Ghost of Spirit Bear

by Ben Mikaelsen

  Cole and Peter were still talking about the island as they reached the front lawn of the school. Suddenly a loud voice behind them shouted, “Hey, look, it’s the psycho and the gimp!”

  Cole turned as a gang of five boys approached. He recognized several of them.

  “They were the ones who hassled me yesterday,” Peter whispered.

  Keith, the one leading the rest, was a big kid. Cole remembered kicking his butt in a fight two years earlier.

  “Wh-wh-why don’t you guys just leave us alone,” Peter said.

  “Wh-wh-why don’t you just shut your face, retard,” Keith said, giving Peter a shove. “We don’t like gimps.”

  Fear showed in Peter’s eyes, and Cole stepped forward. “We haven’t done anything to you. Leave Peter alone,” he said, his hands tightening into fists.

  “Oh, so now you’re telling us what to do,” said Eddy, a shorter boy with tight curly hair. “Bad mistake.” Eddy shoved Peter and sent him sprawling to the ground.

  Cole’s heart pounded fast and his face felt hot. He tried to stay calm, but nothing could control what he was feeling. All his life he had been made to feel helpless. Now, seeing the bullies hurt his defenseless friend, Cole’s anger exploded. “Your mistake, Eddy,” he said, giving the boy a sudden shove that knocked him to the ground beside Peter.

  “Don’t fight!” Peter screamed. “Let them beat me up!”

  Keith turned and punched Cole hard in the stomach.

  Cole swung back viciously with all his might, catching Keith’s face. As he swung a second time, a shrill whistle sounded. The football coach came running across the lawn. “Every one of you to the principal’s office,” he shouted.

  At first nobody moved.

  “Now!” the coach bellowed.

  As Cole helped Peter to his feet, he turned. “Coach,” he pleaded. “I was only trying to—”

  “Save your excuses!” the coach snapped.

  Chapter 3

  COLE AND PETER waited anxiously with Keith and his friends in the main office.

  “You guys squeal on us, you’re roadkill,” Keith said.

  Cole and Peter ignored him.

  Ten minutes passed before the principal walked in. “So what happened?” she asked, handing some paperwork to the secretary.

  “Nuthin’,” Keith said. “We were just minding our business and these two started calling us names. They came over and shoved us—we were just defending ourselves.”

  The principal turned to Cole and Peter. “Is that what happened?”

  Keith shot Peter a menacing look.

  Trembling, Peter nodded.

  “Is that what happened?” she asked again, looking at Cole.

  Cole hung his head, refusing to answer. Nothing he said would help. This lady, with her lipstick, fingernail polish, and heels, would never understand.

  The principal examined all seven of them. “You five go wait in my office,” she said to Keith and his gang. “I’ll speak to you in a few minutes. Peter, I want you to go to class.” When the rest had left, she motioned Cole into a side room. “You wait there while I call your parole officer.”

  “But I didn’t start the fight,” Cole pleaded.

  “It takes two to fight.”

  “Like I had a choice,” Cole said in desperation. “If I screw up even once, I go to jail.”

  She looked at him sharply. “Well, you just screwed up,” she said, walking toward her office.

  Cole entered the room and slumped into a chair, smoldering with anger. Inside he felt the monster raging—the one who had hurt Peter. Now it wanted to break something or hurt somebody. This hadn’t been his fault!

  It was nearly an hour before Garvey arrived. He entered the small room where Cole sat waiting and stared at him for a long moment before he spoke. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!” he said. “Why did you allow this?”

  “I didn’t allow anything!” Cole said angrily. “I was—”

  “Save it,” Garvey snapped.

  “Don’t you even want to know what happened?”

  “Exactly what you let happen,” Garvey said.

  Cole clenched his fists. “You don’t get it, do you? I didn’t start anything.”

  “Why are you afraid of other people?” Garvey asked.

  “I’m not!” Cole snapped. “I don’t care if those creeps beat me up. I’m here because they picked on Peter.”

  Garvey shook his head. “No, you’re here because of how you reacted to them picking on Peter.”

  “What’s the difference?”

  Garvey pulled up a chair across from Cole. His voice became deliberate. “The bullies picking on you this morning is something that happened outside your body.”

  “Uh, duh, brilliant, Einstein.”

  Garvey ignored him. “You can’t control things outside your body, so don’t try. You learned that on the island.”

  “So what should I have done this morning?”

  “Control your reality—what happens inside your body. I’m talking about how you react. That’s real control.” Garvey studied Cole as if he were a puzzle. “Ever notice that if you walk into a grocery store happy, everyone else seems happy?” he said. “If you go in mad, everybody seems mad, and yet it’s the same people.”

  “I don’t see what you’re getting at. This isn’t a grocery store. Those jerks won’t be nice if I smile at them.”

  “Okay, let’s try again. If a semi truck roars past you on the highway, is that your reality?”

  “I suppose,” Cole allowed.

  “No!” Garvey challenged. “If you choose to step in front of that semi, you create one ugly reality for yourself. If you choose to wave to the driver, that creates a whole different reality. Either way the truck just passed by you. How you react creates your real reality. You’re not here this morning because of what some bully did. You’re here because of how you reacted to the bullies.”

  “Don’t you see, I didn’t have any choice,” Cole insisted.

  “By fighting back, you gave them the control and power they wanted.” Garvey stood. “Stand up. I want to show you something.”

  When Cole rose, Garvey shoved him back into his chair. “I’m pretty strong, aren’t I?” he said, smiling.

  “You just surprised me.”

  “Okay, stand up again.”

  Hesitantly, Cole stood.

  “Are you stronger than me?” Garvey challenged.

  Cole shrugged.

  “Let’s find out. Go ahead, push me.”

  “I’m not going to hurt you,” Cole said.

  “Believe me, you won’t hurt me,” Garvey said. “I’ve raised two teenage daughters. Go ahead, shove me.”

  Cole shoved. When he did, Garvey backed up and Cole hardly touched him.

  “That was lame,” Garvey taunted. “Shove like a man.”

  Angrily, Cole shoved harder. Again Garvey backed away, only this time he put out a foot and tripped Cole. At the same time he jerked on Cole’s arm, sending him sprawling to the floor.

  “Why did you do that?” Cole demanded, scrambling to his feet.

  “You tell me,” Garvey said. “You’re this strong macho guy who says he’s going to protect Peter. Shoot, you can’t even protect yourself. Look who ended up on the floor. Don’t you see, when I shoved you, you resisted me, which made me strong.”

  “So what’s your point?”

  “When you shoved me, I backed away from you, which took away your strength and threw you off balance. I could never have tripped you if you hadn’t tried to shove me first. I used your strength to beat you.”

  Cole stared sullenly at Garvey as he sat down.

  Garvey shook his head. “You know better than anyone that kids like Keith are the most insecure students in school. I didn’t make that up—that’s just a simple fact. They’re not stronger than you.”

  Cole rubbed at his neck. “So tell me exactly what I should have done this morning. I have to protect Peter, but if I fight again, the Circle won’t giv
e me another chance.”

  “The Circle doesn’t mind you fighting, but don’t use your fists.”

  “I can’t just sit down on the ground.”

  Garvey shrugged. “Actually, sitting on the ground might have helped. What satisfaction would you get from kicking or beating up somebody who’s not fighting back? My guess is you wouldn’t be here right now.”

  “No, I’d be in the nurse’s office,” Cole said. “You’re dead wrong. I always used to beat up kids who wouldn’t fight back.”

  “When the bear attacked you, did you fight back?”

  Cole nodded.

  “Did it help?”

  Cole shook his head, remembering how fighting back had only angered the big creature.

  “When did the Spirit Bear let you touch him?”

  “When I was gentle. But here nobody trusts me.”

  “Trust has to be earned one person at a time, one day at a time. You’ve changed, but you have to decide what you’re going to do around people who haven’t changed.”

  “It’s hard without the pond, the totems, and our ancestor rocks. I feel helpless.”

  The weathered creases on Garvey’s face looked chiseled as he pointed to his head. “The real ponds, totems, and ancestor rocks are up here now. You have total control.”

  Cole gave up arguing. “So what happens now?”

  “Thursday evening the Circle meets with you again,” Garvey said, referring to the community members who had originally decided Cole’s fate when he applied for Circle Justice before going to the island. “Now they’ll decide if your banishment worked.”

  “Will I go to jail for what happened today?” Cole asked.

  Garvey shrugged. “It depends. You had it easy on the island with nobody in your face.” Garvey rapped his fingers on the table. “I went through banishment at your age and thought it was successful until I returned home. And then everything went to hell. I wasn’t strong enough to keep the peace I found on the island. Surviving up there turned out to be the easiest part.”

  “Why were you sent to the island?”

  Garvey didn’t answer. He looked at his watch. “Hey, I have to go. I’ll talk to your principal about this morning, and I’ll see you at Circle on Thursday evening.”

  “Does my dad know about the meeting?”

  “I called him—he said he was too busy.”

  “Sounds like Dad.”

  Garvey looked Cole straight in the eyes. “I’m pretending this morning never happened,” he said. “It better not happen again.”

  But Cole knew it would happen again. People like Keith didn’t just stop being jerks.

  At lunch, Keith passed behind Cole as he sat eating. “You’re dead meat!” he whispered.

  Two tables away, Cole recognized the thin, brown-haired girl who had been called a slut the morning before. She sat with her head lowered, trying to ignore two girls who crowded her from both sides, laughing as they grabbed french fries from her plate. Without thinking, Cole walked over. “Knock it off!” he said.

  The girls moved away, making snide faces.

  The thin girl looked up at him fearfully.

  “Those girls are jerks,” Cole said.

  “So are the idiots that picked on you this morning,” she said.

  “Did you see that?” Cole asked, sitting down.

  She nodded. “Why were they picking on you?”

  “I guess I kind of have a reputation. How about you—why were those girls picking on you?”

  “They don’t need a reason.”

  A loud bell signaled the end of the school day. Cole met Peter outside, glad the second day of school had ended.

  “Hey, what happened after I left this morning?” Peter asked.

  “The principal called Garvey.”

  “Was he mad?”

  “He wasn’t happy,” Cole said. “How was your day?”

  “I kept getting shoved in the hallway. Every time Eddy saw me, he knocked the books out of my hands.”

  “Keith told me I was dead meat.”

  Peter grew thoughtful. “This sounds funny, but I think I w-w-was a little to blame for you beating me up.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I was a doormat,” Peter said. “I always let people walk on me.”

  “But you stand up for yourself more than you used to,” Cole said, remembering Peter defying his mother and father.

  “That’s true,” Peter said. “Hey, are you up for carrying our ancestor rocks again?”

  Cole hesitated. “Isn’t there a better way?”

  “Are you scared?”

  “I’m scared of getting in trouble before the Circle meets,” Cole said. “But if you really want to, okay.”

  It was a quick walk to the abandoned building. Cole paused outside. “Hey, Peter, when we carry the bowling balls today, we have to think more about our ancestors and about our past.”

  Peter agreed. “And we have to pretend we’re dropping our anger away.”

  Glancing around, they slipped inside and waited for their eyes to adjust to the dim light. Then they crossed the lobby to the stairwell where they had left the bowling balls. “Where are they?” Cole said, glancing around.

  Peter checked under the steps. “Somebody took them.”

  “Who would steal something like that?”

  “Nobody even knew they were here.” Peter peered down the darkened stairwell that led to the basement. “Maybe they’re down there.”

  “I’m not going there to look!” Cole exclaimed.

  “You big chicken,” Peter said, starting down.

  “I’m a big live chicken,” Cole said. “Don’t be crazy!”

  Peter paused to listen. “Th-th-there’s nobody here.”

  “Then why are you going so slow?”

  “It’s dark—I don’t want to trip.” Peter descended cautiously into the darkness.

  “I don’t like this!” Cole called down.

  “I found them,” Peter called back, returning up the stairs with his bowling ball. “They were on the bottom step.”

  “Where’s mine?”

  “Go get your own.”

  Cole tiptoed down, grabbed his ball, and rushed back up. “This place really gives me the creeps—I’m out of here.”

  “I think we should still carry our ancestor rocks,” Peter said stubbornly.

  “And what if some mass murderer is hiding upstairs waiting to attack us?” Cole tried to sound like he was kidding.

  Peter headed up the stairs on his own. “W-w-wait here if you don’t dare.”

  Reluctantly Cole followed. “Don’t forget to think about your ancestors.”

  As he climbed, Cole reminded himself of all the generations of people who had lived and died before him to create his life. Just as he had on the island, he thought of the events that made him who he had become, the beatings by his father, all the fights at school, the arrests, the Circle meetings, going to the island, the mauling, discovering beauty and forgiveness, and now being here with Peter. And then Cole thought about his own future. He still hadn’t seen or heard anything from his father.

  Floor by floor they worked their way up. Suddenly Peter stopped. “I heard something.”

  Cole paused. “It’s your imagination,” he said, passing Peter on the stairs. “Now who’s chicken?” He led the rest of the way to the top. “Okay, let’s drop these things and get out of here.”

  Carefully Peter balanced his ball in the broken window. “We have to remember we’re getting rid of our anger,” he said, then shoved hard.

  Cole looked out in time to see the impact, and then he gave his own ball a heave. As he watched it plummet down, his anger at Keith still smoldered.

  Chapter 4

  COLE AND PETER circled quickly down the steps, floor after floor, until they reached the lobby. Peter headed straight for the broken doors, but Cole stopped him with a loud whisper, “Hey, Peter, look!”

  A grocery cart piled high with junk was par
ked in the hallway. “Isn’t that the cart the old homeless guy was pushing?” Peter whispered.

  “It wasn’t here when we came in,” Cole said. “He must live in the basement!”

  “I told you I heard something.”

  Both boys rushed from the building and across the overgrown lawn toward the street. “Forget the bowling balls,” Cole said.

  “Do you think he lives there?” Peter asked, hobbling.

  “It’s probably where he stores his victims.”

  “Quit it! I’m being serious.”

  When they reached a stoplight and paused to catch their breaths, Peter said, “Cole, maybe that old g-g-guy is scared of us, too.”

  “We haven’t done anything to him.”

  “He hasn’t hurt us either. I wonder what happened to make him homeless?”

  “Who knows. What happened to make Keith a bully?” Cole said.

  “If we run into those guys again, you should just run,” Peter said. “Then only one of us gets beat up.”

  “That’s dumb,” Cole said sharply. “We’re friends, aren’t we?”

  Peter scratched his chin in thought and then broke into a smile. “I think I have a secret weapon.”

  “It’s not a gun or a knife, is it?” Cole asked.

  “No, I’ll bring my cell phone to school.”

  “So you can call the ambulance after we get beat up?”

  “Don’t be a jerk. Listen—we’re not allowed to use cell phones in school, but it’s not illegal to carry them. I’ll get the principal’s number somewhere, then I’ll program it in so all I have to do is push the Send button and it will dial automatically. I won’t even have to take the phone out of my pocket. I have one of those little microphones that I’ll clip inside my shirt. If we get attacked, I’ll reach in my pocket and push the button. The principal will hear everything that happens.”

  “I don’t think it’ll work,” Cole said.

  “You have a better idea?”

  Cole had to admit that he didn’t.

  * * *

  Wednesday morning, Cole struggled with his thoughts and emotions as he sat in the freezer. What if his time on the island had been a waste? Every day his anger seemed to come back stronger. What if he was nothing more than a big screwup?