Everything She Wanted

by Jennifer Ryan

  “Good idea.” Tyler punched his numbers.

  Neither of them seemed to mind she’d hesitated to hand her son over to them. They were FBI, Ben’s friends, not crazed lunatics. Still, she felt better having their information just in case she needed them and Ben wasn’t with her.

  “Honey, go pack up anything you think Alex will need. Extra clothes and stuff. I’ll put the bottles and formula in a bag for Sam.”

  Kate left to do as he asked. Ben waited for her to enter their bedroom before turning back to his friends.

  Sam popped the back off Kate’s phone and put in a transmitter. “Here I thought it might be difficult to get her phone, and she just hands it over.”

  “You’re sure you can track it with that thing?”

  “On my phone, Tyler’s, and if you give me yours, I’ll set you up too. If that bastard takes her and she’s got her phone, we can find her,” Sam said.

  “Unless someone shuts off the phone, which is why we’ll put this one in her purse,” Tyler said, putting words to action.

  “Put the bottles and stuff together before she comes back and catches us,” Sam said.

  Ben tossed over his phone and let Sam do his thing. Alex lay on the couch next to Sam playing with Sam’s keys. Every time they jingled, he smiled and squealed.

  “Hey, I need those back, kiddo, if we’re going to drive home.” Sam pretended to try to take the keys. They jingled more, delighting Alex.

  Kate stood just inside the living room watching Sam, her shoulders tense, her grip on Alex’s bag so tight her knuckles went white. Alex kicked and squealed at Sam, loving the attention. Kate relaxed, and Ben let out the breath he’d been holding, hoping she agreed to go through with this.

  “I have his bag. He’ll want his stuffed dog and that purple ring he loves to chew on.”

  Sam grabbed both off the sofa and tucked them in the bag. Kate walked to the counter and grabbed a pen and the pad of paper next to the phone. She sat at the table writing, while Ben finished putting Alex’s food together.

  “Ben, what time did he eat this morning?”

  “Seven-­thirty.”

  “He’ll need another bottle about ten-­thirty. I’ve written down his schedule, how many ounces of milk he eats, the general routine we’ve got him on. His new favorite song to fall asleep to.” Kate smiled at Ben.

  “It’s still playing in my head.” Ben smiled back.

  “Which one does he like?” Sam asked.

  “ ‘Row Your Boat,’ ” Ben said. “Over and over again. He bobs his head to the words as he eats his last bottle of the night. It’s very cute.”

  Sam and Tyler both smiled and laughed.

  “No problem. I know that one. J.T. will be happy to sing it over and over again. He’s been on this nursery rhyme kick for weeks.” Sam picked Alex up from the sofa and handed him over to Kate. “Say bye-­bye to Mommy.”

  Kate held Alex close and kissed his face several times. Alex grabbed fistfuls of her hair and held on. “You be a good boy. No playing with guns. Say please and thank you. Try not to wake up more than once so Elizabeth can get some sleep.”

  “He’s going to be fine. We’ve got a playpen for him to sleep in right next to our bed. The alarm system on our place is the best you can get.”

  “If that’s not enough, Sam is armed,” Tyler assured her.

  Kate secured Alex in his car seat, tucked his favorite blanket around him, and handed him the stuffed puppy from out of his bag. She rose and looked at Ben. “You got the extra pacifier? He only likes those.”

  “I got it, plus the bottles. He’s all set.”

  “What about extra burp clothes?”

  “I put two in the bag. Kate, he’ll only be with Sam until tomorrow night. I promise, he will be safe.”

  “I know. Of course he’ll be safe. Sam has a gun. He’s FBI. It’s fine.”

  “You’re rambling, honey. Say goodbye.”

  She turned back to Sam. “Bye. Thank you. I appreciate this.”

  “Not as much as Ben will.” Sam winked. “Call anytime. As often as you like. I know how much I miss my munchkins when I’m working.”

  “It’s fine.” Kate leaned down and kissed Alex on the head again. “Be good. I love you.”

  Tyler stepped forward, carrying one of the bags and the base to Alex’s car seat. He patted Kate on the shoulder. “Don’t worry. He’s got two armed guards.”

  “Thank you.”

  “See you soon,” Sam said, stepping out into the hallway. Tyler took the lead to the elevator. Ben and Kate stood in the door until they got into the car and the doors closed. Ben pulled Kate back into the apartment and closed and locked the door.

  “I miss him already.”

  “I know you do, honey.” Ben took her hand and pulled her down the hall to their room. “Which is why I’m going to distract you from thinking about it.”

  “Don’t we need to make plans and go to my sister’s place?”

  Ben walked into the bedroom and pulled her around. She thumped into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and stared down into her questioning eyes. “Later. We never finished what we started this morning.” He slid his hands down her back and over her hips. He squeezed her ass and pulled her close. Her arms went up around his neck. He leaned in and nuzzled her neck, kissing her soft skin and inhaling her sweet scent.

  “Well, when last we left off, I was naked and I had you well in hand.”

  She always made him smile. “Yes, you did, darlin’.” Ben pulled her shirt up and over her head. He didn’t waste any time, unlatching her bra and sliding it down her arms. After that, his clothes, hers, went flying until they were both lying in bed naked, their bodies pressed together.

  Ben stared down at Kate.

  She pulled him down for a kiss. He kept things soft, light, no demand. He lingered over her lips, pressing his to hers, slipping his tongue past her lips in a long glide. She settled beneath him, let go of her anxiety about handing Alex over to Sam, and gave herself over to making love to him. Her hands slipped down his neck, under his arms, and around his back. She held him close, hugging him tight.

  Her feet skimmed up his calves, her thighs squeezed his hips. “I need you,” she pleaded.

  “What about your back? We can—­”

  “Shh. I’m fine.”

  He pressed his hard cock against her center, teasing her, tempting her. He kissed her neck, down over her shoulder, and back to her chest. He planted little kisses over her breast, then licked the underside in one long sweep ending at her hard nipple. He took the bud into his mouth and sucked hard. Her fingers dug into his back. Her hips rocked against his.

  He kissed his way to her other breast and took it into his mouth. The one he left got lost in his hand. He squeezed. She moaned and went limp beneath him.

  He reached down, wrapped his hand around her thigh, and squeezed. He slid his hand up her thigh to her hip, then pushed her thigh out wide and trailed his fingers over the sensitive skin and straight to her hot, wet core. Impatient to have her, he slid one finger into her slick center. She rocked her hips into his hand. He pulled his finger free, sliding it over her soft folds and up over her clit. Her nails bit into his back again. She sighed out his name.

  Desperate to have her, he answered that call to action and leaned to the side and snagged a condom out of the drawer beside the bed. Kate took advantage of his position and slid her hand down his taut belly and over his hard shaft. She wrapped her fingers around him and he bit back a groan. Her mouth pressed to his chest, her teeth sank in and nipped at his pec. She liked to give him love bites. He wanted her to do it again. “Ah, God, Kate. The things you do to me.”

  She bit him again and raked her nails down his side. The combination of the small hurt, the tingling that spread over his side, and her hand working up and down his cock nearly undid him
.

  He pried her hand off his dick and held it down above her head. He took her nipple and sucked hard. Her free hand slid over his head and gripped his hair, holding him to her.

  He couldn’t take any more of her sweet torture. He sucked her nipple and rose up until it pulled free of his lips. He tore the condom wrapper with his teeth and sheathed himself. All the while Kate never stopped touching him. Her hands rubbed up his chest, her lips pressed kisses to his neck, her thighs held on to him, making it nearly impossible to get the condom on. Once he did, he plunged into her welcoming heat to the hilt in one hard thrust. Kate’s head went back and a soft moan escaped her open lips. He took her mouth in a deep kiss, sliding his tongue along hers. Desperate, out of control, he pulled nearly free of her, then thrust back home. The sensations that swept over him lit a fuse on his restraint.

  Kate planted her heels in the bed, raised her hips, and pushed against him as he thrust deep. She fell back to the bed and pushed up her hips, meeting him as he came back to her again and again. Her hands smoothed down his back and over his ass. She squeezed and pulled him to her. He didn’t retreat this time, but grinded against her. She tilted and circled her hips, finding that spot that made her moan. He caught her rhythm, pulled out, then plunged back in, circling and rubbing against her clit.

  Balanced on one hand, he used the other to stroke her breast, squeeze it into his palm, and pluck at her hard nipple with his fingers.

  Kate panted beneath him, her body tightening, luring him to the peak. He refused to leap without her and thrust deep again. She contracted around him, letting out a soft moan. He thrust into her hard and fast and followed her over the edge and into oblivion.

  Ben collapsed on top of her, his breath sawing in and out at her neck. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close. She didn’t know what possessed her to be so aggressive, but he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, it seemed to set him off.

  Now, all she wanted to do was softly caress his back and run her fingers through his hair to soothe him. She wanted him close. She traced her fingers up his spine, featherlight. She made circles on his shoulders, then retraced the path back down his back to his very fine ass.

  “I like that,” he whispered, planting a soft kiss on her neck.

  “Yeah, I got a little rough. You might have some scratches on your back. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be.” He raised himself up on his forearms and stared down at her. “Don’t ever apologize for giving yourself over to me, trusting in me to let you know what I want, what I like, and what I don’t. You showed me what you wanted. I hope I gave you everything you needed. If not, all you have to do is ask, Kate. The time we share together like this should always be honest. I never want you to leave our bed unless you’re happy and satisfied.”

  “I am. You . . . The way we were together. It felt so raw and open and . . . I don’t know.”

  “Freeing.”

  “Yes. I wasn’t worried about what you’d think of my body, the way I touched you, the things I did. I just let go. I took in everything you gave me and I wanted to please you, but I also wanted to be a part of what you felt.”

  “First, your body is perfect. Made for me. We fit together, read each other, and complement each other. Never worry about the things you do, or the way you touch me. I loved it. I can’t wait to do it again.”

  “Me too.” She leaned up and kissed him softly. “I really never knew it could be like this.” She pulled him down and hugged him close, loving the feel of his skin pressed to hers. She brushed her fingers through his dark hair again and again.

  Ben kissed her neck, tilted his head back, and looked her in the eye. “It’s only going to get better.”

  She hoped he meant everything in their lives, because right now everything besides the two of them together seemed out of control and unsettled. She longed to stay in this bed, in his arms, and happy the rest of her life.

  Chapter Nineteen

  KATE STARED UP at the massive house from the front yard. The deep green grass and cheerful spring flowers didn’t take the edge off the sharp pain in her chest. Instead of the beautiful stone and wood home, all she saw was her sister and Donald lying dead on the floor in pools of crimson blood.

  Ben’s hands settled on her shoulders. His body pressed along the back of hers. His warmth eased the chill running up her spine. His presence made it easier to face going into this place again.

  “A part of me thinks I’ll knock on the door and she’ll answer with a smile on her face. She’ll hug me, and I’ll feel that connection we shared that, no matter what, I always have her.”

  “I’m sorry, honey. Remember you still have Alex. You have me.”

  She placed her hands over his on her shoulders and took a bolstering breath. He was right. She needed to move on, think of her future with him and Alex. She couldn’t continue to live in this limbo any longer.

  She glanced over at the planting bed under the window. “We planted the pansies and ferns when I was pregnant with Alex. We sat in the shade, talking about all our wishes and dreams for him.” She stared up over her shoulder at Ben. “It was such a good day.”

  Ben squeezed her close. “Let’s go in,” Ben coaxed.

  “I don’t want to see it again, but I guess I can’t avoid it any longer.”

  “Kate, I hired the cleaning crew after the police released the house. The scene is clean.”

  “You did?”

  “Yes. I couldn’t let you walk back in there and see that again. I know you’ll never forget, but I could at least do that for you.”

  She turned in his arms and hugged him close. “I don’t deserve you.”

  “You have to keep me all the same. I’m only happy when I’m with you.”

  “That’s sweet. You make a really good boyfriend. I’m surprised no one snatched you up before now.”

  “I was waiting for you.” He kissed her on top of the head. He did that a lot. She’d grown to expect it. She loved it. “Took you long enough to show up.”

  “Sorry. I had some things to work out before I got here. I didn’t believe in love until I saw Margo and Donald together. Now I get it. My heart unfroze and opened up when I had Alex. You saw the woman I was before. Distant. Reserved.”

  “I remember her. I kissed her once.”

  Kate frowned, thinking of the way she acted, running away from him like that. “It’s probably better this way. Ask any guy I ever dated before you—­I was cold.”

  “Can’t. I’d only kill them for touching you.”

  She squeezed his middle tighter and smiled against his chest. “Now you’re the only one who gets to touch me.”

  “You’re damn right about that.” His hands slid down her back and over her ass. He pulled her close. “You know we can’t stand out here all day. Stalling won’t change the house or what happened here.”

  Kate sucked in a deep breath, squeezed Ben’s sides, and bolstered her strength to let him go and face her past and find a way to move on. She turned and walked up the path to the door and used her key to go in. She stood in the foyer like she did that night and took in the feel of the house. Instead of an ominous vibe, she felt the emptiness. The void of a happy family living here.

  “You know, I never really got a look at this place when I came that night. It’s nice. Open. Bright. Big,” he said from beside her.

  “She loved it here. We decorated it together. It seemed so unreal. Her living in this big house. I mean, we grew up with nothing but what we could fit in a suitcase to go to the next foster home, so having something as grand as this, well, you can imagine we were overwhelmed at first. Then we really got into it. She picked the art on the walls. I picked out the sofas.”

  “She was the more artsy, make things pretty person. You’re the practical one.”

  Kate nodded. “Yes. Exactly.”

  “Donald didn�
�t help with the decorations.”

  “Sure he did. He paid the bills, smiling at Margo like the money didn’t matter, but seeing her happy meant everything.”

  “I know how he feels.” Ben squeezed her hand.

  “He’d come in, see us pouring over magazines and fabric swatches and give us this huge indulgent smile and shake his head.

  “We laughed over ridiculous patterns that reminded us of things from our past long forgotten and better left in another era. When we’d hit an antique store or some boutique, we’d ooh and aah over things and bring them home and put them in their perfect spot.”

  “I’ve spoken with Donald’s lawyer at length. This house is yours free and clear.”

  “You mean it’s Alex’s.”

  “No. Yours. Your sister left it to you. You said it yourself—­you helped make this place the beautiful home you both always wanted. She made you a part of this home, included you in all the decorating decisions, because you were a very important part of her life.”

  Kate lived vicariously through her sister whether she wanted to acknowledge it or not. This house had been such a dream. The beauty and hominess they created here was exactly what Kate always wanted for herself. Now, it belonged to her, but how could she keep it?

  “I can’t afford to keep this place.” The sadness engulfed her. She hated to think she’d have to sell the house and lose the tangible evidence of all her memories.

  “You can use the money Donald left to Alex.”

  “No. That wouldn’t be right. It’s for him.”

  “I can afford the taxes and upkeep on this place.” Ben stared down at her.

  The softly spoken statement was filled with a longing she felt. Wishful thinking, or a chance for a real life. A happy life. “Ben . . .”

  “Hear me out. I know what I want. To be with you and Alex. I think you want the same thing. My place is fine for now. But it’s small. We’d have to turn the spare room from my office into Alex’s room. I don’t mind, but that means I have to move my office into the living space. I work from home a lot, especially at night. The building I live in is safe enough, but not really kid friendly. The nearest park is, like, five miles away. Parking sucks in the city.”