A Measure of Love

by Sophie Jackson

  Maggie and Aunt Carol were the first to arrive, with a very excited Rosie, who was wearing a pink dress that she twirled around in at every available opportunity. Maggie looked even more pregnant and grumbled constantly about swollen ankles and heartburn. A few of Seb’s friends turned up: Gray, his oldest friend from high school, and his new girlfriend, and a few college buddies who were still in the area, who brought beer and presents.

  When the doorbell rang again, Riley’s chest fluttered. He’d seen Lexie’s car pull up and immediately flushed hot all over. He was first at the door and opened it with a flourish. Noah beamed up at him.

  “We’s here!” he called out, making Riley laugh.

  “You sure are,” he replied before looking at Lexie, who looked incredible in a navy-blue dress and ballet flats. “Glad you could make it. Hi, Christine. Come on in.”

  Seb wandered down the hallway, apparently beckoned by the doorbell. He smiled when he saw Lexie and leaned over to kiss her cheek. “Good to see you, Lex. Hi, Christine.” He looked down at Noah and grinned. “And you must be Noah.” He held out a fist. “I’m Seb, Riley’s brother. Nice to meet you, man.”

  Noah paused only briefly before he knocked his tiny fist to Seb’s.

  “Do you have something to give to Seb?” Lexie asked.

  Noah held up a bag. “This is yours for yours birthday,” he said quietly.

  “What do you say?” Lexie encouraged.

  “Happy birthday.”

  “Thanks, Noah,” Seb said, taking the bag. “That’s so nice of you.”

  “Welcomes.”

  Riley watched as Seb stared down at the kid and he saw it coming a mile away: he’d fallen for Noah, too. The little boy was just that cute.

  “Come on through,” Riley said. “Everyone is in the backyard.”

  They joined the congregation in the yard, where the sun shone and music played. Joan and Park both said hello to Christine and Lexie, which didn’t feel as tricky as Riley had feared, and he watched as his parents fell about themselves when they saw Noah. Tate and Dex, who were standing by the grill, were the next two to be introduced to Riley’s son and both men were immediately taken with him.

  “This is Tate and Dex,” Riley explained to Noah. “They’re my brothers.”

  “You has three brothers?”

  “Crazy, right?”

  Noah looked up at Tate and Dex, seemingly flummoxed. Dex spoke first. “How ya doin’, Noah?”

  “Good.”

  Dex nodded at Lexie, his blue eyes careful behind his lenses. “Good to see you, Lex.”

  Lexie smiled small. “You too. I hear you were in Thailand. Sounds amazing.”

  “It was.”

  Tate simply sipped his juice, his intense stare on Lexie the entire time, as though he was trying to see straight through her. The small talk was awkward, but at least Riley’s brothers were making an effort, which he was more than appreciative of. If he and Lexie were going to try and build a relationship again, his family had to be on board. It was just the way it worked.

  “Is that your walking stick?” Noah asked suddenly, as he stared at Tate’s cane.

  “Noah,” Lexie hissed, embarrassed.

  Tate smiled. “It’s okay.” His tone was cool with Lexie, but his grin at Noah was wide and playful. “To the untrained eye it’s a simple cane that helps me walk.” He lowered his voice and Riley knew what was coming. “But to a Jedi . . .”

  Noah’s eyes widened. “It’s a lightsabers?”

  Tate bent at the waist so he could whisper. “I knew The Force was strong in you.”

  Noah blinked, speechless. He turned to Riley. “Your brother is a Jedi?”

  Tate smirked at Riley, while Dex’s shoulders shook with his quiet laughter as he said, “He likes to think so.” Before Tate could interrupt or say anything else, Riley placed his hand on Noah’s head and smiled. “Hey man, there’s someone else I want to introduce you to.”

  Riley took Noah’s hand and led him across the yard to where he and Tate had placed some chairs for their guests. “This is my cousin, Maggie, and this is her daughter, Rosie.” Noah’s eyes widened as he looked at Rosie, who tilted her head a little as she regarded him. “I thought you two could play together.” Noah’s hand squeezed Riley’s. Riley crouched down. “Rosie’s a cool girl.”

  Noah’s spare hand found Riley’s beard and his small fingers began to twirl around in the whiskers. Riley had begun to understand that Noah did it when he needed comforting. “Does she likes playing soccer?”

  “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask?”

  Noah moved even closer to Riley but looked over at Rosie as he asked, “Does you likes playing soccer?”

  Rosie nodded. “I play soccer with my daddy.”

  Noah seemed surprised. “Your daddy?”

  “Yes, don’t you?”

  Maggie’s expression softened as she looked at Riley.

  “No,” Noah answered, making Riley’s stomach twist with protectiveness so fierce he had to take a deep breath. He desperately wanted to tell Noah who he was. He and Lexie had discussed it and she was happy for him to tell Noah when he wanted and, Jesus, Riley wanted, but now just wasn’t the time.

  “Oh,” Rosie answered, her face concerned. “I can play soccer with you now.”

  Noah balked a little. “In a dress?”

  Rosie looked down at herself. “Dresses don’t stop me playing. I can play anything even though I wear dresses.”

  Maggie snickered into the back of her hand and pulled Rosie in for a hug. “That’s my girl.”

  “I have a soccer ball in my mommy’s bag,” Noah told her. “We cans play with that.”

  “Sounds great, buddy,” Riley said and, without thought, kissed his temple. “Why don’t you go with him, Rosie?”

  She seemed hesitant for a split second before she agreed and followed Noah back toward Lexie, who had been watching from a polite distance. She helped get the soccer ball for Noah and she and Riley watched the two kids move to the far end of the yard and start kicking it to each other. “That might have been the single most adorable thing I have ever seen,” Lexie said with a hand to her chest.

  Riley smiled, moving closer to her. “You okay?” Christine was standing talking to Riley’s parents.

  Lexie nodded, glancing at Tate and Dex. “I’m good. I still feel like I’m the big, bad wolf.”

  Riley looked at his brothers over his shoulder. “Don’t worry about them. If I’m happy they will be, too.” Riley leaned toward her and kissed her softly, drawn by her understanding and how beautiful she looked in his parents’ backyard. She froze for a second before she kissed him back. It was brief, but it was delicious.

  “I like you being here,” he whispered.

  “I like being here, too.”

  “Mommy,” Noah’s voice came from behind Riley. He ran toward them, clutching his crotch. “I needs to go.”

  “Okay, honey,” Lexie said, holding out her hand. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

  Riley watched the two of them walk back into the house before he turned, grabbed a beer from the ice bucket, and made his way over to where Tate was still looking like he was ready to throw down.

  “Stand down, Marine,” Riley commented, shoving his shoulder into Tate’s.

  Tate shook his head and rolled his eyes. “I don’t trust her.”

  “I know,” Riley remarked, pulling at the label that wound around his beer bottle. “But I do.”

  “Really?” Dex asked. “You’re serious about trying again with her?”

  Riley sighed, letting his gaze return to where Lexie and Noah had disappeared. “Yeah, I think I am. This is my chance at having a real, honest-to-God family.”

  “You have a family,” Tate said. “And we care about you.”

  Riley’s chest squeezed. He wrapped an arm around Tate. “I know, brother. I love your crazy ass, too.”

  “And this is what you really want?” Dex asked again, his logical brain working overti
me.

  “Yeah,” Riley replied, the word slipping from him with ease and honesty. “She and Noah are what I want.”

  Dex and Tate shared a look before Dex nodded. “Then I’m happy for you, Ri.” He chinked his beer bottle to Riley’s. “Just be careful, huh?”

  “I will.”

  “You gonna tell Noah who you are yet?” Tate asked, staring across the yard.

  “I want to. I’m just waiting for the right time.”

  “We’ll be there if you need us to be,” Tate said firmly.

  “I know you will.”

  Dex lifted an arm, gesturing toward where Seb and Gray were standing alone, apparently having quite the intense conversation. Seb’s body language was all closed fists and ticking jaw. Boy looked like he was about to flatten a motherfucker. “What’s that about?”

  Riley frowned. “No clue.”

  Before any of them could move across the yard to stop whatever shit was about to fly, Seb shook his head, spat something harsh at Gray, and spun away from him, striding over to where Riley, Tate, and Dex were standing. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were blazing.

  “What the hell’s going on?” Dex asked, the eldest-brother streak in him causing a V to form between his brows as he glared over at Gray, who was talking to the girl he’d arrived with.

  “Nothing,” Seb said before lifting his bottle of beer and draining it. “It’s a party, and I’m getting shit-faced. Who’s with me?” He cast an apologetic look at Tate, who smiled good-humoredly.

  “Why not?” Dex said with a shrug. “This jet lag is already kicking my ass and a hangover tomorrow sounds all sorts of awesome.” He wound his arm around Seb’s shoulder and guided him toward where all the alcohol was sitting.

  “Never a dull moment,” Riley commented.

  Tate snorted. “Drama, drama, drama.”

  · · ·

  The rest of the afternoon was perfect. Everyone had a great time, even Seb, who, after Gray and his girlfriend left, seemed to cheer up a little, although the way he was throwing back the Grey Goose and Red Bulls, he would be hurting the day after. Riley had tried to pull out of his brother just what the hell was going on, but he remained close-lipped, which was odd in itself.

  Noah and Rosie played the day away. They had umpteen games of soccer before Park pulled out the small pool and the two of them (and a couple of adults) started splashing and throwing water around. Lexie stayed close to Riley for most of the day but let him wander and speak to the other guests, while also making an effort to speak to Riley’s family. Joan seemed to be slowly warming back up to her, but Park was still frosty, kind of the way he was still being with Riley. Riley was slowly running out of ideas as to how he could ever gain his father’s forgiveness.

  At around 8 p.m., Dex and Seb and a few of Seb’s friends decided they were going to take the party to a club somewhere. They got changed, booked a cab, and left. Riley was more than a little surprised that Dex had agreed. He was usually so sensible, and almost always the first to go to bed, but it was great seeing him cut loose. Maybe his trip away had shaken some of the pragmatism out of him.

  With Maggie and Rosie having left an hour before, Noah was out cold on the sofa, the day’s festivities finally catching up with him. Coming down the stairs from a bathroom break, and after checking on the little boy, Riley found Lexie in the kitchen, clearing up the plates and glasses and filling the dishwasher. She wiggled her hips from side to side along to the music that was still playing in the yard, where Riley’s parents, Tate, Christine, and a few other stragglers were chatting and drinking.

  Riley allowed himself to watch for a moment, enraptured by her ass and the way her waist twisted and curved. She was sexy as hell. He approached her quietly and reached out, placing his hands on her hips, making her jump.

  “You scared me,” she said with a small laugh.

  He hummed in her ear and moved with her. “You look great.” He breathed her in. “You smell great.”

  “You feel great,” she said, placing the dish towel down and putting her hands over his.

  “Our son is asleep.”

  “I know. It’s late. I need to take him home.”

  “Can I come?”

  She slowed her movement and turned to face him. Riley didn’t step back and her chest pressed against his. She pushed her glasses up her nose. “You want to?”

  He leaned closer and touched his mouth to hers, squeezing her waist as he did. “Yeah,” he answered, nibbling on her bottom lip. “I want to.”

  Riley lifted his hand and cupped her face. “Let’s go.”

  Riley had drunk too much to drive, but he was more than capable of lifting Noah from the sofa. The little boy was deadweight, his small arms and legs flopping against Riley as he held him and placed him carefully into his car seat. Riley sat at his side, while Christine rode shotgun. Lexie dropped off her mother and, once Riley had picked a still sleeping Noah from his car seat, they made their way into the house. As was the routine that had slowly built up, Riley took Noah to bed, pulling off his small shoes and shorts and putting the sheet over him. He stood back for a minute watching his son sleep, bowled over by how perfect the kid was.

  Riley made his way out of the bedroom to find Lexie standing at the top of the stairs.

  “He okay?”

  “Perfect,” Riley answered.

  They gazed at one another for what felt like a million years until, after taking a deep breath, Lexie walked over to him. She reached for his hand and pushed her fingers between his. “I’m so glad you’re here, Riley.”

  “Me too,” Riley breathed, his gaze tracing the delicate lines of her collarbone. He remembered just how sweet that part of her tasted.

  “Do you want to do this?”

  “This?”

  “Us,” she clarified. “Are you ready for that? For me?”

  Riley held his breath a beat. “I think so.” Her blue eyes traveled over his face. “I don’t want anyone else,” he added. “I don’t want to be anywhere else at this moment.”

  “Good, because I want you. I’ve always wanted you.” She kissed him then, with slow, warm kisses that caused the blood in Riley’s body to pump through his veins faster than he could ever remember. She slowed her mouth on his. “Could you love me again?”

  Her question made all the air in his lungs leave him in a rush. “Lexie,” he gasped. “I never stopped loving you.” He held her face, letting his lips whisper against hers. “I could no more choose to stop breathing than I could forget what I feel for you. And believe me, I tried. For years. But I can’t.” Lexie slumped in his arms. He could see the words behind her eyes and he was suddenly desperate to hear them. “Tell me,” he whispered. “Tell me.”

  Her voice was hot and husky in his ear. “I love you. All the world.”

  “Lex.” Her name on his lips was a curse, a promise, a goddamn plea, and she heard it, loud and clear.

  With her hand still in his, she led him from the top of the stairs and down the hallway to her bedroom. Nerves and excitement thundered through Riley as he entered, turned, and watched Lexie close her bedroom door.

  He swallowed in an effort to wet his throat. “Will he wake?”

  She shook her head. “Not until six a.m.” She reached for the hem of her dress and pulled it up and over her head, leaving her in nothing but her black underwear.

  She was just as exquisite as he remembered. In fact, his memories had not done her justice. He’d known her body intimately since he was eighteen, and from teenager to young woman and to her now being a mother, he’d watched in amazement as parts of her softened and altered. Her skin was pale and clear, making the darkness of her nipples even more prominent. He was suddenly hit with the most erotic thought, that the breasts that he knew so well had fed their son. He moaned low in his throat when he remembered the texture of them on his own tongue.

  “Let me see you,” she whispered, both of them still, breathing heavily in the soft evening air breezing through the
open window.

  Oxygen shuddered from Riley’s lungs as he reached over his head and pulled his T-shirt up and off. The way Lexie’s stare roamed down his chest, over his shoulders, to his hips made his eyes roll. She was four feet away, but he could feel every part that her gaze touched. She was first to move, her body lithe and gorgeous. She bridged the gap between them and Riley closed his eyes in anticipation of her touch. But it never came. Instead, she walked around him, coming to a stop at his back. She blew on the nape of his neck and he inhaled at the sensation.

  “I’d almost forgotten how beautiful you are.” Her mouth was just inches from his ear.

  Riley jumped and sucked in a breath when her hands gripped his waist. They moved up slowly to his rib cage and she squeezed gently. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to calm his body down. It was an exercise in futility; he was about ready to fucking explode.

  Lexie’s hands moved up farther until her palms were pressed against his shoulder blades. She placed a gentle kiss on his spine and he groaned at the contact. Her lips were warm and felt so fucking good. Riley desperately wanted to turn so he could devour her, but her touch had him all but paralyzed. Her tongue flicked from his shoulder to his neck, and he clenched his fists tightly at his sides.

  Lexie moved her arms under his, her fingertips skimming all the way down until she reached his jeans fly. He knew she could feel how hard he was for her as she took hold of the zipper and pulled it down, leaving the material gaping. Her hand snaked into the denim and Riley’s entire body tensed while her other hand ghosted over his chest, circling his nipple. Riley panted.

  “Jesus, Lex.” He could feel her tits pressed against his back and ached to have them in his hands and mouth.

  “I know.” She moved slowly to stand in front of him, leaving her right hand behind him to trail across his ass before giving it a little squeeze. “It’s overwhelming, isn’t it?”