Hopeless Magic (The Star-Crossed Series)

by Rachel Higginson

  "We're alright though? Aren't we Eden?" he pressed, clearly not giving up.

  "Yes, yes, yes,"I said in a rush, wanting to physically push him away. "We are fine," I forced the words out.

  "Good," Sebastian looked visibly relieved. "Then do you mind if I ask you a question?" when I shook my head, he continued, "How is it, that you a girl, who has only known she has magical powers for a few months, was able to defeat a member of my personal guard?"

  And there it was. At least he was finally being up front about it.

  "Do you really want to know?" I had actually had this answer planned since last night. I assumed this question would be asked of me at some point and so I decided from the beginning I would tell the truth.

  "Yes, of course," Sebastian narrowed his eyes, but I could see the light behind them; he could barely contain his excitement.

  "The truth is, all guys are the same, Immortal, human or animal. You are all the same. Even a human girl can figure this much out," I was standing close to Sebastian, so when I told him the truth, it took no effort at all. I thrusted my knee upwards as quickly and forcefully as I could, using only human strength, but hit my target with success. I watched Sebastian drop to the ground, grab his groin and grasp for breath.

  "What is that about?" Avalon could barely contain his laughter as he approached his truck.

  "Finally," I groaned loudly. I stepped over Sebastian and walked around to the passenger's side door.

  Avalon was still snickering while he climbed into the cab and started the engine. As we drove away Sebastian had recovered somewhat and was in an awkward half-standing position. He waved brashly at me and all I could do was shake my head.

  "Do you want to go to the farm tonight?" Avalon asked me as we pulled into the driveway, several minutes later, although I was pretty sure he already knew the answer.

  "Can I see Lilly?" I also already knew the answer.

  "No, not yet," he responded, turning off the engine and jumping down from the driver's seat. Since we were officially at home now, Avalon ripped out his pony tail holder and let his shoulder length black waves free.

  "Then, no," I said curtly, doing the same with my impossibly long and tangled midnight black hair.

  "Eden, that's not fair," he whined and I got a glimpse into what a childhood would have been like growing up together.

  We entered the house and noticed Jericho sitting on the couch looking bored. He was wearing a gray, long sleeved t-shirt and black, athletic shorts, bouncing one of his knees rapidly while chewing anxiously on his finger nails. When we walked in he gave me a half smile, and watched me walk around the room, never taking his eyes off of me. His demeanor told me he was nervous about something, but I didn't have time to ask him.

  "Eden, focus," Avalon called my attention back to him. "If you don't go, I can't go. And I want to go," Avalon whined some more.

  "I don't care if you go," I said simply and it was the truth. Avalon would be safe at the farmhouse.

  "I'm not worried about myself," he responded to my thought out loud, although I didn't actually voice my concern to him. "I'm worried about you; I'm not going to leave you alone here."

  "I won't be alone, Jericho is here," I plopped down on the oversized couch next to him to accentuate my point, but the soft cushions pulled me closer to him than I had intended. Our bodies sat sidled next to each other deep in the expansiveness of the soft couch.

  "That's right," Jericho slapped my knee casually, but I felt his magic flare next to me.

  "I can't go without you Eden. You don't get it. I have to stay with you at all times," Avalon spoke slower, as if I were not understanding him.

  "I don't want to go, Avalon, so deal with it," I spoke even slower, irritated that we even had to have this conversation. He should just be able to know the outcome already thanks to our twin connection.

  "I was hoping you wouldn't be so selfish," he once again answered more than my words. I gave him a dirty, but stubborn look in response. "You're such a baby." Avalon huffed before taking the steps two at a time into his bedroom.

  "Who's the baby?" I mumbled, and listened to Avalon slam the door shut both to his room and to our telepathic connection.

  I reached for my ear instinctively and accidentally clipped Jericho in the nose with my elbow.

  "Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!" I gasped as he grabbed for his face. "I am so, so, so sorry!" I laid my palms gently on either side of his face, feeling like the biggest klutz ever.

  "It's ok," Jericho grunted through muffled hands. "Really, I'm fine," he pulled his hands away from his face and placed them sweetly on the tops of mine. He held my hands to his face while gazing into my eyes and I stared back mesmerized for a moment. His soft hazel eyes were compelling and he searched mine as if looking for the answer to a question he hadn't asked yet.

  "I'm really sorry," I said again quietly.

  "Eden, really, I'm fine," he broke into a smile I found absolutely charming, his perfect teeth glistened and I noticed one dimple to the side of his soft lips for the first time. My hands were still placed against his face, with his hands on mine. His magic soared and for the first time I realized that he may have real feelings for me.

  I coughed nervously and looked away from his piercing gaze. "I should um, I should change out of my uniform," I mumbled, attempting to pull my hands away from his.

  Jericho slid his hands from mine to my face so that we both sat there caressing each other's cheeks. I realized I should stand up, but the couch was deep and I was finding it hard to move. Jericho leaned in slowly and I willed myself to move, but I felt captivated and I hated myself for it. His soft lips brushed mine and a sickening feeling erupted in my stomach. He hadn't kissed me yet, but he was going to.

  "I can't," I blurted out, ruining the moment.

  Jericho's hands dropped from my face and he was several feet away in milliseconds.

  "Oh, I'm so stupid," he sighed, frustrated. He stood near the fireplace, and bent over, running his hands through his hair.

  "No, it's not you, you're not stupid," I stood up as well, with the desire to go to him, to comfort him, but I knew better and so I stood awkwardly on the other side of the room. "I'm the stupid one. I'm so sorry."

  "You know what?" Jericho stood up straight to look me in the eye. "You're right. You are the stupid one," his tone was biting and I took a visible step back, hurt by his words. "Kiran Kendrick? Really? Eden, it's impossible, it doesn't even make sense," I opened my mouth to respond, struck by his honesty, and hurt by his words, but he didn't let me get a word out. "He's going to use you and then kill you. Do you understand that? He doesn't have feelings for you. He's not even capable of having feelings for anyone else but himself. You're so blind. I'm sorry that you're new to this whole Immortal thing, but there is no excuse for your behavior. You're endangering not only yourself, but your brother and the entire Resistance as well."

  "Excuse me?" I found my voice and my attitude. "Who are you to judge me? You don't even know Kiran. You don't know anything about him or about us. I can't explain it to you, and you know what, I don't have to explain it to you because it's none of your business. I'm sorry I don't like you Jericho, but Kiran and I are the real deal and it has nothing to do with what I have to offer him," I crossed my arms defiantly. Jericho picked the wrong day to mess with me.

  "How can you say that?" he shouted at me. "It's everbody's business! You make it everbody's business. You honestly believe that you can just continue this secret romance and then one day Lucan will be dead and you'll be what? Queen? It's a joke. Kiran doesn't want you anywhere near that throne except to steal your Immortality and leave you to rot in prison. And I know plenty, plenty about that so-called prince charming of yours. If he loves you like you claim, then why is he still engaged to Seraphina? Why does he still spend every spare moment with her, buying her things, taking her to dinner, spending the night with her?" when I shook my head in defiant shock he defended himself, "Eden, who do you think runs surveill
ance on him? Hmmm? I've seen it all. Sure, he has you over when she is busy and he is all alone. What do you think he does when you two are not together?" I took another step back. I felt like puking. "And do not tell me you don't have feelings for me when we both know that is a lie. Fine, I get it, I don't manipulate you and charm you the way he does, but what I have to offer you is the real deal. I'm not making promises I don't intend to keep, or hiding you away from everyone I know. You and me, we could be the real deal. Can't you see us fighting side by side? Starting a new way of life for, not only us, but our people as well?" Jericho's tone finally softened and I saw emotion behind his eyes, but he had hurt me too much for me to feel sorry for him. "Eden, I am offering you everything, not just secret parts of me but everything. I am the real deal," he walked over to me, staring into my eyes and waiting for an answer.

  "I'm sorry, Jericho, but you can't argue your way into a relationship with me," I spat out, turning on my heel and running up the stairs.

  "You're an idiot!" Avalon yelled through his door as I ran by his room. I felt deeply inside of him that he would like nothing more for me then to leave Kiran and date his best friend, but it was too bad.

  I slammed my door shut and instantly burst into tears. Jericho had hurt me more than anyone else today and that was saying a lot. The day might as well go down as the worst day in all history.

  I let out a scream of frustration and buried my face in my favorite feather pillow. Where was Lilly when I needed her? I was so sick and tired of boys.

  14.

  I woke up in the forest, our forest, on a bed of soft, velvety grass. The moon shone brightly through the trees, illuminating the world around me in an iridescent glow, blurring concrete lines into one cohesive flow of flowers and trees. Lightening bugs flickered on and off as they buzzed around the small grotto I had awakened in. A warm breeze lifted my long hair off of my shoulders, and around my face.

  I stood up, my bare feet relishing the cool grass and looked around. Kiran hadn't called me here, since before I had left for Romania and my memories of the beauty of this place, our secret place, had begun to fade. I reached down and ran my fingers through wildflowers of every shape and color. Even in the moonlight, their vivid colors stood out against the darkness.

  I rubbed my bleary eyes, enjoying the peaceful surroundings. In a few seconds Kiran would find me, but until then I would enjoy the calm and quiet of this magnificent place. I sat back down in the middle of the clearing and brushed my fingers through the thick grass. I couldn't remember the last time I was really alone, or the last time I felt so still and serene.

  The last few weeks had been so chaotic; my life seemed to have been so completely turned upside down. I might have been able to technically live forever, but I was pretty sure a stress-related heart attack would finish me off at any moment.

  There was just so much to think about. Sebastian.... Assassins.... The Eternal Walk.... Living for eternity.... Jericho.... Kiran.... It was too much; it was too much for one person. I understood that I lived with a lot of responsibility, but did it really have to be life or death at every turn?

  "There you are," Kiran's soft accented voice called from between two trees and he appeared in front of me looking more god-like than human.

  He was in his baggy gray sweat pants that he often wore to this place, and his chest was bare revealing a chiseled and maintained physique. I sighed wistfully, at the sight of him. I had not wanted to be interrupted only moments ago, I had enjoyed the serenity of my solitude; but Kiran's presence brought an all-consuming swell of emotions that I now regretted not finding him sooner.

  I stared up at Kiran, unable to move, unable to remember why I had been so upset. He was the reason for all of my difficulties, but he was worth it. Our magics began to search each other out, to swirl around us in a playful game that mingled and mixed together in a united symphony of electricity.

  "What's the matter, Love?" he smirked, his perfect lips twisted in an expression that was both mischievous and caring.

  "Nothing's the matter. Not now, anyways," I reached out my arms to him and when he touched my hands with his, I pulled him down to the earth next to me.

  He landed beside me in a satisfied heap and his lips found mine immediately. With his hand carefully behind my head and his arm wrapped around my waist he brought me underneath him on the carpeted forest floor. A sigh escaped my mouth and I realized how desperately my soul had missed him.

  "Kiran," I sighed again, wrapping my arms around his strong neck and inhaling his scent.

  "Mmm.... say it again," he whispered hoarsely into my ear.

  "Say what again?" I asked, confused for the moment.

  "My name," he pulled away slightly so he could look me in the eyes. "I love your accent; say my name again," then he smirked at me with his signature smile and I fell in love with him all over.

  "You love my accent?" I giggled, realizing for the first time that I sounded different to him too. "I love your accent." I stated plainly, as if my point was more valid.

  "And I love you," Kiran stared deep into my eyes, allowing me to feel the muddled version of both, relaying to me the intensity behind them.

  "I love you, too," I said, out of breath.

  Suddenly our mouths connected again, a firework of adoration that exploded into our mingled magic in a light show of frenetic energy. He kissed me fervently as if to take all of my soul in this one embrace. I let him, without hesitation. I couldn't stop him if I wanted to. Our two spirits intertwined like a complex puzzle, forever joined, unable to distinguish the beginning from the end. And at that moment it didn't matter how my life was being torn apart or all of the obstacles we had to face to be together. We had each other. And that was all we needed.

  Eventually, the kissing slowed down and I leaned back against the grass to catch my breath. I smiled up at Kiran, believing that everything would work out. It had to.

  "Are you alright?" he asked, sliding onto his side next to me. He propped his head up with one hand and rested his other on my stomach. His hand was hot through my tank top, I did my best to focus on everything but that hand.

  "Now I am," I said quietly, not wanting to relive the gory details of the day.

  "I hate all this," Kiran said sadly, tracing his fingers around the wrinkles of my shirt.

  "Ugh. Me too," I admitted. "Can't we just stay here forever?" I looked around at the perfect backdrop of the forest, the sky alight with stars and buzzing with fireflies, and I couldn't imagine leaving this to go back to the awfulness of my every day life.

  "We could," Kiran smirked and then buried his face in my neck. "But that probably wouldn't be very safe for the rest of you. And I like the rest of you," he laughed in the depths of my hair.

  "The rest of me?" I asked, missing the joke.

  "Yes, you know, your sleeping body, the one in the real world," he lifted his head up to kiss me sweetly on the mouth and then the corner of the mouth and then my neck again. He was very distracting.

  "Oh, right. That one," I realized he was right. "Someone would find it, and kill it and all that."

  "Yes, I suppose so," Kiran stopped kissing me to give me the intensity of his aqua eyes.

  "Like Sebastian's guards, or your dad or even Seraphina? Actually.... Probably Seraphina," I grumbled.

  "No. Not like them," Kiran replied sternly, like I had offended him. "But somebody."

  "You really think Sebastian had nothing to do with that attack?" I couldn't believe he was serious.

  "Eden, Sebastian is my cousin, and one of my closest friends since birth; he would not lie to me." Kiran sat up, resting his long arms on his bent knees and looking out into the dense greenery.

  "I hope for your sake, you're right," I sat up too, the intimate moment ruined.

  "My sake? Is that a threat?" he asked mockingly.

  "A threat? What? No. I meant.... Never mind what I meant. Why are you fighting with me?" I demanded. There was no salvaging this day.

  "You're
fighting with me," Kiran looked at me with a serious face, but cracked a smile despite himself. I couldn't help myself but smile back.

  He opened his arm for me to snuggle up to him and I obeyed. There wasn't the warmth there was before in his arms. The perfection of his presence had disappeared but this was better than fighting.

  "I'm just stressed," I mumbled, trying to excuse my testy behavior.

  "Me too," he sighed and then kissed the top of my head, leaving his lips there for a few moments, holding me close to him.

  "Well, then let's call it a night. I should probably, like actually sleep anyway," I looked up at him, trying my best to give a reassuring smile, but even I was unconvinced.

  He didn't say anything, but he did give me a sweet, short kiss on the lips before our dream walk was over, and I was awake in my own bed surrounded by my pillows and buried deep beneath the folds of my thick comforter.

  I wanted to just fall back to sleep, to forget the day and forget the way I left things with Kiran. But I couldn't. Even the refuge of sleep, that I usually used to drown out the difficulties of life, escaped me.

  I lay there, staring at the ceiling till the birds were awake and the sun was streaming through my window. There was too much on my mind and too much to think about. I didn't know how one person could handle it all. Everything.... School, Immortality, the Resistance, Kiran, everything seemed so.... Hopeless.

  15.

  "Eden, why don't you put out more of those cucumber sandwich thingies and I'll find a place for the silverware," Aunt Syl instructed carefully, while fretting over her elaborate but catered spread. She pulled a pony tail holder off of her unseasonably tanned wrist and wrapped up her bleached blonde hair on the top of her head, the way she wore it when preparing for surgery.

  I obeyed, but thought it unnecessary, unless we were hosting every single Immortal, living and dead.

  In an effort to make me feel more comfortable, Aunt Syl had suggested to Amory that she host the India logistical meeting at our house. That way I wouldn't be so overwhelmed by everyone at the farm, and things would still get done without my stubborn refusal to participate.