Guess Who I Pulled Last Night?

by Nikki Ashton

  “So, what’s the story with Kerry tonight, she had a face like the proverbial smacked one?” Stuart asked, shooting Bets a quick glance.

  “Oh I don’t know what to do about her. Charlotte, Kelvin and I have all tried to get her to see a doctor, but she just says that she’s bored. I’m sure her mood swings are not caused by boredom.”

  “What is it then?”

  Bets shrugged her shoulders. “We all think it could be post-natal, but trying to get Kerry to see that is very difficult.”

  “Maybe she does but doesn’t want to admit it. I suppose she feels like a failure.” Bets looked at Stuart quizzically. “Think about it,” he continued. “Having a baby is supposed to be the most natural thing in the world to a woman, but Kerry is finding it difficult, through no fault of her own, so she probably feels useless.”

  “I never thought of it like that. We need to do something though, before she cracks up totally. I’ll call Charlotte tomorrow, and we’ll definitely sort out to go and see Kelvin. Anyway, how has your day been?” Bets asked, as she placed her hand on Stuart’s knee.

  “Not bad, I’ve managed to get a contact in London that is selling some gym equipment fairly cheaply, so I’m going to go and meet him in the next couple of weeks. He’s going away on holiday this week, so once he gets back I should have some state-of-the-art gear at a good price.”

  “Hmm, very impressive, quite the entrepreneur, aren’t we?” Bets laughed.

  Stuart nodded proudly, “Oh yes. I've got a good business head.” Stuart laughed. “Anyway, what about you, how was your day?” He asked more seriously.

  “Good, I missed you though. Did you miss me?”

  “Goes without saying, I could have really done with a manicure. I caught a nail on the rowing machine today.” Stuart ducked, as Bets flicked a hand at him.

  “Just drop me off would you, I’m too tired for company tonight.”

  Stuart giggled, as he pulled into the car park, “Sorry, but Alfred misses me when I’m not there, I can’t let him down.”

  “Oh, okay, but you’ll have to sleep on the sofa, is that clear.”

  “If I must, but who will warm your feet up for you?”

  The next morning Bets was woken bright and early by something pushing hard against her back. She grinned lazily, stretching her arm out to feel for Stuart, behind her.

  “Morning, I see you sneaked into my bed then?” she asked turning around to his bright shining smile.

  “Hmm, one glass of wine and you’re anybody’s. It's shameful.” He kissed her gently on the lips, stroking her face tenderly.

  “So what have you got planned for today then, or are you working?”

  “Well first I thought we could do some exercise, and then I thought that we could bunk off for the day, what do you think?” He kissed Bets again, this time for longer.

  She pulled away, somewhat unwillingly. “I can’t bunk off on a Saturday; it's one of our busiest days.”

  “Ah, but you can; I arranged it yesterday with Cheryl. She did some rearranging, and she and Jane are sharing the rest of your clients, so problem solved.”

  “That’s great, but do you know how guilty I would feel spending all day in bed, plus I need to call Charlotte about Kerry?” Bets said, snuggling up to Stuart’s chest, and growing erection.

  “Who said anything about all day in bed? I admit that first we need to get rid of some pent-up energy, but I have other plans.”

  “Oh, you do, do you?”

  “Oh yes indeed my dear, I do,” he cried throwing the duvet over their heads.

  Over on the other side of town Kerry, Kelvin and Esme were eating breakfast, very little sound coming from any of them, except the occasional baby talk, and squeals of delight from Esme. As Kerry nibbled at her toast, she eyed Kelvin warily, conscious of the fact that they hadn’t really spoken since the last night’s bedding fiasco. She watched as he furrowed his brow, concerned about something that he was reading on the back pages from the newspaper, and suddenly she was consumed by love for him. Her heart was full of him, his kindness, his thoughtfulness and most of all his love her. She wanted to hold him close and say sorry for how she had been behaving over the last few weeks; she longed to smell him and feel his body against hers. Slowly, Kerry got up from her stool and moved towards him, holding in her breath, in case she frightened him away, standing behind him, she wrapped her arms around Kelvin’s upper body, squeezed him tight and kissed the back of his head.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, still afraid that he would get up, and walk away.

  Kelvin turned his head around, his eyes smiling. “It’s okay; I just can’t believe we haven’t been speaking over a pair of bloody pillows.”

  As Kerry dropped her arms, Kelvin swung round on his stool, and putting his arms around Kerry’s waist, pulled her towards him.

  “I know, but it seemed important at the time. I don’t understand why I’ve been such a bitch recently. I think the boredom is kicking in, and I’m taking it out on you,” she sighed, picking at the shoulder of Kelvin’s jumper.

  “I don’t see how being bored can get someone like this though Kerry. Are you sure it’s just that, is there something that you’re not telling me?” Kelvin reached up and brushed the hair from her face.

  “Like what?”

  “Well, do you still want to be with me, or is there someone else?” Kelvin’s voice faltered, almost afraid to say the words.

  Kerry tried to pull away from him, but his hands gripped tightly together at the bottom of her back. “Don’t be so silly, of course there is no one else, I love you,” she cried.

  “Well unfortunately you haven’t really been showing that just recently. I can’t remember the last time we made love, let alone have a kiss or cuddle.” This time Kerry could free herself.

  “God, is that all you think about, sex?”

  “No, but it does make me feel closer to you, something I haven’t felt for a while.”

  Oh grow up Kelvin, you’re an adult, Esme needs my attention, not you.” Kerry started to clear away the dishes from the breakfast table, slamming and banging around as she did so.

  “That’s just it Kerry; I do need your attention, just as you need mine, but you won’t let me near you, and I don’t mean sexually. You won’t let me in there!” Kelvin pointed a finger at Kerry’s head.

  “God, you are pathetic, what do you want me to do, lie back and think of England?”

  “Cheers Kerry, that really makes me feel wanted. If you must know, no I don’t. I want you to talk to me, tell me what’s wrong.” Kelvin picked Esme out of her high chair and cuddled her to him as she played with his nose.

  “I’ve told you,” Kerry hissed, lowering her voice realising the effect their arguing must be having on Esme, “there is nothing wrong, so just leave me alone.”

  “Fine I will. I'll go out with Esme and leave you here to think about what’s really bothering you.” The banging of the kitchen door signalling Kelvin’s exit.

  Kerry picked up the dishcloth and threw it at the door, sobbing as she did so. She leaned against the fridge and slid down to the floor. Her knees hunched up to her chest. She lowered her head against them, the coolness of her jeans soothing her pounding head.

  “Please just let this feeling be over, please, please, please,” she sobbed, rocking backwards and forwards.

  Kerry must have been sat for almost an hour when the doorbell rang, at first she thought about ignoring it, but by the third ring whoever that was on the other side was getting a little insistent. Slowly, she pulled herself up and wiped her face on the tea towel that was on the end of the table, before going down the hall to open the door. Kerry didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when she saw that it was Charlotte. She was glad it wasn’t Kelvin, forgotten his key, back for round two, but she knew she would probably be about to face another barrage of questions from Charlotte.

  “You look attractive I must say,” announced Charlotte, pushing her way into the house. Kerry
followed her into the lounge.

  “Hello to you too, so what do I owe the honour?” she asked, flouncing down onto the sofa.

  “Sorry, didn’t realise that I needed an invitation.” Charlotte sighed and sat next to her friend.

  “You don’t, want a cup of tea?”

  Charlotte shook her head. “No, but I would like to know how you are feeling? You seemed particularly fed up at the pub last night, you barely said two words once Stuart arrived. Did it upset you with him being there? Have Bets or I upset you; or has Kelvin?

  “No, although I don’t think Kelvin, and I are on the best of terms at the moment, but no; none of you have upset me. However, what’s the point in me saying that or anything else because you all obviously think something different, you all seem to think I’m ill no matter what I say.” Kerry turned her head away, not wanting Charlotte to see the tears starting to brim against her eyelashes.

  “Well you are certainly not yourself, and haven’t been for a while, and whether you want to admit it or not it coincides with you having Esme, or not long after anyway.” Charlotte turned Kerry’s head back to her with a finger beneath her chin. “So tell me truthfully, do you feel depressed or are you still going to keep up this pretence that you are just bored and tired.”

  Kerry ran a hand through her hair before rubbing her tear-stained face. “No I do not feel depressed, and yes I am bored, bored with you lot trying to analyse me and putting me down as a nutter. I have a baby, so it’s no wonder I’m tired. Babies don’t always sleep all night you know. They have things like teething, which keeps them awake, and they need constant attention. I also have a husband who is acting like a child because he hasn’t had his leg over for a while, and two best friends who insist on treating me like an invalid, so yes I’m pissed off! Does that explain everything to you?” Kerry now stood up, afraid that Charlotte would hear her heart thumping loudly in her chest.

  “Okay, okay, calm down I don’t want to upset you, but we are all worried about you.” Charlotte stood up too and placed a comforting hand on Kerry’s shoulder.

  “I know you are,” Kerry whispered, the thudding subsiding. “But I’m fine. I promise you.” She caught hold of Charlotte’s hand and squeezed it tightly, begging her to believe her.

  “Okay, I’ll drop the subject, for now, but promise me if things start to get too much you let one of us know, promise me.” Charlotte leaned forward and rested her head against Kerry’s.

  Kerry nodded slowly. “I promise, now do you want that cup of tea?”

  “Go on then, but I promised Tom that I’d call and see him at the shop.”

  As she left the room, Kerry heaved a sigh of relief, grateful for some peace at last.

  “Stuart, this is wonderful,” gasped Bets, as she tucked into her chicken salad. Stuart had driven them out to the country, with a full picnic packed into the boot of his car. “You do know that champagne makes me very randy don’t you?” Bets giggled as she picked up her glass.

  “That was the plan, although after this morning, I’m not sure that I could manage to fulfil your every need.” Stuart leaned over and kissed her tenderly on the lips, the taste of champagne brushing against his own.

  “So, do you do this for all your girlfriends?” Bets asked, as she put down her half eaten salad, and snuggled closer to him.

  “No, I don’t, only the special ones. Are you cold, shall I get a blanket out of the car?”

  Bets started to giggle again. “You really have come prepared, no, I’m fine,” she replied, pulling her padded coat closer around her. “This place is gorgeous, where did you find it?” She asked, looking around at the rolling hills covered in beautiful lilac heather.

  Bets closed her eyes, and throwing her head back, took a deep breath. The air was cool and fresh, like stepping into a stream, and she felt relaxed and refreshed.

  “I used to come here as a kid with my parents, and my sister, although we hated it then. Emma and I thought it was boring, you know no telly, just fresh air and country smell."

  “I bet it was wonderful. My parents never did anything like that with me. They just took me to the market every Saturday to buy cheese. It was kind of a ritual. We would go to the same stall every week, and the lady behind the counter would offer me a piece to try, then Dad would say, “We’ll have whatever Elizabeth likes.” I knew that they never did, they always bought a little piece for me, but usually the huge chunk was Stilton. I’ll never forget the smell of those Saturdays at the market, a mixture of raw meat and cheese; it was kind of comforting in a funny sort of way. When I smelt it, I knew I was always safe because dad was with me.”

  A tear glistened in Bets' eye as she recalled her father, a large man with steel grey hair. Even when Bets was a small child, and he was a fairly youthful man, his hair had been grey, and as Bets remembered, slicked back with Brylcream all the time. As she turned Stuart’s hand over in her own, she recalled that her dad’s hands had been very big, all calloused from his work on diesel train engines, seemingly sizable enough to carry anything in them.

  “I think that’s just as good as coming here, if not better,” whispered Stuart. “So what were they like, your parents?” he asked, gently kissing the top of Bet’s head.

  She smiled, “Lovely, both were, although I got on better with my dad. They were quite old when they had me, well at least those days they were; Mum was thirty-nine and Dad forty-four, he spoiled me rotten, but was always honest with me. Whereas Mum, well my mum was the pacifier, the one who told me what I wanted to hear. Nevertheless, I loved them both dearly, and although I don’t say it very often I really miss them.” She shook her head to try to stop the sobs growing inside her throat. “Anyway, what about you, what are your family like?” Bets quickly changed the subject.

  “Normal really, my sister is great. She holds us all together, you know organising family dinners and arranging for my dad to apologise to me or Mum for something a little too honest that he’s said. My mum is wonderful, and Dad, but Mum is special, mainly because I’m her little soldier.”

  Bets laughed and ruffled Stuart’s dark hair, making it messier than it already was. “Ah, are you a mummy’s boy then?”

  Stuart nodded. “Of course, aren’t all boys?”

  “I don’t know, not having had a brother. I will have to take your word for it.”

  “Was it strange not having brothers and sisters then?”

  “Not really, what you haven’t had you don’t miss. I suppose the only time I missed it was when my parents died. I needed someone else to take the burden of pain, particularly when Mum died. When Dad went, I still had Mum, but even she didn’t know how I felt. He was my dad. She could only feel what it was like to lose her husband, so I’m afraid it wasn’t one of the best times in our relationship, does that make sense?” Stuart nodded. "I know it sounds odd, but I would have liked to have someone else feel as sad as I did, both times.”

  Stuart hugged her tightly. “Well that’s all over now, and I’m going to try to make sure that you never feel sad again.”

  Bets kissed him tenderly, sure that he was right, but still not really wanting to believe it.

  Chapter 10

  It was a bitterly cold morning, and Kerry had begun to wish that she’d stayed in her nice warm bed. When she had woken at 6 am, she was shocked to find her arm draped over Kelvin’s sleeping body; the most contact they’d had in a long time; it had alarmed her how strange it felt. She quickly got out of bed and mumbled where she was going to a drowsy Kelvin as she hurriedly got dressed.

  As she crunched down the cemetery path she marvelled at the stillness of the morning. It was still only 7 am and not a sound could be heard, except for her footsteps, tranquillity and Kerry felt peaceful and calm.

  She didn’t really know why she had decided to visit her dad’s grave, it wasn’t an anniversary or anything. She just felt the need to be close to him, to talk to him. He had always understood his youngest child. Kerry reached the spot where her father was bu
ried, and sighed deeply. She spread her fingers across the gold words that were etched on the black marble gravestone. How true they were, 'a devoted husband, father and grandfather truly loved and missed by all that knew him'. She had lost count of the number of people who told her what a good man he was, and how much they missed hi. They didn’t need to tell her, she knew. Kerry bent down and pulled at some stray weeds that had dared to invade the pristine plot, and brushed away some fallen leaves, before kneeling down on the damp grass and closing her eyes.

  “Oh Dad, I wish you were here, you’d know what to do with me,” she sighed now looking at ground. “No one seems to have a clue, they all just keep moaning on at me. I know that Kelvin has made at least one furtive phone call to Charlotte about me, and as for Mum, well she’s made it fairly obvious that she agrees with everyone else. They all think I’ve got some sort of depression. They don’t know anything about me. They all think they do, but they don’t.” Kerry paused, looking around her, to make sure that her inner most thoughts would stay between her and her dad.

  “Having Esme is the best thing that has happened to me, all I’ve ever wanted was to be a good wife and mother, and now they are saying I’m not being. Kelvin is moaning about me being a rubbish wife, well he hasn’t actually said those words, but I know that’s what he thinks. How do they think I feel when they keep asking me to see a doctor, it’s as though I’m crazy or something? I'm waiting for one of them to offer to have Esme for a couple of days, and then I’ll really go for them.” The words, a mass of contradiction, were tumbling out now, gathering momentum like rocks falling down a mountain. “You would have loved Esme; she looks a bit like you, except that she’s got Kelvin’s nose. He doesn’t like me spending so much money either, he keeps saying that we need to cut back, huh, another black mark against me. Plus he doesn’t like the company I’m keeping, not Charlotte or Bets, Caroline the young girl from across the road. I don't know how we got friendly, but it’s good to be with someone who doesn’t judge me, or tell me how I should be behaving. I can't wait to get back to my job; I’m so bored it’s unbelievable. I don’t want to leave Esme; the thought of it makes me feel sick; I'd like a new job really, but I don’t know what.”