Trials (Rock Bottom)

by Sarah Biermann

  “Did you get to look over the contract for the next movie?” he asks me, releasing me and struggling out of his jacket. His statement amuses me. Who would have thought I would have ended up being a contract lawyer after all? But, when your husband is your boss, work isn’t so bad. I like the, ahem, bonuses I get. Plus, I get to stay home with Jonathan.

  I knew from the moment I laid eyes on him, I wasn’t going to be able to work full time. I couldn’t leave him. I wanted to be around him all the time. Even though Jeremy lost his contract and soon afterword the fandom died down and a new star rose, he was still extremely wealthy. So I never had to worry about working, anyway. And really, neither does he.

  But he just loves the music. It’s how he speaks to the world. And he has so many beautiful things to say.

  “Pianooooooo!!! Daddy, piano!!” Jonathan yells. Jeremy’s love of music has rubbed off on Jonathan, and more than a little bit. Since he was an infant, Jonathan’s favorite thing to do is listen to his Daddy play the piano. He much prefers piano to guitar.

  Jeremy walks over to the piano without a second thought, constantly feeding into Jonny’s demands. I’ve told him before if he turns out to be a spoiled brat, it’s nowhere near my fault. But how can I deny him the opportunity to spoil his child, who looks so much like him, the way he wasn’t able to be spoiled?

  Jeremy takes a seat on the black and silver piano’s bench, placing his feet on the petals delicately.

  “Heaven, peas,” Jonathan begs. He loves that song. So do I. It’s the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard, even now. Jeremy begins to play the song, slowly and full of passion. Jonathan watches in awe.

  Seeing them together makes my heart swell. I just think about how easily our lives could have been very different. What if Jeremy had gone to trial all those years ago and lost? What if he had lost the battle with drugs? Really, what if any of the trials we have faced throughout our whole relationship had turned out differently?

  I know one day we’ll probably have to face another series of trials. But this time I’m confident that we can make it through them together. Jeremy has kept the promises he made the night Jonathan was born. I’ve never been so in love or happy. There’s no doubt in my mind anymore, just as there had never been a doubt in my heart.

  Jeremy finishes the song and Jonathan claps wildly. When Jeremy stands up, Jonathan immediately stops clapping and gives him an angry look. “No, no!” he screams. “Piano,” he says, pointing his little finger at the bench.

  “I have to get changed, dude. Give me a couple minutes?”

  I smile and walk into the kitchen, taking the opportunity of Jonny’s distraction to throw some dishes in the sink. I see the milk left out on the counter and roll my eyes, walking to the fridge to put it back in before it spoils. I stop when I reach the refrigerator door. I smile at the newspaper clipping showing Scott’s huge wedding in Huston, his blushing bride dashing in her white gown. I have been in very brief contact with Scott over the years, with Jeremy’s blessing, and am thrilled that he’s happy and successful. I also mentally scold myself when I see the invitation to Theresa’s baby shower for her second child that I have yet to RSVP. Will my life ever slow down?

  I throw the milk in the fridge when I hear short but lovely cords coming from the piano. I smile. “He’ll never learn the word ‘no’ if you keep giving into him!” I yell. Another chord chimes, three notes in perfect harmony. I hear Jonathan squeal in delight.

  “What?” I hear Jeremy’s voice calling from upstairs. I freeze in confusion. Another cord sounds, three more keys in unison.

  “Are you upstairs?” I call. I hear footsteps coming down the stairway and see Jeremy walk into the kitchen. He’s changed into casual clothes.

  “Yeah, sorry. What do you need, baby?” my mouth gapes for a moment before two chords play, one after another, again in harmony. Jonathan claps happily. Jeremy furrows his eyebrows in confusion and we both walk quietly towards the living room, peering around the doorway.

  We see Jonathan sitting at the piano, running his small hands over the keys. He cocks his small head to the side before two fingers on his right hand and one finger on his left hand fall down onto three keys, again playing them in harmony. A beautiful cord fills the house as Jonathan giggles. “Music!” he laughs, playing another cord.

  My heart stops in my chest and I hear Jeremy stop breathing. We both look at each other in shock and then back at our small son. “Well,” I finally whisper. “This is unexpected.”

  “Oh no,” Jeremy sighs. “Not him.”

  I put my arm around his body. “It’s okay. It’s wonderful. He’s talented, like you. But we’ll deal with this the right way. Not the way your parents did,” I whisper, hugging him tighter in comfort. He sighs heavily.

  Jonathan is playing his cords more rapidly now. His giggles are so jovial and his face so bright with wonder. “Look how happy he is. Look how much he loves it.”

  I feel Jeremy nod. “Hey, buddy,” he says, softly. Jonathan jumps and turns his little body around. His face is concerned, as if he doesn’t know how we’ll react. “You want me to show you a song?”

  Jonathan bounces on his seat, clapping. Jeremy walks over and sits next to him, talking in a hushed voice.

  I sit on the floor by the doorway and watch them play, fixing this moment into my memory forever. I don’t think about the discovery of Jonathan’s talents, I don’t think about the contracts or the dishes, and I don’t think about the past or future. I try to live in the right now, because right now I have everything I could want. It was a struggle to get here, but nothing wonderful is ever easy. Even if it’s not perfect, it’s still my version of heaven.

  “Sing me a love song,” Jeremy sings, turning around to look at me. Our eyes lock. “Sing me to heaven.”

  The End

  An Excerpt From After Life

  Please enjoy an excerpt from Sarah Biermann’s upcoming book, After Life, excepted to be released winter 2013! It’s the beautiful story about love, death, rebirth, and acceptance with a surprisingly happy ending that will leave readers breathless. What really happens to us when we’re gone?

  Chapter 1

  Present

  The first time I materialized, the only thing I knew was that I was no longer angry. Honestly, I felt nothing. No sadness, no happiness, no pain, no fear. Nothing. And it was amazing.

  I was alarmed to see that I had no body or face. I had no arms or legs. I wasn’t even a stereotypical white figure. If someone were to look where I thought I was within the room, they wouldn’t see anything. I was more of an awareness; seeing with no eyes, thinking with no brain, and hearing with no ears. I definitely wasn’t expecting this out of the afterlife, if that’s what this was.

  I remember lying on my bathroom floor and fading into blackness. I remember being rushed through the hospital doors on one of those beds on wheels. I remember my mom gripping my arm, screaming at me to stay with her. And then I remember drifting off to sleep.

  It was so peaceful, just the way I’d wanted it. Just the way I’d hoped. In that moment, right after I swallowed the entire bottle of pills, I let go of all of the burdens I’ve been carrying that just got to be too much for me. At that moment, after I first materialized, I knew I made the right decision. My first real emotion after death was happiness.

  I wish I could tell you that I was met with choirs of angels singing me to heaven. I wish I could tell you I was embracing Jesus and rubbing elbows with all of my ancestors. But I can’t tell you that. What I can tell you is that I had never felt so happy and free in all of my life than I did in the first moments of my afterlife.

  When I finally looked around the room I was standing in, I felt the happiness grow. Of course I would materialize here first. Of course every ounce of whatever is left of me would be drawn to this place. This room, where so many of the happiest memories of my living life would be- I knew no greater heaven than to be here.

  Lily.

  Her name sparkled in
my awareness. I remembered her as if she were standing in front of me. Her luscious brown hair. Her questioning and lively blue eyes. Her fantastic curvy body. For a long time towards the end, she had become my only reason to press on every awful day.

  Her room was how it always was. She didn’t have much to really move around. She had a rusty metal bed in the center of her room with a red quilt covering it. The desk she sat her book bag on was on the right side of her room by the window, so she could have natural light from the sun when she used the desk to do her drawings. Her bookshelf, full with ratty, overused books, stood against the left side of the wall directly across from her desk. And that was it.

  I wondered if I would spend my eternity in here, which would have been okay with me. I could spend eternity remembering how her skin smelled, and the way it felt against mine. Looking at the bed where we used to lay after school. Reliving the nights we’d spent in it…

  Suddenly, the door burst open. I saw Lily come in, wearing jeans and a beat-up red sweater, her brown hair blowing behind her. I felt so much happiness then that I feared my awareness couldn’t take it, until she turned back around and slammed her door. Lily threw herself on her bed, body face down, and cried into her pillow. Her sobs were loud and ugly, her entire body shook.

  I immediately knew this was over me and what I did. I had expected her to react this way. I couldn’t imagine what it would have been like for me if I had lost her when I was still alive, especially in the way she lost me. I would have gone fucking nuts. My only hope was that she would learn to understand why I felt at that moment that I had to do it. To be honest, I didn’t really think through my decision until about three minutes before I did it. That was me, impulsive and selfish.

  I felt my awareness moving closer to her, the bed and her body coming closer to me. I lowered myself to her bed, wishing I had arms to wrap her in. Her body continued to shake.

  “Why, Evan?” she screamed into her pillow. Hearing my named shocked me. Shock, that was new.

  “Why did you leave me, Evan? Why? WHY?!” Lily screamed to no one.

  I couldn’t take the pain. I couldn’t take the pressure. I thought towards her.

  “How can I go on?” she moaned, her voice breaking in pain.

  A jolt went through me, a momentary and intense feeling of guilt and pain. I felt like it was going to rip me in two. But it left as soon as it had come, and I was again at peace.

  You’re beautiful. You’re strong. You deserve so much more than what I was going to give you.

  “Please, come back to me. Please, Evan.”

  Sadness came and left once again. I was thankful that these excruciating feelings were so temporary.

  Just know, I’m at peace.

  Her door once again busted open, loudly slamming against the opposite wall. Lily’s head shot up as well as my attention. I saw a man, over six feet tall and fat, stumbling through the door. An anger flash flowed through me and left. Lily’s father looked down at her on the bed, rubbing his unshaven chin with his disgusting, gray hand.

  “What the fuck are you crying about now?” he slurred, grabbing Lily by her hair. Lily grabbed her scalp and screamed in pain. “Get out of this room and make yourself useful!” He threw Lily from the bed and onto her floor.

  She laid there for a moment in the fetal position, covering her face with her hands. “I said get up!” her father screamed, kicking her in the stomach. She grunted and quickly stood up, trying to avoid any more of his wrath. She turned and scurried like a scared cat out of her door, followed by her father, as he licked his lips.

  The anger flash that passed through me that time stayed, fiery and scorching. Just before I tried to follow them out of the room, I could feel my awareness begin to fade. I wasn’t ready to go, but I could feel that I had no control, and slowly the room around me blackened and my thoughts were gone.

  Acknowledgements

  First and foremost, I want to thank everyone that had read my books and have fallen in love with Jeremy and Dylan as I have. It’s always been a dream of mine to put my stories down on paper and I’m happy I could share them with all of you. Your support on Amazon, Goodreads, blogs, and Facebook has been so inspiring to me. I want to name a few readers who have really touched my heart: Heidi Jo B, Heather F, Amy H-W, Darlene W, Jenee N, Rosemarie M, Dena D, Rachelle C, Sara K, and so many more. I only wish I could include all of you in here!

  Thank you to my main beta reader, Beth Newell, who supported me from day one. She was the first to read the first parts of Tracks that I had written and encouraged me to keep going. I hope you keep your love of reading, Beth, and you’re willing to read my stuff as long as I write it!

  To the other friends who beta read for me, including: Savannah, Ruby Tuesday, Brandy, Robin S, and I’m sure several other people I forgot to name, thank you so much. You helped me keep the story something that the readers will love.

  To my editor, Meagan Burgad: you are so wonderful. You really elevated my books to a whole new level. The story was absolutely improved by your corrections and suggestions. I hope we can continue to work together in the future, because I definitely need you. In fact, you’re probably picking out errors right now in these acknowledgements.

  A very special thank you to Daniel Gawthrop for letting me use his beautiful song “Sing Me To Heaven.” This song has inspired me since I heard it years ago and I’ve loved it ever since. I am so honored to be able to use this song in my book.

  Thanks to all my other friends and coworkers who were so excited for me and read my book. Your support inspired me more than once to keep going. You guys rock!

  I want to thank my parents and brother Dave for being so proud of me when I sprang the news on them that I wrote and published a book. They peddled my book everywhere like the proud parents/siblings they are. I love you guys.

  I want to thank my husband Jon for putting up with me these last few years as I was writing this book. I ignored him frequently to devote time and energy into this series. He was always understanding and supportive. I love you. It’s easy to write love stories when you live in one every day.

  My kids are the light of my life and support me in whatever I need or want to do. Anna and Quinn, you are the reason I want to achieve great things. I love you two more than anything in the world.

  Pixel Pixie Design who made the awesome cover of Trials and all of my banners for Facebook. You do amazing work and I’ll work with you on every project!

  Most of all, I need to thank the ladies at Love Between The Sheets book blog. You ladies are an absolute blessing to me and are single handedly responsible for my success. You took an unknown, first time author under your wing and pushed my career forward. You’ve done so much for me and have asked for nothing in return. I cannot express how eternally grateful I am to all of you.

  I want to send a special thank you a few blogs. The Rockstars of Romance has always been awesome in helping me promote this series, and I want to thank you so much for your continued support. What to Read After 50 Shades of Grey constantly posts my books and promotes them to their over 50,000 fans. Summer, thank you tremendously for all that you do for us independent authors. Kindle Crack was the first blog to give me a review, and thankfully a good one. I’ll never forget the moment when I read my first blog review. It was so amazing and inspiring. I hope I continue to write Kindle crack for you and your readers! Liezel’s Book Blog did an awesome quiz about my book on Goodreads. I never thought I’d see a day when that would happen! Very moving for me. Thank you. Finally, HEA book blog has been tremendously supportive and helped motivate me when I was hitting rough times with the second book. Thank you so much for always supporting me and being there to stalk me. I love it.

  Finally, I want to thank all of the blogs that have pimped my book and/or participated in my blog tour: Aestas Book Blog, Rock Band Romance, Between The Pages, Book Reader Chronicles, Bookaholics Blog, Bookish Besos Book Blog, Books Coffee and Wine, Buried Under Books, Chris’ Book Blog E
mporium, Crazies R Us Book Blog, Fabulous and Fun, Falling in Fall, Fictional Boyfriends, For The Love of Books, Hardcover Therapy, Jenee’s Book Blog, Love Drug Book Blog, Love N. Books, Mary Elizabeth’s Crazy Book Obsession, Mommy’s Reads and Treats, Morning After A Good Book, My Secret Romance Book Reviews, Nevaeh’s New Adult Book Blog, Novel Seduction, Rate My Romance, Romancebookworm’s Reviews, Romance Addiction, Shh Mom’s Reading, Sarah’s Book Blog, StayBlu reads, Stories and Swag, Smut Book Club, Swoon Worthy Books, The After Dark Diva’s Book Club, The Book Whore-der’s Delights, Total Book Nerds, and True Story Book Blog. I hope I remembered anyone! If I forgot, let me know and I’ll add you to the list!

  I hope you enjoyed the journey of Dylan and Jeremy as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  Excerpt From Chance Lost

  Coming Soon!

  Chance Lost

  Copyright © Jo LaRue

  All Rights Reserved

  Sylas sighed as he pulled into the parking area of The Den Bar & Grill. His friend Jack, another shifter he’d met long ago, was the owner. He had friends; just not many he trusted. Jack was one he trusted. He could count on one hand the friends in that grouping and still have fingers left over. Sylas was bored and down right tired of waiting for his mother to come through with her promise. 500 years of waiting, and that was 499 too many as far as he was concerned.

  He was one of a kind they told him, their Enforcer. The Fates had created him to keep balance between humans and the immortals. The only one who could shift into any species on the planet that he wanted. If it breathed, had wings or walked on 2 or 4 legs, Sylas could shift it. His primary animal was a black leopard and it was where he felt the most at home, even over his human form. His mother promised that there would be another, his mate, but he would have to be patient. His mother and her sisters didn’t bother to share who she would be or when to expect her. Being Immortal, lonely and bored, well, that was never a good combination.