The Haunting Within

by Michelle Burley

  A strong but gentle cuddle engulfed her and she turned herself into the owner of the embrace, not quite realising who it was at first, and not really caring at first either, a hug was a hug and she sure needed one right now. As soon as she took in the scent of her embracer she knew who it was and she glad to be being hugged by him. It was Tom; her Tom, now. He had been there for her through it all, just as she hoped he would have been there for her when they left the house, only she wished with all of her heart that it wasn’t in these sad circumstances. She would never have assumed it from him, to give up so much of his time to be with her and help her through everything. But he had done so without needing to be asked and with such a gentle, compassionate understanding of her that she never knew he had. He loved her, of that she was certain. He had told her as much and while some men threw the words around often he meant it with all of his heart. She knew he would be there for her and she would be able to rely and depend on him always. Tom gently guided Lisa to his car and they set off for home.

  80

  Several years had passed but Lisa still missed Aiden every day, and her mother too, although that took a lot longer to come to terms with. At first she hated herself for hating her mum. Then she hated herself for missing her mum. Now she had finally accepted that it was just the way it was. Why try to fight what she felt? Aiden would not have thought any less of her for loving their mum still.

  With the huge amount of money she had received from her grandfather’s will - seven-hundred-and-twenty-seven-thousand pounds, plus the one point six million from the sale of the house, not to mention the money in the savings account her mum had kept secret from them, Lisa had put herself through college on a cookery course and once she had graduated she went to university and took a diploma in accountancy. That was a tough time. She was away from Tom during the week and only got to see him at the weekends when he would pick her up on Friday afternoons and take her back to their very own home they had bought outright. It wasn’t anything flashy. They didn’t need a big house for just the two of them.

  After all of her studies were finished and she had passed with flying colours which was no easy feat when it was considered all she had been through, she bought herself a nice little restaurant and called it “Aiden’s”. There had never been another name she had considered for it. It had to be “Aiden’s”.

  During this time she and Tom had married in a small, cosy ceremony with close family and friends. She agonised over whether to invite her mum or not and in the end she decided she would. She had become very close to Richard Matlock and his family since their dealings with the manor house and she had asked Richard to walk her down the aisle. Not having been blessed with children of his own he had come to think of Lisa as his surrogate daughter. She was a lovely young girl who he had had the pleasure of watching grow into a wonderful young woman. He shed a tear of pride as he walked by her side to the strains of the wedding march. His wife cried also at the sight for she too, was very fond of Lisa and Tom. They had brought a sense of wholeness to her and Richard that they had never had before. Mary had always wanted children but it sadly was not to be. She had instead turned to food when her heart had ached for the bond of a child of her own and every month when Mother Nature paid her a cruel visit and rubbed salt in the wounds, when the womb that would forever be void cramped with disabling pains, mocking and taunting her. Now secretly she could not wait for Lisa to fall pregnant. She knew she had no right to be so selfish and Lord knows she wasn’t trying to live her life through Lisa, but she felt that a child given to her by the girl who was once a stranger but who now entered her thoughts on a daily basis and lived in her heart every second of every day would finally make her feel at peace with herself after spending so many years loathing her own body for not being able to give her and Richard what she was made for. Not that Richard had ever blamed her, nor had he ever thought of leaving her. No, they were made for each other and even though she teased him about his weight she would not change him for the world. Besides, she was hardly a rake. They had each other and at one time that was all they thought they would ever have, then through terrible and unfortunate circumstances Lisa had come into their lives. Mary only wished she had a chance to meet Aiden. Her husband told her what a nice young man he was but of course, he hadn’t known him well at all either. Still, she was at a wedding and she would remain positive and happy.

  It had not taken long for the manor house to sell. A doctor had indeed purchased the house for his practice. Lisa was glad to have it taken off her hands. The restaurant was doing very well, so well in fact, that she had been thinking of expanding. But as things stood at the moment she would not be rushing into anything. She didn’t need to have any added stress on her hands right now. She smiled sadly as she placed her cabbage patch doll back on the shelf. The doll that was almost identical to the one her mum had when she was a child which now sat, patched up and looking almost as good as new, next to her own. The one her grandfather would have bought for her with love yet her mum blanked out all of his kindness. She wouldn’t think about that today. Nor would she allow herself to worry about the depression that could easily engulf her any time now. Post natal depression was a risk for any mum, but she was even more scared of getting it than most. Scared because of what had happened to her grandmother and subsequently to her mum. She worried that it would run in the family. But as she stood and surveyed the softly painted walls and rubbed her baby bump lovingly she vowed to stop her worrying. She wanted to steer well clear of stress now she was pregnant.

  Downstairs she picked up a framed photograph of her and Aiden in their late teens. They had been in their back garden and he had grabbed her in a bear hug. They looked so happy. He would have been over the moon to know he was going to be an uncle. He would have been an amazing one too. She still saw Lucy sometimes who had just met someone else, but she still wore the engagement ring on a chain around her neck. Time had indeed eased Lisa’s pain but still she missed him so much it hurt. Life was finally picking up again for Lisa and she had so much to look forward to, she tried to not look back.

  Cathy had been a brilliant support for her and Lisa had become very close to her because she was the only part of her grandfather Lisa had left. She got to know him through Cathy. He was a funny man, very intelligent. Lisa had been given some photographs from her grandfather’s home and the two women would spend many hours sitting and looking through them fondly, talking of the wonderful man Cathy had known and Lisa had been denied the chance of ever knowing. But she felt closer to him. She visited his grave regularly and she took comfort in knowing that Aiden was with him now and he had been given the chance to finally meet the grandfather he never had. Lisa had once asked Cathy why there were no photos of her mum in her grandfather’s home. Cathy had told her he found it too painful to see them each day and had made the decision to take them down but he could not bring himself to be rid of them completely. He kept them with the few grainy and out-of-focus photos he had of her and Aiden, courtesy of the private detective he had hired.

  She had also asked why the house was in such a state when he had so much money and could easily afford to have it repaired. The answer brought tears to her eyes. Cathy explained it was because he wanted to save all the money he could to give to them, his grandchildren. She had also informed Lisa the reason he kept the garden looking so nice was because he had wanted somewhere lovely for them to play if they were ever allowed to visit him.

  When Lisa gave birth to Emily, Cathy had exclaimed with great pride how much she looked like her grandfather. That made Lisa cry because she could see a lot of Aiden in her baby girl. So there was a family resemblance from her grandfather. It was a lovely thought.

  Epilogue

  Once again Lisa found herself standing in front of the old house she had hoped she would never see again. It wasn’t that she was frightened of it anymore but it held a lot of painful memories for her. Her two children, Emily and Luke, stood by her side holding her hand tightly. />
  “I don’t like this place mummy.” Emily said, tightening her grip on Lisa’s hand.

  “Me neither! Why did we have to come here mummy?” Luke tugged at his mummy’s coat.

  Lisa wished she had an answer for him but she didn’t. She just felt compelled to visit her mother for the first time in years. It would be the first time she had ever seen her grandchildren.

  “We’re going to meet your nanny. She’s poorly so no running about and jumping all over the place. We’ll stop and get ice cream on the way home…” Before the words had left her lips she recalled her mum saying the exact same thing to Aiden and herself all those years ago. It made her shiver like someone had walked over her grave.

  They traipsed towards the house that Lisa thought she would never have to set eye’s on again until she got the letter that changed all that. It had said that her mother was being transferred to a permanent psychiatric hospital that could treat her needs more adequately. She couldn’t decide if it was funny or just plain eerie that this was the place she had ended up back at. Walking on unsteady legs into the visiting room she looked across the table into the desolate, glassy eyes. There was no recognition from her mum until she saw Luke. Then she lit up and her eyes shone and sparkled like Lisa had once known them to.

  “Aiden! My little boy! You have come to see me.” She said smiling and gesturing for Luke to sit on her knee. Luke looked confused but sat on the knee of this old woman. It wasn’t like she was a stranger, she was his nanny and his mummy was here with him too so he would be safe. After all, mummy’s always kept their children safe.