by Morgan Fox
She glared at him, blinking through the fog in her mind. “Excuse me? That is so not what I said.”
He leaned his balled fists against the edge of the bar and narrowed his eyes on her. The menacing stare left her feeling like she’d done something wrong. “Sure it is. You’re so damn worried about losing everything that you can’t even see how this isn’t helping.” He paused, her mouth hanging open. “And since when do four beers get you drunk?”
“Seven,” she corrected. “I had three before sitting down.”
He shook his head, rubbing his face with a stiff hand. “Look, Sam, we don’t know what Daniel’s doing and you can’t go jumping to conclusions like this. Drinking yourself into a stupor is the dumbest thing you could’ve done to yourself.”
“No,” she snapped. “Falling in love with Daniel was the dumbest thing I’ve done. I can’t believe I trusted he wouldn’t hurt me again. I can’t believe I thought he’d changed.”
Jason reached over to take her hand, but she yanked it away. He looked at her with sympathy in his eyes. “You don’t know if that’s true. You haven’t even spoken with him yet.”
“Like last time?” she asked, reminding him that Daniel hadn’t bothered to call her at all after he’d left for the military. “Am I supposed to think anything else at this point?”
Jason’s phone rang, stopping him from answering. “Where’s your phone?” he asked.
“I threw it away,” she replied, her eyes batting closed before her head hit the bar again.
The last thing she remembered hearing was Jason telling her, “Well, that’s a sure way for Daniel to be able to call you back.”
* * * *
“Where the hell are you?”
Daniel was surprised by Jason’s harsh tone. “Why? What’s wrong? Have you heard from Sam?”
“Um, yep. She’s up at Iron Horse. Drunk and passed out.”
He gripped the phone tighter. “Why would she do that?”
“I don’t know, dumb ass,” Jason said. “Why don’t you tell me?”
Daniel looked around Sam’s house, confused and caught off guard. “I haven’t seen her since this morning. And when I got back to her place she was gone. I’ve been calling her like crazy, but she’s not picking up.”
“That’s because she thinks you left her again.”
Daniel’s heart ceased to beat. “Why would she think that?”
“I’d ask her, but she’s—” He stopped his thought midstream and instead asked, “Can you imagine what she’s going through? Where the hell have you been that you couldn’t pick up your goddamn phone or tell her where you were going first? She’s destroyed and it’s your damn fault.”
He swallowed the bile that raced up from his stomach. Shame washed over him. Again he was hurting the ones he cared for most and he hadn’t realized he was doing it.
“I had no idea this would happen.”
Jason laughed, the guttural sound stirring him. “That’s because you weren’t there to see her fall apart the first time, Daniel. You were halfway around the world. You didn’t get to see her heartbreak over losing you. You didn’t get to see her try to forget you, never really being able to do it for I don’t fucking know the reason. You didn’t deserve Sam.” His voice dipped low as he added, “You’ll never know what your walking away did to either of us.”
Daniel closed his eyes, sinking down on the edge of Sam’s bed. The note that he’d left on his pillow for her was lying on the floor between the nightstand and bed. She’d never seen it. He couldn’t breathe.
“I’m coming to get her.”
“No,” Jason barked. “You’ve done enough. Give her a chance to clear her head. I won’t have you messing with her anymore.”
“But—”
“For once in your life, Daniel, think of someone else besides yourself.”
Jason hung up the phone, leaving Daniel with his troubling thoughts. He wished he could’ve argued with Jason, but he couldn’t. His brother was right. Even as he’d told himself he was the man he should’ve been for Sam, he wasn’t. If he was, he would’ve realized that she would’ve loved him regardless of how much of a mess he was mentally. She’d stand beside him. Why he hadn’t considered that until now was beyond him.
For hours, he sat on her bed, staring at the walls. He figured he’d need to leave soon since he was sure she wouldn’t want him at her place when she got there. But he couldn’t seem to make himself go. Leaving her had been the last thing he wanted to do. But it was his fault this had happened. How could he have expected her to trust him when he’d never fully shared the truth? She was right to be angry with him. She was right not to believe in him.
Blinking away the emotions that filled his eyes and heart, he stood up, taking one final glance around the room before heading out. He prayed it wasn’t the last time he’d get a chance to spend time here, to be with her.
One thing was for sure, he had to fix the mess he made. He had to come up with a solution to his jacked-up problem. He needed to find a way to get Sam back for good and just like that, a plan formed. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he dialed Luke Mackenzie’s number and prayed he wouldn’t object to helping Daniel save the best thing that ever happened to him.
Chapter Eleven
A few days later, Sam woke to a knock on her door. She glanced at the clock and prayed it was a joke. She hadn’t wanted company and hated that she was getting some. She covered her head with the blanket, hoping that they would just go away.
Then her phone rang and the ring tone was that of the Judd’s, which meant the person calling her was Layla, likely the same person who was banging on her front door. Grumbling a slew of profanities, Sam tossed the covers off her body and pounded her feet toward the front door. Flinging it open, she pierced Layla with a fierce look. “It’s annoying that you’re here so early.”
Layla smiled, stepping around her and heading right for the kitchen. Her arms were full of groceries and party favors. “Love you, too, honey. Is my sister here yet?”
“No, thank God. I couldn’t handle two of you at the moment.”
Layla laughed dismissively. “You’d better go get dressed. I’ll get some coffee on for you. Everyone will be here shortly.”
“Great,” she said, the word rolling out as if she were eating nails.
Sam took her time. She made her bed, then showered and dressed, putting on her bikini and jean shorts. Layla had asked her to throw a beginning of summer pool party. Being a farm girl from Kentucky, she’d never experienced one of those and had used guilt, telling her that she’d never even been in a pool and she missed being with everyone. She even had tears in her eyes. Sam groaned, hating how Layla was able to manipulate her so easily. Secretly, she welcomed a chance to see everyone outside of work. She only wished the timing had been better.
When she reemerged from her room, her entire home had been transformed into a tropical oasis. Each table possessed a new arrangement of red roses and stargazers, adding to the ones she already had decorating the room, thanks to Daniel. Both end tables and the coffee, dining, and kitchen tables had fresh flowers and candles on them. The sight had her remembering the last night she’d spent with Daniel.
“Hey,” Brynn called out to her, pulling her out of her wandering thoughts. “Are you gonna help or just stand there and drool?”
Sam felt the groove between her eyes deepen. “Who did all this?” she asked, unable to keep from wondering if Daniel had received an invitation and she hadn’t known about it.
“Duh, we all did. All those flowers at the bar were starting to give me a headache. I figured you’d like them better here than giving me a reason to call in sick.”
She appreciated Brynn’s playful tactic and said, “Thanks,” sounding more sarcastic than she’d intended.
She stalked over to the refrigerator, opened the door, and grabbed a beer. She heard the sound of voices coming from her patio area, but she didn’t see anyone except Brynn. Even with the sound of hap
py voices, she couldn’t seem to shake the need to run to her room and crawl back into bed.
“Is everyone outside?” Sam finally asked.
“Everyone but Layla’s mysterious twin,” Brynn told her. “Are you sure Liza even exists?”
She grinned. Her dear friend had gotten caught up in the lifestyle of a workaholic. Shit, she couldn’t even remember the last time they’d hung out or seen each other. They’d been friends since their summer camp days. Some of the best memories were spent getting to know Liza. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
“Sam?” Layla asked, hugging on the door frame as she leaned inside from the back door. “Where’s a lighter for the grill?”
She furrowed her brow. “I own a grill?” she teased with a softening look at Brynn. Then she moved to the drawer beside the kitchen sink and pulled out a long red lighter. “Here you go.”
“You gonna come out here and visit with your guests or hide in the kitchen all day sulking over the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s?” Layla might have been small and sweet, but she had balls. Big ones.
“I like my kitchen.”
Brynn huffed. “Clearly. But the hot shirtless men are in the backyard and you don’t have to be fucking them to appreciate the view.”
Sam’s jaw fell open. No matter how often she’d been exposed to Brynn’s directness, sometimes the shit that flew out of her mouth still took her by surprise. “Seriously? You have zero filter.”
Brynn laughed, leaving her to go join the others outside. Sam blew out a tiresome breath and inhaled a fresh gulp for mental strength. Everyone visiting was here for a good time, not to watch her wallow away in self-pity.
I can do this. She repeated those words in her head over and over until she thought for one moment that they were actually true. Then she took her first step out the back door and wanted to throttle each of them for ambushing her.
* * * *
“Before you toss something at my head, please hear me out.” Daniel’s voice shook a little as he prepared to beg if necessary. Sam’s seething glare was enough to make those around him step backward. Before he realized it, he was standing alone.
Sam stared from face to face, the tint in her cheeks reddening. “Please don’t be angry with your friends. I would’ve held them hostage for a chance to talk with you again.”
“Why?” she barked, her fist clenching at her sides. “So you can make a fool out of me again?”
“No,” he said adamantly.
But she clearly hadn’t wanted him to respond as she asked, “Why bother with any of this? Aren’t you done mucking up my life and tearing apart my heart?” Her voice quivered. “Haven’t you done enough to me already?”
His spine went ramrod straight as he told her, “No. I haven’t done enough.”
She threw the bottle at him, but he caught it. His eyes swelled as he registered just how pissed at him she was.
“Hey,” Luke said in warning.
“Ah, shut the hell up,” Sam cursed. “If you don’t like it, you can leave. You all can leave.”
Daniel raised his hand and placed the bottle down on the table beside him. “No. No. I don’t want anyone to go anywhere.”
She pierced him with a hard look. “What, you want to do this now? Hash out our shit in front of everyone?”
He swallowed down the dry grittiness that filled his mouth. “Yes. I don’t want any more secrets. This is your family and they need to be here for this.”
She stepped toward him, harsh laughter rolling from her throat. “Fine. Why don’t you start by telling everyone what a prick you are? How amazingly sweet it was to wake up to find you gone. Once again abandoned without a word.”
He nodded, pulling the folded piece of paper from his back pocket. He handed it to Layla. “Would you please read that for everyone?”
She took the paper from him and read it out loud. “Sammy, I didn’t want to wake you but I’ve got an appointment that I can’t…won’t cancel. It’s too important to ignore. I have so much to tell you and I can’t wait to see you when I get home. I hope you’re still in bed. I’ve got plans for us.”
“I left that note on my pillow the morning I went to see my psychiatrist.”
Sam’s expression shifted, as if trying to read the truth in his words. “You’ve been seeing a psychiatrist.”
“Twice a week since the first night we”—he glanced around, suddenly feeling as if he wasn’t wearing any clothing—“were together.”
She pinched the bridge of her nose with her forefinger and thumb. “Wait a damn second. Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”
Nervousness rattled him, but there was no turning back. “I was ashamed to tell anyone I was so screwed up I couldn’t shake the nightmares without help. I watched others like me lose everything because the people in their lives thought they were going to become violent and strike out against them. I couldn’t risk that happening to us. I couldn’t risk losing you. Admitting I was—” He hesitated. “What big, bad-ass man needs to talk to someone about his feelings? Let’s face it, babe, I’d already had a mountain of insecurities before I’d even joined the military. Getting shot just made it worse.”
She scoffed. “That’s just stupid,” she said, curling her lip. “Not telling me you needed help—have you even told him?” She gestured to Jason, who was frowning.
Shaking his head, Daniel explained, “I’ve told no one. I had planned to talk with you about it the day you assumed I’d left again.” He paused. “Which couldn’t be further from what I actually want, by the way.”
She glanced down at the ground. He couldn’t read the thoughts blazing through her mind. He had so much he needed to tell her, so much he wanted to say. In an instant, the words began rushing out. “Sammy, I’m in love with you.”
Her eyes darted to lock with his. For a moment, he saw a glimmer of hope, but she blinked it away. “I wish that were enough.”
“It’s the foundation,” he reminded her. “I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember, the girl who’d strip herself bare to give me a glimpse of heaven. You have been the miracle I’ve been waiting for, a spark of hope that would give me the strength to get my shit together.” He stepped toward her, only a few inches separating them. “I’d give my life for you. I never want to be without you. So, if you truly wish me gone then you’ll have to throw me out because as far as I’m concerned I’m never leaving again.”
She scowled. “Fine. Then I will.”
Before she could turn away from him fully, he pulled her back toward him, wrapped her in his arms, and kissed her. At first she struggled, but the act was over within a breath. She was pliant against him, languid against him. Her arms tightened around him as he held her. He needed her, wanted her. Forever.
Parting his lips from hers slightly, he whispered, “Please don’t leave me, Sammy. You are the calm in my storm, sweetheart. That’s what you are. How could I ever function in this life without you by my side?” He kissed her again, a breathy moan parting from her throat. “Marry me, Sammy. Marry me and make us a forever.”
She sucked in a breath, her eyes as wide as saucers. “What?”
“Right here. Right now. Marry me.”
She glanced around them, all the faces of her friends within sight. All of them knew what he’d planned. He’d only had to tell them just how much he’d loved Sam for them to be on board with him. They’d loved her, too, and knew just how stubborn she could be.
“Right now? Are you serious?”
Jason moved close. “I know he’s an ass, Sam, but he’s a genuine ass.”
Snickers shot up around them. “Thanks,” Daniel muttered, rolling his eyes at his brother’s way with words. Then he looked at Sam once again. “I’ve had a ring burning a hole in my pocket for seven years. The only finger I’ve ever wanted it on was yours.”
Sam put her hands up to her head, holding it as if it were about to explode. “I think I need to sit down.”
Layla came up to help her. Daniel neve
r left her side. “This is all a bit much. I don’t even know if I’m done being pissed at you.”
Daniel grinned. “I’m sure there are a million and one things I’m going to do over the next eighty years that are gonna flip your lid, but this”—he gestured to the space between them—“is something worth fighting for. I love you more than I ever imagined possible. My life was shit without you. You’ve made me a better man.”
She closed her eyes for a moment, and opened them as if for the first time. “I love you, too,” she confessed. “I always have.”
He bit down on his lip to keep the smile from emerging until he was sure it was safe to show it. “So you’ll marry me?”
Glancing over to both Luke and Reid, she asked him, “Are you going to become a cop?”
“Would you be okay with that?” She turned her gaze to both Layla and Brynn, who were smiling at her. They were also holding onto Luke and Reid with the same kind of passion he’d seen in her when she’d held him. “They seem to be okay with their decision to love a cop,” he pointed out.
She moistened her lips, placing his fingers to her lips. “I’ll support you no matter what. Even if I’m not exactly thrilled with the danger you’ll face.”
He pulled her in his arms and as she held him back, their friends and family cheered for them. His heart swelled with so much joy, it almost blinded him. Again he repeated, “Will you marry me, Samantha Murphy? Will you be mine forever?”
She held his face in her hands, her eyes glistening with tears. “Yes. I will.”
Chapter Twelve
Sam didn’t think her heart and brain could handle much more of the emotional rollercoaster she’d been forced to ride. Missing Daniel, fearing she’d lost him only to realize she’d made a terrible assumption, and then discovering that he was in love with her and wanted to marry him—
Her head whirled.
He’d had a ring. He wanted me … always had.
She sighed as her gaze settled on him. They never really were the couple that took the easy way. They’d proven that time and again. Besides, who would want that when the ups and downs made it so much more exciting, with never a dull moment? Discovering what you really want and fighting for it, left no room from second guessing.