The Haunting Within

by Michelle Burley

  They were happily married, or so she thought, until John walked out on them when she was carrying Aiden. She hated him for that. Of course she still loved him, he was the father of her two children if you could class him as a father, and the only man she had ever loved, ever been intimate with, but she despised him so much. She had come to the conclusion that all men were the same. Not one of them would think twice before walking out on his child, his own flesh and blood. Of course, Debbie and John had had their arguments, what married couple doesn’t? But to leave her with two babies to bring up and provide for was unforgiveable in her opinion. From then on Debbie raised her children alone and made all the decisions concerning them alone. Luckily she had always made the right decisions until now. She had never dated again since John, not that she didn’t get any offers. Although she didn’t know it she was a very attractive woman and there had been no shortage of admirers over the years. It was just that she didn’t want to get involved again, for many reasons. She couldn’t take the rejection again if it all went wrong and besides, she lived for her children. They were all she wanted and she didn’t have time for a man. The main reason though was that she had never fully gotten over John. She still loved him with all of her heart and she was certain that no other man would live up to John, or at least, her version of John. She knew she would never find the same love or passion with anyone else so she didn’t see the point in trying. Her feelings towards him veered from extreme to extreme. It depended on her mood but sometimes she could still feel the overwhelming love for him, yet at other times she despised him with such a passion it scared her. She was often lonely, especially at night when she was in bed with no-one to cuddle up to and no-one to help her through her nightmares.

  The terrifying noise that would send chills down her spine when she was a child was in the distance. She thought she was imaging it but when she snapped back from her reverie she realised she wasn’t imagining it at all. The noise that she loathed could be heard from upstairs. It was the sound of her father coughing. For as long as she could remember he had always had a hacking cough, the sort of cough were you could hear the mucus rattling on the chest. He would cough like that to get rid of the phlegm which clung to his lungs. It was a disgusting sound that had for many years invaded most of her thoughts and her dreams. Though it seemed to be silly to be scared of a seemingly innocuous noise, she was frightened because that’s when she knew her father was coming. The cough was getting louder now.

  Lisa and Aiden! Oh my God, where are they? She screamed frantically in her mind.

  40

  Panic started to take over her as she dashed into the lounge trying to find them before he did.

  Her little girl was just disappearing into the inner corridor as Debbie entered the lounge. She could just see the back of Lisa’s best pink frilly dress and her long golden blonde ponytail swinging from side to side as she walked. She had specifically dressed them in their best clothes for today’s visit because her father was always insistent he liked to see people well dressed. He couldn’t stand to see children dressed raggedly or see them with dirty faces. He couldn’t stand to see them as what they were; children. That was what it boiled down to. He felt contempt for most people, but he held children in even lower regard than any other living thing. That was how it seemed to Debbie. Aiden wasn’t in the lounge Debbie knew that he would already be in the dining room ahead of Lisa. He always was the most inquisitive of the two, never one to stand about, always wanting to be off exploring and Lisa always followed her brother, encouraged by his sense of adventure, being quite curious herself, but not daring enough to go first. Debbie loved her children with every piece of her being; they were such great kids. Never naughty, just nosy, just children really, but Debbie knew her father would be very angry if he found them wandering through his house.

  She rushed through the lounge and crossed the corridor into the dining room. There they both were, looking in amazement at everything in the room. Neither of them had ever seen such magnificence before. They weren’t touching anything, they knew better than to go to someone’s home and touch, they didn’t even touch Debbie’s ornaments. She had raised them well, raised them with a tremendous amount of love and affection and it showed. They respected everyone, were never in trouble at school, but Debbie was wise enough to know that would more than likely change once they hit their teens. She didn’t mind though, they were a strong family unit and they would get through anything as long as they had each other. She just hoped they would get through what would probably their toughest challenge ever; today.

  “What did I tell you two?” As Debbie spoke her children jumped, startled by the fact that they were not alone as they thought they were.

  “Sorry mummy. We just wanted to see, that’s all. We never touched anything, honest!” Aiden apologised for them both.

  “I know you didn’t. Just come through to the front room and sit down and don’t touch anything. I will be back in a minute with your grandfather.”

  She went into the hall to wait obediently for him like a dog waits for its master, a knot of fear in her stomach at seeing this man again. Wringing her hands she looked up at the stairs and there he was. Standing there, looking down at her, expressionless. Slowly he walked with his back ram-rod straight down the staircase towards her. She barely dared to meet his gaze and it was only when he stood before her and spoke in such a terse tone that she raised her eyes to his.

  “Hello Deborah” his voice boomed out.

  Unconsciously she flinched. “Hello Father.” It came out as almost a whisper. Clearing her throat she attempted to sound stronger than she felt. “How are you?” she ventured.

  “Deborah, do not pretend that you are here to see how I am. I have no interest in making small talk with you. You know how I feel.”

  She listened as much as she possibly could but found it very difficult to concentrate when her children sat just one room away in silence. She could feel their fear. It was like an invisible rope attached to her from them and every bit of emotion ran through it like messages on nerve impulses that were sent to your brain. Her children were scared and they needed her but she could not go to them. Not until He gave her permission.

  In the lounge the children held their breath listening to their grandfathers’ loud voice through the walls. They could not hear their mother’s responses, only the ticking of the clock when their grandfather wasn’t speaking. Although they did not fully understand the context of what he said, they knew that he did not want their mother there. Probably did not want them there either. They listened on, not daring to move or to speak. Out in the hall the conversation went on.

  “Would you of gone the rest of your life, indeed the rest of my life without ever coming here again Deborah? What kind of a daughter does that? What kind of a daughter keeps her children away from their grandfather?!”

  With her lips almost numb from fear she barely managed to utter a reply “What did you expect Father?”

  “What did I expect?!” he repeated incredulous. Shaking his head he said “I expected more from you Deborah. Much more. I am finding it difficult tolerating having you in my house. It would not bother me if I never saw you again after today. In fact, I would prefer it. Now, where are my grandchildren?”

  On hearing this, Lisa and Aiden felt their little hearts pounding faster than ever and they gripped each other’s hand without realising why.

  41

  Out in the great hall Debbie was looking at her father with new loathing in her eyes. So now he wanted to traumatise her children the way he had done to her. She stood staring at him, her eyes boring into him filling her with more hatred…until he looked at her and it all evaporated. She knew he would punish her or, worse still, the children, for looking at him in such a manner.

  “I want to see them Deborah. You bring them to me or else get out of my house and do not ever darken my doorstep again! I have a right to see them Deborah. I could have made things so much more difficult for you if I
had chosen to. You think about that.” Turning his back on her he walked through the hall and disappeared into the kitchen. Her heart dropped. What could she do? Oh she wanted to walk away so badly, to take the children and leave this instant but she didn’t dare. She would have to get them. She knew what he wanted them for. At least if she did it, it wouldn’t seem as bad for them. Yes. She would do it. Not Him.

  From in the lounge the children heard their mother sob “They are good children Father! Very well behaved.” Then the door opened and she came towards them with tears running down her face. “You have to do as you are told my darlings” her voice breaking with emotion “we are going to play a game ok? You have to hide and stay really, really quiet, as quiet as mice, until I come and get you. Come on, be very, very good for mummy” and she led them to the cupboard underneath the stairs…

  42

  The door opened onto a stuffy blackness that looked as solid as the door itself. They stared up at Debbie with pleading eyes and she felt so incredibly helpless that she pulled them into a tight hug and cried into their hair.

  “Mummy, please don’t make us go in there” Lisa begged.

  “Sweetheart, your Grandfather wants you to play the game. We mustn’t make him cross must we? Be good and he will want to meet you after it has ended” she tried for a smile at the last word but came up short.

  Aiden stood peering into the hole with huge eyes that sparkled with unshed tears. “How long will it be for mummy?” he asked.

  “Not long darling. Just quickly get in and then we can all go home” and she gently but firmly pushed them inside and locked the door.

  43

  Standing in the inky blackness they held on to each other and silently sobbed. There was no sound at all and they strained their ears to hear anything. After what seemed like an eternity to them they heard raised voices talking outside the door.

  “Father, please! They are just babies! You don’t know what it’s like in there! There is something in there!” her screams were hysterical.

  Hearing this, the children in the cupboard started to panic. What was in the cupboard? They looked around them but could see nothing but a wall of darkness surrounding them. Their sobs became louder and their tiny bodies shook with terror. There were some muffled noises from just beyond the door and a small thump made them scream.

  “Deborah, you stop this right now! Do you hear me? Stop it!” bellowed their Grandfather.

  “There is something in there Father!” Debbie shouted hysterically as she tried desperately to get her father to see sense. “It is in there and it is dangerous! They need to get out!” her voice was lost in her muffled cries and they heard their grandfather shouting.

  “You get them out of there Deborah! Open that door and get them out right now! You bring them to me! They are staying here! You are a disgrace to me Deborah. A disgrace as a daughter and now a disgrace as a mother. I should have done something with you a long time ago. You should never have had children! You get them out of there and you give them to me and you go and never come back!” as he was shouting he was trying to prise the key out of Debbie’s clenched fist.

  “No Father! You can’t do that! They are my babies, not yours!”

  “Deborah, I want you to get out of my house! You are no daughter of mine!” They heard in between their own cries, the cries of their mother as if she was being hurt. Then came an almighty crack that seemed to explode their eardrums so loud was the noise. A brief silence followed and was broken by sobs from their mummy as she yelled at her father to go ahead and hit her if it made him feel better. It went on back and forth between their beloved mum and their grandfather for so long that they gave up on crying because they were so worn out. Their little hands were sore from clawing at the door and their throats raw from screaming for their mummy to help them. They huddled in the corner of the cupboard for a long time, trying to comfort each other as the bitter cold pockets of air kept sweeping passed them, caused by something that had no solid shape, that was deathly silent and that seemed to thrive on their fear.

  44

  By the time the door of the cupboard opened, their tiny bodies which still clung to one another were drenched with sweat. They had to shield their eyes from the bright white light that filled the small space. Once their eyes became accustomed to the light they looked up in trepidation to see who had opened the door to them. They were weak with relief to see their mummy standing in the doorway holding her arms out to them. They scurried out of the cupboard on their hands and knees and into her arms. They were all crying and hugging each other like they had been parted for weeks.

  “Please can we go now mummy? I don’t like that game” Lisa whispered with a wobbly, raspy voice while she fingered a lock of her mums hair, twiddling, twiddling, twiddling it around her small finger the whole time they were cuddling.

  “Yes we can go now” she replied to their relief. “I’m so sorry about that. Mummy tried to stop him from playing that game but he wouldn’t listen.” Debbie told them as she soothingly and gently pushed back their soaking wet fringes from their foreheads. “Did you know there was something else in there with you?” she asked the children, looking between the two exhausted pairs of eyes.

  They nodded not wanting to talk about the terrifying experience they had just been through. They didn’t understand why she had not taken them away from here as soon as he started getting angry with them. Why would she let something like that happen to them? She was their mum, she was supposed to protect them and she hadn’t. She wouldn’t stop talking about the something that had been in there with them.

  “It’s a man who is in that cupboard. He was a patient of my Father’s a long time ago. He wears a straitjacket because he was always trying to hurt people when he was alive. He…”

  She was cut short by her daughter. “Mummy please stop. I don’t want to talk about it anymore! I just want to go home. Please can we go home?” she bit her bottom lip to try and quell the trembling of it as she peered up at her mummy.

  “But darling, you need to be scared. It was your punishment. I needed to be scared when Father locked me in there with him when I was little. It’s the only way you learn how to behave. Father made me realise that you are quite naughty sometimes and you need to be punished. I know it’s not very nice, but you’ll thank me for it when you’re older.”

  The children looked at each with confused expressions. They didn’t know what they had done to be naughty, but it must have been something very bad to be locked away like that.

  “He just made me see what is best for you.” She said looking down at them with a smile. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up” she said as she held her children’s hands tightly and led them to the kitchen. Terrified of their grandfather being in there they hid behind their mums back as they entered. It was only when Debbie, sensing their apprehension, told them it was all okay, that he was upstairs and he would not be coming back down, that they reluctantly went to her side. It was just them and the young woman who had answered the door to them. She smiled down at them sadly, pitifully. Not speaking at all to Debbie, the young woman got cool cloths and gently wiped their faces, all the while smiling so softly at them with what looked to be tears in her eyes that their hearts almost broke.

  45

  As they stepped outside into the fresh air they noticed it was dark, they had no idea how long they were locked in the cupboard for and they neither wished to know, nor had the energy to ask. The breeze was refreshing, yet cold against their clammy skin. Their faces tingled from the wet flannel the nice lady had soothingly patted against their hot skin. They had been in such a hurry to leave the house that they had to struggle into their coats whilst they were strapped into the back seat of the car. Aiden had wet himself in the cupboard but Debbie had said he would be okay until he got home. He was very uncomfortable in his cold, soggy trousers but he just wanted to be back at home so he said nothing. They finally drove away from the house and from their grandfather, all the time
their minds trying to work out but unable to process or comprehend what had happened. From an upstairs window he stood looking at them, watching them leave. He was more livid with his daughter than he ever had been in his life. How dare she tell him he was not to see his grandchildren?! He never wanted to see her again.

  During the drive home Debbie apologised for what they had been through. “I will never take you back there again! I promise! It was wrong for him to punish you like that and it will never happen again! I want you to know that you didn’t deserve that, you did absolutely nothing wrong. Do you understand?” She glanced at the rear-view mirror and saw them on the backseat. They looked so small and tired. She wanted to pull the car over and scoop them up into a big hug, but she also wanted to go home and get them as far away from this place as possible, so she carried on driving. Hugs will have to wait until we get home she thought to herself.

  “But mummy, you said he was right, that we deserved to be punished sometimes because we’re naughty. You said we needed to be scared to learn how to behave!” Lisa told her from the backseat.

  “Oh, darling, you’ve had a horrible day; you know I would never say things like that.”

  “But you did. Can’t you remember mummy?”

  “I have no idea what you are talking about Lisa. I love you and Aiden so much and I would never let anyone tell me you needed to be punished. That is a horrible thing to say Lisa. I never want to hear you say I said that again.” Debbie was telling the truth, she had no idea whatsoever of what Lisa was talking about. She had no recollection of her saying such a thing to her precious children. She believed that Lisa was mistaken after the trauma she had been through. Or if she had said it then it was only to appease her Father so he would let them leave.