared, Noah.”

  I rest my forehead against hers. “I know, baby. But this is your family. They want to see you more than anything. Remember the surprise in your mom’s voice when you told her you were coming.” I push a wild curl behind her ear as I pull back and look into her hazel eyes. “They love you. They want to see you more than anything. They’ve been waiting seven years for this moment. It’s okay if you’re scared. Because I am sure they are too. But that fear will dissipate the second they have their baby girl back in their arms.”

  She holds back her tears while I comfort her. “I can do this,” she whispers to herself.

  I press my lips back to hers, needing to show her I am here for her. She smiles at me and I know I’ve helped alleviate some of her fear for the time being.

  I shut her door and get back behind the wheel of my SUV. I look over at her and she has more color to her face, more life in her eyes.

  “Noah,” she says putting her hand over mine on the gear shift before I can put the car in drive. “Thank you.”

  “Anytime, Mayberry.” I shift the car into drive and pull out of the gas station.

  The rest of the drive has less tension as we ease into the easy conversation we always have between us. She tells me all about Becca and how she can’t wait to see her after seven years. I’m surprised with how much they talk that Becca hasn’t made the effort to go and see Anna. Becca has always had Anna’s back, supporting her in her decision to not come back to Hartswell but I find it odd Becca wouldn’t go out of her way to see her best friend.

  As we approach her hometown we decide to stop at the hotel before heading to her parents. I check us in and carry both of our overnight bags to our room. I let her know I am going to shower and she nods as she tosses her phone in her hands.

  “You alright?”

  “Yeah. I will be.”

  I kiss her briefly before heading into the shower.

  When I walk out of the bathroom, she is on the phone.

  “What do you mean you didn’t know about the engagement party? You were the one who told me he wanted to propose months ago?”

  I can’t hear the other person on the line but my only guess is that she is talking to Becca.

  “Well I’m in town. Finally after all these years. It would be nice to see you.” She paces the room while the person on the other line talks. “You’ll try to find time for me? What the hell, Becs?”

  I walk up to her and place a hand on her shoulder to let her know I’m here for her.

  “Whatever, Becca. Let me know if you can make time for me.” She hangs up the phone and throws it on the bed.

  “She won’t be there tomorrow?” I ask.

  “It’s weird. She said she wasn’t invited. She only heard from word of mouth.”

  I pull her into me. “Maybe you can ask your sister tonight?”

  She nods. “I don’t know why Jessica wouldn’t have invited her. Probably some stupid drama.”

  “Probably.”

  Anna takes the time to take me in. I am standing in nothing but a white hotel towel and by the look in her eyes, she appreciates it.

  Her hands go to my towel and she unwraps it from my waist, throwing it to the side before dropping to her knees.

  “Baby, we need to leave soon.”

  She looks up at me with hooded eyes filled with desire. “We can be late.”

  She sucks me deep into her mouth and I groan in agreement. We can most definitely be late.

  “Oh my goodness, let me show you this scrapbook I made!” her mom exclaims.

  After a quick romp between the two of us, enough to ease her nerves and flush her body, we finally got ready and headed to her parents.

  All of her doubt and fears were erased the second they opened the door with open arms and a lot of tears.

  Her family missed her. And Anna missed her family more than she realized. Tears were shed between her parents and her sister. A lot of words were said. But they accepted Anna and all the decisions she made over the last seven years. She even told her parents about the night of the accident. The fight that closed her off and shut her down. The fight that made her run without looking back. She explained how she moved around for years seeking solace and eventually came to terms with the fact that she wouldn’t find it; it would come to her.

  And that was why she moved to Asheville. To be around Seraphina, a friendly face who always accepted her, flaws and all.

  She also told her family I gave her her life back. I brought her heart back to life, kept it beating, let it find the pieces of her she lost along the way.

  I couldn’t help but look at her in admiration as she spilled her soul to her family and spoke such high praise about me.

  This reunion was perfect. And everything she needed. I can tell her family loves me and I can’t help but feel adoration for them as well.

  And that’s how I find myself sitting next to her mom after a delicious meal with a scrapbook of Anna’s life in front of us.

  “Oh this was her on her first day of high school. Look how awkward she was.” I can’t help but laugh when I look at the picture of Anna. A bit heavier with braces and wild curls blowing across her face. Next to it is a picture of her, Kyle, and Becca.

  Kyle looks dapper even as a freshman with is perfectly coifed brown hair and piercing copper eyes. Becca is laughing as her and Anna hug each other. The three of them look like the best of friends.

  As her mom flips through the pictures, I see Anna age from her high school graduation to her first day of college. There are pictures of her on stage and I wish I could see a video. The pictures make her look so alive and carefree. Like that is where she belongs. And Kyle stands next to her, his gaze transfixed on her. There is no doubt he loved her deeply. It’s painstakingly obvious in the photos. But what went wrong? What made him betray her and commit the worst sin in a relationship?

  The thought of him makes me clench my fists. How could he throw away something so perfect?

  “Mom, stop showing him that stuff. It’s embarrassing.”

  “Oh baby girl, hush your mouth. He loves looking at these old pictures of you.”

  She groans as she grabs the scrapbook, shutting it. “He doesn’t want to see pictures of me when I was fat.”

  “You weren’t fat. There was just more of you to love,” her mom says.

  “And that’s what moms are taught to say about their fat children.”

  Her mom goes to respond but Jessica cuts in. “Anna you were never fat. Just curvy. But whatever the hell you did, I wanna know your secrets! Because once me and Connor start making babies, I want to be sure I can lose the weight.”

  Anna laughs at her sister. “You’ve been
skinny your whole life Jess, I don’t think you need to worry.”

  I wrap my arm around Anna and kiss her temple. “You were just as gorgeous then as you are now.”

  She rolls her eyes just as her mom gives an audible sigh and aww.

  “And with that we are heading out,” Anna declares. “I’m tired and want to get some sleep before the party tomorrow.”

  Her sister snorts. “Yeah right. I doubt you’ll be getting any sleep with that hunk of meat next to you.”

  It’s my turn to blush at Jessica’s comment.

  “And we are out,” Anna says as she pulls my hand toward the front door.

  We say our goodbyes and then head out to the car.

  “How do you feel?” I ask her.

  She smiles at me, and I have never seen that smile before. Its happy, bright, and powerful. “Like the entire world has been lifted from my shoulders.”

  I lean over the center console and give her a kiss before heading back to the hotel.

  24

  Anna

  I wake up to a very hard dick in my back. That’s one of the things I love about Noah. He always wants me in the morning. And morning sex is my favorite.

  I grind my ass into his hips. He wakes up and I can feel his grin in the crook of my neck as he sucks on the crease between my neck and clavicle.

  After we find our release I turn over to face him. “Thank you for coming this weekend. You make everything easier.”

  “I’m proud of you, Anna. You needed this.”

  I smile at him, my grin stretching from ear to ear. “I did. I needed this so much. And if it weren’t for you, I never would have done it.”

  He pushes a strand of hair off my face. “I think you would have eventually.”