Snowflakes and Cinnanmon Swirls at the Winter Wonderland

by Heidi Swain

  ‘Oh,’ I said. ‘OK. Right.’

  Still he didn’t say anything and I began to wonder if perhaps he really had done more for me than I had for him. How embarrassing. Not only had I crossed the line we had so carefully drawn and gone too far with a colleague, I’d been a disappointment to boot.

  ‘That kiss was amazing, Hayley,’ he eventually said.

  Well, that was something, but he still didn’t sound exactly thrilled about it, and given that I had been going out of my way to get used to the platonic delights of our friendship, I knew I shouldn’t have been as turned on as I was, either, but I couldn’t help myself.

  ‘Far better than I ever imagined it would be,’ he added.

  ‘Have you been imagining it for long?’ I nudged.

  ‘Ever so long,’ he groaned.

  ‘I suppose it wasn’t a bad effort for someone who recently told me they’re not interested in having any sort of a relationship,’ I carried on, trying to keep my tone light, ‘especially one that might make them happy.’

  Gabe nodded and took a deep breath before running his hands through his hair.

  ‘Why is it,’ I asked, ‘that every time we seem to be getting somewhere you back off? One minute you’re happy to settle for friends, which is fine by me by the way, but the next you’re pinning me down and—’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered.

  ‘Just tell me what it is that you want,’ I pleaded.

  More than anything, and in spite of the fact that I had been trying to convince myself otherwise, I wanted to hear him say that he wanted us to be together, but I knew he wasn’t going to. From the look on his face I could see that he was feeling even more confused than I was, but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to explain why.

  One thing I did know, however, was that those feelings in me that he had aroused so soon after his arrival hadn’t been set aside at all. They had been sitting just under the surface and now Gabe had thrown a stone at them, they’d started to ripple all over again. I should have been annoyed, the old me would have been furious, but, to be honest, the man sitting next to me didn’t look as if he was messing me about on purpose. If anything, he looked every bit as confused by it all as I was beginning to feel.

  ‘I want you, Hayley,’ he said simply. ‘I really do.’

  My heart leapt.

  ‘But I can’t have you,’ he swallowed, ‘because—’

  I didn’t get to find out what came after, as Gabe’s words were lost in the din Bran started making in response to the sound of a vehicle pulling up outside.

  ‘Now that really is the paper,’ said Gabe, quickly standing up and then pulling me to my feet.

  ‘Can we carry on with this conversation?’ I begged him, feeling certain that he hadn’t only kissed me to stop me worrying about the imminent arrival of the newspaper. ‘Please. Later on, once we’ve looked at the ad with the others?’

  ‘Perhaps,’ he shrugged. ‘Maybe. I’m so sorry if you think I took advantage of you again, Hayley, but sometimes when we’re alone I just can’t seem to help myself. When I’m around you . . .’ his words trailed off again. ‘Look, I know I said to you when I arrived here that I had a handle on my baggage, but I don’t. I thought I did, I thought I was doing really well and would be able to get by without giving my happiness a second thought, but then you came along and now I’m just so confused. About everything.’

  I should have taken that as my cue to tell him that he didn’t have a monopoly on that particular emotion, but my attention was pulled back to Bran who came trotting in with the paper clamped firmly in his jaws. How he managed to still look like he was smiling with a mouthful of newsprint was beyond me, but he did.

  ‘Come on,’ said Gabe, relieving the dog of his quarry and consequently putting an end to his unfathomable monologue, ‘let’s go up to the hall and look at this all together.’

  With me sitting in my usual spot at the table and everyone crowded around, I tentatively opened the paper and began turning the pages. Between us we had three copies, but everyone was waiting to see my reaction before they started thumbing through the others.

  A collective gasp filled the air as I finally found the page. I slowly took it all in and, as my eyes filled with tears, I looked up and sought out where Jamie was standing.

  ‘You never said you were going to make it a full page,’ I croaked. ‘It must have cost a fortune.’

  ‘I got a special rate,’ he shrugged, looking pleased.

  ‘And besides,’ said Catherine, laying a hand on my shoulder, ‘this is a very special occasion.’

  ‘And you aren’t just talking about the Winter Wonderland,’ said Angus, his eyes shining as bright as mine, ‘are you my dear?’

  The sight of something I had been solely responsible for creating filling a whole sheet of newsprint like that literally took my breath away. I don’t think I had ever felt happier with anything in my entire life.

  ‘I can’t wait to see how the flyers are going to look,’ beamed Molly. ‘This is spectacular, Hayley. Absolutely stunning.’

  I nodded in agreement but didn’t say anything for fear of coming across as big-headed, but she was right. It was truly spectacular.

  ‘We’ve gone for a high-gloss finish on the flyers,’ said Jamie, ‘and it’s going to be all hands on deck to get them distributed.’

  ‘Starting with the switch-on tomorrow night,’ Anna confirmed.

  Given everything that had been going on during the last couple of weeks, and in spite of the hours I had been putting in at the drawing board, I hadn’t really taken in just how quickly Christmas was creeping up on us. In just one more month it would be Christmas Eve and the weekend we were all so focused on would be done and dusted.

  ‘There,’ said Gabe, moving closer as the others picked up the spare papers. ‘I told you you had nothing to worry about. This looks amazing. You must be over the moon.’

  ‘I am,’ I swallowed as I felt his fingers become lightly entwined in my hair. ‘What are you doing?’ I whispered.

  ‘Hiding the evidence,’ he said, showing me a piece of twig, which had taken root, ‘before your eagle-eyed friends spot it.’

  ‘Too late,’ I sighed, as we looked up to find both Anna and Molly beaming in our direction.

  Chapter 20

  ‘I’ll give him five more minutes,’ said Jamie late the following afternoon as we all gathered in the kitchen to head into Wynbridge for the switch-on, ‘and then we’ll have to go without him.’

  ‘If we don’t leave soon,’ said Mick, glancing up at the clock, ‘we’ll never get parked.’

  ‘Are you sure he said he was coming?’ asked Dorothy. ‘He gave the fireworks a miss because he was worried about Bran.’

  ‘Perhaps he’s going to drive himself in,’ suggested Angus.

  ‘What do you think, Hayley?’ Anna asked, turning to me.

  ‘Yes,’ said Molly. ‘You’re the one he talks to most. Did he mention anything about his plans to you?’

  I felt myself turning annoyingly red as everyone turned their attention to me.

  ‘Don’t ask me,’ I snapped. ‘I don’t know any more than the rest of you.’

  I was certain Gabe wouldn’t have forgotten about the traditional Christmas lights switch-on in town because we had talked about it in the Cherry Tree, but I genuinely couldn’t remember if he had said he would be attending or not. I was hoping so as it would give us the perfect opportunity to spend some time together, among our friends, and hopefully distance ourselves from the searing embrace I hadn’t been able to put out of my mind all day. Although, perhaps the fact that he hadn’t rushed back over to the hall to find me and explain his behaviour further, meant that he had forgotten about it already.

  ‘Well, I’m going to get the Land Rover warmed up,’ said Mick, pulling on his coat. ‘I’m still not convinced the battery on it is all it should be.’

  ‘Why don’t you nip over to the cottage, Hayley?’ suggested Jamie. ‘Find out if
Gabe’s coming or not.’

  I didn’t think it was worth protesting. Whether I went to chase Gabe up or made a point of refusing, my friends were going to waste their time reading too much into my actions, and so I reached for my coat and headed out into the rapidly descending darkness.

  I could hear Mick revving the engine in the stable yard, keen to make sure the Land Rover wasn’t going to let him down on this occasion, so it would have been useless calling across to Gabe at the cottage, even though the front door was wide open. Not even my best impression of a hollering fishwife would have carried that far.

  It was far colder than I initially realised and I stopped for a second to quickly pull on my coat. By the time I had finished fiddling with the buttons and looked back up, I saw a woman walking down the path towards the cottage’s open door. There was a blasting bark from Bran and then Gabe rushed out to meet her. The way he lifted her off her feet and spun her around suggested she wasn’t a speculative double-glazing sales person or a Jehovah’s Witness, and before I had even thought of my next move they disappeared into the cottage slamming the door behind them.

  ‘He’s got company,’ said Mick, making me jump almost right out of my skin.

  ‘Looks like it,’ I shrugged, trying to convey that it meant nothing to me.

  ‘I take it he’s not coming then.’

  ‘I guess not,’ I said, heading back to the kitchen door to help hurry everyone along. ‘We better get on or we’ll be late.’

  ‘You think he would have said something though, wouldn’t you?’ Mick persisted.

  ‘Not really,’ I snapped, even though I didn’t mean to. ‘It’s the weekend, so, officially speaking, no one’s beholden to the hall.’

  Mick didn’t comment further.

  ‘What did he say?’ shouted Jamie from the doorway as everyone wandered out and he started fiddling with his massive bunch of keys.

  ‘Nothing,’ I said bluntly.

  ‘She didn’t get a chance to ask him,’ said Mick, keen to elaborate. ‘Because he’s got company.’

  ‘So, I thought it best not to disturb him,’ I cut in. ‘Now come on,’ I goaded, before Mick told everyone that the Wynthorpe woodsman was holed up with a beautiful woman for what would I imagined be a weekend of cosy fun and romantic frolics. ‘Or it won’t be worth going.’

  As no one could decide when exactly we would want to return to the hall that evening, we decided to take two vehicles. This would mean that those of us who were in the mood could hang about in town, while those in favour of an early night could head back.

  Anna insisted on driving in with Jamie, Molly and me as passengers. If it had been her intention to quiz me about who our neighbour was entertaining, I didn’t give her a chance as I immediately got Jamie chatting about the plans for the Winter Wonderland and he thankfully didn’t draw breath until we parked up in Wynbridge.

  The little market town was heaving by the time we arrived and I resolved to put all thoughts of Gabe and his visitor out of my mind and enjoy what was always one of my favourite evenings of the year. But who was she?

  Gabe had never given any indication that he had a girlfriend tucked away or, heaven forbid, a wife. Perhaps this woman – who I had already convinced myself was as sophisticated as she was tall, and as beautiful as she was willowy – was some part of the baggage from his past. If that were the case, what right had he to kiss me and go about awakening all manner of tumultuous feelings I hadn’t realised I was capable of?

  ‘Right,’ said Jamie as he thrust a pile of papers into my hand. ‘Let’s see how many of these we can shift between us.’

  I looked down at the bundle and then held one of the flyers up into the light.

  ‘They look even better than the ad in the paper,’ gasped Molly. ‘I bet you’re pleased we found that art folder of yours now, aren’t you, Hayley?’

  ‘That Suki found, you mean,’ Anna quickly added.

  ‘Yes,’ said Molly, ‘that’s what I meant.’

  I couldn’t help but laugh at Molly’s flushed face and was about to comment when someone made a grab for her from behind causing her to drop her flyers, which the rest of us set about speedily retrieving. Jamie was swearing about the cost and how we couldn’t afford to waste a single one, but when he stood back up the complaints died in his throat as he found his brother, Archie, kissing Molly keenly on the lips.

  ‘Good god,’ he laughed, passing Molly’s dropped bundle to me and pulling his brother away from our friend and into a hug. ‘What are you doing here?’

  ‘Archie,’ beamed Anna. ‘What a surprise!’

  ‘A good one, I hope,’ he said, smiling sheepishly as he took his place once again at Molly’s side.

  ‘Of course it’s a good one,’ Jamie laughed. ‘A bloody brilliant one, actually.’

  ‘I thought you said you wouldn’t be back until nearer to Yule,’ said Molly, her cheeks glowing even brighter as Archie reached for her hand and kissed it.

  ‘I couldn’t stay away any longer,’ he told her. ‘Africa was wonderful, but it didn’t have the hold on my heart that the Fens has claimed.’

  ‘Is there something the pair of you would like to share with the rest of us?’ Anna asked.

  ‘Oh, I don’t think that’s necessary,’ I said with a wink, ‘I think we can all work out what’s going on here, don’t you?’

  ‘Well, yes,’ said Anna, ‘but what I want to know is, how long has it been going on and why haven’t you told us before?’

  ‘We wanted it to be a surprise,’ said Archie, taking the pile of flyers Molly had dropped from me and passing it back to her.

  ‘Well, I for one am not surprised in the slightest,’ I told him.

  ‘Me neither,’ said Anna.

  ‘Nor me,’ added Jamie and we all laughed.

  ‘And what’s all this?’ asked Archie, as he took in the details of the Winter Wonderland his family were putting on this year. ‘I know you said Dad was planning something, Moll, but this looks far more spectacular than the usual sleigh rides.’

  ‘It’s all right,’ said Jamie, ‘we’re all on board and, actually, your arrival couldn’t be better timed. We’re a man down tonight so you can pick up the slack.’

  I refused to allow myself to think about the man he was referring to or start wondering whether his guest was succumbing to his heavenly kisses.

  ‘We better go and find Mum and Dad first,’ said Archie. ‘They’ve got no idea I’m back. Perhaps our long-distance love affair will surprise them,’ he said to Molly.

  ‘I wouldn’t bank on it,’ she smiled up at him. ‘Your parents have always been pretty intuitive when it comes to matters of the heart.’

  I hoped they hadn’t sussed out my shifting feelings towards Gabe, especially now they had shifted a long way back again.

  ‘Are you coming?’ asked Anna, turning to me as they all headed off to find Angus, Catherine and the others.

  ‘No,’ I said, shaking my head.

  ‘Sure?’

  ‘Yes,’ I nodded. ‘I’m fine. I’m going to have a mooch around and hand out some of these. I’ll meet you outside The Mermaid in time for the switch-on.’

  ‘As long as you’re sure?’

  ‘Absolutely,’ I insisted, ‘now go on before you lose sight of them.’

  Thanks to my previous successful and relatively stress-free trip into town to clear the air with Gavin, I felt fine on my own and enjoyed wandering through the market, handing out the flyers and making a start on some Christmas shopping. The Cherry Tree Café stall had drawn quite a crowd, but given the pretty crafts on sale and the wafting scent of Jemma’s irresistible iced and festively spiced buns, that was no surprise.

  ‘Just the person I was hoping to see!’ cried out the lady herself as she spotted me picking out some pretty presents for my girlfriends.

  She waited until I had paid, then steered me by the elbow to a slightly quieter spot. I had no idea what she wanted, but hadn’t forgotten my commitment to the Winter Wond
erland.

  ‘Before you say anything,’ I told her, ‘I must give you a couple of these. I know you guys are coming along with the caravan, but would you mind putting these up on the café community board, or even in the window?’

  ‘Of course,’ she grinned, looking at them with a more interested eye than I was expecting. ‘They’re what I wanted to talk to you about, actually.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ I asked, looking about me to see if anyone else was close enough to overhear our conversation.

  ‘What do you mean, what do I mean?’ she mimicked. ‘You designed these didn’t you, Hayley?’

  I swallowed hard and gripped the handles on my shopping bags a little tighter as my palms began to sweat.

  ‘Designed them, drew them up and painted them,’ she went on. ‘That is right, isn’t it?’ she added with a frown when I still didn’t say anything.

  ‘Yes,’ I said, my voice barely louder than a mouse’s squeak. ‘Yes,’ I tried again, a little louder, ‘I did, but how did you find out?’

  ‘That’s for me to know,’ she said mysteriously, ‘and you not to find out.’

  ‘Bloody Anna,’ I muttered, thinking I was really going to take her to task over this, especially as she knew how desperate I was to keep it all under wraps.

  ‘Not Anna, actually,’ said Jemma, looking back at the flyer again. ‘But what I really want to know is, why would you not want anyone to know that you can do this?’

  ‘Because,’ I bristled, ‘it isn’t something I do very often. Something I haven’t done for years, in fact, and I have no intention of making a habit out of it. Not a public one, anyway,’ I quickly added, as my thoughts tracked back to the conservatory studio I was in no hurry to abandon, even if Gabe wouldn’t be joining me in the evenings from now on. Not unless he came up with some quick and competent answers to the hundred plus questions that were whizzing about my brain, refusing to be silenced.