A Measure of Love
Page 26
She dodged slow-moving cars and even slower people, cursing and frantic in her effort to get to the automatic doors of the hospital, which opened slowly, catching Lexie’s shoulder as she barged her way through. Joan was behind her somewhere, hurrying just as Lexie was. There were people everywhere in the ER, bleeding and holding limbs that looked worryingly out of shape, but she couldn’t have cared less. There was only one person she cared about, one person she needed to get to.
She shoved her way toward the nurses’ station, breathless and bedraggled.
“Riley,” she panted loudly to any one of the four people standing behind it. The nurse, sitting at a computer, looked up in alarm.
“Riley,” she repeated. “I’m here . . . his mother and I got a call a few hours ago from Wesley Carter.”
The nurse’s face softened. “Okay, honey, calm down. Do you have a full name for me?”
Lexie nodded and swallowed. The back of her throat burned. “Riley Lincoln Moore.” Joan appeared at her side, breathless and pale. “There was some kind of car accident,” Lexie added. “He was hit . . . hit by a car. We were told he was in surgery.”
The nurse’s face changed infinitesimally, and Lexie’s stomach was immediately rolling. She’d seen enough TV in her life to recognize that fucking expression. The look sent a spear of frozen fear through her body, buckling her knees and suffocating her chest.
“No,” she whispered, gripping the desk. She turned to look at Joan, whose face crumpled and fell. A buzzing sound began in Lexie’s ears, deep and loud.
“Sweetheart, it’s all right,” the nurse said softly, reaching out.
“Alexis,” Joan urged. “Breathe.”
But Lexie was unreachable. She was quickly falling into blackness, covered only by the animalistic yell that ripped from her throat as she staggered back and lost herself to its embrace.
· · ·
Lexie awoke slowly, wrapped in a warm blanket, her head resting on a thin pillow. She blinked once, twice, before she shot upright, dazed and utterly discombobulated.
“It’s all right,” came a soft voice from behind her.
Lexie turned to see Joan. Despite the small smile, her face was drawn, and the lines under her eyes were dark and tired. Seeing her look the way she did made Lexie gasp for breath.
“Is he all right? Can I see him?”
Joan sighed and placed her palms on the silver rails of the gurney Lexie was lying on. She’d feel embarrassed about passing out later.
“The police are here.” She licked her lips and exhaled. “They’ve told me what they know. Riley was crossing the street and was hit by a car. The driver was drunk. He didn’t see Riley until it was too late. They’ve arrested him.”
Lexie cupped her hands to her mouth. “Oh God.”
“Riley’s been in surgery for three hours already, but they won’t tell me anything else.”
“Is he going to be okay?”
Joan shook her head. “I don’t know. I honestly don’t know.” She bit her lip and wiped a finger under her eyes. “Tate’s here. He was in town. Seb and Dex are on their way, but they might not get here for a few more hours. Carter is trying to do all he can.”
Lexie shuffled to the edge of the gurney and carefully placed her feet onto the floor, not knowing for sure whether her legs would hold her up. They did. For now.
“He’s strong,” she whispered, suddenly aware that she had to pull herself together and support Joan as much as she could. She was Riley’s mother, for God’s sake; Park was still unable to travel, which was why he was back in Michigan; and, if the tables were turned and it was Noah who was in surgery, Lexie had no idea what she would do. Without a word, she wrapped her arms around Joan and pulled her in for a hug.
Joan all but collapsed into the embrace and wept onto Lexie’s shoulder. Lexie shushed her quietly and held her close. “He’s strong,” she repeated, praying to God that it was the truth.
· · ·
Lexie placed her arm around Joan’s shoulder and held her to her side as they began making their way to the waiting room. When they entered, they found Tate, Carter, Kat, and Max sitting together, all of them looking as terrified as Lexie felt.
Kat stood as soon as she saw Lexie and moved toward her. “Are you okay?” she asked, hugging her tightly.
“I’m okay,” Lexie answered as she watched Joan move to sit with Tate, who wrapped an arm around her. Lexie looked over at Carter. “Thank you so much,” she said. “Really. Thank you for organizing the plane and—”
He held a hand up. “It’s all right. It was the least I could do.”
Lexie looked over at Max, who looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but in a hospital waiting room. His leg jumped up and down while he chewed the hell out of his thumbnail. “Where’s Grace?”
“West Virginia,” he answered quickly.
Lexie allowed Kat to move her to a seat and sat down. “Who has Noah?” Kat asked.
“My mom and sister,” Lexie answered. “I didn’t want him here, in case . . .”
Carter’s hand on hers made Lexie look up. “He’s gonna be okay,” he offered.
“Yeah,” Kat said, her voice small and uncertain. Carter kissed his wife’s temple as though trying to calm her.
Lexie nodded, but she was unable to shake the horrible helpless feeling that had clung to her ever since she’d woken in bed. What the hell would she do if she lost Riley? It would be her biggest fear realized, and what kind of bitch was fate to bring them back to each other and then rip him away again?
She placed her palms to her face and tried to breathe, knowing that tears would do nothing to help Riley now. She just had to pray that, as he’d said, he’d find his way back to them all. To her.
· · ·
The minutes moved sluggishly, every one of them a moment where Riley was in surgery, another moment where he might never come back. Lexie tried to distract herself from her darker thoughts by getting coffee or trying to talk to Riley’s friends, but it wasn’t enough. Time ticked on with no word or assurance that Riley was going to be okay.
Lexie was standing, looking out the waiting room window, when Tate moved to her side. Riley’s older brother had been more than a little cool with her since he found out that they were trying to make a go of it again, and that was fine. In the years Lexie had known Tate, she knew he and Riley were the closest of the four brothers. She knew how protective Tate was, how loyal, and with that in mind, she reached out a hand and took his, squeezing once before she let go.
Tate looked over at her, his expression one of surprise, before he dipped his chin. A silent thank you that warmed Lexie’s heart. “Will we hear something soon?” she asked, hoping that his being an MD would give him more insight into what the hell was going on.
“Riley had some internal bleeding, some . . . broken bones and fractures. He was pretty banged up. They’ll spend their time making sure that the bleeding has stopped before they do anything else.”
Lexie nodded, but no words came. That all sounded horrific and scary, but she wouldn’t allow herself to let it pull her under. No way. She had to be strong. Before she could say anything anyway the door of the waiting room opened with a creak, and a familiar head peeped around its edge.
“Sebastian,” Joan breathed, lifting from her seat and moving to her youngest son. Seb was followed by Dex, the pair of them shell-shocked and scruffy. Tate made his way across the waiting room and the four of them formed a circle, arms around one another, words of love being muttered quietly. Joan lifted her head and looked over at Lexie.
“Come over here, Alexis.”
“Oh, no, it’s okay,” Lexie assured her. “You have your moment.”
“This is a family moment,” Joan countered. “And you are a part of this family.”
What the hell could Lexie say to that? She pressed her lips together and as Seb and Joan dropped their arms, she moved between them, allowing their love and warmth to seep into her and fill her with all the s
trength she knew she needed, the strength the family had continually given her over the years, even when Lexie hadn’t realized it.
As they slowly broke apart, the door of the waiting room opened again. Lexie looked up to see a stout, middle-aged man with pockmarked skin and blue scrubs standing in the doorway. A younger man with blond hair and an arrogant swagger followed.
“Mrs. Moore?” the older doctor inquired.
Joan nodded, as the walls of the room seemed to bend and expand in anticipation and panic. All of Riley’s friends stood behind his family and Lexie. They must have seemed like quite the group.
“I’m Dr. Hunt,” the doctor continued. “I operated on your son, Riley.”
Lexie’s heart leaped from her chest to her throat. “How is he?” she blurted without thought.
Dr. Hunt glanced at Lexie briefly before looking at Joan, who nodded in acquiescence. “Riley suffered extensive internal bleeding,” he said gently. “There was some blunt-force trauma to his chest, which resulted in some broken ribs and a collapsed lung. There was also some damage to his pelvis. He broke his leg in three places, as well as sustaining a fractured skull.”
“Is he alive?” Dex asked through gritted teeth.
Dr. Hunt looked over at Dex and crossed his arms over his chest. “Yes, he’s alive.” Lexie reached out for Joan’s hand, gripping onto her tightly as her legs shook. “He was very lucky,” the doctor added. “I stemmed the bleeding, reinflated his lung, and an orthopedic surgeon pinned his leg. He’s been taken up to recovery as he awakes from the anesthesia and then he’ll be moved to ICU.”
Seb cupped a weary hand over his mouth. “Can we see him?”
Doctor Hunt shook his head. “Not yet. Get some rest. You can see him in the morning.”
“He’s going to be okay?” Joan asked.
He raised his eyebrows in quiet respect for his patient. “He’s strong. He’s a fit, healthy young man. There’s nothing to say after some physiotherapy that he won’t make a full recovery, but head injuries can be funny things. We’ll be watching him very closely for the next twenty-four hours.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” Tate uttered.
Dr. Hunt turned, but Lexie stopped him with a palm on his forearm.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you so very much.”
The doctor nodded. “You’re welcome.”
18
The intensive care unit of the hospital was unnervingly quiet, save for the occasional beeping of the machines that, in many cases, were keeping their patients alive. Lexie followed a nurse down a long, deserted corridor toward Riley’s room.
The nurse stopped at the door and turned. “Dr. Hunt said no longer than ten minutes.”
“I know,” Lexie answered. “I’ll be on the button, I promise.”
The nurse smiled and walked away, leaving Lexie standing awkwardly, not moving. The rest of Riley’s family were in the waiting room, even Park, who had, unbeknownst to Joan, booked a flight and arrived early that morning. Lexie had stayed at Riley’s apartment—Tate had a key—along with his brothers and parents. It had been quite the tight fit, but comforting all the same.
Lexie clasped the door handle firmly before pushing it open. At first, she kept her eyes trained on the floor, unable to look up. She was so afraid of what she would see, despite Joan and Seb insisting that Riley looked okay. Gathering herself took a few moments. Gradually, she lifted her eyes to the bed at the far side of the room and, as though sucked out by a vacuum, all the air in her lungs disappeared.
Riley lay on his back, eyes closed with induced slumber, wires and tubes sticking out from his chest, arms, and mouth. As Dr. Hunt had explained, Riley was on a ventilator. Lexie watched it rise and fall in synchronicity with his chest. His heart was beating loud and clear, each beep of the monitor a beautiful siren reassuring her that he was, in fact, alive.
Lexie walked toward the bed slowly, quietly. She looked him over, searching for any signs of the horrific trauma that he had been through, and saw nothing but a small smear of dried blood on his right arm. Pulling a tissue from her pocket, Lexie wet it with the tip of her tongue and wiped the blood away. She pressed her hands to his skin, feeling warmth and softness. His hair was messy and his mouth appeared stuck in his perfect smirk as the ventilator tube pulled to the left side. A large white bandage covered and wrapped around his chest, a small tube protruding through it, but Lexie couldn’t look at that for long. The terror of what lay beneath it was still too raw for her. She breathed deeply and let her palm whisper down the side of his face. He was so damned beautiful.
She smiled wistfully. “I’m here,” she whispered.
Lexie’s eyes filled with tears when she realized that, stupidly, she’d expected a response from him. He was never quiet. Never. He always had something to say, something crass, funny, or colorful. She loved that about him, how he spoke so freely, so truthfully.
She smiled to herself. Who was she kidding? She loved everything about him. Her heart stammered, seemingly knowing that its other half was so close, but so far away. He was the missing piece to her, her soul mate, her best friend, the father of her child. Living without him was simply not an option.
Fate had kept them apart for so long. She had only just found him again. To lose him now . . .
Halting her thoughts abruptly, Lexie let her fingertips dance up the ink on his arm, curving to his muscular shoulder. He felt so sturdy and tough under her touch, yet he lay utterly vulnerable and helpless. She leaned closer to him, running her fingers through the front of his hair. It felt so soft.
“You get better,” she said quietly, near his ear, pushing her hand into his and squeezing with every word. “You hear me? You get better.”
She placed a tender kiss on his forehead. This time, with his scent and the familiar tingling of her flesh touching his, there was no stopping the tears.
“I love you, Riley,” she whimpered against his skin. “God, I love you so much. I need you.” She collapsed against him, burying her face into his neck. “Don’t you leave me,” she begged. “Please. Don’t you leave me.”
She prayed to God that he could hear her.
· · ·
For the next week, Lexie spent her time either sitting in the hospital waiting room anticipating news on Riley or with Noah, who had arrived with Christine three days after Riley’s accident. She split the nights between staying at Riley’s apartment and Carter’s place, where Riley’s brothers and parents had taken lodging at Carter’s insistence. Having Noah around, playing, cooking, and bathing him, kept Lexie’s mind occupied, especially considering how excited Noah was to be back in New York. He was, however, confused as to where Riley was and why they were staying in his place when he wasn’t there.
“Riley isn’t well, baby,” she’d explained the first night they were in the apartment. “He’s in the hospital.”
Noah frowned. “He has the chicken spots like I hads?”
“No.” Lexie had been unable to think quickly enough, wondering what the best thing to say was. She figured the truth was the most important. “He was in an accident, but he’s getting better.”
Noah thought for a moment. “Shall we gets him a present to make hims feel better?”
Lexie kissed his forehead. “I think that would be a great idea.”
“I cans draw him a picture,” Noah exclaimed, shuffling off the edge of the sofa and running toward his bag of tricks that Lexie knew contained his Spider-Man doodle pad and crayons. He lifted the two items, laid them on the coffee table, and looked around himself before he set to drawing.
“What are you going to draw?” she asked, watching him.
“Long Lake when we saileds on the boat.”
Lexie smiled, remembering what a wonderful day that had been. “That was fun, huh?”
Noah nodded. “The best.”
The phone ringing from its place on the wall had Lexie jumping from her seat. She picked up the receiver, heart in her mouth. “Hello?”
<
br /> “Lexie?” It was Joan.
“Hey. Everything okay?”
“Riley’s awake.”
· · ·
Joan and Dex were at the hospital when Lexie arrived. “Where’s Noah?” Joan asked.
“With my mom,” Lexie replied. “I thought it best to keep him away until we know what’s going on. I didn’t want him to be scared.” Joan nodded. “You’ve seen him?”
“All he did was ask for you and Noah.”
Lexie looked toward the doctor. “How long can I stay?”
Dr. Hunt smiled. “Take your time.”
Lexie smiled back gratefully and walked into Riley’s room. The heart monitor was still beeping in the corner of the room, but the scary tube that was in his chest the last time Lexie had seen him was now gone. The bandage around his head was smaller, and there were fewer wires stuck in him. He was asleep; his breaths through the oxygen mask on his face were deep and beautiful. Lexie walked toward the side of the bed and placed a gentle hand over his. She leaned over and kissed his forehead.
“I’m here,” she whispered.
Riley’s eyes moved under the lids, as Lexie continued to whisper secret words of love until, with one slow blink, they opened. Only a half centimeter, but they opened. They were crusty, tired, and confused, but they were beautiful.
“There you are,” she said softly as the backs of her fingers whispered down his face.
Riley looked at her through his lashes and tired eyes, and the side of his mouth twitched. Lexie grabbed his hand and squeezed. “I’m here.” She kissed his knuckles and placed his hand against her cheek. “I’m going to look after you. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
She felt him pull on her hand weakly, gesturing toward the oxygen mask. “Is it uncomfortable?” She gently tried to readjust the elastic straps that pressed against Riley’s face. “Wait a second,” Lexie muttered as she pulled the mask down to his chin, worrying immediately if Doc Hunt was about to barge in and go ballistic. “What is it?” she asked quickly. “Does something hurt? Do you want me to call the nurse?”