The Princess Affair

by Nell Stark

  With a grimace, she bent back to her work. Each time she ripped up another sheet of rot, she felt a small burst of satisfaction. There was nothing quite like demolition work to clear the frustrated mind. When Declan had casually mentioned that he was thinking of turning his barn into a studio, she had leapt at the chance to begin the project—to do something constructive and physical and real. The day was unseasonably warm, and she had stripped down to her black tank top. Both her shirt and her tan Carhartts were streaked with grime. She probably looked completely unlike a woman who had recently been hobnobbing with royalty.

  “You don’t belong in that world,” she muttered as she pried up another decayed board. “You never did.”

  Her first day back home had been the worst. While the citizens of Pearl River—many of whom were law enforcement officers or first responders in New York City—had banded together to frustrate the media’s attempts to get close to Kerry’s family, the sensationalist press had found other ways to intrude into her life. Declan had temporarily disconnected his land line, and Kerry had been obliged to buy a new cell phone. Her e-mail inbox had also completely exploded. At least she could take comfort in the knowledge that the media would soon forget all about her—especially now that Arthur had regained consciousness.

  The thought almost made her smile. Sasha must be so happy. So relieved. Despite knowing it was impossible, Kerry wished she could be sharing her joy right now. She had even caught herself wondering whether Arthur’s recovery might free Sasha to reach out. But that line of thinking would only lead to disappointment. She had to toughen up and face the facts. Even before Arthur’s injury, Sasha had never been planning to go public with their relationship. The sooner she accepted that, grieved for it, and tried to move on, the better.

  After replacing the warped metal with a new tin sheet, Kerry focused on the placement of her nail and then carefully raised her hammer. Maybe in some ways, this whole debacle had been a blessing in disguise. She hadn’t felt this close to her immediate family—or to her community—since coming out. She owed everyone a debt of gratitude for the way in which they had embraced and protected her, despite her notoriety. Giving back by helping Declan with his barn was only the first step. The elementary school had a leaky roof, the firehouse needed to replace several of its windows, and the library was sorely overdue for a fresh coat of paint. While she was looking for jobs, she could easily lend a hand around town.

  With swift and efficient strokes, she pounded the nail into the joist. Once she was finished, she looked up again, wondering whether she should go lend Declan a hand. And then her heart stopped as Sasha walked out the back door of the house, skirting the edge of the deck and stepping onto the brick path leading to the barn.

  The hammer slipped through nerveless fingers, and she barely managed to grab hold again before it could fall on her foot. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t blink. Her head buzzed and her thoughts were slippery, sliding away before she could grasp them.

  Sasha somehow looked more beautiful than ever. Her dark, glossy hair curled down around her shoulders, several strands fluttering in the gentle breeze as she drew steadily closer. Dressed entirely in black, she looked both elegant and alluring. Never once did her eyes leave Kerry’s face. When she reached the corner of the barn, she stopped. Only twenty feet of vertical space separated them, and Kerry was suddenly possessed of the insane urge to jump.

  For a long moment, the silence hung heavily between them.

  “Hi,” Sasha finally said, sounding more uncertain in that one syllable than Kerry had ever heard her.

  “Hi.” Tamping down the surge of hope that had accompanied her arrival, Kerry reminded herself to remain logical. That Sasha was standing in her brother’s backyard was nothing short of a miracle, but nothing had truly changed between them. “How…how is Arthur?”

  “Still in the hospital, but he’s healing well. Thanks.”

  She looked so nervous, and Kerry wanted nothing more than to comfort her. Even though that wasn’t her place, and never would be. “Why are you here, Sasha?” she asked instead.

  “To apologize to you.” When Sasha ducked her head, her long, lustrous hair shimmered in the sunlight. “I’m sorry, Kerry. I treated you so poorly.”

  “You didn’t. You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

  “I do. I was too focused on maintaining my own image to think about how it must have felt for you to be ignored and marginalized every time we were together in public.”

  Kerry’s chest ached at the note of self-loathing in Sasha’s voice. “Please, stop. You’re being too hard on yourself. I knew the stakes. I walked into our relationship with open eyes.”

  “I don’t accept those stakes any longer.” Chin jutting out defiantly, Sasha crossed her arms beneath her breasts. “Yesterday, I renounced my place in the succession.”

  Kerry couldn’t believe what she’d just heard. As her legs wobbled, she sank onto her knees to maintain her balance. “Excuse me?”

  “It has to be ratified by Parliament and approved by the nations in the Commonwealth. But I can’t imagine they’ll object.”

  “But…” Feeling dizzy, Kerry gripped the edge of the roof with both hands. This was more than just about the throne. Sasha was talking about giving up her place in her family. “I object! Why are you doing this?”

  “Because being in that line makes it impossible to be myself. I’m so tired of pretending.”

  The current of fatigue in her voice was palpable. “Why do you have to pretend? Don’t you think your people would accept you for who you are, and accept you as their princess?”

  “I don’t know. My father certainly doesn’t think so.” After a moment’s reflection, Sasha offered up a wan smile. “I’ll be making an announcement about my renunciation in a press conference at Clarence House tomorrow. Will you stand next to me?”

  “Will I…” Kerry’s voice trailed off as she blinked in utter disbelief. “What are you saying, exactly?”

  “What I’m saying, exactly, is that I love you.” Her smile grew wider. “Which felt really quite wonderful to say out loud, actually.”

  “You love me.” Kerry’s ears were ringing, and much to her mortification, tears blurred her vision. Swiping her wrist across her eyes, she desperately tried to focus. “Are you sure?”

  “Am I sure?” Sasha belted out that hearty laugh that Kerry had found so endearing all those months ago. “Oh, yes. I’m certain. In fact, right now, it’s about the only thing I’m sure of. I love you, and I want you to come back to the UK with me.”

  Like the sun going behind a cloud, dismay suddenly crowded out Kerry’s joy. “But my scholarship. I don’t have it anymore.”

  “I know.” Sasha’s hands clenched into fists. “I’m so sorry for what my father did. I want to force the Rhodes Trust to see reason and reinstate you. But I don’t know whether I have that kind of influence.”

  “I suppose it’s worth a try.” Kerry wondered what Mary Spencer would do if Sasha approached her. Would she be persuaded, despite the King’s displeasure?

  “Does that mean that you’ll return with me?”

  “Yes.” The simple syllable had never tasted so good. “Yes. I’ll come back with you. Scholarship or not, I refuse to give you up.”

  When Sasha twirled in a celebratory pirouette, Kerry laughed out loud. “Give me a second, and I’ll come down.”

  “You’d better. Our flight leaves in just under six hours.”

  “Sure of yourself, were you?” Kerry picked up the hammer and crossbar and tucked them into her tool belt before reaching for the nails. “Just let me clean up and I’ll be right there. Don’t disappear.”

  “I most certainly won’t.”

  As she worked quickly to gather her supplies, Kerry felt as though she was in shock. Sasha Carlisle was standing in her brother’s backyard and had just proclaimed that she loved her. Surreptitiously, she pinched herself. Amazing. This was no dream.

  “O, Romeo, Rome
o,” Sasha quipped from below. “Wherefore art thou, Romeo?”

  Kerry laughed again. She simply couldn’t believe it. Sasha had come for her—all the way across the Atlantic—and was quoting Romeo and Juliet in her backyard. Warmth spread through her chest. “To be honest, I don’t think the situation is quite that dire. Our families aren’t trying to kill each other.”

  Sasha appeared to mull this over. “Not yet, anyway.”

  “It wouldn’t be much of a contest. Yours has access to much more firepower.”

  She huffed a sigh and put her hands on her hips. “Here you’ve gone and taken my words literally, when all I wanted to do was to impress you with my knowledge of Shakespeare.”

  “You don’t have to try to impress me,” Kerry said, hoping Sasha could hear the earnestness in her words. “I find you completely irresistible.”

  “You have no idea how grateful I am for that. Now will you please come down from there? Carefully? If you break your neck now, you will absolutely spoil my plans.”

  Not trusting the steadiness of her own legs, Kerry took extra care in descending the ladder. Once her feet were back on solid ground, she turned to face Sasha and swallowed hard. Only two feet separated them. So close, Kerry ached with the need to touch her. But she was a grimy mess.

  “What plans would those be?”

  Sasha stepped forward, slipped two fingers through the hammer loop at Kerry’s waist, and gently pulled their bodies together. The fragrance of her scent and the promise in her eyes threatened to completely overwhelm Kerry’s reason.

  “But I’m filth—”

  Just as she had on the first night they met, Sasha pressed two fingertips to Kerry’s mouth. Sliding her hand around to the back of Kerry’s neck, Sasha pulled her down. Instantly, Kerry was lost in the incomparable softness of lips that moved tenderly against hers in a kiss equal parts worship and reclamation. When it finally ended, Kerry brought her fingertips to Sasha’s face, tracing the arc of her delicate cheekbones with both thumbs.

  “I love you.”

  Sasha’s smile was as brilliant as the sunlight. “And I love you.” Her eyes dropped, and she began to trace Kerry’s waistband with one finger—back and forth, back and forth. The movement was utterly distracting, but Kerry didn’t think she meant it that way. Just as she was about to ask what was wrong, Sasha met her eyes again.

  “Are you absolutely certain you want to join me? The media will have a field day with all this. I have to live in the spotlight, but you actually have a choice.”

  “I do.” Kerry leaned down to brush a quick kiss across her lips, feeling the rightness of her decision in every cell of her body. “And I choose this. Us. Wherever you are, however bright or dark, I want to be standing next to you.”

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Sasha pillowed her head on Kerry’s shoulder as the Bentley pulled away from the curb. It was just past ten o’clock in the morning, and she had asked the driver to take them directly to Clarence House. When Kerry began to trace gentle patterns just above her knee, Sasha cuddled closer.

  “You must be so tired,” Kerry murmured, “after two transatlantic flights in the space of twenty-four hours.”

  She had managed to sleep for much of their return trip, but she was still bone weary. Her body’s internal rhythm had been completely derailed—first by her insomnia over the past several days, and then by the quick changes in time zones.

  “I’m exhausted,” she admitted. “Once you left England, I barely slept.”

  Kerry kissed the top of her head. “May I hold you while you sleep tonight?”

  The solicitous question sent a shiver down Sasha’s spine. Such a simple request, and yet so powerful. For as long as she had been aware of her position in the world, Sasha had felt wanted. But Kerry was the first person to make her feel truly cherished.

  “Please do.”

  Sasha stared out the window as the cityscape flashed by. The contours of London were so familiar, but today she was seeing them through new eyes. She rested her hand on Kerry’s thigh and felt the flicker of powerful muscles beneath her palm. For the first time, she had a future to look forward to that was entirely her choice—entirely of her making. A future in which she would no longer be fighting herself. She had always thought of commitment as a set of chains, but now she knew the truth. By committing herself to Kerry, she would finally be free.

  “You know, I told Arthur about you. Before he woke.”

  “You did?”

  She nodded. “He’s always been my closest confidante, and I finally poured my heart out to him, even though I knew he couldn’t respond. That’s when I realized what I needed to do—that I had to find you and apologize. And then find the strength to show the world who I really am.”

  Kerry brought their lips together. “You are beautiful. Inside and out.”

  “You make me feel that way. I want everyone to know that I’m not ashamed of any part of me.”

  As the car was waved through the front gates of Clarence House, Sasha sat up and examined her reflection in the mirror on the seatback in front of her. After touching up her lipstick and combing her fingers through her hair she squared her shoulders. “I’m ready.”

  “You look fantastic.” Kerry paused to squeeze her hand. “You’re sure this is what you want?”

  “I am.”

  As the car slowed to a stop, she saw Darryl waiting beneath the awning over the side entrance. When she stepped out onto the gravel drive, he approached. “Your Royal Highness, your father the King has requested a word with you before the press conference begins. He’s asked me to take you to him.”

  Sasha exchanged a glance with Kerry. She looked concerned. “Shall I wait?”

  “No more hiding. I want to introduce you.” Clasping their hands together, she turned back to Darryl. “Lead on.”

  But the further they proceeded into the winding corridors of Clarence House, the more anxious Sasha became. What did her father have up his sleeve? Had he found some way to bully her into abandoning her plan? Silently vowing to hold firm, she focused on taking slow, steady breaths. Kerry must have been able to sense her nerves, because she stroked her thumb over Sasha’s knuckles in a soothing rhythm.

  Just before they reached the designated press conference chamber, Darryl paused at a small door that opened onto a greenroom of sorts, where final preparations were often made to wardrobe or makeup before the beginning of a media event. “Here you are, ma’am.”

  Sasha took a deep breath, squeezed Kerry’s hand, and led her inside. Her father was the sole occupant of the room, and he looked up from his phone when they entered. His expression was inscrutable as he slid it back inside his jacket pocket.

  “Hello, Father.” Sasha didn’t wait for him to speak. This was her press conference, and she wanted to take the initiative. In every way. “Please allow me to introduce Rhodes scholar Kerry Donovan. The woman I love.”

  To his credit, he didn’t flinch. But neither did he extend his hand. “Hello, Ms. Donovan.”

  “Good morning, Your Majesty.” Kerry’s voice was hoarse but didn’t tremble. “I’m honored to meet you.”

  “Alexandra, I need to speak with you in private.”

  When Kerry began to move away, Sasha held her firmly in place. “Anything you’d like to say to me right now can be said in front of Kerry.”

  At first, it seemed he might argue. His eyes narrowed and his mouth tightened and he drew himself up to his full, formidable height. But then, apparently, he thought the better of it. “Very well. Alexandra, I don’t want you to give this press conference.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because it is unnecessary. You don’t need to remove yourself from the line of succession. Your entire reason for doing so is moot. Arthur is healing well.”

  Sasha tried to hold back her irritation. For such an intelligent man, her father could be uncommonly dense. “I don’t know how to convince you that my decision has nothing to do with anyone but myself. I fully
intend to live in an open relationship with Kerry for…” She turned to meet Kerry’s eyes and was warmed by the love and affection she could plainly see there. “As long as she’ll have me, quite frankly. And it has been made very clear to me that I will not be free to do so unless I am no longer a princess.”

  His jaw clenched, but he refrained from snapping at her as he had always been so wont to do. “Over the past few days, I have had ample time for reflection while sitting at your brother’s bedside. And I do not want to lose another of my children.”

  Taken aback, Sasha had no ready response or retort. Never, not once in her entire life, had she heard him speak in such emotional terms. “But you haven’t lost Arthur. And you won’t lose me, either.”

  “I will if I continue to push you away.” He pinched the bridge of his nose before refocusing his tired eyes on her. “My advisors have encouraged me not to be myopic. Our country has new laws—laws that allow for you to create a civil union with another woman, should you so choose. In light of this provision, I would be the worst kind of hypocrite if I forced you out of the succession over your choice in…life partner.”

  Sasha couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “I can’t tell you how much that means.”

  He waved her words aside. “You and I have had an adversarial relationship for so long. I want that to change. I also realize change will not be easy. We are very different people, and each difficult in our own right. Although…” And here he offered a small smile. “I daresay our stubbornness makes us especially formidable.”

  For the first time since they had left the car, Sasha let go of Kerry’s hand to embrace her father. He smelled the way he always had—of Trumper cologne and pipe smoke. “Thank you,” she whispered fiercely. “I’ll meet you half way, Father. I promise.”

  When she pulled away, he turned to Kerry. “Ms. Donovan, I owe you an apology for prematurely ending your tenure as a Rhodes scholar. I will ask the secretary of the trust to return your scholarship to you promptly.”