A Measure of Love

by Sophie Jackson

  The rest of the day was filled with getting everything ready. Riley managed to convince his mom to cook a couple of Lexie’s favorite foods, which she placed lovingly into Tupperware tubs before leaving them in the fridge. Riley packed what he needed into the bed of Tate’s truck and drove as close as he could to a spot in the woods that he knew would give them the utmost privacy. It was a spot he and Lexie had discovered once when they were ten-year-old space explorers and it had always stuck with Riley as one of his favorite memories. He doubted Lexie would remember, but there was a part of the forest canopy that opened up, showing millions of stars. Lexie had tried to name every one.

  Riley set about making everything perfect, needing it to be perfect. His cell phone chirped with a text message in his pocket. He pulled out his Nokia 3100 and smiled at the screen. Lexie.

  Did you know it’s my birthday?

  Yes, I did. Even though I texted you at a minute past midnight: Happy birthday!

  Thank you. Again. Where are you?

  Doing some stuff :)

  Stuff? When can I see you?

  I’ll pick you up at six as planned.

  Can’t wait.

  With an extra spring in his step, Riley surveyed his work one last time and jumped back into the truck, hightailing it home for a cool shower and some serious chill time. He was about ready to jump out of his skin and the closer it got to six o’clock, the more anxious he became, which was . . . ridiculous, really. Lexie was the one person in the whole world Riley trusted most. Sharing such a private, intimate part of himself with her should be simple, easy, natural even. But that didn’t stop his heart from fluttering like a swarm of damned butterflies as he pulled up at her parents’ house and honked the horn.

  The door opened, and Lexie appeared in a pair of shorts and a pink tank top printed with varying-sized stars of deeper pink. With the summer heat, she’d ditched the usual Docs in favor of a pair of pink flip-flops and had tied her hair up into a messy bun. God, Riley loved her hair like that. He liked the shape of her neck and the fact that he could kiss that part of her. But he also loved knowing that with one tug, her hair would fall down her back and he could lose himself in its smell.

  Mr. Pierce stood in the doorway watching Lexie with the eye of a father who suspected his seventeen-year-old daughter’s boyfriend was up to no good. Riley tried to smile, but it fell flat when Mr. Pierce glared in reply. Shit. Even after nine years, the man still called Riley “that boy” and barely spoke to him when he was at Lexie’s house. Lexie laughed about it and maintained that Mr. Pierce actually liked Riley—that his bluster was all a façade. But Riley didn’t believe that shit one iota. Lexie was a bona fide daddy’s girl and the man was scary as hell. For one split second, with Mr. Pierce’s all-knowing stare needling him across the twenty feet of the front yard, Riley reconsidered what he’d planned.

  “Hey!” Lexie grinned as she jumped into the truck, slammed the door, and leaned over to kiss Riley’s cheek. “I missed you.”

  With those three words, all of Riley’s fears and doubts flew out the window as Lexie waved at her father. “I missed you, too,” he admitted, putting the truck in drive and setting off.

  Lexie clapped her hands together. “So what’s the big surprise? Where are you taking me? What’s the plan?”

  Riley laughed. “Wait. Were you seventeen today or seven?”

  “What?” she protested. “I’m excited. Sue me.”

  Riley reached across the truck seat and grabbed her hand. Pulling it to his mouth, he placed a gentle kiss on her knuckle. “I’m glad you’re excited and we’ll be there in about fifteen minutes.”

  She beamed at him and jumped a little in her seat. She was too adorable when she was like that. As they got closer to the part of the forest where Riley had set everything up, he noticed that Lexie seemed confused. He smirked. “You okay over there? Don’t you remember?”

  Lexie leaned closer to the window, as if that would help her realize where she was, and her mouth dropped open. “Oh my God, is this where we counted the stars?”

  “And you tried to name them all.”

  “How the hell did you find this place again? What were we, like, twelve?”

  “Ten. And why wouldn’t I remember?” He turned his head to look at her. “I was with you.”

  Lexie’s face softened as a small smile played across her gorgeous mouth. Riley had always thought Lexie pretty, from the very first moment he saw her. But, over the years, she’d become so beautiful he’d catch himself staring at her just because he could.

  “Riley,” she whispered. His heart fluttered when she spoke his name and his skin was set on fire when she reached out to run her hand around his neck.

  He did his best to focus on the dirt path and finally pulled the truck up to where he needed it. Turning it off, he threw a wide smile at Lexie before jumping out of the truck and moving to her side. He held the door open and closed it behind her when Lexie was next to him. He took a step away, but her hand on his wrist stopped him. He looked at her curiously.

  “Come here,” she said in that soft, breathy voice that never failed to get Riley’s blood pumping.

  He did as she asked, dipping his face to hers so they could kiss. Jesus, they’d gotten good at kissing since that first one all that time ago. They knew exactly how to get each other going. Lexie would do this thing where she’d nibble on Riley’s bottom lip. When she was really into it and clothes had come off, the nibbles would turn to bites. It drove Riley insane.

  They broke apart and Riley rested his forehead against hers. “What was that for?”

  Lexie placed her hands on his face. “It was to say that, no matter what happens tonight, you’ve already made it the best birthday ever.”

  And didn’t those words just make Riley’s heart soar? “Come on,” he murmured when he found his voice. He pecked at her mouth. “Let’s eat.”

  “Eat?” Lexie asked with an incredulous laugh that got lost on the evening’s breeze when she finally saw what he’d done.

  Riley had placed a large picnic blanket on the forest floor, directly under the canopy opening so once it got dark, their view of the stars would be brilliant. He’d found some lanterns, just like those from their junior dance, and hung them on the closest trees ready to be lit, next to pink balloons and pink streamers hanging off branches and leaves. He’d brought a couple of extra blankets in case the temperature dropped later, and there were plates, covered fruit and bread, and the food Riley’s mom had prepared still in their Tupperware containers.

  Lexie was quiet for so long, Riley started to become nervous. “Do you like it?”

  “It’s . . . perfect,” she gasped, placing a hand to her chest. “I can’t believe you did this for me.”

  It still blew Riley’s mind that Lexie struggled to grasp just what she meant to him. It shouldn’t have, considering they’d not ever really said the “I love yous,” but honestly, there’d never been a need. It was unspoken between them, residing in their nine-year friendship, fleeting glances, kisses, and touches.

  They sat together on the blanket and Riley set about plating the food. “Your mom made this?” Lexie asked. Riley smiled as he passed her the lasagne that was still a little warm. “She’s a legend.”

  “Like mother, like son,” he commented and wiggled his eyebrows, causing Lexie to laugh.

  The food was awesome, and, once they’d had their fill, Riley lit the lanterns and tea lights he’d stashed. They lay back on the blanket and watched the blue sky turn indigo, talking about everything and nothing until indigo turned to black. Their conversations were filled with laughter and truth, echoing through the woods, while the silences were anything but uncomfortable. She laid her head on his chest, smiling as she listened to his heartbeat and he played with her hair. She pointed at stars and told him stories about them and he listened as intently as he always did. Riley wasn’t sure what he loved more—when she was chatty and enthused or when she was quiet and smiling. Not that it matter
ed; she was perfect either way.

  Riley bit into a strawberry she held over his mouth, sucking her fingers as he did.

  “Where do you want to be in ten years?”

  Riley blinked at Lexie’s question and swallowed the strawberry down. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, work, life.” She wiped her hands on a napkin. “We have to start thinking about college for next year. You still want to go to NYU?”

  With his head resting on his arm beneath it, he turned to look at her. “I want a business degree. Dad says it’d be the best thing for me for the future. You know Dad wants me to take over the shop. I work there enough for him and none of the others want it.”

  “But is it what you want?”

  “Sure,” he answered truthfully. “I’m good at it and I enjoy working with cars. But I want to push myself. NYU Stern has the best business program. I’d be able to learn the financial side of running a successful business, more than what I could learn just with my dad. He’s happy to pay the bill, so I’m lucky. Plus, with this degree I could have my own business one day. Have a chain of places, a franchise, or even go into something bigger, like parts manufacturing maybe. That’s what I’d really want.”

  Lexie propped herself on an elbow at his side. She watched him carefully, trailing a finger over his Green Lantern T-shirt.

  “What about you?” he asked.

  “I don’t know. I’m still undecided.” Riley smirked, knowing that she’d been turning herself inside out with her indecision. “I’d like to do something . . . maybe astronomy.”

  “Really?” Riley sat up, taking her by surprise. “Because, honestly, that’d be awesome! You’d crush it.”

  Lexie snickered. “You think?”

  “I know! Seriously”—he waved a hand towards the sky—“you know all the names and everything. No one knows more about the solar system than you.”

  Lexie huffed and lay back down. “Now you’re mocking me.”

  Riley leaned over her. “I’m not.” He dipped his head and kissed the tip of her shoulder. “You’re like Stephen Hawking or . . .” He thought for a moment, drawing a blank. “Whoever else is really good at space stuff.” Her body vibrated under his mouth as she giggled. “I think it’d be amazing,” he offered, looking up at her. “No bullshit.”

  Her annoyed expression softened. “You know, there’s an amazing Physics program I’ve seen,” she murmured. Riley hummed into her skin, loving the taste of her skin on his lips. “They do cosmology and, well . . . it’s at NYU, too.”

  Riley froze for a moment before lifting his head. His eyes traveled over her face, knowing every freckle, dip, and small scar by heart. “What?”

  “The course. It’s at NYU,” she repeated, her voice cautious.

  Riley drew his head back a little, so he could see all of her. “You’d go to NYU?”

  She lifted a shoulder. “I have the grades to get financial aid and it’s an amazing school, but . . . more importantly, you’d be there.”

  Riley tried to swallow past the huge lump of exhilaration and emotion that abruptly lodged in his throat. “You’d come with me. To New York?”

  She raised a hand and ran it through his hair, making his eyes roll back into his head. “I’d go anywhere with you.”

  “Lex,” her name escaped his lips before they crashed down onto hers.

  Jesus. Riley had never heard news so good and his chest almost burst with relief. He’d worried so much about leaving Michigan to go to college—even considering options closer to home—but he’d all but pushed it to the back of his mind, not wanting to consider what it would do to his heart to be separated from his Lexie. But now? Now all he wanted to do was lose himself to her, and then show her what her words meant to him.

  She opened her legs and he dropped carefully between them, wanting her to feel what she did to his body. He was seventeen and, at this point, more than a little familiar with his dick and his hard-ons, but fuck, he was never as hard as he was when he was with Lexie this way. He tilted his hips and pushed against her, the way he knew she loved. They’d made each other come so many times like this, and each time was incredible. She gasped into his mouth and pulled him closer, her fingertips pinching the skin of his neck and shoulders as his mouth traveled from hers to her cheek to her chin and her throat. He was ravenous.

  “Please,” she whimpered into his hair, writhing deliciously beneath him.

  “Tell me.”

  “I want you.”

  “You have me.”

  “I want you inside . . .”

  Riley took a deep breath and pushed himself to his hands at either side of her head. She was beautifully flushed. “You’re sure? I mean, I know you said, but—”

  Her fingers on his lips stopped him. “I’m ready.”

  He smiled and kissed her tenderly. “Come with me.”

  He clambered to his feet and held a hand out for her to take, leading her back to the truck. Telling her to wait by the truck bed, he slipped the keys into the ignition so that the electrics gave a gentle whirr and he plugged a cord into the voltage outlet on the dash.

  The laugh he heard from Lexie told him his plan had worked. Around the back of the truck cabin, he’d stuck small pink and white fairy lights. And, in the truck bed itself, once he pulled back the tarpaulin covering it, he’d laid out a couple of large blankets and at least six pillows.

  He fidgeted when she turned to him. “I like to plan ahead.”

  Lexie snorted and started clambering into the truck bed, dropping back onto the blankets. She kicked off her flip-flops and exhaled. Riley watched her stomach and chest rise and fall with his heart in his throat. She was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen, but the enormity of the situation began to weigh heavily. Fuck. They were really going to do this.

  Noticing that he hadn’t moved to join her, Lexie looked up. “You okay?” she asked, leaning back on her elbows.

  He smiled and ran a hand through his hair. “Just . . . watching you.”

  She smiled. “You going to watch all night, or are you going to join me?”

  Without a second thought, Riley kicked off his own flip-flops and climbed into the bed, crawling up her body and making her squeal as he blew raspberries on the parts of her belly that he could see. He kissed her repeatedly until she stopped laughing and dissolved into him, holding him so damned close, clutching him as though terrified he would leave.

  “It’s okay,” he whispered into her skin. “You’re okay.”

  “I love you,” she said, her words quiet but fervent. “God, I love you so much.”

  Riley’s breath stuttered from his lungs and his eyes quickly became very hot. He placed his forearms at the sides of her head, framing her, protecting what was so precious to him. “I love you, too,” he whispered, nuzzling her temple. “All the world, Lex. Always.”

  Their clothes came off slowly, both of them taking their time despite Riley wanting nothing more than to go a thousand miles an hour. Lexie pushed him onto his back, taking charge as he loved her to do, and kissed his chest and his throat, driving him beyond distraction. She seemed to grow extra hands when they had hardly any clothes on, rubbing him in ways that had him cursing and pushing his fingers between her legs to touch her until she begged for more. He was still learning and discovering new things about how to make her call out his name, so he loved that she was so vocal. She had never been shy about what she wanted, telling him exactly what she liked: There. More. Easy. Faster. Inside. More. Don’t stop. Oh God, don’t stop.

  She shattered in his arms, his fingers wet with her, his heart full of her and his mouth desperate for more of her. She was glorious under their stars and the lights that seemed to make her skin glow. With shaking hands, Riley rolled on a condom and held himself above her. Staring into Lexie’s eyes, her glasses lost among their clothes, he saw what he’d always hoped for: love, adoration, and everlasting friendship.

  He lowered his chest to hers, her soft breasts so warm against hi
m, and let his index finger dance across her cheek. “You’re so beautiful,” he said. “Thank you.”

  She exhaled a laugh; the movement rubbed her body against his. “What are you thanking me for?”

  “For being my best friend,” he answered. “For coming to New York and for loving me.”

  She lifted her head and kissed him. “All the world. Always.”

  And, as they kissed, Riley pushed his body carefully, slowly, gently into hers, knowing that he would never love anyone else for the rest of his life.

  8

  Riley’s legs powered him forward, the force of his feet pounding the pavement matching every heavy thump of his heart. With every stride, he prayed that the memories of Lexie’s seventeenth birthday would fade. But even after running with Seb for over thirty minutes, he’d swear the smell of her from that night was still all around him.

  Sweat was dripping down the side of his face by the time they turned down their parents’ street and began sprinting toward the house. Seb won the not-really-racing-but-we’re-totally-racing race by a mosquito’s ball and dropped down onto the lawn, stretching his legs and back. Riley simply dropped to the lawn next to his brother and breathed like an eighty-year-old with emphysema.

  “You’re getting slow in your old age, son,” Seb commented as he stretched his glutes.

  “Fuck off.”

  “It’s the beard,” Seb continued. “You’re not streamlined anymore.”

  Riley turned to his brother, squinting in the June sun. “You know, the more you bitch about my beard the more I think you actually love it. And the more determined I am to keep it.” Seb chuckled and lifted his arms above his head. “Besides, I know you’re only jealous because instead of awesome facial hair follicles you have girl’s hair.”

  With a tight-lipped smile across his face, Seb flicked him the bird. Riley laughed, rolling onto all fours and pushing himself up. The house was quiet when they entered. Joan was at the hospital with Aunt Carol and, with Park improving day by day, Maggie and Rosie had gone home. Park was still in HDU, but his progress was good. It had been two days since he’d opened his eyes and he was now sitting up and eating. Riley and his brothers were taking turns to be there with their mother. Today, it was Tate who’d gone.