Dinosaur Pox

by Jeremy Strong

  In the far corner of the railway yard an elderly man was walking his dog. He stopped and watched with mounting disbelief as a

  dinosaur hurtled out from an old railway shed, grabbed some nettles and disappeared back in again. He watched the dinosaur do this three times, and then hurried home.

  A full-scale search was well under way. Police were scouting the streets and conducting house-to-house inquiries. The Boltons’ telephone hardly stopped ringing as inquisitive neighbours rang in to say how sorry they were, could they do anything to help, and was it because of the dog?

  ‘What dog?’ asked Mr Bolton.

  ‘Why, the one Mr Parkinson saw yesterday.’

  Mrs Bolton smiled and mouthed across at her husband. ‘Big dog,’ she said. ‘It’s a new breed.’

  ‘No, it wasn’t a dog,’ scowled Mr Bolton. ‘Now please get off the telephone. If you want to help you can stop ringing us.’

  ‘I was only trying to help,’ the caller said, indignantly.

  ‘No, you weren’t, you were being nosy,’ answered Mr Bolton, and he slammed down the telephone. Mrs Bolton put a calming hand on his arm. ‘Honestly,’ he fumed.

  Meanwhile, Inspector Craw and Mr Pinkerton-Snark were still crawling round the town in a squad car, hoping to spot the elusive dinosaur. The specialist was becoming increasingly impatient. If only they had a clue, a lead, a sighting. The inspector was sitting in the back, his head nodding forward dozily on to his chest. A message came crackling through on the radio.

  ‘Calling Craw, calling Craw. Dinosaur spotted down at the old railway yard.’

  Inspector Craw jerked awake and hastily scribbled some notes as more details came through over the radio.

  ‘At last!’ cried Pinkerton-Snark.

  ‘Old man out walking his dog saw it, three times,’ repeated the inspector. ‘He’s certain it was a dinosaur. Says it was running about eating nettles. There’s a car on the way there now, but we’re even closer, so let’s go!’

  The car’s siren began howling like a tortured ghost. They raced down the road and skidded round corners, leaving a trail of black tyre marks and a strong smell of burnt rubber.

  Inside the old railway shed, Jodie heard the wail of approaching sirens and was immediately afraid. She nuzzled with her snout at the door, peering out. She knew that police cars were hurtling closer and closer, and that could only mean one thing – they were after her.

  Her blood ran hot and cold. Someone must have seen her when she went out for the nettles. Where, oh where, was Mark? He’d been gone for ages.

  And then Jodie saw him, staggering across the concrete towards the shed, dragging his bag of vegetables with him. He didn’t seem to have heard the police cars that were screaming nearer and nearer.

  Jodie felt powerless. She must stay hidden, but at any moment Mark would either be caught or he would give away her hiding place. Inside her massive ribcage her dinosaur heart was thundering furiously. The passing seconds became hours, like watching a film in slow motion.

  All at once, a squad car hurtled into the yard, slewing across the rubbly concrete.

  ‘That’s the boy!’ cried Pinkerton-Snark. ‘Over there with the bags. Pick him up, sergeant.’

  Mark turned and watched as the police car rushed towards him. He looked all around, but there was nobody else they could possibly be after. His heart sank to his boots. The Undercover Squad squealed into the yard in their black van and raced towards him, closely followed by another squad car. Meanwhile the first car had slid to a halt and out jumped Inspector Craw and Mr Pinkerton-Snark.

  ‘Don’t move, Mark! Stay there! You’re coming with us.’

  Mark froze. He stared wildly across to the shed, just able to make out Jodie’s eyes glinting anxiously behind the closed doors. At least nobody knew where his sister was yet. He prepared to make a run for it. He reckoned that if he couldn’t avoid capture he might at least be able to lure the hunters away from Jodie and give her time to escape. Above his head a police helicopter rocked

  slowly as it descended, pressing a gale of wind down on Mark.

  ‘Just keep very still!’ boomed Mr Pinkerton-Snark, ‘and you’ll be all right.’

  Inspector Craw spoke to his team. ‘We’ve got the boy, and the dinosaur is bound to be near by. Spread out and search the sheds.’

  Policemen began running to the buildings and Mark anxiously bit his lip. What could he do?

  ‘There’s a good boy,’ called Mr Pinkerton-Snark. ‘Come on, over here.’

  A good boy! How pathetic! The police were edging closer to Jodie’s hiding place, and Pinkerton-Snark was closing in on Mark. He had to do something, before it was too late. If only he could draw the police away from the shed. He suddenly dropped his bags, turned and sprinted for the far side of the yard.

  ‘After him!’ yelled the specialist, and the police turned and stared at Mark’s rapidly disappearing figure.

  ‘Get the boy! He must know where the dinosaur is hiding!’ cried Inspector Craw, and the police raced back to their cars.

  Tyres squealed as three vehicles roared across the yard, with policemen leaning out of windows, yelling at Mark. Doors flew open and several policemen leaped out and hurled themselves after Mark, who was running like the wind. His heart felt about to burst.

  ‘Can’t catch me!’ he yelled over his shoulder, and then ‘Ooof!’ He hurtled straight into the waiting arms of the police gorilla, two-metres tall and built like the Empire State Building.

  Jodie watched in despair. It could only end one way. The big figures of the adults seemed to converge from all sides on her hapless brother and they pounced, while he kicked and screamed. ‘Let me go! I’m innocent! I want to see my solicitor!’

  This was too much. With a terrifying roar, Jodie exploded from the shed.

  7 Jodie to the Rescue

  ‘Raaaaargh!’ One door went flying across the yard in splinters while the other flapped brokenly for a few seconds before toppling to the ground with a loud crash. Jodie was already galloping furiously across the yard in a cloud of whirling dust. Her thick, fat legs made the concrete surface shudder and crack. She opened her powerful jaws wide and bellowed again. ‘Raaaaaargh!’

  By the time Mark’s captors spotted her, it was too late. She thundered into their midst, sending them flying with a toss of her head, a painful flick of her thick tail, or a side-swipe with her belly. The air was thick with painful cries as they crashed sprawling to the ground, or flew gracelessly through the air.

  Mark grabbed hold of one of Jodie’s fins, hauled himself on to her back and away they galloped, leaving a moaning, groaning heap of helpless hunters struggling on the ground.

  Only Mr Pinkerton-Snark seemed unscathed by Jodie’s devastating attack. He gazed after the disappearing dinosaur with a look of triumph. ‘She won’t escape me this time. Come on, Craw!’ He grabbed the dazed inspector, who was trying to stifle a nosebleed, and tried to drag him by the collar to a waiting car.

  Jodie pounded across the big yard, hot snorts of breath bursting from her nostrils. Mark clung on for dear life, bouncing about like a rag doll. Jodie headed for the yard exit, but even as she caught a distant glimpse of the brightly shining superstores, a fourth police car roared down the road.

  Jodie took no notice and simply carried on, well into her stride. The car screeched and swerved sharply to avoid crashing head first into the stegosaurus. Rapidly it slewed round and came after her in hot pursuit, lights flashing and siren sawing the air into heavy chunks.

  As Jodie thundered on to the road, it drew up alongside, with two policemen leaning out of their windows and yelling at Mark. ‘Stop! You haven’t got a hope of escaping!’

  Mark was too busy clinging to his sister’s back to pay any attention to what was happening next to him, but Jodie was well aware of the danger. The car kept swerving towards her in a very threatening manner, trying to push her off the road and force her up against a wall.

  By this time, Jodie was well aware how
strong and heavy she was. She was built like a small tank, and as the car lunged towards her again she threw her own full, thundering weight against the vehicle. Her attack was a complete surprise, and the car bounced away out of control and decided to attack the brick wall head-on. It lost.

  Three policemen staggered from their suddenly foreshortened vehicle. They clung to each other in a daze, and then collapsed in a heap against the wall, while the siren coughed, peeped and finally gave up the ghost altogether.

  In the meantime, Inspector Craw appeared to be doing an impression of a hyperactive windmill as he fought his way out of the clutches of Mr Pinkerton-Snark. He practically fell out of the police car.

  ‘Gerroff!’ shouted the inspector. ‘I’m going in the helicopter!’

  He waved down the chopper and climbed on board. He quickly regained his calm, carefully following the battle below. He gave curt orders over the radio and dabbed at his bruised nose with a blood-stained hanky.

  Jodie was clear of the cars for the time being. She had almost reached the superstores. Her hope now was that she could somehow lose her pursuers in the crowded shopping area. Unfortunately she was not expecting a clattering helicopter to swoop down on her like some fearfully large and noisy vulture. Jodie swerved away and went pounding straight into the supermarket.

  Chaos! Shoppers scattered in every direction, and if they didn’t scatter fast enough they simply went flying as Jodie blundered down one aisle, up another, down another.

  Mark clung to her back with aching hands and shouted apologies over his fleeing shoulder as shoppers fell like ninepins. ‘Oops! Sorry! So sorry! Uh-oh – there goes another one – sorry! Beg your pardon!’

  His apologies were drowned by a rising cacophony of screams, yells, cries and sobs, not to mention Jodie’s raspy breathing and her frequent grunts and roars. High up inside his office the panic-stricken General Manager was calling the Emergency Services.

  ‘Yes!’ he yelled down the telephone. ‘You heard me right the first time – I did say there’s a dinosaur on the rampage! For heaven’s sake get here quickly before someone gets killed!’

  This last remark was a bit hard on Jodie and it was a good thing she didn’t hear it. Despite the mess she was making, she was taking as much care as a speeding dinosaur could to avoid mowing down too many people. This generally meant mowing down stacks of tins, and mounds of fruit and vegetables instead.

  She even managed to produce a wonderful domino effect when she unfortunately sent an entire row of shelving toppling to one side, spilling its goods across the floor before it hit the next row and sent that plunging too. The second row collapsed against a third row and so on, until in the end seven rows of shelving had been totally demolished – not that anyone was actually counting. They were too busy screaming and running away as fast as possible.

  By the time Jodie managed to find the exit, she had reduced the inside of the giant store to a heaving ocean of struggling people, squashed vegetables, dented tins, split containers, broken biscuits, and a general mishmash of spoiled goods. Leaving the mini-earthquake behind, Jodie went thundering out of the exit.

  Waiting outside were five squad cars and a hovering helicopter.

  ‘Give yourself up!’ boomed Inspector Craw through the loud hailer. ‘There’s no way out!’

  From all sides Mark could hear the sound of approaching sirens. His heart sank. The entire police force must be after them, he reckoned, but he was wrong. It wasn’t just the police force. The fire brigade was on its way too, and they were being closely followed by a convoy of ambulances, just in case.

  They all arrived at the same time, piling into the Retail Park with lights flashing and sirens blaring. Jodie took all this in at one glance and plunged into the nearby Garden Centre.

  Miss Gatling was looking for geraniums. She liked geraniums. In fact Miss Gatling liked everything about gardening. It was a pleasant, relaxing hobby. Flowers, unlike children, usually did what they were told. Miss Gatling enjoyed browsing in the local Garden Centre, where everything was so quiet and peaceful. Unfortunately Miss Gatling was about to be rudely awakened from her state of bliss. Jodie and Mark were thundering towards her at top speed. Miss Gatling heard the noise and turned. She froze. Her eyes popped. Her jaw dropped, and then dropped a bit more, and then even more still. There was a dinosaur charging straight at her. Miss Gatling’s face set in a stern mask and she pointed a stiff, thin finger at the dino-tank.

  ‘Jodie Bolton! Stop that at once!’ But Jodie couldn’t stop. She had twenty-five policemen, Pinkerton-Snark, eighteen firemen and six stretcher-bearers chasing right behind her.

  ‘Get out of the way!’ yelled Mark. ‘Or you’ll get run over!’

  ‘How dare you speak to me like that, young man. If you don’t stop at once I shall … Ohhhhhhhhhh! Aaaaaaaaah! Oooooooooo! Eeeeeeeee!’ The headteacher went flying into the air, executed a rumbustious somersault, which showed her thermal underwear in a most unladylike manner – and then plunged headfirst into the display pond. By the time she surfaced, Jodie was already far away, bumbling against big potted plants and generally creating havoc.

  She was tired. Her fat legs ached and she felt as if she couldn’t run another step. Jodie desperately searched for a hiding place. She crashed through one last display of plants, sending them spilling on all sides and found herself at the back of the Garden Centre. In front of her was a solid brick wall. Wearily she turned, only to find a packed crowd of excited shoppers hemming her in on all sides.

  Jodie snorted threateningly and pawed the ground. The crowd stopped. They did not dare come any closer, and Jodie didn’t go anywhere near them.

  Mark leaned forward, putting his head close to Jodie’s. ‘I think we’ve hit a problem.’

  ‘What? Only one?’ panted Jodie.

  There was a disturbance at the back of the crowd and moments later Inspector Craw pushed to the front, along with several policemen. ‘It’s all over,’ he said. ‘Get off the beast, Mark.’

  ‘She’s not a beast! She’s my sister!’ This remark was greeted with howls of laughter by the crowd. Mark didn’t care. What did they know about it?

  Inspector Craw shrugged his shoulders and ordered his men forward. As they approached they unravelled a rope net, grasping the weighted end. They fanned out and spread right round Jodie on all sides. She lifted her head and roared. ‘Raaaargh!’

  Mr Pinkerton-Snark could hardly contain himself. ‘Wonderful, wonderful – she roars as well! I do hope she does it on television!’

  The heavy net flew through the air. It spread out like a dark thundercloud, pinning Mark to his sister’s back, and bringing Jodie to her knees. She thought of struggling, but there was little point. She was almost relieved that she didn’t have to run any more.

  ‘It’s all over, Mark,’ she murmured.

  ‘Get the boy out of here,’ snarled Pinkerton-Snark, and a police officer began freeing Mark from the coils of the net. Pinkerton-Snark turned to the inspector. ‘We need a truck. We’ll use one of the fork-lift vehicles from the Garden Centre to load the creature on to the truck.’

  ‘Where do we take her?’

  ‘She’ll have to go to the Animal Quarantine Hospital.’

  ‘The one they use in case an animal has rabies?’

  ‘Exactly. They should have a cage that’s large enough.’

  ‘You can’t do that!’ yelled Mark. ‘She’s my sister! We want to go home!’ He leaped at Pinkerton-Snark and began pummelling the specialist with his fist. A police sergeant hurried forward and grabbed him. He snaked one arm round Mark’s waist and pulled him away. Mark kicked furiously.

  Inspector Craw fixed Mark with a stern eye. ‘Your parents are worried stiff about the pair of you. Take him to the squad car,

  sergeant, I’ll be along as soon as I’ve cleared the area and seen this dinosaur safely off to quarantine.’

  ‘No!’ yelled Mark, as he was dragged away, ‘I want to be with my sister!’

  The crowd
parted as the sergeant and another officer pulled and pushed and dragged Mark off. He caught one last glimpse of Jodie lying there under the net all alone, then the crowd joined together like a wall, and she was gone.

  8 Strange Business in the Night

  It was evening before the Boltons were allowed to visit Jodie. She was being kept in a cage. Mr Pinkerton-Snark had organized a press conference for the following morning, and he was looking forward to it. Tomorrow his name would be known worldwide. Tomorrow he would be rich. He had gone off to the hospital to hand in his resignation. He wouldn’t need to work ever again.

  Mrs Bolton wiped a tear from her cheek and clutched the cage bars. ‘Oh Jodie, we do love you, you know. We’ve always loved you. There was no need for this – we loved you just as you were.’

  Jodie’s head lifted a fraction. ‘I know,’ she said, fighting back some tears of her own.

  Her father cleared his throat noisily. ‘We’ll get you out somehow,’ he said. ‘We’ll get you back to normal.’ He forced a smile. ‘I want my funny freckle-face back.’

  ‘I never had funny freckles,’ said Jodie. ‘But they were better than this.’

  Mr Bolton held up a sack. ‘We brought you some carrots,’ he said, and he tipped most of them into the cage before pushing the rest of the sack through after them.

  ‘Oh yummy,’ growled Jodie, turning her back on the pile. Mr Bolton fished for his wife’s hand and squeezed it. Neither of them knew what to say.

  Mark leaned against the bars. ‘I’m sorry about this morning,’ he said. ‘We never made it.’

  ‘It was brilliant,’ said Jodie. ‘I quite enjoyed myself. What a mess we made! Anyhow, thanks for helping me escape and everything.’

  ‘It’s OK.’ Mark shrugged. ‘You would have done the same for me.’

  Would she? Jodie wasn’t sure. Well, maybe.

  ‘You’ll be on telly tomorrow,’ he went on.