A Memory Away

by Taylor Lewis

  “Yeah?” Jonah swallowed the last of his mouthful and looked intently at Kyle for a moment before his face cleared in understanding. “Not a good place to grow up, huh?”

  Kyle smiled ruefully. “Oh it’s a great place to fit in if you’re the right kind.” He shrugged his slim shoulders and looked away causally, trying to hide how much the memory of Black Falls still burned four years after he’d managed to escape with Megan. “If you’re destined for an adolescence filled with swirlies and daily dumpster dives, not so much.”

  “Oh.” Jonah didn’t know what to say. “I was sorta a jock.”

  Laughing, Kyle looked back at him and shook his head. “Colour me surprised.”

  Jonah grinned at him, relieved to see him smiling again. “So I’m guessing you don’t go back there if you can help it?”

  “No.” Kyle picked up his mug and idly swirled the dregs of his tea around as he peered thoughtfully into the depths. “There’s just my dad there and we prefer it if he comes to see me and Shea here. It’s easier on him.”

  Jonah frowned again. “Easier?”

  “Black Falls is not exactly the most politically correct place on earth and I’m not exactly the most discreet of people.” Kyle smiled wanly. “When you add to that the existence of Shea....” He trailed off and then shrugged delicately. “Like I said, easier.”

  “Oh.” Jonah found himself at a loss for words yet again. “He’s not real accepting then?” He waved a hand between them. “You know; of you being how you are.”

  The whoop of genuine laughter from Kyle’s throat had not only Jonah staring in surprise but the rest of the deli too.

  “Are you joking?” Kyle almost doubled over with giggles. “My problem with going back to Black Falls to visit would be trying to stop my dad taking a tyre iron to anyone who looked at me and Shea sideways. In the interests of him not spending his twilight years locked up in the state pen for multiple homicides its better all-round if he comes to us, that’s all.”

  Jonah stared transfixed at Kyle’s face, amazed all over again how different he looked when he was relaxed and happy. He found himself smiling back. “So he’s a badass?”

  Kyle nodded, still giggling helplessly, and waved a hand over his head, presumably to indicate just how big his overly protective daddy was. “He’s a mechanic and built like the side of a barn.” His eyes sparkled with mirth when he looked at Jonah, “We don’t look much alike.”

  Unable to help himself, Jonah leered. “You look pretty okay to me.” The leer increased when Kyle’s eyes widened and he looked uncomfortably away so Jonah took pity on the other man and started to attack his strudel with extreme prejudice as he changed the subject. “So New York’s home now?”

  Kyle eyed him warily but seemed reassured that the brief lecherous moment had passed when Jonah blinked innocently at him and shovelled another mouthful of strudel into his mouth. “Yes, definitely. What about you? Have you always lived here?”

  Jonah chewed, swallowed and silently congratulated himself on being an awesome human being. This whole thing was in the bag.

  ~*~*~*~

  A few blocks away Gina Lopez sat in her car and watched as Megan walked briskly down the street towards her apartment block, carrying a bag of groceries and mouthing the words to whatever she was listening to on her iPod. Waiting until the other woman was safely inside the building, she grabbed the file sitting on the seat next to her that she had swung by the station to pick up after Lee had returned her call with the information she needed and hopped out of the car. She buzzed the Super to be let in as she was pretty sure that Megan would only do so over her cold dead body and, after flashing her ID, took the stairs up to the second floor and quickly located Megan’s apartment.

  The door opened almost immediately after her solid pounding and Megan stared at her for a moment before recognition dawned. “What do you want? I thought we were finished with you.”

  Lopez curled her lip. “Yeah, well, if wishes were horses, baby.” She stared with disgusted anger at Megan. “Jonah’s out with Gerritsen and there’s a little something I need to get cleared up.”

  Annoyance flashed in Megan’s dark eyes. “Business hours are nine till six. You want to get another statement come back then. I’m busy.” She grunted in annoyance when Lopez’s hand slapped against the door as she started to slam it closed. “What the hell is your problem?”

  “This.” Lopez reached into the folder she carried and pulled out a Xeroxed copy of Shea’s birth certificate. “This would be my problem.”

  Megan glanced at the paper and then blanched, eyes flashing back to Lopez with something akin to panic.

  “Yeah, that’s pretty much the look I was expecting.” Lopez put the paper back into the folder and fixed Megan with a hard stare. “Now you either you let me the fuck inside or I call my partner and start voicing some suspicions I got that I really don’t think your little friend wants brought up. What’s it going to be?”

  Megan swallowed heavily. “Look, detective, I don’t know what you think you know, but...”

  “Oh I think I know plenty, but what I need now are facts.” Lopez wedged her shoulder against the door just in case and hissed, “Trust me when I say the only thing saving your friend from getting his ass kicked at the moment is the chance – the very small chance – that you can give me some dates that fit in with the timeline I have in my head. So what’s it going to be? Am I calling my partner or are you going to quit fucking me around and let me inside?”

  The stupid thing was that she didn’t truly believe in what she had suspected until Megan’s shoulders sagged in defeat and she stepped back to open the door fully.

  “Son of a fucking bitch,” said Gina as she stormed in. “You had better have some fucking good booze in here.”

  ~*~*~*~

  Kyle was amazed to find that he was enjoying himself immensely. Jonah was proving to be a funny and interesting conventionalist – if a horribly messy eater – and if he overlooked the occasional lapse into lecherous innuendo then he could see that having Jonah as co-parent to Shea would actually be a very good thing. He’d tried to keep the conversation away from himself as much as he could – or if he couldn’t avoid it just tried to talk about his first year in New York or his business – and had managed to learn that Jonah had a mother and sister, had lived in NY all his life and thought he had possibly the best job in the entire world ever.

  “I mean, I get paid to chase down criminals and beat the crap out of them.” Jonah leaned on the table and grinned mischievously at Kyle’s disapproving expression. “How cool is that?” He twitched aside a fold of the black leather jacket he wore over his fitted t-shirt and proudly displayed his shoulder holster. “And they gave me a gun!”

  “Oh my God,” said Kyle faintly, “Please tell me you’re kidding.” He narrowed his eyes accusingly. “I thought you had to pass some kind of psychological test to be a cop? Did you cheat?”

  A shadow passed across Jonah’s face but before he could retort his name was called from over by the door. He turned in his seat and saw Danny Lee approaching them with a wide grin. “Goldman, I thought it was you.” He glanced at Kyle and then nodded down to his colleague. “What are you doing around here? I thought your place was across town?”

  “Yeah,” Jonah indicated Kyle. “Just meeting a friend for coffee.” Not liking the way Danny glanced at Kyle with an absent smile and then lingered, looking faintly puzzled, he didn’t bother offering an introduction. “What about you?”

  “Huh?” Danny looked away from Kyle and then back again with a frown. “I live just down the street. Thought I’d better get some groceries in before heading home. I’m sorry, have we met? You look really familiar.”

  Kyle looked up from where he had been politely studying his hands whilst the two friends talked and shook his head. “No I don’t think so.” He smiled vaguely. “I have a shop just round the corner, maybe you’ve seen me on the street?”

  “Yeah, maybe.” Danny, uncon
vinced, looked from Jonah to Kyle. “Don’t think that’s it.” He stared harder at Kyle, obviously searching his memory for where he had seen him before and making the younger man squirm uncomfortably in his seat.

  “Dude,” said Jonah in exasperation when Danny didn’t say anything else and continued to stare. “Sorta in the middle of something here.”

  “What? Oh. Right.” With one more searching look at Kyle, Danny shrugged off his curiosity and said comfortably, “It’ll come to me.” He clapped a hand to Jonah’s shoulder in farewell. “Catch you later, man.” He nodded at Kyle and then turned away to resume his shopping.

  Kyle watched him leave and then looked at Jonah. “I take it he’s a friend of yours?”

  Laughing Jonah said, “Only when I’m desperate. He works with me and Lopez and we hang out sometimes. Football and clubbing that kinda thing. Whoa, you okay?” He leapt up when Kyle choked on a sip of the fresh tea he had ordered and spat it all over the table. “Kyle?”

  Kyle waved him away, spluttering and eyes tearing up as he realised where Danny had recognised him from. “Fine!” He grabbed a napkin from the table and mopped at his face and shirt front. “I’m fine.” His eyes darted over to where Danny was chatting over the counter to Mrs Abretti as she weighed out some cheese and he forced a smile up at Jonah. “Sorry, I didn’t realise it was so late. I have to go.”

  “Okay?” Jonah said with a confused look. “You sure you’re alright?”

  Kyle didn’t dare look over at Danny to see if he was still watching them and instead stood up, gathering his bag up and slinging it onto his shoulder. “Yes, fine, honestly. I should really just get home.” He couldn’t believe his luck – what were the chances of the guy that hadn’t fucked him almost boneless recognising him instead of the one that had? He gestured to the door. “Do you want to walk back to our cars together?”

  “Yeah, sure.” Jonah laughed low in his throat as Kyle shoved past him and all but sprinted for the door. “I’ll say one thing for you, Gerritsen, you’re never boring.” His eyes dropped and fixed on the seat of Kyle’s pants and he shrugged to himself. “Okay, two things. You’ve got a great ass. Now all I’ve got to do is keep it in one place long enough to get my hands on it.”

  ~*~*~*~

  Jonah was sprawled comfortably on his sofa later that night clutching a beer and idly watching a repeat of an old football game on TV when his phone beeped indicating he had received a text. He rolled his head to the side and eyed his phone where it sat on the kitchen counter and considered leaving it till morning. He was warm, he was comfortable and he was half hard from further absent contemplation of Kyle’s ass and exactly what he was going to do to it when he got the other man where he wanted him. All he really wanted to do was finish his drink and jerk off before going to bed. He sipped at his beer and then sighed, getting to his feet resentfully before stalking across the room to snatch up the phone. This had better be good.

  You fucking HOUND! The text on his screen read. Thought you didn’t do repeat hook-ups? You sure he’s legal this time!?

  Jonah stared, confused, and then cleared the screen and hit his contacts list until Danny Lee’s name came up. “Lee, what the fuck are you talking about?”

  Twenty minutes later he was out the door and the bottle of beer was lying smashed on the kitchen floor, its contents dripping down the wall.

  ~*~*~*~

  Kyle nearly jumped out of his skin when pounding sounded against his front door. He had just been gathering up the last of Shea’s toys and tidying them away before heading up to bed and the noise sounded ridiculously loud in the silence of the otherwise sleeping house. He stared at the door for a hesitant moment and then all but leapt across the room when the pounding started again. He pressed his eye to the peep hole and jerked back in surprise when he saw Jonah on the other side. What on earth?

  “Gerritsen, I can fucking see your shadow blocking the light, so if you don’t want me kicking down your door and waking the whole damn street then you’re gonna get your ass out here.” Jonah’s voice growled ominously through the door. “I’m not fucking kidding here.” Kyle felt an ice cold shiver of pure fear go down his spine and his hands curled into claws where they still rested against the panel of the door. He snatched his hands away when Jonah punched the door on the other side. “Open this fucking door, you little bastard.”

  “Jonah,” Kyle had to swallow to lubricate his fear dry throat when his voice only emerged as a weak croak. “Jonah, it’s late....”

  “Now, Gerritsen, or I swear to God I’m kicking this door down in the next five seconds.” Jonah’s voice was harsh with rage and he seemed to have no problem in making himself heard. “One, two....”

  Kyle scrabbled for the latch, aware of Louise sleeping peacefully downstairs in her basement room and of Shea in his little room at the top of the stairs. “Alright, alright!” His fingers slipped on the catch on his first try and he had to wipe his hand off on his baggy sleep pants before he managed to get the door open. “Jonah, I....” He gave a shrill cry as one large fist closed on his t-shirt and yanked him out barefoot onto his little front stoop.

  Jonah ignored his captive struggling to free himself as he reached past Kyle to put the door on the latch and then pulled it closed. As soon as the door was shut he slammed Kyle painfully into the wall of the house and snarled, “Take your shirt off.”

  “Wh...what?” Kyle stared, terrified, up at Jonah. His normally handsome face was made ugly by the fury there and Kyle tried to bring his hands up to push against his chest and shove him away. “Stop it, what are you doing?” He cried out again when Jonah yanked him forward and then slammed him back in place against the wall. “You’re hurting me!”

  Actually shaking with rage, Jonah fisted both of his hands tighter in the loose cotton of Kyle’s t-shirt and pulled him up so high on his toes that he was in danger of leaving the floor altogether. “Take. Your. Fucking. Shirt. Off.”

  “No!” Kyle tried to twist away and gasped as Jonah allowed the movement and then kept pushing him until he was face forward against the wall with one arm twisted up behind his back. His eyes darted to the side when Jonah’s other hand slammed into the wall beside his head – complete with handcuffs dangling from his fingers.

  “We’re doing this with handcuffs or without them but we are fucking doing this.” Jonah pulled Kyle’s arm a little higher up his back, forcing him up onto his toes again to escape the pressure. “I’m going to let you go and you are going to fucking stay put and lift your damn shirt up or I promise you I am knocking you down and cuffing you so tight you won’t be able to fucking breathe, you got me?”

  “Ye..yes.” Kyle moaned in pain when his arm was yanked painfully again. “Yes, alright! I won’t move.” He started to shake when he was abruptly released and then jumped when the hem of his t-shirt was grabbed and yanked up without waiting for him to do it himself. He stayed still, shivering with reaction to the rough treatment and his fear of this new, terrifying Jonah. When the pad of one finger touched his birthmark almost gently his knees buckled and he sagged against the wall in understanding. Jonah’s friend had remembered him and said something to Jonah. His t-shirt dropped back into place and he felt Jonah step away from him, but he was too scared to turn around and face him. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed harder against the wall, his throat constricting with trapped sobs.

  “I thought I was losing my fucking mind.” Jonah stared at Kyle’s back as though he could still see through the cotton to the birthmark underneath. “I kept fucking dreaming of you every night and I thought I was losing my fucking mind.” He reached out and grabbed Kyle’s shoulder, pulling him around and holding him back against the wall when he tried to shy away. Catching his chin between thumb and forefinger he ordered, “Look at me. Look at me.” He waited until Kyle’s eyes opened to stare up at him fearfully and said harshly, “Did it happen? Do you remember me?”

  Kyle nodded as best he could in Jonah’s hard grip and blinked rapidly to cl
ear his eyes of scared tears.

  “Why the hell didn’t you say something?” Jonah was still shaking with anger, his fingers clutching and releasing against Kyle’s white skin. “Why did you act like you didn’t know me?”

  “I...I didn’t.” Kyle blinked again, wincing when Jonah’s grip tightened and the tears finally started to escape the corner of his eyes. “Not at first. Your hair was different then, not completely shaven like it is now and it was dark. Megan recognised you before I did and by the time you came into the office it was too late, I couldn’t avoid you.” He couldn’t help closing his eyes again as he whispered, “You didn’t recognise me either. Not any of the times you saw me since.

  Jonah jerked back and then scowled. “Yeah, you ever think there might be a reason for that?” He jerked Kyle’s chin again, saying furiously, “You open your eyes, dammit. You fucking look me in the eye for this.”

  Kyle made a helpless noise in his throat and obediently forced his eyes open. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry. I just....” His hands pressed futilely at Jonah’s immovable chest again. “I was scared. I’m sorry.”

  “What the fuck did you have to be scared of?” Jonah stared at him in angry bewilderment. “Did I do something you didn’t like? Hurt you?” He yanked Kyle’s chin up when he tried to twist his head away and made him keep looking into his eyes. “Gerritsen, what the fuck did I do to you that you were scared of me?”

  “Nothing,” Kyle gasped, trying to breathe through the tears clogging his throat and the frantic pounding of his heart. “You know you didn’t hurt me.” His shaking worsened as he tried to find the words to explain. “You didn’t hurt me, but I th...thought I’d never see you again and then you were there and....” He broke off, his voice failing him, mouthing pitifully, “I’m sorry.”