by Aria Sparke
With a weary expression, he nodded as though he did this every day. ‘I’m sorry. What’s your name, please?’
‘Lily.’
‘Lily, I’m Pete. You’re welcome to travel with us in the ambulance. Maybe you can help answer some questions to help us look after your mother.’
Too overwhelmed to speak, I nodded.
* * *
CHAPTER 3
Alone
After sitting in the waiting room at St. Auburn’s Hospital all night and day, a nurse told me Mom was still in intensive care. Late in the afternoon, I decided to catch a bus home to shower and hopefully sleep for a few hours. The medical staff weren’t sure she was going to make it. They said they would call if there were any changes, but I didn’t trust them entirely.
After seeing my mother briefly, I tried to block my last vision of her lying helpless in the bed with flashing monitors, tubes and leads by picturing her happy and healthy. I needed to fix that image in my head in case it was the last one.
As the bus trundled through the streets, anger consumed me. How dare she leave me alone in Wicklow when I needed her. Tears of resentment clouded my eyes as I tried to focus on the rain swept scenery. Even though it was late spring, winter was creeping in from all fronts.
Wearily I trudged up the steps to the house, or was it now just my house? The thought chilled me and I quickly forced it deep down, so I couldn’t reach it. Blinking more tears back, I fumbled with my key. After almost stepping on a bunch of flowers wrapped in pink tissue paper, I scooped them up from the doormat.
The emptiness of the house hit like a slow, heavy wave, leaving me stranded in the doorway and wondering what to do next. Sitting on Mom’s favorite chair, I picked up a cushion to scream into until my rage turned to tears. Eventually the day turned into evening, but I didn’t feel sleepy or hungry. After raising my head, I noticed an envelope among the white flowers lying on the table with a handwritten note:
Hi Lily
Sorry, I couldn’t make our study date yesterday. I saw you were missing from school today.
Hope you’re okay.
Flynn
His kind words flicked a switch to my heart, setting off more tears. This was a first, flowers from a boy ... lilies like my name. After putting them in water, I forced myself to eat a piece of toast with tea. Later, I took the vase of flowers and put them on the bedside table with my cell phone before curling up under my comforter. Closing my eyes, I focused on the sweet, honey-like scent of the lilies and eventually fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
After showering, dressing and eating a quick breakfast the next morning, I read a message on my phone from the school welfare officer, Mrs. Allan. The hospital must have contacted her after I’d answered the social worker’s questions. My eighteenth birthday was close, but until then I needed to think of something to keep the welfare hell-hounds off my doormat. I hated being told what to do and wanted independence.
The note from Flynn with his phone number scrawled under the message lay on the table. Should I call? If only I could hear a voice other than hospital or school staff. Taking a deep breath, I tapped the numbers on the phone while trying not to panic.
‘Hi, Flynn speaking.’
‘Um, it’s me, Lily.’
‘Oh hi, Lily, how are you?’
‘Great, I mean, um, I’m okay.’ Now I sounded mentally incompetent.
‘Are you’re coming to school today?’
‘No, my mom’s sick.’
Silence.
‘She’s in St Auburn’s intensive care, so I’m heading back there this morning.’ Breathe.
‘That’s terrible, Lily. I’m really sorry. Is there anything I can do?’ His voice was kind, deep and reassuring, and I clung to it like a lifebuoy in a dark ocean.
I wanted to reach out and gather his steadiness and take it for my own. ‘Thanks, Flynn. I’ll be fine.’ Such a liar! ‘Thanks too for the beautiful flowers.’
‘Glad you liked them.’ His voice lingered in my head like the sweet scent of the lilies although I suspected my dire state made any human contact sound divine.
I needed to pull myself together. ‘I’ll see you at school.’
‘Look after yourself, Lily.’
While checking Mom’s password book for her email account, I found her password, Jane Eyre31. I logged on and searched through her contacts for her sister, Cecilia’s email address. With few listed, it was a simple exercise. After typing a letter to Cecilia telling her Elise was in intensive care, I sent it, relieved I’d tried. Just before I closed the emails, I spotted an unfamiliar name, Steve R., who’d emailed Mom a month ago. Although I was being nosy, curiosity got the better of me. When I clicked on the email, the message was brief: Call me.
At 9 am, I rang Wicklow High’s welfare officer, Mrs. Allan and convinced her Cecilia was coming to Wicklow as soon as she could arrange a flight from Scotland. With little effort, I convinced her I’d stay with friends until then. Over the phone, kids chattered in the background. Like pesky ants, they always lined up at her office at this hour of the morning, so I knew she’d be distracted.
After enduring a long, lonely night, I dreaded having to catch the bus to the hospital. I opened the front door and was astounded to see Flynn standing next to a white car. After he waved, I wanted to run down the steps and give him a hug.
‘Need a lift?’ He drummed the roof of the car with his fingers before sweeping his mop of dark hair aside.
My spirits soared. ‘You didn’t have to, honestly, yet I’m really glad to see you.’
He grinned and opened the car door to welcome me. Inside it was warm and comforting, smelling of donuts and pine-scented aftershave lotion.
Grateful for his kindness, I almost burst.
‘Have you had breakfast?’ He offered me a tray of iced donuts. ‘The chocolate one’s got your name on it.’
‘Thanks, but I’ve just had breakfast.’ I hadn’t been hungry since they took Mom away and this morning my stomach was doing back flips with worry.
As we drove across town with him humming and singing in a tuneless tone to the car radio, it brought a smile to my face. Once we’d parked the car in the hospital parking lot, he insisted on accompanying me to the intensive care unit. As we took a lift to the unit, I hyperventilated, worried by what news I might hear. Overcome by the odors of antiseptic and floor polish and the glare of the overhead lights, I hesitated, but Flynn took my hand and guided me down the corridor.
A boy was holding my hand, another first, yet I was almost ashamed to acknowledge the fact in my head. Although nearly eighteen, I felt like an alien going skin to skin with her first human. Normally even the thought would have given me palpitations, but he did it in such an effortlessly natural way, I wasn’t awkward or embarrassed. His hand was cool, smooth and strong and somehow eased my trembling while giving me a sense of calm.
‘Good morning. How’s Elise Winter, please?’ I asked the nurse on the desk when we entered the intensive care unit. ‘I’m her daughter, Lily.’
The middle-aged man looked up from the notes he was writing and smiled. ‘You’re Lily? Great, I was just about to give you a call.’
‘Is she okay?’ My voice sound weak and distant.
The nurse clicked his pen and smiled encouragingly. ‘Dr. Henderson came through an hour ago and said she thinks Elise will pull through.’
Relief flooded my body. ‘Thank you. Can I see her, please?’
‘Yes, but she’s still quite groggy and is sleeping now, so I wouldn’t wake her. A psychologist will talk to her later today if she’s up to it.’
‘A psychologist?’ Of course it was probably standard for someone who had overdosed, yet it sounded strange and foreign.
‘She hasn’t spoken since she regained consciousness last night,’ the nurse said. ‘But I’m sure she’ll be fine once she gets help.’
‘Can you tell me who phoned the ambulance the night, um, she was brought in?’ It was difficult to bring myself t
o speak of her overdose because saying it aloud only made it true.
The nurse frowned. ‘I’m fairly certain she did.’ He combed through the notes. ‘Yes, that’s what’s recorded.’
I nodded although it didn’t make sense, but I didn’t want to talk about it in front of Flynn. Had she tried to commit suicide and then changed her mind? It was all so unlike my mother. She dreamed of riding air balloons and climbing mountains and would never have chosen to go out of this world so willingly.
‘Why don’t we go for coffee and come back later? She might have woken by then and be ready to talk to you,’ Flynn said.
The nurse smiled encouragingly. ‘That sounds like a good idea. We’ll look after her. Try the Courtyard Cafe. They make the best coffee.’
Annoyed to be ushered out before I had asked all my questions, I walked out of the unit toward the lift without speaking to Flynn.
‘Are you okay?’ Flynn asked quietly.
‘Yes, I probably just need a coffee. You’d better get back to school. I don’t want you missing it on my account—not while finals are so close.’
‘Okay, how about I have a coffee with you before I go, but I’ll come back after classes and give you a lift home?’ I loved the way Flynn’s eyebrows echoed his words like they were asking the question.
I knew he was a decent person. ‘Thanks, you’re kind.’
It had cleared to yet another overcast day when we entered the courtyard with our coffee. Patients healthy enough to be wandering around with drip stands or in wheelchairs were visiting the cafeteria with families and friends. I was relieved Flynn didn’t press me for any details of my mother’s illness. Instead, he chatted about school.
‘I hear you met my brother, Martin?’
I couldn’t help smiling. ‘How did you know?’
‘Anya told me you mixed us up.’ He frowned. ‘Although I can’t see the likeness.’
I grinned.
‘Anya’s a lot like you. She wants to be a doctor too.’
‘Really? Wow, I’ll have to get to know her better.’
‘She’s pretty uptight about finals too.’
I hated Flynn thinking I was tense.
‘Anya showed me the website for a new college that’s just outside Wicklow. It’s her back-up plan if she doesn’t get the scholarship she wants.’
‘Sounds interesting.’
‘The college offers a science program with full scholarships including accommodation and meals.’
‘I’ll check it out.’
‘Anya said the scholarship funds books and tuition too and credits can be transferred to med school.’
‘Will you be getting a recruitment commission?’
Flynn laughed. ‘Honestly, it seems so good Martin and I are applying.’
‘Do you want to be doctors too?’
‘No way, we’re not masochists.’
‘What do you want to study?’
He shrugged.
‘But you’re still going to college?’
‘It’ll buy us time.’ He smiled. ‘It must be great knowing exactly what you want to do.’
‘Can’t help my A-type personality.’
‘Just like Anya. I envy you both.’
Curious about the college as a back-up plan, I decided to research the idea. ‘What’s the place called?’
‘Anubis College.’
‘Never heard of it.’
‘Like I said before, it’s new, in its second or third year, I think.’
As the sun threatened to break through the cloud, Flynn drained his coffee cup and stood. ‘I’m off. See you this afternoon. Take it easy won’t you?’
‘Thanks, Flynn. Thanks for everything.’
I sat for a while longer appreciating the warmth of the watery sunshine. Picking up a newspaper lying on the table, I flicked through the pages until I spotted an article about a young woman murdered near the mall. Feeling my heart race as I scoured the story, I froze when I read the description of her long silver gown. The murderer had stabbed her to death. Shaking, I tore the article from the page, and folded it before putting it in my pocket.
* * *
When I returned to the intensive care unit, the nurse guided me to Mom’s room. She looked so small and fragile curled in a fetal position with tubes and wires attached to her body. All I wanted was to scoop her up and take her home away from this sterile room. With the lights dimmed, I thought she was asleep until I got closer. Shocked, I saw her eyes were wide and staring.
‘Lily,’ she whispered. ‘Thank God. They think I did this, but I didn’t. He forced the pills down my throat to kill me.’
‘It’s okay, Mom. Settle down.’ She was obviously delirious.
‘Please turn the lights on, or he’ll come back.’
‘Who?’ I said switching the lamp on over her bed.
‘The monster.’
After noticing her wrists were restrained by the bed frame, I blinked back tears with the realization she must have had some form of mental breakdown.
‘Be careful, Lily, please.’
‘Of course I will.’ After trying to settle my mother, I left to talk to the nurse.
‘What’s wrong with her?’ I asked.
He shook his head and sighed. ‘I’m not sure, but I hear she lost her husband.’
I looked away.
‘Your father? Of course, I’m so sorry. That could do it. They’ll probably take her to Piermont House for further assessment and treatment. It’s a rehab facility here in Wicklow with a terrific program and expert staff. They’re used to dealing with patients like ... she’ll be in great hands, I promise.’
‘A rehab facility?’
He nodded. ‘A psychiatric one.’
Shocked, I knew my mother didn’t belong there because she wasn’t crazy. I could look after her, so I had to think fast. ‘We can’t afford it.’
‘Don’t worry. I understand your mother has good health insurance. Once she’s settled at Piermont, you and your family can visit.’
Me and my family—right. As for health insurance? That was an adult concern I hadn’t yet dealt with. Paying rent and groceries had been a rude awakening in the past few months, but I hadn’t reached the heavier duty stuff. I reminded myself to check through her papers.
When Flynn picked me up in the parking lot, I’d got over my first waves of terror by dunking my head under the tap in the visitor’s bathroom. After sitting on a toilet bowl with my hair dripping for an hour, I still hadn’t come to terms with the news.
‘You don’t look so good,’ he said.
‘Rough news. They’re taking her to Piermont House.’ I didn’t feel comfortable yet telling him of my mother’s fears because I didn’t know what to make of them.
Flynn’s eyes narrowed.
‘It’s a psychiatric facility.’
‘Yes, I’ve heard of it. I’m sure they’ll treat your mom well, and once she’s had a rest, she’ll be ready to go home.’
What he said made sense, but I desperately wanted her home with me now.
‘Okay, let’s head back to your home and I’ll cook dinner,’ Flynn said decisively. ‘Any objections?’
I shook my head. I was definitely warming to him and craved human company for the next few hours.
After we returned to the house, Flynn unearthed two frozen steaks from the freezer and prepared baked potatoes, fried mushrooms and a green salad. As he cooked the steaks, I recalled the newspaper article I’d stuck in my pocket.
‘Remember that couple we saw the night we met?’
Flynn frowned. ‘The junkies in the parking lot?’
‘I read a newspaper article ... a woman was murdered. It said she was wearing a long silver gown.’
‘What?’
‘That woman we saw was wearing a silver dress.’ I shook the paper. ‘The same night this murder took place.’
Flynn’s brow furrowed. ‘Where was she found?’
‘Across town near the mall.’
He si
ghed. ‘It couldn’t be her then.’
‘Unless that guy drove her there,’ I shuddered, ‘and murdered her.’
‘Tell you what, tomorrow morning I’ll go to the police.’
‘Would you? Thanks. It’s been running around the back of my mind, but with everything else, I didn’t get round to calling them.’
‘Relax. I promise I’ll take care of it.’
By the time we had eaten, I couldn’t focus on study and fell asleep with exhaustion in front of the television. When Flynn decided to go, I walked him to the door, but just before he left, he pulled me close to him and pecked me on the cheek. It was gentle and unexpected and left me warm and happy I’d met him. Since Dad had died, I’d pushed potential friends away. I’d wanted comfort and company but was afraid to get close to another soul and have them leave or die.
‘Well, Lily Winter, I’ll see you tomorrow.’ He grinned cheekily before leaping down the steps to his car. ‘Make sure you lock up!’
That night I lay awake for hours with the creaky settling sounds of the house, Mom’s strange warning and reliving Flynn’s kiss. My senses were on overload. Elise was sick, it was obvious, but why had she imagined such a weird scenario? The only explanation I could think of was the overwhelming stress of Dad’s death.
As for Flynn—he was getting under my skin, but I barely knew him. After the exams, my number one priority would be getting to know him before things between us got too heated.
* * *
CHAPTER 4
Exploding Stars
The following day the hospital rang and said Mom was undergoing a few tests and for me to wait until the next day to visit. Flynn offered to drive me home from school and when he asked if it would be okay for Anya and Martin to come too, part of me was relieved. This was new territory for me and I was a cautious person. Things between Flynn and me were moving at warp speed, so I really needed Anya around to act as a brake and buffer. I wasn’t so sure about Martin, but I was prepared to give him the benefit of doubt.
Soon after I arrived home and invited the others in, a guy knocked on the door and delivered a stack of pizzas and two bottles of soda. I scrambled to find my purse, but Martin brushed me away and pulled out his wallet to pay for the food. Perhaps he wasn’t the ogre I first imagined.