“He’s making a habit of this,” Riley whispered as he headed toward the stairs.
“Do you need a hand?” Lexie asked as she stood.
Riley shook his head. “I got it.”
In the bedroom, Riley placed Noah on the bed and covered him as he’d seen Lexie do the previous evening. He kissed Noah’s head and left the door open a crack before rejoining Lexie in the living room, where she was picking up a few of Noah’s toys and books and placing them in the blue box by the TV. She turned to him as he approached. “He okay?”
“Dead to the world.”
“Yeah, he’s always been a good sleeper.”
“Unlike you,” Riley commented, moving closer to her.
She shook her head. “No. Thank God. He sleeps just like his father.” She pressed her lips together before speaking again. “I love watching you with him,” she murmured. She cocked her head a little. “You know he falls asleep on you because he’s so comfortable with you, right?”
Riley felt his heart soar. “Really?”
“He only does that with me, Mom, and Sav usually.”
Riley took in every inch of Lexie’s face, the freckles, small scars, and marks that he knew with his eyes closed. “I like that he feels that way.” Riley was more than a little aware of how the atmosphere around them had changed, charged, and snapped as they gazed at one another. “You know, it’s going to get harder for me to keep leaving.”
“It’s already getting harder to watch you leave,” she replied. “When do you go back to New York?”
“I know Max said I can stay however long I want, but I can’t do that to him. We’re partners, and I need a paycheck. I’ll stay for a few more days.”
She nodded. “Maybe Noah and I can come back with you some time.” She smiled. “I’ve never been to New York.”
Riley stared at her in astonishment. “You’d do that? You’d come and see me?”
Lexie shrugged nonchalantly. “Of course. Noah would love it.” Her blue eyes darkened. “I’d go anywhere for you. I always would have.”
Riley’s mouth was on hers before he even realized the need he had to kiss her. And fuck’s sake, wasn’t it just as he remembered. Her arms were quickly around his neck and she moaned into his mouth.
As always happened when they gave themselves over to their desire, they folded into one another. He pulled her close, her body pressed into his from thighs to chest and, God, she felt so damned perfect, so familiar against him. Their tongues met, first in her mouth and then in his, dancing back and forth like reunited old friends. Her taste. Her taste. It was the same. His body pulsed, as though every part of him sang for her, wanting to feel her inside and out.
“Fuck,” he panted when they broke apart, pressing himself closer. “We can’t.”
Her breath flew across his face, hot and gasping. “I’m sorry.”
Riley huffed a laugh. “For what? I kissed you.” He held her when he felt her try to pull away.
“I don’t want to pressure you or force you into something, Riley.”
“You’re not.”
“I only want to be honest with you and, the truth is, this is all up to you. I want you, I want all of you, but I don’t want you to think you have to want me back because of Noah.”
Riley let his eyes wander over her, let his hands tighten their grip on her. Was that what he was doing? Was this because of Noah? He kissed her again and she moaned against his lips. No. This was the two of them, how they always were. He could already feel the heat between them start to gain momentum. His mouth moved to her jaw. “I want us.” He lifted his head. “But I want us to be patient. No rushing.”
The look in Lexie’s eyes told him she knew he was right. They had to think carefully about what they were about to do. There were too many variables to consider, Noah being the most important. She kissed him softly. “Okay.”
He nuzzled her temple. “Let’s take the time I spend in New York as time to think about where we go from here.” He sighed and rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “When I get back we can talk more.”
“I’d like that.”
They sat back on the sofa and for the rest of the evening they talked about easy things, things that weren’t scary or dangerous. Every so often, Riley found that he needed to reach out and touch her. His hands ran through her hair or touched her hand. They laughed and reminisced, and, as the hours passed, Riley allowed the hope he’d tried to keep under lock and key back in. Like water from a broken dam it surged around his body, lighting him from the inside out. As scared as he knew he should feel allowing it to happen, Riley knew he’d never felt more alive.
· · ·
For the next month and a half Riley split his time between New York and Michigan, hating every moment he was away from Noah and Lexie, and living for the days he flew back to see them. Today was one of those days of anticipation, except he wasn’t the one doing the flying.
“Jeez, man, what’s up with you?” Max sniggered as Riley bopped and dipped across O’Hare’s to the rocking sounds of Radiohead. It wasn’t that Riley didn’t normally dance around—his running man was world famous, after all—but today there was definitely a little more slide and boogie to his moves.
He glanced at the clock on the wall of the shop. “Noah and Lex land at JFK tomorrow morning.”
Max smirked. “I know, dude. You’ve talked about nothing else for a week.”
Riley shrugged without apology.
“I think it’s sweet,” commented Steph as she walked past them back to her desk.
“See?” Riley said with an arm extended in Steph’s direction. “I’m sweet. Chicks dig this shit.”
“Sure they do.” Max rolled his eyes and dropped down into the pit under a 1968 Dodge Charger.
“How’s Grace, Max? You still lovin’ having her in the city with you?” Riley called, picking up his mug of coffee and chuckling at the narrow-eyed expression and dirty rag that was thrown back at him.
“She’s good. And. Yes.”
“Great,” Riley replied, elongating the vowel just to wind Max up further before turning the volume up on the stereo to drown out his retorts. Riley didn’t know why Max still got so touchy about loving Grace, especially since they’d been officially together for nearly a year, but it was funny as hell. He crouched down, catching Max’s eye under the car. “You’re still gonna bring Grace to meet Lex and Noah on Saturday night, right? Kat and Carter are coming.”
“Sure. I think Grace is more excited than you.”
The day dragged at a snail’s pace, with Riley constantly watching the clock. Every text that Lexie sent him appeared to turn the clock back another hour, driving him beyond distraction, but eventually the day was over and, after he’d shut up the shop, Riley made his way to a couple of stores, grabbing a few last-minute bits for Lexie and Noah’s arrival.
It was the first time the two of them had come to New York to visit, and Riley had never been more excited. It was going to be four days of awesomeness and he couldn’t wait. He’d even planned a few tourist-type trips for them to take, including to Lady Liberty, whom he knew Noah would lose his shit over. Riley bought a blow-up bed for his spare room, which he’d had to clear of all the junk he’d collected over the six years he’d lived in the apartment. He made sure that his comic-book movie collection was up to date and that his kitchen was filled with everything Noah and Lexie might want.
“I gets to see you tomorrow!” Noah yelled down the phone when Riley called later that evening.
“You do,” Riley said with a laugh. “I can’t wait. I’ve missed you, man.”
“I missed yous, too. It’s been a billion years.”
It sure did feel like it, even though he’d seen Noah and Lexie only ten days ago. The longest ten days ever. “I know. It sucks. But tomorrow we can hang out and do whatever you like. Make sure you sleep good tonight, okay?”
“Okay! ’Bye!”
For weeks, Riley had been putting out feelers back in
Michigan about possible work, but it seemed that mechanics were an overpopulated race in Traverse City, and, ironically enough, he seemed too overqualified for many to take him on. He’d also worked up the nerve to talk to Max about the shop and what his future options were.
It seemed Riley had two. One: he could cash in his share of O’Hare’s and the money it had already made—which wasn’t a vast amount in only eighteen months—or two: keep his share and use it as a nest egg, which, as a father with a son to think about, wasn’t a bad idea. Either way, they weren’t the perfect solutions Riley was hoping for, but he tried not to get too despondent about it; something would turn up. It always did.
The following morning, standing in the arrivals at JFK, Riley heard Noah before he saw him. With only eleven days since their last meeting, Riley could have sworn that Noah had grown again. He charged at Riley, arms out wide, smile beautiful and excited. Riley grabbed him and picked him up, swinging him around and clutching him close, breathing in the scent of sugar, sun, and something that was inherently Noah. He blew a raspberry on Noah’s cheek and grinned when he squealed and wiggled to be put down. It was then that he heard Lexie. Her laughter floated toward him, filling the parts of him that belonged only to her.
She was lovely in the New York sun streaming through the windows of the airport concourse. Her glasses, her pink Muse T-shirt, and her pink flip-flops were perfection. She was the girl he remembered, the woman he was getting to know again, to care about again, and everything in between.
Making sure Noah was still at his side, Riley moved toward her, feeling as though his body were in slow motion. Apart from his heart. His heart pounded. He wanted to kiss her—they’d done a lot of covert kissing over the past six weeks, each kiss becoming a little more heated, each one a silent promise of what was to come—but Riley knew he and Lexie still had to be cautious around Noah. The little boy was too smart for his own good, and Riley didn’t want to confuse him.
Riley placed a hand on Lex’s waist and pulled her to him, furtively kissing the hollow behind her ear.
“I missed you,” she whispered.
He stepped back and grinned. He’d missed her, too. “Good flight?” He looked down at Noah as he spoke, always aware of including him in any of his and Lex’s conversations—where possible, of course.
“We gots snacks,” Noah enthused, grabbing hold of Riley’s two middle fingers and swinging their arms.
“Awesome!” He twirled Noah under his arm. “What do you say we go back to my place, drop off your stuff, and then we adventure around the city?”
Noah paused. “An adventure?”
Riley winked at him. “We may even see Spider-Man.”
Noah’s mouth dropped open. “We haves to go now!”
He pulled on Riley’s hand, dragging him as much as his four-year-old body would allow.
· · ·
“Welcome,” Riley said with a smile and a rattle of his keys. He placed Lexie’s bag down and gestured for them to enter. Inviting Lexie and Noah into his apartment was an altogether odd experience, kind of like seeing his past and present merge.
It wasn’t odd, however, that seeing them both in his home filled him with something akin to serenity. He and Lexie had discussed her and Noah’s trip to New York for a while before they made any concrete plans. They both comprehended what a huge step it was, showing Noah where Riley lived, as well as it dredging up old memories of what could have been had things been different and Lexie gone to NYU with Riley all those years ago.
Watching Lexie and Noah in his apartment, Riley quickly pushed those thoughts away. There was no point mulling over it all now. The anger and the hurt he’d harbored since his return to Michigan had diluted considerably over the past few months and, honestly, Riley was glad of it. Having such negative emotions within him was exhausting. Lexie continued to go above and beyond in terms of helping push his and Noah’s relationship forward, while allowing Riley space to consider what he wanted. Despite the effort she was still making with Riley’s parents, his brothers were yet to be convinced; the three of them were still understandably protective after Lexie’s Noah bombshell.
As always, Dex was objective and logical, always studying a situation from all angles before he made a comment, while Tate called a spade a spade, and Seb took the opinion that if Riley was happy, then fuck it. The four of them were finally getting together for an early birthday celebration for Seb at their parents’ house in a few weeks, and Riley couldn’t wait.
Lexie stood next to his sofa as Noah investigated the place, skipping around and seemingly touching everything he could. “It’s lovely,” she murmured. “Noah, watch what you’re doing, baby.”
“He’s fine,” Riley said softly, moving to her side.
“This place is great.”
Riley looked around as though he’d never seen his apartment before. “Yeah, it’s not bad.” He kicked his foot against the floor.
Lexie crossed her arms over her chest and nodded. “I’m so happy to be here.”
“Me too.”
“Can we goes out now?” Noah asked as he ran around the couch and stood with them.
“Sure thing, man,” Riley answered. “You ready? I thought we could go to see the Statue of Liberty.”
Noah jumped up and down like a jack-in-the-box, clapping wildly.
It had been a very long time since Riley had allowed himself to be a tourist in New York City, but seeing the joy and wonder on Noah and Lexie’s faces made it all worthwhile. Noah was awestruck by Lady Liberty and later ran around like a lunatic as they wandered through Central Park.
Seeing Lexie laugh and enjoy herself reminded Riley of when he’d first moved to New York when he was eighteen. He’d had so many plans, so many dreams about what he and Lexie could do together. The only thing that had kept him even remotely sane when it all fell apart—other than the women and booze—was the fact that the city was easy to get lost in.
Lexie nudged his shoulder with her own. “You okay?”
“Yes. I’m . . . I just . . . I can’t wait to rediscover this city with you two.”
Her top teeth traveled across her bottom lip as she looked back at him and then toward Noah. “I can’t wait, either.” She sighed. “Thank you,” she whispered before her eyes met his. “For being . . . you. For your patience, your forgiveness. For wanting me around.”
Riley stopped walking and turned to her, his fingers itching to reach out and touch her. He allowed his hand to find hers and squeezed it gently. “I meant what I said: I want to try.”
She nodded. “You just have to trust me again. I understand.” She tilted her head a little. “Do you? Do you trust me?”
Riley regarded her for a moment before taking a step closer to her. “Yeah. I think I do.” Forgetting where he was, he bent his head down to graze his lips against hers.
“Mommy!” Lexie didn’t flinch away, even though Riley jerked his head back. They both glanced over at the kid, climbing all over the Alice in Wonderland statue. “Looks at me.”
Riley chuckled. “Be careful, buddy. No broken bones.” Noah laughed and sat down, swinging his feet. “He doesn’t care, does he?” Riley asked, turning back to Lexie. “He doesn’t mind when you and I are . . . like this.”
Lexie shook her head. “He told me he likes it when you and I hug.”
“He did?” Riley startled.
“Yeah, he was just concerned that I liked your hugs better than his.”
Riley let his head fall back as he laughed loudly.
· · ·
The next couple of days in New York were some of the best Lexie could remember. During the day, the three of them ventured about, visiting Ground Zero, walking the Brooklyn Bridge and fastening a padlock to it engraved with their names, riding the subway, seeing the island from the top of the Empire State Building, and eating the most amazing food.
At night they hung out at Riley’s apartment, laughed, played, and, after Noah was fast asleep, she and Riley would
talk and drink, kiss and rediscover each other in every way they could without falling into bed. It was wonderful becoming friends again, watching his trust for her slowly form behind his hazel eyes. She wanted so badly for him to trust her. It was a hell of a challenge having Riley so close, so tender, and not push for more, but she knew just how damned lucky she was to have him at all, let alone having his mouth on hers and his words of promise in her ear.
It was the most picture-perfect of existences, and it filled her with a hope so profound she could barely contain it. Her adoration and love for her son and his father could no more be measured than put into words.
“You look great.”
She turned from the mirror hanging on Riley’s bedroom wall to see him leaning against the doorjamb, smoking hot in his ripped jeans and gray T-shirt, which read “ ‘That’s what.’ —She.”
Lexie snorted and Riley glanced down at himself. “A Christmas present from my asshole brother,” he explained. “You doing okay? Still nervous?”
Lexie turned back to the mirror, wondering whether the shorts and white sleeveless blouse were too casual for a dinner with Riley’s friends. Was she nervous? Hell yes, but knowing what the evening meant to Riley kept a smile fixed front and center. His wanting to introduce her and Noah to his friends was a massive move. Lexie knew firsthand what Riley’s friends meant to him; as far as he was concerned, they were his extended family, and he was as loyal to them as if they shared blood. He’d always been that way, wearing his heart on his sleeve, proud and clear for all to see, taking no shit and protecting those he cared about fiercely. It was one of the things she loved most about him.
She stared at him in the mirror, knowing she didn’t deserve the second chance he seemed to be offering her but swearing silently that she’d spend every day she had giving back to the universe. “I’m looking forward to meeting everyone.”
He approached and placed his palms on her shoulders, giving them a squeeze. “It’ll be great. I know it.”
A Measure of Love Page 21