Silence of Stars

by Holly J. Wood

  I shook my head. It was impossible not to return a smile like that. “Let’s get some food.”

  We chose our meals and carried them over to where Gideon, Cypris and Nadia sat.

  Cypris beamed. “I’m so happy for you two!” she gushed, turning to Nadia. “They really make the sweetest couple, don’t you think?”

  Before Nadia could answer, I set my tray down firmly. “We’re not a couple.”

  Cypris’ green eyes widened and she gave a little smile. “Maybe not yet, but it’s inevitable. Lieutenant Hardcastle has a perfect record when it comes to Team Captains.”

  Rusty cocked an eyebrow and I turned to Gideon. He had a death grip on his utensil.

  “What’s she talking about?” I asked him.

  He didn’t answer, so Cypris leaned forward, staring at me with her big doe eyes. “You mean you don’t know?”

  “I don’t think this is a good idea right now,” Nadia said, giving her friend a look which she ignored.

  “Don’t know what?” Rusty asked.

  Cypris glanced at him and lowered her lashes. “You two weren’t paired by mistake. The lieutenant always picks Captains who are compatible for one another—as in perfectly compatible. Basically soul-mates. It’s obvious that you already feel drawn to each other.”

  I placed my napkin on the table, my stomach muscles squeezing so hard I couldn’t breathe. I saw the veins sticking out on Gideon’s forearms and thought he might snap his metal utensil right in half.

  “What do you mean? Why would she do that?” Rusty asked. I could feel his gaze on me, no question in his voice about the circumstances. He’d already told me he had feelings for me. I felt a connection to him too, but nothing like I felt for Gideon.

  “I don’t know all the reasons behind it, but I do know that once you return home, you two will be like—” she held up two fingers, linked them together and winked. “Maybe even sooner.”

  Gideon dropped his utensil and stood. “I’ll catch you guys after lunch.” He whisked his tray off the table and strode away before any of us had time to react.

  “Did I say something wrong?” Cypris asked, pouting.

  Nadia glared at her. “You didn’t have authorization to tell them that, Pris. Now Gideon has to clean up the mess. Look at Lark—you’ve practically traumatized her.” She pointed at me and I realized my mouth was hanging open as I watched Gideon’s retreat. I had to talk to him. Without saying anything, I jumped up from the table and darted after him.

  “Hey, nobody asked me what I thought,” Rusty called after me. “In case you’re wondering—I’m cool with it.”

  I ignored him and followed Gideon into the Atrium.

  “Gideon!” My voice echoed along the glass walls and several Recruits turned to stare.

  He stopped and turned, but didn’t look at me. He folded his arms and leaned against the wall as he waited for me to catch up.

  “What was that all about?” I asked, working to steady my breathing. “She was just making that up, right?”

  When he looked at me, his eyes were like smoldering sapphires. Without saying anything, he reached for my cuff and turned off the recording button. “No. What she said was true. You and Rusty—” he shook his head once and looked away. “You’re supposed to be together. It’s part of the plan for reintegration.”

  I put a hand to my forehead. “Part of the plan? I’m sorry, but that makes zero sense. Like I have no choice in who I fall in love with now?” I shook my head. “It doesn’t work like that on our planet.”

  He pulled me around the wall to a secluded corner, holding my arms as he pierced me with his eyes. “You can honestly tell me you don’t have feelings for him?”

  “I care for him, Gideon, but I’m not in love with him.” I’m in love with you. I held his gaze, willing him to hear me say it. The air between us went still as he watched me reach for a strand of my hair, twisting it around my finger. I wanted him to say it—needed him to speak the words to my mind.

  He closed his eyes and ran both hands through his hair as he took a step back. “I can’t, Lark.”

  I stepped closer, touching his arm. “Please,” I whispered. Everything inside of me burned with the desire to hear his Mindspeak; begged him to complete the part of me that only he could fill.

  “I can’t.”

  When he opened his eyes, my heart stopped. The mask was gone and in his eyes I saw what he’d been hiding: more than pain—it was agony. I thought of Nadia’s words about Mindspeak and realized what Claiming me had cost him.

  I dropped my hand, my voice catching. “Gideon, I’m so sorry. If I’d known, I never would have asked you.”

  “Don’t.” He grabbed my hand, his light blazing through me like a streak of fire before he dropped it again. “You have nothing to apologize for. It was my choice, and I would make it again—a thousand times over—but it has to stop now.” He looked away, his jaw set. “I’ve been selfish; craving a connection to you no matter the cost. But any cost that could end up hurting you is too high.”

  “I can handle myself,” I said, straightening my shoulders. “If it’s me you’re worried about, just stop. I’ll be fine.” The truth was, I would come apart at every seam without him. He was becoming my oxygen. The very blood in my veins. I raised my chin. “I can see that you’re hurting,” I swallowed, barely able to get the words past my throat. “I won’t do that to you.”

  I looked down at my hands to avoid his gaze. “Nadia told me about Mindspeak. She said a person could go crazy if they Claimed someone and didn’t hear it back.” I braved a glance at him through my lashes. “Is that true?”

  His gaze was steady as he looked at me for several moments, his face unreadable. “Yes.”

  I closed my eyes, wishing that gesture alone could block out the truth; could keep the pieces of me that were shattering inside from total collapse as reality hit with full force. I couldn’t have Gideon. Ever. I couldn’t hurt him anymore than I already had. From now on, I couldn’t hear his voice in my soul, couldn’t satisfy the ache to feel his touch on my skin.

  I squeezed my hands into fists to keep them from shaking as I opened my eyes. After the unimaginable pain he’d been suffering, I wouldn’t add to it by falling apart in front of him. I had to be strong, but the anguish I saw in his eyes before he looked away almost did me in.

  “I should request to have you assigned a new Guardian,” he said, his Adam’s apple bobbing once.

  My heart seized in panic. “No!” I gripped his arm. A group of Recruits walked by, eyeing us curiously. I smoothed my expression and dropped my hand. “That won’t be necessary.”

  The Recruits moved on. Gideon regarded me a moment longer, his eyes conflicted. I reached for him again, catching myself at the last moment and dropping my hand back to my side. “I’ll be okay without the Mindspeak, but if you were to leave me altogether . . .” I trailed off, fighting the tears that blurred my vision.

  Gideon looked down, his voice going soft. “In three weeks, we’ll never see each other again, Lark. It would be easier for you if I broke the connection now.”

  I bit my lip and looked away, bracing myself for the impact that would demolish what rubble was left of my heart.

  “But I can’t do it,” he said quietly.

  My eyes flicked to his, afraid to believe what I’d just heard.

  His face tilted down, forcing me to keep eye contact. “The thought of someone else being your Guardian—” he shook his head. “It makes me crazy. I’ll stay.”

  I released the breath I’d been holding.

  His eyes searched mine before he squared his jaw and glanced away again. “But only if you promise to give Rusty a chance. I won’t get in your way.”

  My face went slack. “No. I won’t promise that.”

  “That’s the only condition. Otherwise, I’ll have to find a replacement.”

  I crossed my arms. “You can’t make me feel something for someone t
hat I don’t. And even if you could—why is everyone so set on me being with him? Why Rusty?”

  “You heard Cypris. You two are compatible for each other. It’s for the best.” He turned to look at me, his eyes slowly hardening as he resumed the mask.

  “Right, because I’m supposed to find my soul mate at sixteen,” I scoffed. I tossed my hair and swallowed down the stupid lump in my throat. Truth was, I’d already found him. There would never be anyone else for me.

  Gideon squared his shoulders. “Our next class is Construction. Are you ready?”

  I glanced away and shook my head. “I need a minute. I’ll meet you there.”

  He looked like he wanted to say more but didn’t. “The map on how to get there is in your cuff.” He reached over, turning the record button on. “I’ll see you in a few minutes.” His eyes skittered to mine for a moment before he turned and walked off.

  I stood motionless. Every cell in my body screamed to run after Gideon and beg him to reconsider, to love me the way I loved him. I would endure any form of torture to hear him Mindspeak to me again. But that was just it—it wasn’t me who would suffer. I would be filled with everything Gideon had to give, and he would be left with nothing in return. The torment I’d seen in his eyes would haunt me forever.

  Hot tears spilled onto my cheeks. I made a beeline for the nearest girls’ room. I would cry myself sick later, but for now I had to keep it together.

  The stalls were all empty, so I took the farthest one and locked the door. I cupped a hand over my mouth, breathing in and out several times. I grabbed some toilet paper and wiped the few traitorous tears that I hadn’t been able to control.

  Someone entered the bathroom. I took in several more calming breaths and left the stall. Clara, from Cooking, stood in front of the mirror smoothing out her strawberry blonde hair. She smiled when she saw me.

  “Hello, Captain Taylor.”

  I waved a hand, attempting a smile in return. “Hi.”

  Her smile quickly faded as she stepped closer. “You look upset. What’s wrong?”

  I forced my smile to stay in place. “I’m fine.”

  Her eyebrows drew together above her screens. Without saying anything, she closed the distance between us and wrapped her thin arms around me. “It’s okay—I miss it too. It’s hard to be away from home for so long.”

  I closed my eyes and squeezed back, a few more tears leaving trails down my cheeks. “Thanks.” The hug was exactly what I needed. My cuff buzzed and I pulled away from her to check the screen. It was a message from Rusty.

  Where are you? Class is about to start.

  I looked up at Clara with a watery smile. “I have to go, but thanks for being a shoulder to cry on.”

  She tilted her head. “You and Captain Harris lift our spirits more than you know. It’s the least I can do.”

  Her words caught me off guard, but I took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “We’ll be back on Earth soon enough.” The thought gave me no pleasure, but I hoped it would help her.

  She nodded and I waved as I turned to leave, pulling up the map to the Construction class as I walked. I wasn’t sure if what Clara said was true. All Rusty and I had done was observe classes. But for the first time, I felt like I’d made a friend among the Recruits. And that was enough to keep me going for now.

  CHAPTER

  Twenty-Three

  After Construction—which had been more like actual building construction and less like the wood shop I’d imagined—and a medical class, school was out for the day. The halls of the Academy filled with talking Recruits and Guardians as Slade, Gideon, Rusty and I followed the flow of traffic to the Atrium.

  Gideon walked several paces ahead so Rusty and I would have space. Gideon hadn’t spoken to me at all since lunch, and I decided to be irritated with him. Anger was easier to deal with than pain.

  “That Medical class was fascinating. I’m impressed with how advanced the Recruits were,” Rusty said.

  I nodded. “I know. It’s been that way with all of the classes. It seems like only the best of the best have been selected for each unit.”

  Slade snorted. “That’s kind of the point.”

  Apparently he hadn’t gotten the memo to give Rusty and me space. Not that it mattered. We’d gotten used to ignoring him and his constant sarcasm.

  “Looks like tomorrow we’re observing Combat, Chemistry, and Political Science.” Rusty scrolled down his cuff. “I’m excited for Combat. Maybe I’ll finally get to use the armor function on my uniform.”

  Slade rolled his eyes. “If that’s what gets you excited, bro.” He slowed his pace as we neared the Atrium and turned to face us. “Are you two getting an Orb together? Because I can order a two-seater with tinted windows.” His eyes roamed over me before he gave Rusty a sneer. “It won’t hurt you to ditch your Guardians just this once.”

  Rusty cleared his throat, his face turning red. “Is that, um—authorized?”

  “Actually, I’m headed up to the Flight Deck,” I cut in before Slade could answer.

  They both turned to me. Slade cocked an eyebrow. “Who gave you clearance?”

  “Skye.” I didn’t feel like he needed further explanation so I turned to Rusty. “Sorry . . . I was going to tell you. She knew how much I wanted to see the airships so she got special permission.”

  He shifted his weight, disappointment clear in his hazel eyes as he smiled. “That’s awesome. Take some video so I can see it later.”

  “Definitely.” I smiled back, sensing Gideon’s nearness before he spoke.

  “Are you ready?”

  I nodded without looking at him. Nadia and Cypris were on his heels. Nadia beamed at Slade. “Do you want to take an Orb with us?”

  Slade’s eyes darted to her and back at us, hesitating. “Actually, I forgot I had some business on the Flight Deck.” He turned to Nadia. “Would you do me a huge favor and drop off my Recruit for me?” He raised one eyebrow and gave her a rakish smile. “I’ll make it up to you.”

  I almost gagged.

  Nadia giggled. “Sure. Catch up with you later?”

  He winked at her.

  Gideon glared, shaking his head. “Your ‘Recruit’ is a Captain, and he has a name. It’s your responsibility to watch out for him, not Nadia’s.”

  Rusty raised a hand. “It’s cool.” His eyes cut to Slade. “I’m used to it.”

  I gave him an apologetic look and he made a half-smile in return.

  “I’ll order a three-seater,” Cypris huffed. Her delicate features pulled into a frown as she tapped on her cuff. I was surprised she didn’t bail on Nadia to spend more time with Gideon. Maybe she was a better friend than I thought.

  Slade turned to us. “Since you guys are already heading up there, I’ll follow you.”

  I had a feeling Slade’s “business” had to do with whatever offer he’d made Skye earlier. The three of us were silent as we worked our way to the Cavern. My heart rate sped up as we reached the Observation Deck and continued on to the elevator leading to the Flight Deck. Gideon scanned his cuff at the elevator door. It opened immediately, and I bounced on my heels as we made our ascent. Gideon turned to me, a whisper of a smile on his lips. “Excited?”

  I shrugged, still not willing to let go of the irritation that was holding my heart like a safety net. The corner of his mouth twitched, which made me feel juvenile—which made me more annoyed. But I wasn’t about to let my irritation ruin this experience.

  As soon as the elevator doors slid open, my jaw dropped. I thought we were on the very top of the mountain, but we were on a flat surface and the mountain peaks reached even higher above us. Pavement stretched almost as far as the eye could see.

  And it was completely covered with airships.

  “Lark!” Skye trilled.

  My eyes were glued to the ships and I barely noticed her as she jogged toward us, Isabel trailing behind.

  “This. Is,” I let out a tiny
squeal and held my hands up to my face, “so cool!”

  Gideon chuckled.

  “Yeah,” Slade breathed.

  I turned, surprised by the intensity of his response. He was staring at Skye as she approached. She looked like some sort of Greek goddess with her perfect figure and shiny blonde hair falling in waves around her shoulders. I almost felt sorry for Slade. Skye didn’t even see him as she bounced up to Gideon.

  “I’m so glad you could make it!” She pried her sparkling eyes off him long enough to look at me. “What do you think?”

  I scanned the deck, taking in all of the different types of airships. So many sizes and sleek styles. I could spend all day out here and not even scratch the surface. “Can we get a closer look?”

  Skye laughed. “That’s why you came up here, silly.” Her smile faded as she looked past me to Slade. “Oh . . . Slade. I didn’t expect to see you here.”

  Isabel gave him a dirty look. If he noticed, he made no sign. The guy was totally clueless when it came to body language. Either that, or he didn’t care. He must have banked on his good looks to compensate for bad behavior, which worked on Nadia. Not so much on Skye.

  He stepped forward, pulling her aside. “I came to find out your answer.”

  Skye’s eyes darted to me, pleading. She looked like a trapped animal, and I broke.

  Gideon was standing a few feet off, watching the exchange between me and Skye. He raised an eyebrow as I stepped over and whispered, “Will you pretend you already asked Skye to the dance? She needs an out.”

  His eyes darkened and for a moment I thought he was going to say no. I secretly wanted him to. He glanced first at me and then over to Skye. She was stalling for time as she fumbled to come up with a response for Slade.

  “Okay,” he whispered back.

  My heart plummeted, but I turned and nodded at Skye.

  Her shoulders sagged in relief as she turned to Slade. “What I mean to say is, thank you for offering, but I already have a date.”

  “With who?”

  I couldn’t see Slade’s face but the venom in his tone was unmistakable.

  Gideon’s eyes flicked to mine. He shook his head slowly and straightened. “With me.”